Read I Forgot to Tell You Online
Authors: Charis Marsh
“I was mad at her after the competition because she was being mean and rude, so I pushed her off a stone wall in the parking lot, and now her tooth's chipped, and Mom has to pay for the dentist and I have to pay Mom back for it.” Emma sighed darkly.
“Ah,” Julian said. Alexandra could see his mouth twitch as he tried not to giggle. “That sucks.”
Alexandra started to grin despite herself, seeing the situation from Julian's point of view. “Oh, Emma ⦔
“Don't laugh at me!” Emma kicked Alexandra under the table, and Alexandra stopped laughing to glare at her.
Beth, Anna, and Justin came in with the dishes, and they all sat down. “Where's Dad?” Emma asked.
“He's in Seattle, working,” Justin answered.
“Yes,” Beth agreed. “Would you pass Anna the potatoes, Emma?”
Emma passed them silently. “Don't you dance with Lexi?” she asked.
Anna nodded. “Well, sort of,” she amended. “I used to. Now I dance with a different school.” She spoke with the sort of condescending voice that people who have never really been around kids use to talk to kids, and Emma's eyebrows rose with all of the disbelief that her eleven-year-old self was capable of. She looked across the table at her sister. Alexandra shrugged and nodded.
Even Emma gets how horrible she is. WTF, Justin â¦
The dinner passed painfully slowly in Alexandra's opinion, and seemed to be entirely too dominated by Beth asking Anna questions, and Anna answering them in a way Alexandra found painful. To make matters worse, Beth kept glaring at Alexandra and signalling with her eyes for her to eat. By the end Alexandra wanted nothing more than to slap Anna, so she did the next best thing; grabbed Julian's arm and fled the downstairs, making for her room. “Shouldn't we help with the dishes?” Julian asked.
“Definitely not,” Alexandra said firmly. “Here â I'm just going to be a moment, have to go and do something â can you sit here and do your homework? Or, here's my laptop, you can go on Facebook or whatever. Don't look at anything though.”
“Um, okay ⦔
Alexandra left him in her room, closing the door carefully behind her, and fled to the upstairs bathroom.
Stupid, stupid, stupid Justin, ugh!
She peered at herself in the mirror, she was barely able to focus she was so upset. Her stomach stuck out.
Oh god â¦
She bent down and quickly threw up most of the night's meal, then brushed her teeth. She hurried, thinking of Julian in her room. He could really be doing almost anything. She didn't want him to dig through her desk and find her application forms for the Royal Ballet School, San Francisco Ballet School, or Jackie Kennedy Onassis School, or to look on her shelf and find the science quiz that she had forgotten to study for and gotten a 66 percent on, or anything else she couldn't remember that was embarrassing â¦
She walked out of the door fixing her ponytail, and didn't notice Julian in the dark hallway. “Hey,” he said, his voice sounding loud in the silence of the upstairs.
“Agh!” Alexandra jumped.
Downstairs they could hear the sounds of dishes clattering together, and Beth's laughter.
“What are you doing here?” Alexandra asked quietly, once her heart rate had calmed down. “Is something wrong?”
Julian shrugged. “You tell me,” he suggested.
“Okaaay then, nothing's wrong. Come on; let's go back to my room. I'll make Justin drive you back home after Anna has finished sucking up to my mother a little more.”
Julian followed her to her bedroom, and sat down on the bed. “You want to maybe tell me about what just happened?”
“No, I don't,” Alexandra snapped. “Nothing happened.” She picked up her homework and held it to her, suddenly fascinated with her search for a paper somewhere in the pile.
Julian chose his next words carefully. “Look â I'm not trying to be judgmental here. Or to accuse you of anything, or to help you. Honestly? I don't care what you do. I'm just sort of ⦠curious.”
Alexandra sat next to him on the bed. “You're curious?”
I don't care if he knows, not really, not if he doesn't care and he doesn't tell anyone.
“Yes,” said Julian.
Alexandra's face suddenly lit up. “Jules, in your grade seven, was everyone always obsessed with Truth or Dare?”
“Yeah,” Julian laughed. “I always picked dare.”
“Let's play right now. Except, the person asking gets to pick truth or dare.”
Julian paused, considering. “All right. But no cheating.”
“Deal.” They turned to face each other on the bed, cross-legged with their hands palms up and resting on their knees like they were about to meditate.
Alexandra giggled nervously. “Who goes first?”
“Rock, Paper, Scissors.”
“Okay,” Alexandra agreed. They poised their fists and counted to three before throwing. Alexandra chose scissors and Julian opted for paper.
“I lose,” Julian said good-naturedly.
“Best out of three?”
“No, go ahead.”
Alexandra scrunched her eyes shut, trying to think of the perfect question. Suddenly her eyes flew open. “Got it. Are you gay or straight?”
Julian's mouth flew open. “Out of all the things you could ask me, that's the one that you were most curious about?”
Alexandra shrugged. “Well, not exactly me. But certain people would really like to know.”
Julian grimaced. “Tristan?”
“You got it.” Julian bit his lip, wavering. Alexandra was confused. “Dude, what's the big deal? Nobody really cares. It's not like we're gonna hate you no matter which one you pick. I'll even promise not to tell anyone if you want.” Alexandra subtly crossed her fingers as she tucked her left hand under her pillow.
I have to tell Tristan if I find out.
“It's just â” Julian was strangely at loss for words. “I don't know!”
Alexandra blinked. “What do you mean? How can you not know?”
Julian shrugged. “How are you supposed to know, anyway? But I don't want to date Tristan.”
“Okay.” Alexandra thought. She thought so hard that she forgot to worry about what she had to answer next. “You really don't know, though?”
“No.” Julian considered. “Do you think that means that I'm gay?”
Alexandra shrugged. “No, I think you just don't like anyone yet. I guess you'll find out when you find out. Until then, you'll just have to be the mandatory straight dude.”
“What?”
“Well, you know how like on a TV show they'll stick a non-Caucasian actor on to look ethnic, or a gay guy to look accepting? In dance, almost everyone is a girl or gay, so the shows always have a mandatory straight guy. That's you. Me and Grace decided that ages ago.”
“Um â thanks?”
“You're welcome.”
I can't wait to tell Tristan this.
“Okay, now you Truth or Dare me, quickly before I get nervous.” Alexandra closed her eyes in preparation.
“Truth. How come you throw up?”
Alexandra's eyes flew open, annoyed. “I thought that you were going to ask me
if
I threw up.”
“I already know you do,” Julian said, shrugging.
“Why do you smoke weed?”
“It's not your turn.”
“I'm trying to explain. Answer my question.”
“I dunno, because I like to. It calms me down.”
“That's why I throw up.”
“That doesn't make any sense.”
“It doesn't have to.”
Julian considered the logic of this. “I suppose it doesn't.” He leaned back against the wall. “This is a strange night.”
“Yeah,” Alexandra agreed, grabbing her pillow and clutching it to her. She rested her chin on it. “I'm glad you came, though.”
“Me, too.”
“You won't tell anyone, will you?” Alexandra asked, realizing that this was a belated request.
Julian grinned at her. He shrugged. “Oh, I don't know â”
“Julian!”
“Okay, okay, I won't! Besides,” he added seriously, “anyone who actually wanted to know probably already knows.”
Alexandra decided to ignore this comment. She yawned. “We should do some homework.”
Julian nodded. “Yeah.” They both sat up and started to work.
Alexandra heard Justin wake Julian up and Julian say goodbye to her in the hazy space between sleep and consciousness. As she heard her door close, and the boys moving downstairs, she managed to climb under the covers. She slid into a deep, dreamless sleep a second after she managed this feat, but as she was trying to find the edge of the quilt, she wondered what Julian had thought she was going to ask him.
What other question could he have thought I was going to ask if it wasn't whether he was gay or straight?
Julian Reese
The Vaccines just released a new album! So stoked ... Is this how 13 year old girls feel about One Direction?
“Don't fall!”
Julian ignored the shouts below him. He swung on top of the thin metal barrier that blocked him from the ground, and slowly straightened to standing.
“Julian, you idiot ⦔ a girl shouted.
Julian kept his focus. Over to his left was the ledge he had to reach. He inched along the thin rail, not looking down.
There.
He reached over and grabbed the soccer ball, tucking it in his arm and going back, slowly, but more confidently. He jumped down and turned to a boy he knew slightly, but couldn't remember his name. “You owe me five bucks.”
They traded the ball for money, and Julian started to walk off to class. “Julian! Julian Reese!” Julian turned slowly toward his counsellor's voice, a sheepish grin on his face. “Hi, Mr. Briggs.”
Mr. Briggs was walking toward him, looking more frazzled than normal. “Julian. Glad I found you.”
Julian frowned. Evidently Mr. Briggs
hadn't
just seen his stunt. “What's up, Mr. Briggs?”
“Your father wants you.”
Julian was confused. “My dad's here? Like, in Vancouver?”
“He's in my office. Come on.” Julian followed Mr. Briggs to the counselling offices, his mind a blank on what his father could want. Will was supposed to be on the Island. He hadn't told Julian that he was going to be in Vancouver.
Will was sitting in the counsellor's office, looking like he had slept in the clothes he had on. His hair was messy and slightly matted in the way that looked normal on Valdez but not so much in Vancouver. “Here he is, Will,” Mr. Briggs said. “Let me know if you need anything else.”
Will nodded, ignoring him. Mr. Briggs looked at him, obviously curious about the parent he'd probably seen the least of out of all the students that he was in charge of, but he walked off, giving them their privacy. “Hey,” Julian said, questioningly.
“Hey. Look, just wanted to let you know, I'm going up to Kamloops for a few weeks,” Will said.
“Okay?”
“So, I won't be able to watch your show.”
“That's okay.” Julian shrugged. “I don't dance much in it, anyway.”
“How come?”
“I don't know. I'm not good enough yet?”
“Oh.” Will paused, working up to what he had really meant to say. “So, has your mom talked to you yet about whether she's going to pay for your lessons yet?”
“I told you,” Julian said impatiently. “She isn't paying for my lessons. I'm on scholarship, I just need my homestay fees paid, and Luigi isn't going to pay for them since he and mom split up.”
Will thought about this. “Well, could you ask him to?”
“Uh, no?” Julian said indignantly. “I am not going to ask him to do that! Why would he pay for my homestay if he's not dating Satya anymore?”
“Well, you could still ask him, Julian. So, does this mean that you will be home next year?”
Julian shrugged. “I don't know.”
“What are your options?”
“I don't know! I'll handle it, Dad, I promise. I'll tell you when I know what I'm doing; I just really don't know what I am doing right now.”
“Okay.” Will stood up, stretching. “Ahhh, that feels good. Daisy's been getting me into yoga, it's great.”
“Cool,” Julian said, distracted by thoughts of what he was going to do next year.
Why do I always have to be the grown-up?
“It was nice to see you, buddy. You look good.”
“Thanks.” Julian smiled. “You have to go now?”
“Yeah, a guy's giving me a ride up in half an hour; have to go meet him at the Canada Line Station.”
“Kk, bye.” Julian hugged him, and then Will left. Julian picked up his backpack and went to leave, going to his next class; but he was stopped by Mr. Briggs in the hallway.
“How is everything, Jules?”
“Pretty good.”
“Everything working out for you? How are your classes?”
“Okay. Getting a B average, I think.”
“Still like dance?”
“Of course!”
Mr. Briggs laughed. “Okay, just asking. That's my job, you know.” He disappeared into his office with a large pile of McKinley school T-shirts, whistling the “Phantom of the Opera.”
Julian walked out into the hallway and realized that his class must have already started; the main floor was empty. He broke into a run, up three flights of stairs until he ended up in his Biology class. He slid onto a chair next to Tristan.
Mr. Fu was already writing on the board. “Now, the translation step in protein synthesis has three mini steps,” he said over-excitedly as he drew on the white board. “These are
initiation
,
elongation
, and
termination
.”
Julian reached in his backpack, pulling out his notebook and writing the notes down. “Hey, can I copy what I missed?” he whispered to Tristan.
Tristan pretended not to hear him and Julian frowned. He could see Tristan's notebook, and it had a full paragraph of writing in Tristan's peculiarly small and neat printing. “Tristan! Can I copy?” He looked up; Mr. Fu was drawing pictures of DNA strands untangling, and he looked like he was going to be a while.
“Fine!” Tristan muttered. “You can copy after class!”
Julian frowned. The writing was right in front of him. If Tristan would just move his elbow to the side a little bit, he could read it ⦠there, if he leaned at an angle he could get it. He began to write in his own loopy printing: “DNA is transcribed to mRNA in the nucleus and mRNA is translated into protein in the cytoplasm ⦔ Julian wondered why Tristan was in such an annoying mood lately. He had been so much fun at the beginning of the year, and now he was always grumpy and never seemed to have any time for Julian.
After class, Julian stopped to drink from the water fountain. “Hey, Julian,” Jonathon said. “How's it going?”
Julian stood up and wiped the water from his mouth. “Good.” They began to walk to the bus stop, weaving through the usual lunchtime chaos.
“I heard that you were going to be in Leah's new piece.”
“Yeah!” Julian grinned, suddenly remembering.
“Yeah, I am.” A list had appeared on the academy schedule board yesterday morning. It had been titled “Contemporary June Piece” and the teacher listed had been Leah. There had been a rather small list of dancers on the list, and Julian was stoked to be included. “You?” Julian actually couldn't remember if Jonathon had been on the list or not.
“Nope.” Jonathon shrugged. “Whatever. Contem-porary's not my strong suit.”
Julian frowned. He flashed back to the many conversations that he had had with Jonathon. “I thought that you said you used to always get first place in any contemporary competitions that you had? And remember you said there was that girl who was in love with you because of that contemporary piece you did where you were almost naked? And what about that contemporary teacher who told you that you should stick to contemporary because you were too expressive for ballet?”
“Uh,” Jonathon said, swiftly backtracking, “yes, but that was different contemporary. That was proper contemporary. Leah's is more like jazz.”
“Well, I like Leah's contemporary,” Julian said loyally.
“Mmf,” Jonathon answered.
“How are privates with Kaitlyn going?” Julian asked curiously.
“Oh. I decided not to ask her if she wanted to share privates,” Jonathon said quickly.
Julian was confused. “But I thought you were going to do it last Friday. Remember, you left me and you were totally going over to her to ask?”
“I changed my mind,” Jonathon said briefly.
Julian stopped asking questions and they walked to the bus stop in silence. Julian was beginning to doubt that Jonathon had actually accomplished all the feats that he bragged about.
The bus was late as usual, and Julian made his way to a seat beside Tristan and Delilah. They were both absorbed in whatever they were talking about with each other, so Julian put on his iPod and listened to his favourite Gotye song as he began to eat his lunch.
Inside the studio, Julian was excited to learn the piece. They were all sprawled out on the floor, waiting for Leah to arrive. So far, there was Julian, Kageki, Michael, Delilah, Taylor, and Chloe. Three boys and three girls. Michael and Chloe looked both terrified and ecstatic to be in the same piece as the other four. Taylor looked exhausted and sweaty. “How was morning class?” Julian asked her. “Still fun?”
Taylor nodded, smothering a yawn. “So tired. Mrs. Castillo had us doing
petit allegro
for an hour straight, I swear. And then an hour of
grande allegro
.” Her bodysuit was soaking wet in the back and the front, and as she rolled away from a spot on the floor that she had been lying on, Julian could see a damp spot from her sweat. Kageki was busy doing
pirouettes
.
Around and around and around
â Julian watched him turn, envious of his confidence.
Leah walked in a bit late, and flung her bags to the row of seats beside the mirror. “You all here?” She did a head count. “Okay, good. Now, I had wanted Alexandra and Tristan to be here too, but the Demidovskis tell me this is impossible â” Leah shook her head, annoyed. “So, it's just going to be the six of you.” She sat on the floor, stretching her legs out in a
V
in front of her. “So, let me tell you what's going on. This piece is going to be awesome. Who's heard the song âSomebody That I Used To Know?' The Gotye song? Julian flung his hand out, a huge grin on his face. He'd just been listening to it on the bus!
We're doing a piece to that song? Oh, please, please!
Leah looked around. “Just Julian?” She sounded surprised.
Taylor rolled over to Julian. “Is that the one that you made me listen to?” she whispered. Julian nodded, and Taylor put her hand up.
“Two people? Okay, that's better.”
Beside Julian, Michael looked upset, like it was the first day of a class and he was already failing.
“It's okay if you haven't heard it already,” Leah said. “That's your homework. I want you to go watch the music video on YouTube tonight. The piece we're doing today is going to be choreographed to that song. Now, I'm just going to partner you guys up: Michael and Chloe, Julian and Taylor, Kageki and Delilah.”
They nodded. They'd already been sitting in those pairs, assuming that she would sort them this way.
“Now, I want you to listen to me,” Leah said, leaning forward and looking them in the eyes. She was talking to them seriously, as if they were co-conspirators, not a teacher and her students. “The reason that we are starting rehearsal on this piece so late is because the Demidovskis wouldn't give me the time or the studio space with you guys. This piece is going to be given last priority, after
Coppelia
. I need you guys to make it your first priority, all right? If I say come, rehearse, I want you to come. No âOh, Mr. Moretti wants me to rehearse Villagers for another six hours,' no âOh, Mrs. Demidovski just wants me to stand here modelling this costume for her for the next hour.' Do you understand?”
They nodded.
“Good. This piece
should
be your first priority. Mrs. Demidovski told me that you are all in the
corps
of
Coppelia
, so there should be no problem.”
Julian saw Taylor gulp and look down beside him. He frowned; what did that mean? Had she been given another role recently? He thought that Mao and Keiko were first and second cast of the flower
pas de deux
.
“Let's get started.” Leah walked over to plug her iPod into her player, and the dancers began to take off their sweatshirts. Julian grinned at Taylor; this piece was going to be so much fun.
After they had been rehearsing for an hour and a half, the door opened. Mrs. Demidovski walked in with Mrs. Castillo. “May we watch?” Mrs. Demidovski asked. It was not a question.
“They haven't learned much yet,” Leah protested.
Mrs. Demidovski waved away Leah's objections. “Just show me.”
“All right.” Leah sighed. “Everyone, from the beginning. Don't worry if you forget something.” She turned on the music, and they began.
After about two minutes, the piece had completely unravelled. Leah stood up and began marking the girls' part for them, but as the girls tried to copy her, the boys were utterly lost. “All right, enough.” Mrs. Demidovski put her hand up. “Good.” From the tone of her voice Julian could tell that she meant the opposite. “Good. Thank you.” She turned to Leah. “I will send Cromwell Gilly up to you, he can show you which costumes you can use in the costume room. Taylor, Jules, with me.” Taylor and Julian immediately stepped toward her to follow her from the room.
“Hey,” Leah protested. “Can I please have them for a bit more? We're still working here.”
“They can catch up later,” Mrs. Demidovski assured her. “They need to rehearse
Coppelia
right now.” Taylor and Julian followed Mrs. Demidovski out of the studio, heading downstairs and leaving an extremely frustrated Leah behind them. Julian fought not to giggle; on one hand he could sympathize with Leah's difficulties in dealing with the Demidovskis, but on the other hand it was extremely entertaining to watch Mrs. Demidovski so easily win an argument with her.
Downstairs, it was sunny and everyone who hadn't been on the list for contemporary was in the big studio, rehearsing first act. Julian went to walk in the studio, but Mrs. Demidovski grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back. “Come here,” she insisted, leading Taylor and Julian into studio B instead. Julian looked at Taylor and she shrugged.