Hush: Family Secrets (25 page)

Epilogue

I push the bottle of brandy away from me. I’m tired of drinking; tired of running; tired of being the coward my cousin has called me. The woman I once thought I loved has moved on with her life and I am still stuck in my own regret.

I didn’t fight for Pamela like I should have. Before she even met her husband I should have fought for her. When she was pregnant with our baby I should have fought for her, but I didn’t. I never deserved her and I don’t deserve Shannon either.

I feel nothing but guilt when I look at her. I know I love her but she deserves a better man than the one I am. I can’t have her the way I want so here I am in London hiding.

I snort to myself as another dancer offers me a lap dance. I refuse once again, not even sure why I am here. I drop my head in my hands. My mind goes to the last time I saw Shannon. She was gorgeous as she sat holding Uri’s new born baby. I couldn’t help wondering what our baby would look like.

She wouldn’t look at me then. I think that hurt more than anything. She thinks I don’t want her but I want nothing more. I don’t know what to do anymore and I can’t go running to Uri. He has a family now. He doesn’t need to be fixing my mess.

“Just bring me a bottle of water please. I’m still breastfeeding,” I hear a familiar voice say. My head snaps up.

Now sitting in the booth with me is a pissed off looking Valentina and an amused Uri. I groan and throw my head back against the plush chair. I have managed to drag more than my cousin into this.

“You look like shit,” my head is spinning as it snaps to the new voice. I know that voice so well. I used to hear it call out my name in passion.
Pamela,
a very disgusted looking Pamela and her expressionless husband.

I snort humorlessly. “What do you care?” I snap.

“See, you are going to watch that shit right there,” Nathan Briggs the man that bested me growls while pointing his finger at me.

I look to Uri and he is now giving me the same look Nathan is. Great, when it comes to Pam why do I ever think Uri is going to be on my side? I drag my hand down my face and heave a heavy sigh.

“Why are you all here?” I say less bitterly and more dejectedly.

“I care for Shannon but now I think someone needs to be looking out for your sad ass too,” Pam sass.

“What’s wrong with Shannon,” I demand ignoring her last jab. I deserve it.

“She needs you,” Pam says more softly. A smile tips her lips at my reaction.

“I thought I could be there for her, but I think you are the only one that can help her,” Valentina says sadly. “She needs to know you want her. You do want her?”

“Yes,” I reply without thought. “I don’t deserve her but I want her.”

“Listen Luca,” Pam starts as she takes a seat. “You have to let go. I get you were under family pressure. I know you didn’t really mean to hurt me. Uri and I have talked about all this. Maybe in another life you and I could have been something more, something great, but in this life… I want Nate, I love Nate and if it weren’t for the hurt I was caused by you who knows if I would have found him.

“Now you have Shannon. She is such a lovely girl. She needs you and you need her. So cut the shit and go home. Claim your woman and fix her,” Pam finishes with more force at the end causing Nathan and Uri to chuckle.

“Let’s get you a shower and I’ll fill you in on what’s been going on,” Uri says placing a hand on my shoulder.

Just then my phone rings. My face goes pale when I see it is Shannon calling. “Hello,” I answer right away.

“You don’t have to want me,” her voice comes to me slurred.

“Shannon?”

She snorts. “Is there someone else not good enough for you? I met
Pamela,
God
I can’t even hate her. She is so sweet, so cool. Did you know you call her name in your sleep? You don’t have to love me Luca. You would have to know me to love me and I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be anymore.”

“Shannon, Baby listen to me. I’m on my way home. Where are you? Is someone with you?” I rush out.

“I am –,” her words are cutoff by a scream and the sound of glass and metal being crushed and tires screeching before the phone goes dead.

“Shannon, Shannon,
Shannon
,” my voice is raw as I scream into the phone. I know she is not there but my brain doesn’t want to accept it.

The phone drops from my hand and I barely register that Valentina is screaming at me. I look to the person that I have counted on to fix things in my life since I was younger. Right now I need someone to fix this.

“Get me to her,” is all I manage to choke out.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

OMG! This book…I put a part of me into this book. Talk about a fight. I hope you all enjoyed it. I thank you so much for your support and patience with me. I love where this series is going. I have so much more for these characters. I think the fight was worth it. Once again all your emails and comments on Facebook mean so much. I also want to thank you all for the reviews on amazon. You are all the best.

Thank you to my husband. You are the best. I know seeing me through this particular book was extra hard. As painful to you as it was for me literally but you helped me through and encouraged me to push even on days when I had to stand up while writing or hang up side down to work it out. I think we figured out just how creative our family can be. LOL

I thank God for my talent and the courage not to bury it. I can do nothing without the source of my being. All success is for his Glory. I love what I do and I love that I can share it with you all. Here is to dreams coming true. On to the next!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Blue Saffire is a house wife with too much time to think and not enough time to herself. By some miracle she has found the time to write books. Blue represents the secret author inside that some of us are too scared to let out.

Blue is a stay at home mother and a loving wife. They all enjoy life in the suburbs. However life throws her challenges daily and since her dairy is no longer enough she has decided it is time for new outlets for the words she would never say face to face to her friends, family or other moms and definitely not her husband.

So here in lays the thoughts of Blue Saffire, the author, the wife, the mother, and the woman. Enjoy.

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Other books by Blue Saffire

Also available….

Legally Bound

Legally Bound 2 : Against the Law