Hunting Shadows (Shadow Series #3) (5 page)

“But I need to have visions to see
who’s at risk of being overtaken,” I said in frustration. “I have no idea when I’ll
start having them again.”

“I’m sure they’ll return soon. Your mind is probab
ly blocking them because of all
the trauma you’ve been through. But in the meantime, we can work off my visions. I’m
sure you’ve realized that for a seer as strong as you, you have the ability to destroy
vardogers beyond your own visions.”

Simon broke into the conversation before I could respond. I was surprised that I had
forgotten his presence for a few moments because I w
as completely absorbed by Ryan. I had m
issed the growing tension in
Simon’s
body
, but I didn’t miss how his voice vibrated with anger when he spoke.

“This isn’t a game,” he bit out, his fists clenching in his lap. “Caitlin is in danger
and she doesn’t need to go out playing Buffy the Vampire Slayer by hunting vardogers.
I’m trying to keep her safe, not actively putting her in harm’s way.”

Ryan’s jaw tightened as he looked at Simon challengingly. “You’re not helping her
by keeping her hidden away. She’s no shrinking violet. She’s a seer, and an incredibly
powerful one at that. She needs to learn to hone her skills, and she can only do that
by using them. You want to keep her safe? Then give her the ability to protect herself.”
Ryan’s eyes narrowed as he continued to speak. “Or are you afraid of her becoming
stronger?
Are you afraid of her seeing you fo
r what you really are? A killer.
”

Simon shot up, and before I realized what was happening, he had hauled Ryan up
off the couch by his collar
.
“I’ll destroy you before I let you come
between us,” he bit
out viciously.
“
Maybe I should kill
y
ou now, to get it over with
.”

Instead of cowering, Ryan smirked and met his gaze with no fear. “I figured you’d
resort to your true nature sooner or later. I just didn’t realize
how soon it would be.”

I felt glued to my chair as I stared at them; seer and vardoger facing off. Natural
enemies that were balking at the circumstances forcing them to work together. I had
the thought to rush over to try to calm Simon down, to reason with him to take his
hands off Ryan, but I remained seated. I couldn’t always be there to diffuse every
situation and they needed to come to terms with each other on their own. Besides,
I didn’t believe Simon would actually hurt Ryan j
ust because he made him angry
. I heard a whisper in the back of my mind that maybe that
belief
made me a fool, but I squelched the thought as soon as I had it.

Grant and Sarah were also silent as they watched Ryan and Simon
face
off. Grant looked tense while Sarah looked absolutely frightened, her face ashen a
nd her eyes wide with fear
. I knew she still didn’t trust Simon, and she watched as if she expected Simon to
tear into Ryan.

Seconds seemed like minutes until Simon finally released his grip and stepped back
, his eyes glittering with repressed emotion
.
“That’
s what you want. You want her
to see me as an animal. Inhuman.
You’re going to have to work harder
than that
for me to
lose it. But
I won’t let you
put Caitlin in danger.”

“He’s right, Simon.”

Simon turned to
wards
me, and I could see the look of betrayal in his eyes for
siding with Ryan. I knew he wanted to protect me, but
that’s the last thing I needed right now.

“I need to get stronger to defeat my father
. I need to use the time he’s unwi
ttingly given me to strengthen my powers
.” I gentled my voice before continuing. “And I’m a seer. This is my calling, what
I’m meant to do.
I can’t deny it. I don’t
want
to deny it.”

Simon’s expression darkened. “There’s a difference between pursuing vardogers you’ve
seen in your own visions and going after the ones Ryan sees
in his
. That’s his goddamn calling, not yours.”

I stood and walked over to him, placing a hand on his arm.
“Please don’t fight me on this. I need your help. I need you to be on my side.”

An expression of hurt flashed across his face. “I
am
on your side. I didn’t think
you doubted that
.”

I sighed heavily, the desire to soothe his hurt battling with the need to stake my
independence. “I don’t doubt it. I know you’re just trying to protect me, but I need
more than that right now. I need you to believe that I know what I’m doing.”

I was
n’t even sure if I
believed I knew what I was doing, and Simon seemed like he was going to argue, but
then his shoulders slumped in defeat. “I do believe in you. I’ll su
pport this, but the second
I think it’s becoming too dangerous, I’m
pulling
you out.”

His acceptance was more than I
had
hoped for, so I just nodded despite bristling at his attitude that he
thought he
had the right to dictate when it became too dangerous. I turned to Ryan who had been
watching our exchange with an unreadable expression.

“I guess now we just have to wait
for one of us to have a vision,
”
I said.

“I already had one last night
of a person
being killed by their vardoger
.” Ryan looked down at the couch an
d straight at Grant. “It was
of
him.”

Chapter Four

Sarah gasped and clutched Grant’s hand, h
er face turning even more ashen
. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach as I followed Ryan’s gaze to Grant.
Grant
looked like he was in a state of shock. Even Simon seemed taken aback by Ryan’s
revelation.

“It can’t be!” Sarah cried out. “You must be mistaken!”

Ryan’s expression was grim when he spoke. “I’m sorry, but I’m not mistaken. I clearly
saw him in my vision last night.”

I spoke
before Ryan could describe what he had seen. “Are you sure you
’re ready
t
o hear
this?” I asked
them
. Grant was still frozen and Sarah
was trembling
with fear. I wasn’t sure if they
could take the grisly details of whatever Ryan was about to tel
l us. Despite her distress, Sarah
straightened with a determined look on her face.

“I’m sure. Burying our
head
s
in the s
and isn’t going to help matters,” she said resolutely.
“We
need to know everything.”

Grant
nodded
stiffly
in agreement, and I cast
him a worried look, but his jaw tightened resolutely when he saw my gaze on him
.

Ryan glanced at me questioningly
and I indicated for him to continue. Sarah was right. Not knowing the truth wouldn’t
stop it from being true. Better to be prepared.

“It
happened outside in a wooded area,” Ryan started. “It was pretty straight-forward.
He was being pursued until his vardoger finally caught up to him.” He paused and glanced
at
Grant
before continuing, hi
s voice noticeably gentling. “He
was then shot in the head with a gun.”

Sarah whimpered
at his words and Grant’s face whitened, tension rad
iating through
every line of his face. “Is my vardoger here now?” he asked, his voice strained.

“Most likely,” Ryan answered. “Vardogers are attached to their human bodies, but it’s
nothing more than a shadow at this point. Like I said earlier, I can only sense the
energies of vardogers who have already overtaken their humans.
I can’t feel them when they’re just shadows. But y
ou don’t have to worry about your vardoger until the moment it decides to step out
of the shadows to overtake your body.”

Grant took a deep breath as he visibly tried to calm himself. There was a tinge of
hysteria to Sarah’s voice when she spok
e. “What happens now? How do we
protect Grant?”

“We’ll stay with him
until his vardoger attacks,” I answered. “We won’t let anything happen to him.”

Sarah didn’t seem comforted by my words, but
I couldn’t
blame her. Nothing I said would minimize her fears for Grant’s safety.

Ryan ran his hand through his hair
, suddenly looking tired
and worn out.

“Do you want something to drink or eat?” It felt a little ludicrous to be playing
hostess in this situation, but I was suddenly reminded that despite being a powerful
seer, Ryan was still just a human.

He shook his head. “No thanks, I’m fine.”

“You must be tired after the long drive,” I said. “Did you bring an overnight bag
or anything?”

“It’s in my car.”

“Why don’t you go get it?” I checked my watch and saw that it was close to two a.m.
“I doubt any of us will get much sleep tonight, but we can at least try. Of course
you’ll stay here, especially since we need to keep an eye on Grant.”

“Thanks. I’ll go get my bag.”

No one spoke until Ryan had closed the door behind
him to retrieve his bag from his
car. Grant was the first one to speak.

“Do you think we can trust him?”

“I do,” I answered. “I don’t think there’s any reason for him to lie to us. Especially
about having a vision of you.
”

“Of course
there’re
plenty of reasons for him to lie to us,” Simon challenged. “He could be working with
your father, for all we know.”

“Why the complicated ruse then?” I demanded. “My father knows where I am. He could
just come here himself and face me.”

Simon shook his head in frustration. “He wants to become immortal and he believes
you hold the key to that. He may believe that he can use Ryan to get to you, to get
some answers.” His mouth thinned. “Like how he wanted to use me
with
you
. He just got too impatient
to see it through and decided to take matters into his own hands
.”

“That’s not what’s happening here
,” I said emphatically. “Like you said, my father is too impatient. He wouldn’t try
something like that again. I don’t know what he’s planning right now, but I doubt
he’ll try to use the sa
me method twice. Especially since
it didn’t succeed the first time.”

I knew better than to mention that the connection I had immediately felt with Ryan
made me trust him.
Simon would misconstrue it as something else. It was just that Ryan
knew better than anyone what it meant to be a seer. How isolating and lonely it could
be.

“Do you think it’s a good idea for him to stay here?” Sarah whispered, as if she
were afraid Ryan was listening
with his ear to the door. “What if he tries something in the middle of the night?”

“I need him to help me protect Grant. I can’t watch him 24/7. The last thing we need
is for everyone to be sleep deprived while trying to fight vardogers.”

I was surprised that Simon hadn’t been the one to object to Ryan staying at the apartment,
but he cleared that up with his response. “It’s better to keep him close where we
can keep an eye on him.” He raised an eyebrow
at me as he spoke. “And you can damn well be sure that I’ll be staying here too.”

I nodded. The last thing I wanted to be deprived of was Simon’s presence. As much
as I believed Ryan was trustworthy, I felt safer with Simon around.
I turned to Grant. “You should stay here too. We have no idea when your vardoger
is going to attack, so we need to keep watch even when you’re asleep.”

Grant grimaced. “I doubt I’m going to get any sleep, but you won’t be hearing
any objections from me
. My macho bravado
went out the door once I heard about being shot in the head by my vardoger.”

Our conversation w
as halted by the return of Ryan who had a b
ag slung over his shoulder. I
t was obvious tha
t we were discussing him by our
sudden silence,
but he pretended not to
notice.

“What are the sleeping arrangements going to be?” Sarah asked. “We can’t all sleep
in one room.”

“Ryan and I will take turns keeping watch,” I answered. “You and Grant can sleep in
your bed
.” I glanced at Ryan. “Do you mind taking the couch?
”

Ryan nodded agreeably. “That’s fine with me.”

Sarah wrinkled her nose at my pronouncement. “I don’t think I’m going to get much
sleep being watched. I doubt I would get any sleep even without being watched.”

“We don’t know how long it’ll be until Gra
nt’s vardoger attacks,” I warned
. “It could be tomorrow or it could be next month. We have to prepare for the long
haul.”

Sarah nodded
,
and despite the sleeping arrangements having been determined, no one made a move
to go to bed. We were all too wired by everything that had been revealed, and the
last thing anyone seemed to want to do was sleep.

We were lost in our own thoughts
when Sarah broke
the silence. “Screw sleep. I need a drink. Anyone want a beer?”

Everyone took her up on
her
offer, even Ryan. Grant went with her to help
get the drinks, and once we were all settled back in the living room with our beers,
the silence was punctuated with
sounds of drinking. An outsider would have thought we were just an ordinary group
of friends hanging out, but nothing about our situation was ordinary. I leaned back
in the recliner with a sigh, feeling the comforting warmth of Simon’s body next to
me.

“Where are you from, Ryan?” I asked, trying to fill the heavy silence with conversation.

“I’m originally from Seattle, but I’ve been living
in Boston for a while.”

Sarah leaned forward, seemingly eager to know more about Ryan. “When did you realize
you were a seer?”

“I’ve known ever since I can remember,” he replie
d, not put off by her curiosity
. “My mother was a seer, and she believed in raising me with the truth.”

“I didn’t even realize guys could be seers before we met you,” Sarah
confessed. “I thought it was strictly a chick thing.”

Ryan smiled faintly, making him look a lot younger and more innocent. The rest of
us stayed silent, content to just listen to Ryan and Sarah’s conversat
ion. I learned that Ryan
lived off some investments he had made
from an inheritance
, leaving him free to track vardogers without being encumbered by a day job.
It was fascinating to hear him talk about his life as if it were completely normal;
as if tracking and killing vardogers was just another activity of life.

Now
that my body had been drained of adrenaline
, I felt
a heavy
fatigue creeping in. The others must have felt the same because no one objected when
Sarah yawned and pronounced that it was time to go to bed.

“I’ll take the first shift watching Grant,” Ryan volunteered.

“It’s okay. I’m not tired at all,” I lied. As much as I believed I could trust Ryan,
I
was still a little wary leaving
him alone with Grant and Sarah, just in case my instincts were wrong.
“I’ll take the first watch.”

Ryan studied me for a moment, and then shrugged. “Okay. Just wake me up when you want
to switch.”

I left Ryan
to
arrange the sheets and pillow I had given him for the couch, and followed Sarah and
Grant to her bedroom.

“Um, do you mind giving me a minute?” Grant asked. “I need to change.”

“Oh, sure,” I said, reddening. “I should go change too.”

Simon was close behind me
as I went to my bedroom. He didn’t say anything as I changed, and I wasn’t sure if
his silence
was better than a show of
anger
. I sat next to him on the bed when I was done and took his hand in mine.

“Simon, don’t be angry. We have no other choice. We should be relieved that Ryan is
here to help us. We don’t have to worry about my father surprising us anymore.”

His grip suddenly tightened as he looked at me with a troubled expression. “I have
a bad feeling about this, Caitlin. Something doesn’t feel right.
I’m starting to think it’s a mistake to let him stay here.
”

“It’s just because you’re worried. At least
now
we can do something besides just sitting around the apartment waiting for my father
to attack. Please just trust me on this.”

Simon sighed heavily. “It’s not you that I don’t trust. It’s
him.
”

“Then trust that I know what I’m doing. I’m not
just
trusting him blindly. I’ll be careful.”

The corners of Simon’s lips turned down but he nodded in acquiescence. I pulled his
head down, feeling a rush of warmth run through my body as our lips met. No matter
how many times I kissed him, it never failed to quicken my pulse
as I felt the familiar need pull at me. Simon cupped my head between his hands, deepening
the kiss
as I moved
closer to him, wanting to feel his body against mine. It was so easy to forget everything
in his embrace, but it was dangerous as well.
In that moment, the dangers we were facing dissipated and all that was left was my
need for Simon. It left me too vulnerable.

I was finally able to pull back. “I need to go to Sarah’s room,” I said breathlessly.

Simon didn’t answer right away as he brushed his thumb softly against my cheek, staring
at me intently. When he finally did speak, his voice was low and roughened by desire.
“I’m going with you.”

I didn’t object, and we b
oth stepped into Sarah’s room when
she bade us to come in after my knock.