How to Sew a Button: And Other Nifty Things Your Grandmother Knew (11 page)

Step 1:
Send everyone with pitter-pattering feet packing, move any furniture that’s in your way, and put on some good music. Remember, the word
mop
doesn’t end with an
e
.

Step 2:
Sweep the floor to remove any dust or dirt, which can scratch your floors and literally muck up the works.

Step 3:
Fill a bucket with cold water and add a squirt of dishwashing detergent.

Step 4:
Dunk your mop, thoroughly wring it out, and go to it, starting in the far corner of your room. On polyurethaned hardwood floors, run your mop with the grain of the wood. (Never mop waxed hardwood floors; the water may cause damage.) For textured floors, move your mop in small figure eights.

Step 5:
Once you finish a section or when your mop starts looking dirty, wring it out over your bucket, dunk it, wring once more, and continue mopping.

Step 6:
Once you’ve finished the job, dump your mop water into the toilet (so you don’t dirty your sink) and flush. Peek at your sparkling floors, but don’t step on them, not even on tiptoe, until they’re dry.

• Use a cotton mop for textured floors, like brick or slate, and a sponge mop for smooth surfaces, like hardwood or linoleum.
  

• Plan your exit strategy before starting, so you don’t mop yourself into a corner.
  

• To mop hallways, go along the baseboard first and then do the middle.
  

Step 1:
Take your dank clothes outside and brush off any black fuzz you might see.

Step 2:
Make a paste of lemon juice and salt and spread on the spotted area.

Step 3:
Leave your clothes in the sun for several hours. If you have a clothesline, hang them up. Otherwise, lay them flat on a clean, dry surface.

Step 4:
Rinse thoroughly with water, and then launder as usual.

Step 1:
It’s perfectly acceptable to cry over your mildewed books. Just don’t let your tears fall on the pages. Moisture and warmth promote mold.

Step 2:
After you regain your composure, take your books outside
on a sunny day. With a dry towel, gently brush the damaged pages.

Step 3:
Very lightly dust the pages with cornstarch, set the books on end, and leave in the fresh air for several hours.

Step 4:
Brush your pages once more, and start reading.

Step 1:
Check for change between the cushions, and do with it what you will. (For suggestions see
Part 8
)

Step 2:
Give your couch or chair a good once-over with your vacuum.

Step 3:
Carry the item outside on a sunny, not-too-humid day and let the sun do its work. A few black spores are no match for powerful UV rays. Sha-zam!

Step 1:
Put on some rubber gloves. (Do it with a dramatic snapping motion to increase your pleasure.)

Step 2:
Pour ¾ cup bleach into a gallon of water, and with a clean sponge, wipe down your walls.

Step 3:
Rinse out your sponge with fresh water, and wipe the walls once more.

Step 1:
Spray or wipe your tiles with a solution of four parts water to one part vinegar, and go do something else, preferably something
much more fun, for an hour or so. (You can also use straight vinegar, but do it too frequently and it may break down your grout.)

Step 2:
Sprinkle baking soda on a stiff brush (or a toothbrush) and go nuts on your walls, scrubbing all the grout lines vigorously.

Step 3:
Rinse and, if necessary, repeat.

• Keep your home clean and well ventilated. Mildew thrives in dirty, dark, and moist places. Open your windows on breezy days. Don’t put dirty or wet clothes in your closet. Turn on your bathroom fan. And think about new ways to let the sun shine in!
  

Step 1:
Clean up. Sure, you’re an exceedingly interesting person, but the only reason mice (those moochers!) will want to visit you is for the free food. If you don’t offer them any, they’ll be less likely to shack up with you. So, leave no crumb behind. Wipe off your countertop and sweep your kitchen floor when you’re through cooking. Don’t eat potato chips on the couch (or crackers in bed). Cover or take out your trash. Store edibles, like cereal and even dog food, in air-tight containers. And if you see any mouse poop, clean that up, too.

Step 2:
Find their entry points. Check for holes (¼ inch or larger) along your walls, underneath your cabinets, between your floorboards and baseboards, and especially around lighting and plumbing fixtures. Don’t forget to peek behind the stove and refrigerator! Stuff any crevices you find with steel wool. Mice can’t chew through it.

Step 3:
Pour a few drops of peppermint oil (available at most health food stores or grocers) onto cotton balls and place them around the house, particularly in places where you think mice may frequent, like behind your stove, under your sinks, along your walls, near your trash can, or around your heating vents. The minty-fresh smell will make you feel peppy and make your mice feel overwhelmed. Their schnozes are just too sensitive.

Step 4:
If all else fails, set traps along your walls, which is where mice prefer to run. Snap traps are the most humane because they kill instantly. Glue traps are mean because they don’t. And no-kill traps will keep your mice alive, at least until you relocate them to a field, where, sad to say, their chances may be slim anyway.

• Plant peppermint around your doors and in window boxes to help make your house less welcoming to Mickey, Minnie, and their no-good cousins.
  

• Get a kitty.
  

Step 1:
Schedule it. Spring cleaning isn’t something you should start on a whim. You’ve got to get into the proper mind-set. Block off a weekend (or more, if you’re in it alone), stock up on cleaning supplies (including paper towels, baking soda, and vinegar), make an excellent playlist, and think about how refreshed you’ll feel when everything is spiffed up and in order.

Step 2:
Make a checklist, room by room, of tasks to be completed. In each room, you’ll need to: dust every surface (including your walls, ceiling, and ceiling fans); wipe down dirty walls (using a sponge, water, and a squirt of dishwashing detergent); mop or vacuum (even under and behind furniture): steam clean your rugs if necessary; wash your light fixtures; take down and wash your drapes or blinds; beat your cushions, rugs, pillows, and mats (outside); and clean your windows inside
and
out (including your screens). It sounds sucky and a bit overwhelming, but just tackle it bit by bit. Yes, it’s hard, but most good things in life are.

Step 3:
Add room-by-room specialty tasks to your list. In the kitchen, wipe out the fridge, defrost and wipe out your freezer, clean your oven, and organize your pantry and drawers. In the bedroom,
flip and rotate your mattress, switch your bedding, wash your pillows, and swap your winter clothes for summer clothes, donating anything you no longer wear. In the bathroom, add your weekly tasks, like scrubbing your toilet, shower, and sinks, plus clean out your medicine cabinet, tossing any expired goods. In the office, remove your books from shelves and dust, wipe down computers, and organize your important papers.

Step 4:
Prioritize your tasks to decide which ones you’d like to tackle first. If you have help, start delegating. If not, dive in, making sure you can finish what you start, lest you create a bigger mess.