How To Bring Your Love Life Back From The Dead (6 page)

“It’s okay. I understand that.” And
she did. There hadn’t really been a time where it would have made
sense for him to mention a late wife. She hadn’t brought up any of
her past relationships. Well, other than hair shirt guy…and
Roger…and Jerry. A previous marriage was a big deal. On the other
hand, she wasn’t sure if he was calling to apologize or explain, or
more. Hopefully more. But hope was still on probation. “It’s
just…why are you calling me?”

He sighed. “I don’t know. I probably
should know, shouldn’t I?”

“Yes.”

Neither of them spoke, and she
shifted anxiously…and waited…and waited…and….

No. And hell no.

This last decade should give her
some edge over that romantic idealist version of her. And she
deserved a clear in or out from him. Yes or no.

“Look, Daniel, I can’t leave my
heart out for you to decide if you’re interested. If it’s not the
right time for you, that’s fine. If you’re not interested in me,
that’s fine. Waiting around for you to decide on either of those
things just plain sucks.” And none of it was fine, but she’d force
it to be fine, or she’d keep saying it was fine until one of them
believed her.

“No, I am interested, and I think
that’s part of it.” He sighed. “I feel like a horrible person
saying this out loud. I feel more strongly about you than I did for
Nadia, but I also knew Nadia wasn’t going to live forever. I wonder
if I held back with her—and now it’s too late.”

She blinked and stared straight
ahead. She’d never expected to feel so crappy when someone told her
they were interested in her. It was so couched in his feelings for
his wife.
I like you better than my late wife, but now I know
it’s too late to feel all this with her, and I held back with her
and….
No version of her would get excited about that mixed
bag.

“I’m saying this all
wrong.”

She couldn’t disagree there. He
wasn’t saying it right. Thus far, his words were like taking a
soccer ball straight to the gut. There were wounds you couldn’t
just rub some dirt on and make them fine.

“I’m sorry if being around me makes
you feel guilty about how you felt about your wife.” She clenched
her teeth and blinked furiously. “That’s not my fault, though.” Her
voice cracked just a bit at the end, but hopefully he hadn’t heard
that.

“It’s not. I’m sorry. I’m just
struggling to know how I want to feel about all this—which sounds
like gibberish when I say it.”

She shook her head, even though he
couldn’t see it. “I don’t think you’re ready to start dating…and I
just don’t…. I just can’t….” She couldn’t be the one to get her
heart sent through the shredder. She didn’t deserve it.
Self-preservation.

“Lauren, please don’t hang up.
Please.”

“Yes?” She was at the edge of a
cliff. One more wrong word, and she’d give up.

“I want to be ready, and I want to
date you. I think the fact that you make me want so much and you
make me feel so alive…is what scares me and has me doubting things.
I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you.”

Well, that was better, but…it was
just so much work. Was she lazy for wishing things were easier and
simpler?

Maybe.

Gutless?

Sure.

Could it be worth it?

She swallowed. If she walked away
from this chance, she’d never forgive herself, and she’d measure
every relationship up against what this could have been. Some
things were worth it.

“Okay,” she said.

“I want to go to the Halloween party
with you. Am I still invited?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll be a zombie if you’ll give me
a second chance.”

She smiled. “If I had a nickel for
every time a guy said that.” She settled back against the couch
cushions. Sometimes things came back from the dead. Zombies. Her
love life.

Four Days Later

“He’s meeting me here,” Lauren told
her friend Melissa as they set up for the party.

“You really like this guy, huh?”
Melissa set out a tray of cookies. “I asked someone to bring a
veggie tray, but I don’t know why. The only one who eats healthy is
you—and maybe your guy. The rest of us will just hoover this plate
of cookies in the first five minutes, and I’ll have to break out my
emergency Oreos.”

“I do like him, but…is this all the
cookies?” There were around six dozen, but Melissa wasn’t kidding
about the group’s sweet tooth.

“No, this is what I’m in charge of.
Everyone else is bringing something too.”

“Why didn’t you ask me to bring
something?”

Melissa blushed. “We all kind of
wondered if you’d have enough on your plate scrambling for a date
so you wouldn’t be embarrassed after the big stink you threw about
Tammy.”

“Tammy kept complaining every five
seconds about how miserable she was because she was alone. I’ve
never complained.”

Melissa looked up and stared
pointedly. They were close enough that Melissa didn’t have to say
the words.

“I am miserable alone,” Lauren
admitted. “I just didn’t complain about it, and I did get a date
for tonight.”

“You did,” Melissa said. “Is he a
keeper?”

Lauren had been taping up fake
spider webs but she stopped and shrugged. “He is for me, but I’m
not sure if anything I feel is mutual.”

“Why?”

“It’s complicated.”

She wasn’t ready to talk about all
the ways it was complicated. At least he’d wanted to come to this
still.

The doorbell rang and kept ringing
every few minutes for a half an hour. Just when she was losing
hope…again, a zombie showed up—a zombie who was the right height
and looked awkwardly at the group that turned to stare whenever the
doorbell rang.

Daniel raised his hand in greeting.
“Hi, I’m looking for brains but I think I’ve got the wrong
house.”

Everyone laughed and went back to
talking as she made her way to his side.

“Ahh…this is more like it,” he said
when he saw her.

“Yeah, I’m the only one with brains
in this whole place.” She took him around and introduced him, but
then dragged him onto Melissa’s back porch with a cup of apple
cider and plates of goodies. As Melissa predicted, her plate was
full of mostly veggies, but so was Daniel’s.

“I’m glad you came,” she said,
sitting down on the porch swing. The sun was setting, but the
cloudless sky meant there was the nip of fall in the air. She slid
closer to him while trying not to seem overly eager. She was. And
she was getting her hopes up again. She had no self-preservation
skills.

“I’m glad I came too. Sorry I was
late. My dog escaped and came home with the matching shoe to his
previous find—and he was followed by a pissed-off shoe owner. I had
to make peace and throw money at him. My dog has expensive taste in
chew toys.” He reached out and touched her cheek. “You look great.
This peeling skin is vile. I like it.”

“I know. I bought this kit, and it
took a while to put on, but I think it was worth it.”

“You look dead. I look like a tired
mime in comparison.”

She laughed. He was undervaluing his
look, but the flesh-peeling makeup really did look authentic. Every
time she’d caught sight of herself in a mirror, she’d cringed. “I’m
a little afraid it’ll peel off, and I’ll accidentally eat my
face.”

“That would be even more authentic.”
He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “I’m glad you gave me
a second chance. I…should have said things better
before.”

She glanced down at her food and
dipped a carrot in ranch dressing as if it was a complex process.
“I wasn’t sure you wanted a second chance.”

One of her hands was on the swing
beside her, and he slid his hand to cover it. “I did. I do. I’m
just….” He sighed. “I’m just stumbling with words for someone who
has hopes of being a writer. Nadia and I met in high school, and
she knew even then that chances were she wouldn’t see thirty. Her
heart couldn’t take much strain so everything between us was quiet
and careful. Excitement could kill her.” He picked up her hand and
held it between both of his, playing with her fingers. “When you
and I were in the haunted house—“

His smile told her what specific
time he was referring to, and her heart picked up its pace. Yeah.
That. That was amazing.

“I’ve never felt anything like that.
It was amazing. I didn’t know it could feel like that.”

Licking her lips, she asked, “Are
you sure that it wasn’t just maybe the novelty?” It was hard enough
to know she was the rebound girl, but maybe she could be anyone,
and he’d feel this way.

“No, it was you. Well, it was us.
We’re amazing together.”

She nodded. They were. So amazing.
Electric. She’d never felt so alive—which made the crash after that
much harder.

“I’m serious. Maybe you’re used to
such things, but I felt like I was going to explode—in a good
way.”

Lauren met his gaze. “I’m not used
to that either.”

Reaching out, he tucked a strand of
hair behind her ear. “I think I’m ready to do more than write about
relationships.”

She raised her eyebrows.

“I told you I do some freelance
writing. I wrote this article not so long ago from scraps of stuff
sent to me by this psychology site’s experts. It got picked up by a
few dating sites and even this obscure little magazine bought it
from the company I work for. The title made it a shoe-in for
Halloween editions. Anyway, my byline listed me as a leading expert
in relationships. As I said, Nadia was my high school girlfriend,
so this would be my second attempt at relationships. Apparently it
doesn’t take much to be an expert in such things.”

Lauren winced. “It wouldn’t happen
to be an article about bringing your love life back from the dead,
would it?”

He grinned. “You read
it?”

“I may have been attempting to
follow your advice.” If this all fell apart again, at least she
could actually blame him. There was that.

He laughed ruefully. “Why wasn’t one
of the steps to forgive morons you meet in the fog?”

“Why wasn’t one of them to kiss as
many zombies as you can?”

He leaned in and kissed her. At
least he could take a hint.

It was almost as hot as in the
haunted house—up until some of her face make-up rubbed off and
dropped between them.

She’d had her hands on his
shoulders, and she could feel them shaking in silent laughter. She
laughed against his mouth, and they both pulled back from the
ruined romantic moment.

He held up the glob of fake skin
that was resting on his torn-up jeans. “I think you dropped some of
your face. I also think I messed up the title of that article. It
should have been how to bring your love life back with the
undead.”

Two Years Later

“Watching you walk to the door to
hand out candy is the highlight of my life,” Daniel said as Lauren
closed the door after another batch of
trick-or-treaters.