"Yeah, so you can quit trying to comfort the weeping widow," Cameron groused and managed a half-hearted glare. "I’m not dead yet."
Boston grinned, but the relief in his eyes nearly made Cam tear up again. What in the world had he done to his best friend?
As he opened his mouth to make some snide, probably sarcastically dry comment, Boston’s face suddenly filled with color. He sucked in a breath, blinking rapidly. "Jesus," he said, pressed a fisted hand to the center of his chest, and stared at Cameron as if he couldn’t believe his friend had actually survived. "You scared the shit out of me tonight, man."
Cameron’s chest constricted, making him cringe. Regret filled him to the brink. He licked his dry lips and said, "I hear I owe you thanks. You saved my life."
He lifted his hands; a look of extreme liberation washed over Boston as he stepped forward and gripped Cam’s fingers.
"Yeah, well, you can pay me back by buying me a new pair of shoes. You puked all over my favorites."
"You mean that ratty old brown pair you’ve had for ten years?" Cameron grinned. "Thank God. It was beyond time to retire them."
Boston shook his head, the skin around his eyes wrinkling with humor.
Cameron shifted his gaze past Boston and settled on Olivia. She must not have gone far whenever she’d left him. The family had still been able to contact her and let her know he was in the hospital.
Her tousled hair rose in a scattered mountainous mess. Still, she was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen.
She loved him. Whether he liked it or not, Olivia loved him. It was
an unconditional devotion, like what his parents felt for each other. Whether he pushed her away or not, she’d still love him. The insight was humbling and overwhelming, but he liked it.
And that was his decision-maker right there. Never truly having loved a woman before, never having felt the pressing need to keep her safe, Cameron knew he’d do anything for Olivia. He’d even fix himself to protect her.
"Livy," he whispered.
She jerked guiltily; her face drained of color. As his parents and Boston stepped aside and slowly started backing toward the separating curtain to give him privacy, Olivia cautiously shuffled forward as if she thought he was going to beat her now.
An unexpected surge of pleasure moved through him. She cared. She loved him so much, he altered the whole view he’d been taking on the entire situation. He no longer wanted to distance himself from her. He just wanted to be with her forever. And if he had to make himself right to do that, then by God, he would.
"Where’d you go?" he heard himself ask, not really caring but curious about the answer. He realized it was the wrong thing to say as soon as the panic entered her face. Shit, he hadn’t meant to make her think this was her fault. He lifted his hand, but she jerked back.
"I-I...Oh, God, Cameron. I’m so sorry. I’ll never leave again. I’m sorry."
He closed his eyes as his own words to Sienna repeated themselves through his head, the first time he’d gone away for the weekend to go camping with friends.
Forgive me, Sienna. I never meant to hurt you. I’ll never leave again
.
Cameron shook his head. "No, Livy. I didn’t mean it that way. I…" Hell. He what? He was blowing this. "I’m just glad you’re here." He saw new hope staring at him through the big blue eyes of his cupcake as he held out his hand again.
Their fingers gripped and held. Cameron had to assume the tight bond meant something. He sent her a smile.
"I went a little overboard tonight, huh?"
She sucked in a shuddering breath and wiped a trail of tears off her cheek with her free hand. His heart clenched. He could only do one thing to stop this. Well, two maybe. He could finish the annulment and get as far away from her as possible. But that no longer seemed possible. The other option, however…
"God, I’m sorry, Livy." He clutched her fingers for dear life. "I’ll change. I’ll get better. I-I’ll go into rehab again. Whatever it takes. I didn’t mean to scare you. I love you too much to keep putting you through this."
"You love me?" she said, her blue eyes blinking.
He smiled. "I do. And I want to change. I want to get over this. So, if
I can do this, if I make it successfully through rehab, will you stay?"
"You love me?" she repeated, stark shock outlining her face.
He grinned. "Well, yeah."
"No one’s ever loved me before," she said, looking a little panicked by the thought as if a whole new world of overbearing responsibility had been plopped onto her shoulders.
"Don’t worry," he assured her. "I’ll take it easy on you for the first couple of months." Then he winked. "But after that, I’ll probably start laying it on a little thicker and, you know, getting really down and mushy with all the poetry and roses and serenading."
Olivia gurgled out a laugh at his corny attempt to make a joke. "Oh, Cameron," she said falling suddenly serious. "I love you too."
Bending, she wrapped her arms around his chest and laid her head on over his heart. Contentment roared through him. Cameron sifted his fingers through her long mass of bed-tangled hair. Closing his eyes, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
"I never wanted to leave," she confessed, her voice muffled against his thin hospital gown.
"Then why did you?"
She lifted her face and sent him a slightly annoyed look. "You started the annulment papers."
He frowned. "Only because you told me to."
"Yeah, and I only told you to, to get you to confess you loved me."
"Well, I do love you."
"Then I’ll come back," she returned in a snippety tone. "If you make it successfully through rehab," she added on an afterthought. "And under one condition."
His stomach tightened into knots. "What’s that?"
"You have to drop the annulment papers."
The grin that spread through him was instantaneous. He glanced toward the curtain where he could see his family’s silhouette lingering on the other side. "Bos?"
Boston’s face appeared around the side. He smiled approvingly even as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket. "I’m already on it."
Epilogue
One Year Later
Cameron tried not to fidget as he waited in the air-conditioned room. When he noticed his knee jiggling, he immediately stopped the action by slapping his hand over it. He didn’t want to be nervous over one silly conference.
During his first month of rehabilitation, he’d stayed at the center exclusively and been stuffed with a 'relaxing' atmosphere: pretty little walks along a sunset beach or meditation gardens, total-body massages, spas.
He’d never been so relieved to get out there. But that had only been the beginning of his torture. After checking out of the clinic, there’d been counseling and support groups.
He’d been coming here every week for a year now. But if he failed the test today, he’d have to keep coming back. And there surely had to be some kind of test behind this whole 'meeting'. Last week, his doctor had said, "If things go well next time, it should be your last appointment with me."
Freaked out by wondering what 'things' were supposed to happen today, he was about to surge to his feet to pace when the door opened. Cam lurched to his feet anyway.
His doctor had an oriental face with a trace of the Bronx in his accent. "How’s it going, Banks?"
Awful. Crappy. Miserable. He so wanted out of this joint.
"Fine," Cam answered on a tense smile. "Just fine."
"Well, congrats, bud." Dr. Chin strode around his desk as he studied an opened file. Once he seated himself, he set it down and lifted his face. "This is our last scheduled session together. You feel ready to break free or what?"
Cam almost snorted. Was he ready? The perfunctory nod he gave totally under-stressed his answer in so many ways.
Away from this room, he felt completely better, completely healed. Life was perfect in every way, and it felt unnatural to even need a therapist. Only when he returned for his weekly session was he reminded there’d ever been a problem.
Finally seating himself again, he murmured, "No offence, but it wouldn’t break my heart if I never laid eyes on you again, Doc."
Dr. Chin chuckled and gave a nod of understanding. "Oh, yeah, I gotcha. But, seriously, Cam," he asked his most common, weekly question, "you have any more urges to pound a couple down?"
Cameron shook his head without even a pause. Nope. Not even. At first, that realization actually shocked him. After getting out of the hospital all those months ago, he’d gone into rehab for thirty days, but he hadn’t craved a drink even then. He’d spent most of the time impatiently waiting and pacing to get out and back to Olivia. He’d even gotten through the anniversary of Sienna’s death without sipping a drop. And truth be told, he’d forgotten the date until a month after it had passed.
"No," he answered, staring his doctor dead in the eye.
Looking pleased by his answer, the doctor nodded. "So, now that you’re a free man, what’re you looking forward the most once you get home today?"
Well, that was an easy one. "Sex with my wife."
"Cameron!" Olivia gasped and slugged him in the arm.
He glanced to his right with a devilish grin. But when he saw her sitting beside him, much as she’d done every week for the past fifty-two, love slammed hard against his ribcage. It still amazed him she’d stayed and bothered to stick by him through his recovery. But here she sat, as beautiful and sexy as ever. And all his.
"Well, it is," he argued. "I can’t lie to my doctor, Livy." Dropping his voice, he leaned confidentially closer and whispered, "He’ll know if I don’t tell the truth."
From his chair, Dr. Chin chuckled. "I take it the marriage is still a go then."
Cam glowered at him, not amused by the dry crack. "Yes, the marriage is still a go."
Steepling his fingers and looking way too amused, the doctor asked, "So you’ve finally told her how you feel about her then?" Cam shifted uncomfortably, not sure what he meant; he felt Olivia edge closer, felt her eyes on him, anxious for his response.
"How’d this get flipped around to our marriage?" he mumbled, turning defensive. "Aren’t we supposed to talk about drinking and depression?"
"We’re supposed to talk about your well-being," Dr. Chin corrected. "And since drinking and depression no longer seems to be an issue for you, that just leaves…" He glanced meaningfully toward Olivia.
Cameron took instant offence. "Hey, now," he growled, snagging her hand and tugging her close. She huddled against him as if she feared Dr. Chin would physically rip her away. "Don’t attack my wife. Livy didn’t do anything wrong. She—"
"Whoa, whoa," Dr. Chin held up both hands, laughing the entire time. "That’s not what I mean, Banks. I was just trying to get you to tell her you love her. Have you ever told her that?"
"Uhh…" Feeling blank, Cam glanced into Olivia’s wide, blue eyes.
Had he told her loved her? What the hell kind of question was that? And when had Dr. Chin turned into Dr. Phil?
"Maybe now would be a good time to do that," Chin murmured encouragingly.
Arching a curious eyebrow at the doctor, Cam asked, "In front of you?"
His doctor shrugged. "Sure, why not?"