As they approached the wall, there was a shout and people started chanting and singing. There were yells and jeers, and then they were among the protesters.
A
STRIN
FOUND
himself alone in a sea of faces, none of which he recognized, and he started to panic.
For the first time, he wished with all his heart they’d never come. He was in serious danger of completely losing it, floating directionless in a sea of bodies, blinded by the laser beams and deafened by the roar of the crowd.
Suddenly he saw the horses again, the soldiers, and he panicked even more. He turned to run and Rowan was there. Desperately he threw himself into Rowan’s arms, clinging to him like a drowning man to a buoy.
“Hey… hey, it’s okay. It’s all right. I’m here. Don’t be scared. I’m here now. Didn’t I say I was going to look after you? It’s going to be all right, I swear. Come on. Hold my hand. Be strong.”
Astrin was still trembling with fear, but he felt Rowan’s strong hand in his and it gave him strength, grounded him. He attempted a smile but was only partially successful. There was a great temptation to reach out to the people around them, to make them feel peaceful, to bring calm to the chaos… but that would be suicide.
And then they were breaking out into the open space in front of the gates. The horses charged and everywhere there was chaos—even worse. Astrin saw the soldiers dragging away a protester. Rowan shouted and ran toward them, trying to wrest the soldiers away from the now limp form. Astrin stood frozen until the soldier raised his gun and, in an almost offhanded way, pointed it at Rowan and fired.
Pulling his own weapon, Astrin screamed and ran forward. He took down the soldier who had shot Rowan before there was a bright flash of light, a roaring sound in his ears, and an explosion of pain across his back. Then there was nothing.
P
RISONERS
A
STRIN
OPENED
his eyes slowly to a world of pain. His head pounded and his body ached, but as far as he could tell, he was in one piece. At least he was alive. He tried to sit up, then groaned as pain exploded in his head and across his back, which seemed to be crawling with tongues of flame. Gentle hands pressed him down and something cool stroked his forehead.
“Hush now. Lie still for a few minutes, and you’ll feel much better. Those blasters are awful.”
“Neive?”
“None other, my darling. Now you just lie still.”
Astrin relaxed, giving in to the pleasure of her gentle touch. Then a memory burst on him, far more painfully than the previous agony.
“Rowan,” he gasped, trying to sit up again.
“Easy now,” Neive said, pushing him back. “You’ll pass out again if you don’t rest until the effects of the blast wear off. Just lie back, and you’ll be fine in a while. Rowan’s here. He’s safe… but you might want to think twice before you shout out his name again.”
“Is he all right?”
“He… he’s going to be fine.”
Catching the hesitancy in her tone, Astrin opened his eyes and grabbed her hand. “Where is he? What’s wrong?”
“Hush now. I told you, he’s here. Nothing’s wrong. He took a blast in the chest at close range, so he’s worse than you, but he’s going to be all right.”
“I’m a healer. Let me go to him.”
“Heal yourself first.”
“I can’t.”
“What good would you be to him if you pass out before you get there? Now calm down and take it easy. Can you sit up without losing the contents of your stomach?”
Taking a deep breath and gritting his teeth, Astrin sat up. Pain stabbed through his head, but the burning fire in his back was calming down. He did feel somewhat nauseated, but it was controllable. He nodded at Neive.
“I’m all right.”
“Be careful now. Take a minute, or as soon as you stand up you’ll fall down.”
Obeying her, Astrin leaned against the wall and took time to look around. They were in a large room with stone walls and no windows. There were about twenty people, standing, sitting on wooden benches, or lying, either on the floor or on the stone ledges that stretched along one wall of the prison. Most of the people who were sitting or standing looked shaky and ill, having presumably suffered the same fate as he and Rowan.
His eyes scanned the room automatically, searching, but he couldn’t see Rowan.
“Where is he?”
“Why is it so important that you find him? You know he’s here. You know he’s safe.”
“He’s my friend.”
“Really?”
Astrin looked at Neive, a strange feeling worming in his stomach. What was she talking about? What did she know?
“Of course he’s my friend. We’ve been through a lot together.”
“It’s not how he sees it.”
“What do you know about how he sees it?”
“I have eyes, Astrin, and so do you. And I haven’t forgotten our last conversation.”
“He… he told me.”
“He did? Then I’m proud of him. It was hurting him. What did you say?”
Astrin laughed shortly and ran a shaking hand through his hair. “I told him not to talk about it. I get that he needed to tell me given… well, this.” He gestured around with his hand, hardly able to believe he was actually talking about this with a stranger. “He told me he didn’t expect anything from me, and we left it at that.”
“That was a very brave thing for him to do and to say.”
“Yes, I suppose it was.”
“How do you feel about it now?”
Astrin looked at her and shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“An honest answer. The same one you gave me last time, if I remember correctly. But be careful.”
“Careful?”
“Fear takes us in many ways. Sometimes it makes us freeze when faced with danger. Sometimes it gives us the adrenaline boost we need to get out of it. And sometimes it blinds us to what is really there, what we really think and feel.”
“Why do you care?”
Neive smiled and shrugged. “Ah, well… perhaps I have experience of what fear can do in these circumstances, and I don’t want anyone else to experience what I went through. Perhaps I’m being brave for you.”
Astrin stared at her; then he mirrored her smile. “I’ll think about what you said.”
“Don’t think too long, Astrin. Be honest. Be honest with yourself, and be honest with him too. It would be better for him to be hurt cleanly now than to be hurt every day of his life, when there is still hope to torture himself with. Just make sure you speak with honesty, not fear—or it will be you who goes on hurting.”
“I….” Astrin had no words, so he shook his head and turned, sliding his legs over the side of the shelf to touch the floor. Surprisingly, apart from a pounding headache, he didn’t feel too bad now, and when Neive helped him to his feet, he was fairly steady and strong.
“There you go. I knew that if you took it slowly, you’d be fine. You’re a strong boy.”
“I… thank you. Where’s Rowan?”
“Honey, we’re in a fifty-foot-square stone box. There aren’t many places he could be.”
Neive led him through the bodies to the far corner. As soon as he saw Rowan, Astrin’s heart gave a flip. He glanced at Neive. She cocked a brow at him. Shaking his head, he knelt beside Rowan, who was lying on the floor with his head resting on a rolled-up sweater. Kal was kneeling on the other side, a distressed look on his face. He looked up at Astrin.
“They tell me he was trying to help me. He attacked a guard because they were hurting me.”
“It was you, then.”
“Did you see it?”
“Yes.” Astrin couldn’t look at him. He had eyes only for Rowan, who was so very still.
“Was it you who shot the guard?”
“Yes… then they got me from behind. I never really had a chance, I just… I couldn’t bear….” He looked up and something seemed to twist inside him. “I think I went slightly mad in that moment. It was crazy to shoot a guard. I suppose I’m lucky they haven’t dragged me off to the torture chambers, but when I saw him shoot Rowan, I just couldn’t help myself. I
had
to do something, and I really, really wanted to hurt him.”
Kal grinned. “Well… if he feels anything like I did when I woke up, you certainly succeeded in that. He’s probably cursing the hell out of you just about now.”
Astrin frowned. “I hope he doesn’t come looking for me.”
“Don’t worry. We won’t let him get you.”
“It’s not as if you can do anything about it, is it?”
“You think? Give me your jacket.”
“What?”
“Give me your jacket.” Puzzled, Astrin complied. Of course the bandolier was gone and the weapons too. The money belt was still there, though; he could feel it when he moved.
“Raoul,” Kal called to another young man with jet-black hair and dark skin. Raoul grinned, showing very white teeth.
“Put this on and give him yours.”
Still grinning, Raoul complied, and Astrin began to see what Kal was up to. Kal scanned the room and called another, older man over who was more than happy to switch trousers. Kal then looked thoughtfully at Astrin’s hair.
“There’s not much we can do about that. It’s very distinctive. Maybe you should wear a hat.”
“And maybe they won’t make us take it off?”
“You could cut it.”
“How? I think it is highly unlikely any of us will have been left with a knife.”
“Good point.”
“Here.” Astrin jumped, not having heard Neive come up behind him. She handed him a small bottle.
“What’s this?” He took out the stopper and sniffed suspiciously.
“No, don’t drink it. It’s berry juice. Here.” She handed him a pair of leather gloves. “Put these on and rub it into your hair. Don’t get any on your skin.”
Astrin stared at her uncomprehendingly, so she sighed, pulling on the gloves and taking the bottle from his hands. He closed his eyes as she rubbed the juice into his hair.
By the time she was done, they had an audience and everyone was grinning. “You look strange, but that’s only because we know what you looked like before. Now, if they come looking for a blond boy wearing leather, they won’t find him. Of course, if they look very closely, they’ll see the deception, but we must hope that they don’t look closely.”
Smiling his thanks, Astrin turned back to Rowan, who, he was concerned to note, had not moved while all this had been going on. Everyone else was now on their feet, and Astrin could not help but feel the bite of fear as he looked down at his… friend.
Rowan’s face was very pale, with a blueish tinge around his mouth. He was breathing raggedly, and when Astrin placed his hand on his chest he could feel an erratic heartbeat. With a sinking feeling, Astrin realized that the blast in the chest, at such close range, had affected Rowan’s heart, sending it into an irregular pattern of beats. Already Astrin could feel a certain hesitation at times, a sign that the strain of the irregularity was becoming too much.
Sitting back on his heels, Astrin closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“Be careful, Astrin.”
Startled out of his trance, Astrin looked up, angry at the interruption. Neive nodded reassuringly. “They will be scanning us and any large expression of energy will have them in here in seconds. You cannot give yourself away now. It would be suicide.”
Astrin looked down at Rowan. “His heart’s affected. If I don’t help him, he’ll die.”
“Then you have to do what you have to do. But be careful… be very careful, or you will put not only yourself in danger but both your Houses too. You will destroy the lives of millions of people.”
“I….” Astrin was torn in a way he’d never been torn before. He knew what Neive said was true, that he had to put the greater good above Rowan or anyone else—but it was hard, so hard. Rowan was here, and they were not. Rowan was… he needed him. Astrin looked down at the still form, taking in every inch, every flicker, remembering the expressions that flowed constantly across Rowan’s face, the tone of his voice, the playfulness, the seriousness. And he remembered what Rowan had told him earlier that day.
Hell, was that only a few hours ago?
The decision made itself, and he closed his eyes, centering himself. Very carefully, he drew upon his natural energy, just enough. No one would be able to sense it while it was still inside him, and he could draw up as much as he wanted. It was how it was
released
that would make all the difference.
When he was ready, he leaned forward and laid both hands on Rowan’s chest. Reaching out with his mind, rather than concentrate on the heart and its erratic beat, he traced the flow of energy through Rowan’s body and found the place where it had been interrupted by the energy blast. Astrin carefully allowed his own healing energy to slip into Rowan’s body at the same time as his water manipulating ability took charge of and controlled the flow of blood through the damaged channels. Using as little energy as he possibly could, he loosened the blockage, sealed the ruptures, and opened the channels, until the picture in his head showed that the energy channels were bright and clear and his hands told him Rowan’s heart was beating strong and steady.
Withdrawing his energy, Astrin sighed and opened his eyes. This time he didn’t feel drained in any way since he had used so little energy and had been so controlled in its use.
“Is everything all right?” Neive asked anxiously.
“It’s done.”
“That was amazing. There was barely a ripple. You used no more energy than any one of us would be capable of.”
“I was careful.” Astrin wasn’t really listening to her; he was too focused on Rowan. If he had, he might have wondered how Neive could know how much energy he’d expended. That was far beyond most people, and those who were capable of such things were usually in the service of a House.
Color gradually came back to Rowan’s face and the blueness faded. He was breathing more easily now, and Astrin was too.
“Rowan,” he called softly as he laid his hand on Rowan’s chest, feeling the strong, reassuring heartbeat below. Rowan sighed and stirred. Only then did Astrin relax.