Free of the covers, Rowan felt cooler and paused to look down at Astrin. His hair was all over the place, and he was sound asleep, breathing deeply with a half-smile on his face. A vague disquiet squirmed in Rowan’s mind. Something had happened. He didn’t remember going to bed. He certainly didn’t remember getting naked, and he was sure he’d have remembered that. Something had definitely happened.
It was frustrating, not being able to remember. He had more sympathy for Astrin now. What must it feel like to not remember anything?
Not worrying about being seen in such a remote place, Rowan got out of the car and stretched in the warm sunshine. His body felt good, although for some reason his shoulder was stiff. He must have slept awkwardly on it. Easing the muscles, he stretched again, and it felt better.
The morning sun and a cool breeze caressed his naked body, and he sighed, tilting his face up to bathe in the warm sunlight that kissed him gently. Kissed him.
Something stabbed in his mind, something about last night. Without conscious thought, his hand went to his shoulder and then to his head, feeling the stiffness in his hair. Then everything came flooding back, and he hurried back to the car. Astrin hadn’t moved.
Climbing into the car, Rowan felt… strange. He was very conscious he was naked, so he took a moment to pull on his trousers and T-shirt before he slid in beside Astrin and shook him gently. He didn’t stir.
“Astrin, are you okay? Astrin, wake up.” There was nothing, no flicker of awareness at all. “Astrin, are you all right? Astrin, wake up. Wake up.”
Shaking him more urgently, Rowan was rewarded with a sigh and sleepy moan.
Astrin’s eyes fluttered open, unfocused. “Too… much energy…. I… tired…. Need… sleep.” Rowan had to lean in close to hear the words.
“Are you all right, though? You’re going to be okay?”
Astrin licked his lips and swallowed, closing his eyes with a sigh. “Okay… sleep.”
“Wait.”
With obviously great effort, Astrin opened his eyes, although Rowan wasn’t sure he actually saw him.
“Last night. Something happened. I…. Did I…? Did you…?”
He was too late. Astrin slipped into sleep again, and this time Rowan didn’t wake him. Instead he allowed his gaze to linger on Astrin’s face as he stroked the hair out of his eyes, tucked the sleeping bag around him, closed the door, and carefully drove out of the campsite, looking over his shoulder every time he went over a bump.
L
EARNING
L
IMITS
AND
S
EEING
W
HEN
A
STRIN
woke he was confused and disoriented. He lay with his eyes closed and tried to get his bearings. The space around him seemed too big, and he was definitely not lying on a car floor. Neither was he covered by a sleeping bag. Disliking the sense of disorientation, he cracked his eyes open to find he was lying on a bed in a large and very beautiful room. The room was empty.
Stretching and yawning, Astrin realized he was hungry and smiled. If Rowan were here, no doubt he’d tease him about that. The smile faded. Rowan.
Getting out of bed, Astrin wandered over to the window and opened the curtains. Light flooded in, making him blink. When his eyes got used to the light, he gasped—the view was breathtaking. From where it overlooked the bay, it seemed almost as if the house were floating, suspended above the water, as well as the neat lawns that sloped gently downward until they came to an abrupt end.
The windows were floor-to-ceiling, opening onto a balcony. He was about to step out when he realized he was completely naked.
Ah
. Memories of the previous night, if it were only last night, squirmed their way uncomfortably into his mind, and he groaned out loud. Had he really done that?
Argh
. And who’d brought him here?
Argh.
Blushing, even though there was no one to see him, Astrin reluctantly turned away from the window. Looking around he spotted a door and found the bathroom. It was almost as big as the bedroom, beautifully decorated in blue and white. He gazed longingly at the large, white enamel bathtub, but he had no idea what time it was or how long he had before they had to leave, so he reluctantly opted for a shower. Still, it was glorious to let the water run over his tired body and to rub soap into his sticky hair.
While he was in the shower, he was scared half out of his mind when a voice seemed to speak close to his ear.
“What have you been up to? I have been worried half to death.”
“What do you mean?”
he replied.
“I felt the energy even here, Astrin. It was completely uncontrolled, and it hurt me. I had no idea what it had done to you. Then the connection was broken and….”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I didn’t think.”
“You have to be careful, Astrin, my darling. Unleashing that kind of energy carelessly could hurt not only you but also the person you are trying to help.”
“I said I’m sorry. I didn’t even know I could do that. It was Rowan. He was hurt. I… I was afraid he was slipping away, so I… I just reacted. I didn’t think. I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“I accept that—the first time, but then you did it again, and the second time was even worse.”
“I was half out of it. I was… confused. I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“Well, now you do. You have to be more careful in the future. You were already weakened, and you could have really hurt yourself.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll try not to do it again.”
“No, Astrin, not ‘try.’ You have to get this under control, because if this happens again when you are not in a safe place—”
“I get it, okay. I’ll be more careful.”
“No, you don’t ‘get it,’ Astrin. Do you have any idea what could have happened to you? What could have happened to Rowan?”
“I know what could have happened to Rowan, Mother. He could have died. He was dying, I know it.”
“I have no doubt, from the amount of energy he took, that he was seriously hurt, and he may well have been dying, but you could have healed him enough to save his life and let others finish the job.”
“I could have… if I’d known what I was doing. I didn’t even know I was able to do it, let alone control it. It was a complete accident. Rowan was there, and he was… and I… I had to do something, and the next minute I was…. It wasn’t something I thought about.”
“Next time, think about it.”
“I promise. I just don’t see what the fuss is about. Rowan was hurt, so I healed him. I’m fine, and he’s fine. It all turned out okay, so what’s the problem?”
“Problem? Astrin….”
Astrin experienced the strange sensation of feeling his mother sigh. He was sure she was rolling her eyes.
“For one thing, the very fact you’re alive is something of a miracle. You could so easily have burned out, injured yourself beyond repair. For another, you could have hurt Rowan badly, burned him, even damaged his mind. Healing is not easy, not simply about throwing everything you have at it and hoping for the best. You have to do it in a controlled way or not at all. You will remember this eventually. You will be able to do it consciously and carefully. You have been well trained but… darling, promise me you won’t do it again until you have fully regained your memories.”
“I—I promise. I wouldn’t have done it this time if I’d known how dangerous it was. It seemed… it just seemed right.”
“Why did you do it twice? Your energy was so depleted. I was trying to get through to you to find out what happened, to find out where you were. I barely managed to link with you, and suddenly you blasted it out again, so I got the backlash. Was Rowan ill again?”
“No… not exactly.”
“Then why? Surely you must have realized by then, from what it did to you the first time, that it wasn’t good for you. You were so weak.”
“That’s the point. I was weak. He woke me up, and I didn’t really know where I was, and… something happened.”
“What happened?”
Her voice lashed him, making him wince at the memory. There was no way he was going to talk about that, not to his mother.
“I don’t know. I was half-asleep, confused. It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“It was a terrible idea, Astrin. You almost killed yourself.”
“But I didn’t. I’m fine. It’s over, and I won’t do it again.”
An entirely different discomfort was churning in his stomach as memories began to unfold. Shivering, he slid to the floor and hugged his knees, resting his head on them as the veil that had been drawn over his memories was not only drawn aside but ripped to shreds. He groaned aloud.
“Astrin, Astrin, what’s happening? Are you all right? Astrin, if you don’t answer me, I am going to summon help. Astrin, speak to me.”
“I… I’m all right. I just… my memory.”
“What’s happening? I feel chaos and confusion. What’s going on?”
“Mother, stop probing me—it’s painful. I’m all right. My memory just came back—all in one go. It’s a bit disorienting. Can’t I have some time to myself, to get things sorted out?”
“Of course, dear. How wonderful. I was so worried something like this could happen again.”
“Mother, please. I can’t help thinking you are making way too much out of this. It was an innocent mistake. I’ve learned my lesson, and I won’t do it again. At least it got me my memory back.”
“And now perhaps you’ll realize why I am so worried, why I am ‘making so much out of this.’”
Astrin thought for a moment.
“I’m sorry, Mother. I know I was foolish… and very lucky.”
The caress of his mother’s mind was gentle this time and soothed his aching head.
“I was very worried about you. Do you have any idea how long you have been unconscious?”
“Less than a day. It was only last night… wasn’t it?”
“It was almost three days ago.”
“Gods! Oh hell. Three days? We have to get out of here. We have to get moving. We don’t have much time.”
“Astrin, calm down. Rowan has it under control. It will be fine. Just relax and take care of yourself. How are you feeling?”
“Apart from a blinding headache from my memories coming back, I’m fine. In fact, I feel better than I have in a long time.”
“That’s because proper healers have been working on you.”
“I
am
a proper healer. At least now that I know what I’m doing again.”
“Good.”
“Is Rowan all right?”
There was a pause before his mother replied, which made him a little uneasy.
“Rowan is fine. The healers looked at him too, and somehow you managed to do an excellent job of healing him. That’s probably why you took such a hit yourself. Something in you knew how to protect him.”
The relief was palpable, and must have shown in his “voice,” even though, in retrospect, he would have preferred if it hadn’t.
“Thank the gods.”
“Astrin, there is something I wanted to….”
“I don’t have time. I have to get dressed and get out of here. We’re wasting time we haven’t got.”
“All right, but when you get back, I am going to have a talk with you.”
“Yes, Mother.”
“Be careful, Astrin.”
“It’s all right. I remember now.”
“That eases my mind a little.”
“Thanks for the confidence in my abilities.”
“I have every confidence in your abilities, but I am, first and foremost, a mother, dear, and mothers worry.”
“Then worry if you want, but I am going to be fine, we both are.”
Again that hesitation.
“Make sure you keep me informed.”
“I’ll try, but it’s going to get exciting from here, so forgive me if it slips my mind—and Mother….”
“Yes, dear?”
“Don’t hijack my mind again. It might be on other things. Remember, it’s polite to knock first.”
For a while Astrin sat on the floor of the shower, with the warm water still falling on him, and struggled with the memories that had flowed back into his consciousness. A lot of things made sense now, but some things didn’t… they didn’t make sense at all.
When he finally went back into the bedroom, he found a suit of clothes laid out on a chair. They were versatile, traveling clothes, carefully devoid of any identifying mark. He picked up the leather trousers and wondered at how soft they were.
As well as the trousers, there were a sleeveless black vest; a white linen shirt, laced to the waist; a long, leather double-breasted jacket with a decorated wing collar; and a bandolier belt that held his long knife and gun on clear display.
When he’d finished dressing, he pulled on boots that buckled to the knee, then looked at himself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror. He barely recognized himself. He looked strong and mean, like he meant business. Then he spoiled the image by letting a goofy smile spread over his face. It made him look like a kid again. He was going to have to watch out for that in the South. A smile like that could get him into serious trouble.
The thought brought a thrill of fear. He’d only been to the South a couple of times, on diplomatic missions with his father. From the vision he’d had, the captives had been taken to the main palace complex, probably to a prison area somewhere inside the walls. He knew from experience that it wouldn’t be easy to get inside; it hadn’t been easy even when they were guests.