Hopelessly Devoted to Holden Finn (30 page)

‘We thought it would save disturbing the baby if we brought the tea in here,’ Jeanie explained.

Bonnie nodded and smiled.

‘You’re being so kind,’ Lauren said, her eyes filling with tears again. ‘I thought you’d go mental when you found me here.’

‘Nonsense,’ Jeanie said, ‘it’s not your fault. We should be making voodoo dolls of that bastard and sticking pins in it together, all four of us.’

‘If you thought that, why didn’t you run off when Henri left?’ Bonnie asked Lauren curiously. ‘Why not get out before I arrived home?’

Lauren glanced at Paige. ‘Your daughter was so upset… And… well, she’s Zach’s sister really, isn’t she? I suppose I thought that maybe, if we could work things out, they could get to know each other one day… I don’t have much in the way of family myself…’

Bonnie and Jeanie both turned to Paige, who was still standing at the living room door. The ghost of a smile played about her lips. ‘I never thought about it like that,’ she said quietly. ‘I suppose I have a brother.’

‘What do you think?’ Bonnie asked.

Paige’s smile spread a little. ‘I’m not sure. I think it’s ok though.’

***

Bonnie and Paige spent Sunday together, crying, discussing, hugging, crying more and generally trying to understand what Henri had done to them. It seemed that Paige had finally learned the hardest lesson of her life so far, and one that Bonnie only wished hadn’t been taught in such a heartless and brutal way. Now, Paige understood
that people aren’t always what they seem, and that even those you trust can let you down.

They heard nothing from Henri, but this time, both Paige and Bonnie agreed that there was no need to chase him down. Lauren was keen that Paige and Zach shouldn’t lose touch, and Paige had even seemed hopeful and excited about the prospect of visiting them in York when Lauren had suggested it.

For the first time in two years, on Monday morning Bonnie rang work to tell Fred she was sick, and then phoned Paige’s school to tell them that she was sick too. They were glue for each other’s souls, and even after the entire Sunday together, Bonnie felt that they needed more time to mend what had broken. So she went out to the shops and bought as much terrible food as she could, and then got back into her pyjamas, pulled a mattress and duvet into the sitting room, where she and Paige lounged for the entire day, watching TV, eating sweets and talking until they were both hoarse. In a strange way, Bonnie felt a kind of deep contentment by the end of it all, and she sensed that Paige felt it too, as though their shared pain had brought them closer together.

Perhaps there would be a silver lining to this stinking great black storm cloud after all.

***

On Tuesday Bonnie was back at work. A worried Linda had called the flat on the previous evening, and Bonnie had filled her in on the details. By the time she had spent an hour on the phone, she was sick of hearing herself talk about Henri and what he had done.

When Bonnie arrived at Applejack’s, Linda had a big bunch of flowers and an even bigger hug waiting for her. Bonnie could not find the words to tell Linda how grateful she was that she still had some people who would never let her down. She thought about Lauren and Zach and only hoped they would be as lucky.

After Fred had read the riot act about Bonnie’s absence, which she took remarkably well in the circumstances, she went through to the stockroom to help Linda pull out the cold stock. In a strange way, it was good to see things settle down to normality, and Bonnie was almost looking forward to a dull week at work. Just as they were about to start, the knock came at the back door.

I’ll get it,’ Linda said, practically bouncing over to the door and yanking it open wide. ‘Hello stranger!’ Linda stepped back to reveal Max, grinning awkwardly.

‘I thought it was about time Rob stopped having all the fun and I got out a bit myself.’

Bonnie watched as Max came in and shook the rain from his hair. She didn’t speak – her heart was thumping too fast and too loudly.

‘This calls for a celebration cuppa,’ Linda said with a broad smile. ‘I might even crack open the biscuits.’

‘I have missed your tea, Lind.’ Max was speaking to Linda, but he never took his eyes off Bonnie.

‘Right…’ Linda said in a significant tone, ‘I’ll get the kettle on.’

As soon as she had gone into the kitchenette, Max spoke. ‘I heard about what happened,’ he said in a low voice.

‘Which bit?’ Bonnie asked, trying to ignore the fact that her heart was ready to burst at the sight of him. Despite how terribly she had missed him, the violence of her emotions now was a complete shock.

‘Henri’s little surprise package.’

‘Oh. I suppose Linda told you.’

‘She might have mentioned it on the phone last night.’

Bonnie threw a glance at the doorway where Linda was busying herself with teabags and mugs and trying to look as though she wasn’t listening.

‘I just wanted to see for myself that you were ok.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘Only… your last text…’

‘What text?’ Bonnie frowned.

‘You said you loved him. I suppose you’re pretty cut up now.’

Bonnie shook her head slowly, realisation suddenly dawning on her. ‘I’m beginning to realise what an idiot I am.’

‘Oh...’ Max replied, not knowing what else to say.

They were silent for a moment, the only sounds those of Fred grumbling loudly about something in the front of the shop and the kettle bubbling in the kitchen.

‘So… Henri has gone for good?’ Max asked finally.

‘Looks like it.’

‘You and Paige are ok with it, though?’

‘It’s hurt Paige. That was one lesson she could have been spared from. But I think that she understands now just what sort of a man he is.’

‘You wouldn’t have him back?’

‘No.’

Max smiled slightly. ‘What about Holden Finn?’

Bonnie couldn’t help a little laugh. ‘So you heard about that too.’

‘
Everyone
heard about that.’ He gave her a lopsided grin. For a moment, he looked like the old Max, the one who hadn’t had his heart pulled inside out by Bonnie and her mixed up life. She wished they could rewind time somehow and get back to when they were just like that – able to laugh and joke together with no awkwardness. She didn’t suppose things could ever go back to that now. Henri had gone, but perhaps the damage his reappearance had done to her and Max was beyond repair.

Linda came out and handed them both a mug. ‘Are you friends now?’ she asked with a devious grin.

‘Oh no… ‘Max said, stepping back from her and making the sign of a cross with his fingers ‘don’t you dare think about locking us in the fridge again.’

Linda laughed. ‘I wouldn’t use the same trick twice, I’m not that stupid.’

‘So you are planning something?’ Bonnie asked, trying to look stern but hardly able to keep the smile from her lips.

‘Maybe…’ Linda grinned.

Bonnie glanced at Max. She wondered how happy he would be if Linda
did
lock them in the fridge together. But he said no more on the subject, and simply put his cup on the bench before making for the back door.

‘I’d better move it; those carrots won’t bring themselves in.’

***

Bonnie wondered whether Max’s appearance at the shop was simply a one-off, and expected to see his surly assistant, Rob, back the following morning, but Max turned up again. Although he appeared to be his usual wise-cracking self, Bonnie could sense the tension that hummed in the air between them. Linda seemed to be watching them carefully too, but if Bonnie and Max expected her to step in and engineer some trick to get them back together, they were both to be disappointed. Whether she had decided that her interference last time had been ill-advised, or whether she just couldn’t be bothered again, she did nothing.

Weeks passed, and Christmas came and went. Max was a regular again and Bonnie felt a curious mix of embarrassment, awkwardness, affection and relief. Their relationship slowly began to transform and, although they didn’t share the easy banter that they had once done, it was getting close. As they closed the shop on Christmas Eve, Max rushed in with three bottles of wine, as he did every year, handing Fred and Linda theirs with a jovial greeting and Bonnie’s with an awkward, hopeful smile.

‘Happy Christmas, Bon,’ he said.

‘I didn’t get you anything,’ Bonnie replied, blushing a little.

Max shrugged. ‘Maybe next year, eh?’ he replied before hurrying out onto the windswept street.

Jeanie decided that she was going to move at the end of January so Bonnie and Paige spent a quiet Christmas with her, knowing that next year, everything would be different for the three of them, wherever they decided to spend it.

Lauren sent a Christmas gift box for Paige from Zach – a silver framed photo of him, a bottle of perfume and a nail varnish set – which Paige scowled at, though Bonnie could tell that she was secretly pleased. One morning shortly before Christmas, another parcel containing an anonymous gift arrived for both Bonnie and Paige – an incredibly expensive watch each. They both had a fairly good idea who had sent them, but neither of them said a word about it. So long as the gift didn’t come attached to a popstar boyfriend, Bonnie was happy with that. Not that it was likely – the last she had read in the papers, Holden was now dating a singer from an up-and-coming teen band called Love Note. Nothing arrived from Henri – not a card, not one solitary gift, not even a phone call to Paige. It was as though he had never been back at all. And Bonnie was pretty happy with that too.

Fifteen

It was a bright, frosty Tuesday morning in mid-January when Max knocked as he always did, but instead of his usual carefree demeanour, he wore a deep frown and seemed to be steadying himself against the doorframe. Bonnie clapped a hand over her mouth when she saw that he looked so ill he was almost grey.

‘What on earth are you doing working?’ she squeaked. ‘You look terrible.’

‘Someone’s got to do it,’ he said gruffly. ‘I’ll be ok, it’s just a stomach ache. Probably ate something dodgy last night.’

Bonnie stepped aside to let him in. ‘What did you eat last night?’

‘Toast.’

‘And?’

‘Just toast. I wasn’t hungry.’

‘That doesn’t sound very dodgy,’ Bonnie chided. ‘For God’s sake, come and sit down; me and Linda can get the stock off your van.’

‘No way,’ Max said, gently moving her arm from his. ‘I’m not having Fred on my case about his staff doing my work. I’m honestly fine.’

But the violent shudder that suddenly doubled him over told Bonnie that Max was far from fine.

‘Lind…’ Bonnie shouted. ‘Come and give me a hand…’

Linda emerged from the fridge, wiping her hands down her tabard. ‘God, Max,’ she gasped as her gaze settled on him, ‘what the hell were you drinking last night?’

Max gave her a weak smile. ‘I wish it was down to drink. I’ve had this stomach ache all morning. Went to bed ok and woke up at about four o’clock in agony.’

‘Have you been to the loo?’ Linda asked practically.

‘Yeah, thanks, nurse,’ Max replied, clutching at his abdomen as a film of sweat began to form on his brow. ‘I’ll be fine, I just need to get the deliveries done this morning and then I can go to bed and sleep it off.’ He gritted his teeth and stumbled against the wall. ‘Bloody hell!’ he shouted, doubling over again.

‘Max!’ Bonnie led him to the bench to sit. ‘You need to go home, right now.’

‘He needs to go to hospital,’ Linda said bluntly, ‘never mind home.’

Bonnie made him sit, real fear beginning to grip her as she faced Linda. ‘What do you think?’

Linda glanced at him. He now had his head almost on his knees, holding onto his stomach and groaning. ‘Appendix,’ Linda said. ‘I’d bet my life on it.’

Bonnie’s eyes widened. ‘Are you sure?’

‘John’s brother had it and he was exactly the same. You stay with him and I’ll phone the ambulance.’

Bonnie rubbed an awkward hand on Max’s damp back. It seemed such a pointless thing to do and was clearly giving him no comfort at all, but she had to do something. She was so rigid with fear that she could hardly think straight. Max was almost oblivious to her now as he groaned and clutched at his stomach, mumbling words to himself that made no sense at all.

‘Max,’ Bonnie whispered into his ear. ‘Max…’

There was no reply. She rubbed his back again, then stroked a hand over his burning forehead before kissing him gently on his damp cheek. ‘I can’t lose you now… not like this. You just tell that bloody appendix of yours to hold on for a bit longer because….’ Bonnie felt tears blurring her vision, but she wouldn’t let them fall. It was Max who should be crying now, not her. She swallowed hard. ‘I don’t want to lose you. If anything happens I’ll never forgive myself for not telling you what I should have told you a long time ago…’ Bonnie paused. ‘Max, you great daft dolt, I –’

‘Ambulance is on it’s way,’ Linda said, rushing in.

Bonnie sniffed back her tears and gave a strained smile. ‘That’s good. You told them to be quick?’

‘I told them to stop off at Tesco first to pick me a loaf up… Of course I told them to be quick!’ Linda snapped. She glanced at Max, who seemed to have become even worse in the last couple of minutes, and then back at Bonnie. ‘I think we’re going to need a miracle, though.’

***

Three long hours later, Max stirred and opened his eyes. The doctor who performed his surgery had told Bonnie that, under the circumstances, it had gone well, but the appendix had already burst when Max arrived at A&E. Another half an hour and he would have died. This meant the possibility of many post-surgery complications in the weeks to come. For now, Bonnie was content that he was alive, and her heart leapt
as his gaze flitted around the hospital room, as if trying to work out some complicated puzzle, before coming to rest on her.

‘Hello,’ she smiled.

He didn’t reply for a long time, but simply watched as she smoothed his hair from his forehead and stroked his hand. When there was still no sound from him, she busied herself pouring a glass of water, which she left in readiness on the cabinet beside his bed and then straightened out his sheets. It wasn’t that any of these things needed doing, but keeping occupied was the only way to stop herself from crying.