Read Hopeful Online

Authors: Shelley Shepard Gray

Hopeful (11 page)

“She was only four. He was especially protective of Kaylene, and she was the one his relatives wanted to take most of all. One day I was working at the Sugarcreek Inn and I heard him arguing with some cousins from Pennsylvania. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but their voices got loud. Anyway, I heard him say that he loved his sister, loved his family more than anything in the world. And that he would do anything he could to keep them all together. Even give up all his dreams.”

Miriam sighed, getting slightly choked up at the memory. “That was when I knew he was a really special person, Mary Kate. I understand why you’re not excited about being courted. But I will tell you that if you ever do change your mind, he would be worth it.”

“I’ll remember that, Miriam. Thank you. So, are we done arguing yet?”

“I’d like to be.”

“Me, too.” Gesturing toward her couch, Mary Kate asked, “Want to sit down and tell me about your day?”

“Only if you tell me about your day at school.”

Mary Kate chuckled. “Something did happen today that was kind of cute. Little Sammy Yoder brought in a pig’s tail today. And his pet lizard. Of course both got lost in the classroom.” She rolled her eyes. “That lizard created quite a ruckus, I’ll tell you that!”

Settling into the soft cushions of the couch, Miriam said, “That sounds a lot more fun than making five chicken potpies and waiting on a table of six who didn’t believe in tipping. Although . . . Mrs. Kent has an admirer.”

“Who?”

“The new manager of the English grocery store! He came over to the restaurant just to see her.”

And just like that, they were chatting like they used to. Sharing stories and commiserating about the life of being working girls.

After another hour, Miriam went home feeling a hundred percent better.

She’d needed that girl time.

In fact, she was feeling so good about things, she hardly minded her mother grilling her about her day, and whether she had any plans with Junior.

She was just about to admit the whole ugly truth about Junior and his infatuation with the uninterested Mary Kate when her father opened the front door and called for her.

Concerned, Miriam rushed from the kitchen to see what he needed. “Yes, Daed?”

“Looks like your young man has returned, Miriam.”

While she could practically feel her mother beaming behind her, she said, “Daed, what are you talking about?”

“Junior Beiler is at the end of the street, walking toward here with a spring in his step. Looks like you’ve got a caller tonight, dear.”

Her mother clasped her hands together in what looked like a combination of excitement and prayer. “Oh, my goodness.” Then she looked at Miriam and frowned. “Miriam, go freshen up!”

At the moment Miriam didn’t care whether she looked fresh or not. But she definitely did need a moment to gather her thoughts, so she rushed to her room and washed her face.

And took the time to pray.
Lord, I don’t know what you have in mind for me tonight, but please stay with me, would you? I think I’m going to really need you more than ever.

Almost as soon as she finished her brief, somewhat frantic prayer, her mother called out for her.

“Miriam, do you want to serve cheese and crackers or yesterday’s brownies?”

If Miriam had been the type of woman to stomp her foot in frustration, she definitely would have. For the first time in her life, she was dreading a chance to chat with Junior Beiler.

“Neither,” she grumbled as she walked down the stairs.

The moment Miriam left, Mary Kate turned both locks on her door, then pulled out the letter she’d been reading when Miriam showed up unannounced. Though she’d meant to keep her whereabouts a secret, she’d given into loneliness and had reached out to her parents.

Slowly she sat down on the couch, carefully unfolded her mother’s letter and steeled herself to read it yet again.

However, it didn’t matter how much she tried to remain calm. Within seconds, her pulse began to race and her hands began to shake as she forced herself to read the words for a third time.

Last night, we had dinner with the Lotts and just happened to see that nice Will. He’s gotten so handsome, Mary Kate! And he’s so considerate, too. He sat down with us, asked about my sprained wrist (more about that later!), and then said he couldn’t leave without hearing all the latest news about you.

Even though you asked me to keep it a secret, I simply had to tell him all about how you’re a teacher.

He was mighty surprised!

But then he said he thought you must be a good one, because you are so smart and sweet. Dear, he also asked me to be sure you knew that he was thinking about you.

Wasn’t that so kind of him?

I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but I hope you forgive him soon. You know how all of us have hoped and prayed that you and Will would one day marry.

Her mother’s note continued, telling Mary Kate about how she tripped on her father’s boot that he’d left out in the middle of the room in the middle of the night. She told her all about going to the doctor to get her wrist looked at, but how it wasn’t broken but only a sprain.

Pages more chatted on about all kinds of things, none of which Mary Kate would ever remember.

All she cared about was that Will knew that she was teaching school at an Amish schoolhouse. Deep down, she knew it was now only a matter of time before he found her.

She knew she hadn’t moved far enough away. She also knew that she wasn’t going to be able to wait until June to head south.

S
ometimes, it felt like Sugarcreek, Ohio, was just too small. No matter how hard Junior tried, everything he did was observed and commented upon by just about everyone he knew.

On the way over to Miriam’s, he’d been stopped by no less than four people asking what he was up to. It had taken some pretty impressive conversational somersaults to avoid telling the truth.

He had enough going on in his life without everyone giving him their opinions, too.

“Hi, Junior,” Mr. Zehr called out from the middle of his flower beds. “Couldn’t stay away, huh?”


Nee
,” he mumbled, feeling vaguely foolish. Miriam’s father had spoken so loud, the whole street probably knew he had stopped over again.

To make matters worse, the man waved, then walked right inside his front door. It closed with a snap behind him.

Hmm. That was strange. Unbidden, he heard Joe’s words ring in his head as he walked the last hundred feet to Miriam’s home.
You shouldn’t go. It’s not a
gut
idea.

But recently, it seemed that he’d been in no hurry to listen to anyone’s good idea. Which was why he was calling on Miriam again.

And, for some reason, he was feeling a little nervous.

Eager to take his mind off his worries, he tried to focus on her house. An old cottage-style home, built in the 1950s, Miriam’s
haus
was tucked away at the end of a cul-de-sac on one of the oldest streets in Sugarcreek. Parts of the street were still made of brick, making it look charming and as if you’d stepped into another time.

It was clear Mr. Zehr spent a lot of time in his flower beds as an abundance of flowers decorated the yard. A trio of rocking chairs rested on the front porch, their shiny white paint standing bright under the green ferns nestled in hanging baskets.

Everything about the home spoke to care of details.

Just as he raised his hand to knock on the door, it opened, bringing him face-to-face with her mother. Deanna Zehr was a slightly older version of her daughter. She was a little heavier than Miriam, her skin a bit more lined and wrinkled.

But her eyes were just as bright, the dark blue looking almost black in the fading afternoon light.

“Hello again, Junior,” she said. “We’re mighty glad you’ve returned.”

He felt lower than low. He had a feeling that he’d misled more people than just Miriam. “
Jah
. Hello to you, too. I, ah, came over to see Miriam.”

“Oh, we know that.” She looked absolutely delighted. “Lukas just told her you were walking down the street. She went to go freshen up. But she’ll be back down soon. You know Miriam, she’s not one to fuss too much.”

He had three sisters, two of whom fussed a lot. But they only fussed when they were interested in a boy. Beverly had taken to pinching her cheeks every time she was within two yards of Joe.

He clasped his hands behind his back and tried to look more at ease than he felt. “Ah.”

“Did you enjoy yesterday’s service at the Yoders’?”


Jah
. Very much so.”

After another searching look at him, she nodded. “That is
gut
. So, um, how is your family?”

“They are doing well.”


Gut
. Well, I suppose you would like to come in?”

“I would. I mean, if that is all right. . . .”

He was just about to step inside when Miriam appeared at the door. “I’ll speak with Junior out on the front porch, Mamm.”

“You sure? It feels a bit chilly.”

“We’ll be fine.”

Her mother raised her brows, but only gave him a half-hearted wave. “I’ll be seeing you, then, Junior.”

“Good-bye, Mrs. Zehr.”

The moment she was out of sight, Miriam shut the front door. Then she turned to him, her eyes anxious. “I’m sorry. My mother has started to become a bit too interested in my personal life. Do you mind sitting on the front porch? We’ll have more privacy out here than inside.”

“I would prefer that, actually.” After they each sat down in one of the rocking chairs, he decided to get straight to the point. “Did you get a chance to talk to Mary Kate about why she left on Sunday?”

“I did.”

“And?” He knew he sounded anxious, but he was curious to find out what had happened. “Why did she leave so suddenly? Did I do or say something that she didn’t like?”

“Not at all.” Looking perplexed, Miriam leaned back, allowing her chair to push her forward and back. “Why would you think you said or did something wrong?”

“I don’t know.” Pulling off his hat, he wiped his brow that had suddenly started to perspire. “It just seemed strange that she rushed off like that. What was Mary Kate’s reason?”

“A couple of things . . . She, uh, had some work to complete and some chores to do before school today.”

“That was her reason?”

For a moment, it looked like she wasn’t going to answer him, then she nodded. “
Jah
. Um, Mary Kate can be a little thoughtless sometimes, I fear.”

“And why is that?”

“She is, um, having some personal problems.”

“What kind of problems?”

She hedged. “Junior, I don’t know if I should tell you. Her story really isn’t mine to tell, you know?”

“I hear you. But, Miriam, you’ve got to help me out at least a little. I feel like I’m forcing her to talk to me against her will, and I don’t know why she’s acting like that. Most people like to talk to me just fine.”

“What’s going on isn’t your fault.”

“What is going on?” His voice was more plaintive now. “Please tell me. I need some help. I never thought I’d be the type of man to act like this.”

Miriam swallowed hard, looked beyond him, then seemed to come to a decision. “She was in a bad relationship before she moved to Sugarcreek. Toward the end, she had begun to be afraid of that man.”

He felt like he’d just swallowed an ice cube. “Did he hurt her?”

“No. I mean, I don’t think he did. But she’s wary of men now.”

“She’s afraid.” All of his protective instincts rushed forward and, if anything, his feelings for her strengthened. Mary Kate was such a little thing. Tiny. It boggled his mind to imagine another man hurting her.

“Miriam, I don’t know what to say. I never expected anything like this.”

She smiled softly. “I know what you mean. I was shocked when I heard her story, too.” She paused. “But maybe knowing some of her history? Maybe it will help you understand her a bit better.”

“It does. It really does.” He shifted, knowing it was probably time to go, but the sun was shining on their shoulders, Miriam seemed more relaxed, and for the first time all day he felt at ease. “Miriam, why do you think we never talked very much before now?”

Something flashed in her eyes before she shrugged. “Oh, gosh. I don’t know. I guess we were both too busy.”

“Maybe. For the last four years, all I’ve been doing is trying to keep up with my siblings. Trying to make everything all right for them.”

“And I’ve been working,” she allowed. “Sometimes working far too much. It’s hard to do things with friends when you are always tired.”

He laughed. “I know what you mean. When our
daed
first died, Levi had a couple of months of bad dreams. He kept dreaming that someone else would die and he’d have to go live with other relatives.”

“That poor boy.”

Junior smiled softly. “I know. He was afraid my other brothers would laugh at him, so he crawled into my bed every night, even though he was twelve years old! He’d crawl in, then toss and turn. Kick in his sleep.” He winced at the memory. “It about broke my heart, if you want to know the truth. Next thing I knew, I’d be wide awake. And then there was nothing to do but stay by his side and watch over him. Which meant, of course, that I’d be exhausted the whole next day.”

“So, that’s what you’ve been doing all this time, Junior. You’ve been trying to be a mother and father to your siblings.” She grinned. “And trying to get some sleep.”

“Those days are just about over now. I wouldn’t be surprised if Beverly got married soon. Randall, too. And Claire, Neil and Micah are self-sufficient, now. Levi is on the verge of being that way. So all that is left to worry about is Kaylene.”

Junior paused. While he knew how much he focused on his family and making sure everyone had what they needed, he never realized why he’d been pursuing Mary Kate. Deep down, as pretty as she was, he also thought that someone that Kaylene already knew, like her schoolteacher, would allow him to build a little family for his sister. Make sure she had a place to live where she felt like she belonged. Of course, it hadn’t worked out the way he imagined. Mary Kate was standoffish, and Kaylene didn’t seem to take to Mary Kate the way he’d expected her to.

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