Authors: Holly Jacobs
Seth smiled as Laura laughed. “And here I was going to have a microwave turkey dinner.”
“Oh, this is quite the step up. I started the turkey loaf at home, but it still needs time in the oven. I can have dinner ready in an hour.” He turned on the oven and put the turkey pan into it, then asked, “Pots?”
She pointed. “Seth, JT keeps asking me why I care, and I keep telling her it's because I do. Her question
frustrates me because I don't know how to explain why I feel compelled to help her. But I find myself wanting to ask you the same thing. Why are you here? I mean, I get that you feel the same compulsion to help JT. We both think she's special. But this isn't about JT. And staying with me while I had Jamie wasn't about her, either. We agreed to be allies, but thisâ” she waved her hand at the makeshift Thanksgiving meal “âand Jamie's birth, well, they're more than that. I'm no charity case, and I don't want you here because you feel your bossâ”
He took her by the shoulders and said, “Stop right there, Laura.” Zac would know what to say, but Seth didn't have a clue. He tried to find the right words. “You're no charity case, and I'm not here because of any sense of obligation. Yes, I checked in on you at first because of JT. But now, this isn't about that. I think you can use a friend. I know I can. So, let's say I'm here because I get what it's like to be lost without someone. Because⦔
He dropped her shoulders and pulled a can of cranberry sauce off the counter and placed it on her can opener. With his back toward her, he said, “I was a baby that no one wanted. I know that Jamie has you, and he's so lucky for that. But since Jay can't be here for him, I'd like to be. I want him to have as many people as possible in his life watching out for him.”
“That would beâ”
The doorbell rang, and Laura groaned as she headed toward the front door, muttering about noise and sleeping babies, while all Seth felt was a sense of relief. Channeling his brother's openness was exhausting.
Seth continued preparing his not-quite gourmet dinner. He could hear murmurs, then footsteps coming down the hall.
“Seth, look who's here.” Laura's voice was flat, devoid of emotion, as she stood in the doorway to the kitchen.
“Sir. Mrs. Martin. Happy Thanksgiving,” Seth said.
“To you, too. Laura said you stopped in to cook for her.”
Mrs. Martin frowned at the box of frozen mashed potatoes.
“I knew she didn't want to go out today and thought it was a way to be sure she got dinner. It says they're realâthe mashed potatoes,” he offered. “But Laura and I aren't sure about the turkey. We've decided to not ask too many questions.”
“We stopped in to see if she'd reconsider dinner with us,” the chief said, “but we can see that she's well taken care of.”
“I'm sorry Jamie's sleeping,” Laura said.
“Do you mind if we tiptoe in and see him before we go?” Mrs. Martin asked. “We won't wake him.”
“Sure.”
As soon as the Martins had disappeared down the hall, Seth said, “I didn't know they were coming.”
Laura nodded. “I didn't think you did.”
“You okay?”
“I was remembering last Thanksgiving when Jay and I had dinner with them. Mrs. Martin asked me to call her Mom and I said no, not until after the wedding. She helped me plan the wedding. I don't have my mom and
she only had Jay, so she volunteered. She said that she didn't think she'd ever have a chance to plan a wedding. She cried and hugged me, and at that moment I wanted to call her Mom more than anything in the world. It was such a happy day. And now?” She brushed away tears. “Sorry. New-mom hormones.”
“You're going to have to work things out with them sometime, for Jamie's sake,” he added quickly. “But it doesn't have to be today. Let me help.”
“Seth, you don't haveâ”
“We started out as allies, but now we're friends, remember? This isn't about the chief, the baby or JT. I'm your friend. And like I said, I know how hard it can be to deal with people when you're feeling shredded from a loss.”
Laura nodded. “Thanks. I think I'll lie down for a few minutes.”
She walked past him and stopped short, stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “Friends.”
Damn. Another kiss. That was four. Four totally innocent kisses. The Europeans kissed each other casually all the time, he assured himself. It didn't mean anything.
But if it didn't mean anything, why did he feel as if he'd just cheated on Allie?
He was saved from delving any deeper when the Martins appeared. “Where's Laura?”
“The baby was up all night. She's napping while I finish making dinner.”
The chief nodded.
Mrs. Martin said, “Please thank her for letting us
spend time with the baby, even if he was sleeping. I'll call soon.”
“I'll tell her, ma'am.”
“How about your family?” the chief asked.
“I'm working second, so I told them to eat without me. The whole bunch are coming into town tomorrow for that big basketball tourney. I'll see them then.”
“Good. Family matters, Seth. Our job can make it difficult, but that only means we have to try all the harder. Because when life is over, I don't think anyone says, âI wish I'd worked more overtime,' rather than âI wish I'd had more time with my family.'”
Mrs. Martin rushed from the room.
The chief looked stricken. “And that's what you call, putting your foot in it. I assure you, though, I regret not having more time with Jay, and would do anything if I could have even one more minute with my son. Or if I could go back and undo this rift with Laura, I would. She was like a daughter to us.”
“Give her time, sir.”
“I don't have any other option, do I?” Resigned, he started down the hall after his wife, then turned around and said, “Happy Thanksgiving, Seth. Please tell Laura I said the same to her. And tell her Adele and I have our lists for dinner, and at the top of each one are her and Jamie.”
Seth wasn't sure what lists the chief was talking about, but said, “I'll tell her, sir. Happy Thanksgiving.”
Half an hour later, he heard Jamie stir, which was good because their impromptu meal was almost done.
He got Jamie and changed his diaper before gently
knocking on Laura's door, which was ajar. She didn't call out and he nudged the door with his foot and saw her curled at the edge of the bed.
He stood and simply watched her for a minute.
When she was awake, she was formidable, whether she was fighting for JT, or caring for her son. Or even being angry with the chief. She was of average height, but now, she seemed dwarfed by the bed.
Cradling the baby in one hand, he gently tapped Laura's arm. “Laura, you need to wake up. Jamie's hungry.”
She sat upright, blinking her eyes. “Seth?”
“Jamie woke up. He's changed, but hungry.”
“Oh.”
“Why don't you feed him. Our dinner should be ready when you're done.”
Seth set the kitchen table. He found candles in the cupboard and lit them. The meal, while not exactly home-cooked, was close. They laughed as they chatted and ate.
Seth insisted on doing the dishes afterward.
Laura sat at the island, holding Jamie, watching him. “Seth, we forgot something.”
“What?”
“We didn't say what we were thankful for. My family used to have actual lists. We'd write down what we were thankful for and save the list. Mom always said that those lists were her lifeline when she was feeling blue.”
“That's what the chief meant.”
“Pardon?” Laura asked.
Seth dried the bowl he'd nuked the potatoes in. “The
chief told me to tell you that you and Jamie were at the top of their list.”
“Oh.” She didn't say anything else.
“Do you have a list this year?”
“No, I didn't make a list because I wasn't feeling very thankful, but today wasn't as hard as I thought it would beâ¦thanks to you.” She jumped up and grabbed a Post-it from the kitchen drawer and scribbled a few words on it. “There. Now I can put it in the box with the rest of my lists. And to make it official, I'll read it. I want to say I'm thankful for Jamie, for my time with Jay and for you. You've made everything easier.”
She passed him the Post-it pad and pen and eyed him expectantly.
It had been a long time since Seth had concentrated on what he was thankful for. “I'm game. I'm thankful for finding my way back to old memories that give more pleasure than pain, and for making new memories that I'll treasure. I'm thankful for good friends and family.”
He felt rather hypocritical saying he was thankful for his family. He could have gone to dinner with them, but working was easier. It suddenly felt like an excuse.
“About tomorrow?” he asked.
“You're sure your family wants someone else tagging along?”
He was sure he wanted someone else there. It was selfish of him, but he knew the Keller clan would be so enthralled with the baby and Laura, they'd forget all about him and he could fade comfortably into the background, which is where he preferred to be.
“I'm sure.”
“Then yes, a night out would be nice. I'll drive myself and meet you there. That way if it's too much with Jamie I can go and not interrupt your time with your family.”
Seth wanted to tell her he'd welcome the interruption, but in light of the Post-it he still held, he didn't.
He was thankful for his family. More specifically for his parents.
He was going to go tomorrow and try to show them all that.
L
AURA RECONSIDERED
agreeing to dinner with Seth's family. All day she'd thought about calling him and telling him that Jamie was too fussy. But the thing was, she sensed he wanted her there. And after everything he'd done for her, she couldn't walk away from that, so she went.
The Keller family was meeting at Joe Root's, one of her favorite Erie restaurants. It used to be at the base of the peninsula, but a few years ago, it had moved about half a mile up Peninsula Drive. Though it was in a new building, the owner had recreated the same hometown place she loved. She'd come here often with Jay.
Laura waited for the pain to follow the happy thought, but it never happened. The hostess pointed her to a sectioned-off area.
“Which table?” Laura asked.
“All of them.”
Laura felt overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of people.
Seth spotted her right off. “Everyone, this is Laura Watson. Laura, this is⦔
He gestured to a man wearing braces on his legs. “My brother, Dom.”
“My sisters Layla,” a smiling woman with curly auburn hair and skin a warm, bronze tone. “And May,”
who was older-looking than Layla, possibly Laura's own age of twenty-seven. She had long, straight coal-black hair and rather than smiling at Laura, she studied her.
Seth nodded at a younger girl with very curly dark hair, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt with a basketball team logo. “This is Cessy, who had the basketball game in town tonight.”
“That's
Cecily,
” his youngest sister said. “None of them can remember I'm not six anymore.” She sounded totally exasperated, but winked at Laura to let her know she wasn't.
Laura laughed. “I'll try to remember that,
Cecily,
” she promised.
Seth indicated a couple in the corner, the brown-haired man held a little boy on his lap. “That's my brother, Zac, and his wife Eli.” Eli waved at Laura.
“Eli and I have met,” Laura told Seth. She'd meant to tell him before, but kept getting sidetracked.
He nodded and said, “Nice. So you know one person other than me. That's their son, Johnny. And that's Colm. He works for my brother.”
“I hadda come, 'cause me and Cessy is friends, and she needed me to cheer for her at her game. She's a rock star.” Laura recognized immediately that Colm had special needs.
Seth laughed. “I used that term to describe my sister once, and Colm latched on to it.”
“Yeah, 'cause Cessy's a rock star.”
“That's Ariel and her daughter, Nora.”
Ariel called out, “I'm not officially a Keller, but they've sort of adopted me and Nora, as well. Cessy's
my best friend. And she likes it when I come to games to protect her from her brothers' abuse.”
“Hey, we don't abuse her, do we, guys?” Zac and Dom echoed Seth's contention. “If anything, she's the bane of our existence.”
“Don't push me, Seth,” Cessy warned. “When you're the youngest, you learn to rely on family stories and gossip, otherwise you'd never have all the dirt you need to survive so many siblings.”
“Yup, we feel for you, Cessy.” Seth laughed. Then abruptly stopped. His genuine happiness was suddenly dimmed. “And finally, that's my mom and dad, Abe and Deborah Keller.”
Mr. Keller looked as if he'd ridden straight out of a Western. Not a cowboy, but rather a mountain man. He was big, and his gray hair and beard were grizzly-looking. Mrs. Keller, on the other hand, was tiny and impeccably dressed. “Nice to meet you, Laura,” she said, then she turned her gaze from Laura to Seth, and Laura saw pain in her eyes.
“I'll try to keep everyone straight,” Laura vowed, though she knew it wouldn't be easy, and probably not even possible.
Seth showed her and Jamie to two empty seats on the opposite end of the table from his parents.
“Do you mind if I take Jamie out of his seat?” he asked.
“No, that's fine.” That was the last she saw of her son for the next hour. He passed from Keller to Keller, being utterly adored as they all talked to and over each other in turn.
Laura took it all in and wondered what it would be
like to have grown up in a family like the Kellers. Loud. Laughing. And loving. Their love for each other was palpable.
She ate her fish and chips and enjoyed listening to the snippets of conversation.
“â¦and I got into Mercyhurst College, too. Now, I have to decide where to go.”
“â¦and yes, I'm a barista in Cleveland now. I liked Pittsburgh fine, but it was time to try a new city. I'm heading to Ireland this summer. I've got my backpack ready to go.”
“â¦it's hard to see the guys come through the VA. They've done so much for our country, and I feel like my job is to put the pieces back together for them.”
“Hey, lady.” She looked up and Colm was standing there.
“I like to think I'm a lady, but you can call me Laura.” She smiled at him.
“Yeah, and I'm Colm. I wanna hold the baby and Eli said she'd help me, but I told her I gotta ask first. Some moms get all worried that 'cause I'm special I can't hold babies, but I'm real careful, and I ain't never dropped one once. I held Nora and Johnny when they was little, and I hold 'em now sometimes, but they're a lot more squiggly and that makes it harder, but I still ain't never dropped 'em. Zac and Eli will watch me, I promise.”
She looked up at Zac, who nodded as if he could hear their conversation from the far end of the room.
“Colm, you may definitely hold Jamie. He's not very squiggly at all yet.”
“Hey, thanks, lady. I'm gonna go take my turn before
I miss it. If Mrs. Keller gets that baby, I ain't never gonna get to hold him. She likes babies. A lot. And she likes me, too, so I like her, even if she is a baby-hog.” Colm hurried to the other side of the room and intercepted Jamie before Mrs. Keller, aka the baby-hog, got him.
Seth turned away from his conversation with his sisters and said, “And that whirlwind was Colm. He will be very careful with Jamie.”
“Your brother gave me a nod that basically said the same thing. So tell me, how is he part of the family?”
“Colm works at Keller's Market. It's the family business. When my father retired, Zac started running it. The store works with a lot of Whedon's school and community programs. Colm was placed through the Sunrise Foundation, who helps special needs people in town. Mom and Dad might not be legally adopting new kids, but they can't seem to help themselves and keep adding to the family anyway.”
“Speaking of family⦔ Laura knew she should leave it alone, but knowing and doing were two very different things. “Are you going to talk to your mom and dad? I've noticed you've visited with everyone except them. And you're as far away from them as you can humanly get and still be in the same room.”
As she spoke, Seth's smile faded, and by the time she finished the last sentence he was frowning. “Leave it alone, Laura. My parents and I have an under standing.”
“Which is?”
“I come to family functions and they cut me a wide berth.”
“Butâ”
“Our relationship is what it is. We've all come to accept that, so it's fine.” His tone brooked no argument.
She started to say,
Seth if you ever need to talk, I'm here,
but she didn't get any further than, “Sethâ”
“Leave it.” It wasn't his tone that said let it go, it was his body language. Tense and stiff, so unlike the normally easygoing man she'd come to know.
“If you change your mind and want to talkâ” was all the further she got as he cut her off again with a flat, “I don't and I won't.”
She saw his mother head their way with Jamie, and Seth got up and moved down the table to be next to his brotherâshe searched for the name. Dom.
“I believe this belongs to you.” Mrs. Keller handed the baby back to her.
Laura took him into her arms and realized how right he felt there. She'd been so nervous, and now, she felt almost naked without him. “Thanks, Mrs. Keller.”
“He's a good baby.”
“He isâas long as he's being held. I'll confess, this is the first meal since he was born that I've managed to eat without juggling him, too.”
“Well, any time you need an extra pair of hands, you can call on the Kellers. I'll confess, I've passed my love of babies and kids on to my kids. Every one of them is a baby magnet.”
“I saw that.”
“So, you and Seth areâ¦friends?”
Laura heard the innuendo in those few words. “Yes, ma'am. My fiancé, Jamie's father, was a cop, too. I
know you read about cops and their brotherhood in books and things like that, but I didn't really get it. Even when I was planning our wedding, I didn't get it. They have a fierce loyalty to each other, and to each other's families. Even though Jay and I didn't make it to the wedding⦔ Her voice hitched, and she took a deep breath to regain control. “Jay's group have dropped off home-cooked meals, shoveled when necessary and every Thursday, someone drags the trash cans to the curb and back. They look after me, no matter how much I protest.”
“Did Seth and Jay work together?” Mrs. Keller asked.
“No, ma'am. Seth barely knew Jay. I met him when I went to the station because of one of my students. We sort of banded together to help her, and he's stuck around ever since.”
“But just as friends.” It was a statement, but Mrs. Keller managed to hint at a question.
“Yes,” Laura assured her. “He was there the night Jamie was born. I don't think I could have done it without him.”
“He was there when you gave birth?” Seth's mom's expression wasn't one of surprise, but rather shock.
“Yes.” Wishing she hadn't mentioned it, and hoping to keep his mom from getting the wrong idea, Laura hastily added, “It's not as if we planned it.”
“I wouldn't have thought he'd have been able to do that,” Mrs. Keller mused.
“I didn't, either. He shouldn't have stayed, but as you probably know, Seth doesn't always listen. He had to be thinking aboutâ”
Mrs. Keller interrupted. “He told you about Allie and the babies?”
“Yes. And the fact that he stayed shows me what kind of man he isâjust what kind of man you raised.”
Mrs. Keller's smile stretched from ear to ear. “Seth has always had a deep need to protect and help people. I think that's why he went into law enforcement. When May was little, she was a wild child. Always running off and exploring. Seth is four years older, and he appointed himself her guardian. One day, a few months after she came to live with us, she got mad that I told her to clean her room and she packed her bag to run away. Seth followed her all the way downtown and coaxed her into the burger joint. He knew they didn't have any money to pay for their meals, but he ordered them burgers and shakes anyway. Then he told his sister they'd have to either wash dishes to pay for the meals, or call me to come get them and pay, which I did. Then he offered to help her clean her room. And Seth at that age was allergic to cleaning.”
“Even then he took care of people.”
“Even then.” Her voice sounded watery.
“Mrs. Keller?”
“I miss his trust. He was so angry with us when we didn't support his marriage to Allie. Even though they were obviously meant for each other. But we got along, and we admitted we were wrong and apologized. We were rebuilding a relationship, and Allie was really pushing for it. She wanted her childrenâtheir childrenâto know us, to be a part of our lives. And then she died, and⦔ She nodded at her son on the opposite
side of the room. “He's still upset. We just couldn't seem to find the right words to make it better.”
Mrs. Keller wiped at her eyes. “And saying all that to you was highly inappropriate. I'm sorry. And I'm glad Seth brought you.”
“I'm glad, too, ma'am.”
“He looks like he'd like to come back over, and probably won't if I'm here, so I'm going to make myself scarce. I hope we see you again soon, Laura. And I'm not just saying that in order to get a new baby fix.”
Laura laughed. “Thank you, Mrs. Keller.”
Mrs. Keller moved to sit next to Eli and Zac, scooping up their sonâ¦Johnny. Yes, that was his name.
Seth reclaimed his seat. “So, what did my mother want?”
“She introduced herself and said hi.” Laura didn't want to let it end there, so she added, “She misses you. Not that you're not here, obviously, but she feels your distance.”
He didn't respond. Didn't say anything. Although his expression told her that this was not a topic he cared to discuss. “And on that note, I think it's time I get this little guy home to bed.”
“Listen, Laura, I didn't meanâ”
“No, it's okay, Seth. It really is time to go home. Jamie's not used to parties.”
“I'll walk you out.”
Laura bundled up the baby, got ready herself and thanked everyone again for including her. “And, Cecily, congrats on the game. I heard you wonâ¦almost single-handedly.”
Cessy laughed and scoffed. “We're really a teamâwe have each other's backs.”
Laura wasn't sure if Cessy was talking about the family or her basketball team, but she smiled.
Seth took Jamie's carrier and escorted her to her car.
“Your family seems very nice.”
“They are,” was his short response.
Laura knew she'd pushed too much about his parents. “Tonight was fun. I think I needed that.”
“I didn't have a chance to ask, how are things with JT?”
“They're progressing. I gave her a test that Kaelee, our special service teacher, gave me. I don't think it's a learning disability. Neither does Kaelee. JT and her mom moved around a lot when she was younger. She went to four different grade schools. That's a lot of transition. A lot of moving from one curriculum to another. I think it's more gaps in her education than learning disability. The trick is to fill in the gaps.”