Home to Me (The Andrades, Book 2) (15 page)

I should have said nothing.

She retrieved her coat from the closet and slipped it on just before her mother joined her.

Helen said, “I could use a walk in the garden. Join me.” They exited the house together and walked side by side through the English garden’s stone path in silence. When they reached the center of the garden, just where a fountain stood, Rena’s mother said, “You and Kane never fight. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Rena kicked the small rocks she’d once used as wishing.

“Is it about the boy you’re dating?”

“He’s a man, Mom, and that’s part of it. I’m just tired of Kane thinking he knows what’s best for me. I’m not a child anymore.”

“He loves you, Rena.”

“I know, but that doesn’t give him the right to judge me or tell me what to do.”

“Feel like making a wish?” her mother asked, holding out a small rock to Rena.

“I stopped believing in those years ago.”

“That’s a shame, because there is something magical that happens when you toss a rock in the fountain. Maybe it works because it forces a person to voice what they really want. I don’t know.”

Rena looked up with skepticism, not believing for a second that her very practical mother relied on wishes for anything she wanted.

“You know your father and I started with nothing.”

“I know, Mom.”

“I wished for all of this—a loving husband and enough money so our children would have easier lives than we did. Now, I followed that up with hard work, but it all started with knowing what I wanted.” Her mother studied her closely as she asked, “You have everything, Rena, why aren’t you happy?”

Rena felt a wave of shame at her mother’s observation. “I am,” she said quietly, but corrected herself when she heard the lack of conviction in her own answer. “I thought I was.” She buried her hands in her coat pockets. “Did you ever wake up one day and wonder who you would have been if you’d been braver? If you hadn’t always said no because you didn’t want to disappoint anyone? I used to think I worked at Cogent because I wanted to be there, but did I pick that job? Or did you and Dad say it was a good, safe place for me to start, and I went along with it because I wanted you to be happy? I used to want to do so many things that I thought you’d disapprove of. I wanted take vacations with my friends, study abroad, do some wild and spontaneous things just for the fun of it. But I never did, Mom. I think I said no too many times, and I lost myself somehow. ”

Her mother picked up a stone and threw it into the fountain. “My mother used to say, each generation messes up their children simply by trying to do the opposite of what their parents did. Your father and I were raised with nothing, so we wanted you to have everything. We worried it would spoil you, so we were strict. We didn’t want you to be soft. We wanted you to know right from wrong. We felt it was important for you to understand the value of hard work as well as the responsibility that comes with having more than others.”

Rena picked up a handful of stones, letting them drop one at a time back to the ground.

Her mother sat on the edge of the fountain. “You’ve never broken our rules, Rena, but sometimes I wish you had.”

Rena jerked her head up to look at her mother. “What?”

“Talk to me. What do you want that you think we wouldn’t support? Who could you possibly be dating that you’re afraid we won’t accept?”

Rena sat next to her mother on the lip of the fountain. “Nick Andrade.”

“Oh.” Her mother repeated herself in surprise. “Oh.”

“Don’t say it, Mom. I really don’t want to hear all the reasons that dating him is a bad idea. I don’t care about them. I only care about how I feel when I’m with him.”

After a long moment, Helen said, “I can see why dating Nick would be exciting. He’s a classic bad boy. Charming. Handsome. Untamable. Those are all sexy qualities in a fantasy man. But in reality, he’s an angry rich kid who refuses to grow up. You’d never be happy with someone like that, and you’d never be able to change him. No matter how hard you tried.” A sad, nostalgic expression entered her eyes.

Rena’s mouth fell open.

“Did you think your father was the only man I’ve ever been with? He wasn’t. There was one man, a long time ago, who made me glow the way you do when you talk about Nick. But it wasn’t real, Rena. Nothing that feels that good ever is.”

“I thought Dad was the love of your life. That’s what you’ve always told us.”

“Don’t confuse lust with love. They are two very different things. And don’t give your heart to a man like Nick. He’ll only break it.” She took Rena’s hand in hers. “Your father is a good man and I do love him. I made the right choice.”

“Does Dad know about the other man?”

“No. But he helped me put my life back together after my heart had been broken, and forgave me when I lashed out at him for things that weren’t his fault. I fell in love with his kindness and his patience. I didn’t have to tell him someone had hurt me. He’s a smart man. But some details are better left unsaid.”

“You don’t know Nick like I do, Mom. He would never hurt me.”

Helen nodded, then picked up a small stone and tossed it in the water.

“What did you wish for?” Rena asked as she picked up a stone.

Her mother forced a smile and stood. “I’ll tell you when you have children of your own. Come on, let’s go back inside.”

Before joining her, Rena said, “Please don’t say anything to Kane or Dad.”

“I won’t.” She looked at the rock still in her daughter’s hand. “You look like you want to make a wish, Rena.”

Looking down at the stone, Rena shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know what I want anymore.”

“Then hold onto it until you do.” Hugging her daughter, Helen said, “And know that I’m here for you no matter what you decide to do.”

Rena wiped away a quick tear. “Even if you don’t agree with my decision?”

“I won’t even let Kane hang him from the railing.”

Rena laughed at that. “You wouldn’t have let him do it back then if you’d been home.”

“Just like I won’t let you get away with telling him you would cut him out of your life. Neither of you are perfect. You were right to set boundaries with him, but now you need to go give him a hug and tell him you love him.”

“Mom—”

“Rena, don’t argue. Just do it.”

Rena laid her head on her mother’s shoulder and said, “Have I ever told you how amazing you are, Mom?”

Laying her cheek on her daughter’s head, Helen answered, “Not so amazing, hon. Just a mother who loves her daughter very much.” She kissed her hair, then straightened her coat and said nonchalantly, “And you don’t have to worry about Kane going after Nick. I’ll kill him myself if he hurts you.”

Before Rena left her parents’ house that night, she slipped back out to the fountain and dropped in her rock, sending ripples through the water. “I want to be brave enough to be myself—whoever that is.”

***

Nick’s conversation with Serge had kept him up for most of Saturday night. Did Rena think their time together meant more than it did? Was she romanticizing it into a relationship?

He didn’t usually worry, but this was Rena. He cared about her. Yes, the sex between them was fucking fantastic. Seeing her again was all he’d thought about since he’d left her at the opera. But if she believed the sex was leading toward a ring and a future—she was setting herself up for a disappointment.

Can I live with that?

His cell phone rang. He checked caller ID and groaned before answering, “Hello, Mother.”

“I haven’t seen you in a week.”

“I’ve been busy.”

“Too busy to come see me? Luckily I have staff who check in on me between my doctor visits. I’ll leave instructions for them to update you if my health takes a downward turn, since it appears you won’t be around to see for yourself.”

“You were looking much better the last time I saw you. You’re fine, Mother.”

“So now you’re a doctor? Fantastic. I’ll call mine and tell him I no longer need testing since my son can diagnose me over the phone.”

Nick sighed. “Was there a reason for your call?”

Patrice made a small sound of disapproval, then said, “Yes. Madison told me you’re working at Cogent now with George. Why am I hearing news about my own sons from someone like her?” No matter how many times Gio has requested his mother call him by the name he’d chosen for himself, Patrice continued to refer to her oldest son as George.

“Like her? Maddy is family.”

His mother made another unladylike sound of disagreement in her throat. “Well, I’m glad someone told me what you were up to. Are you sure it’s wise to work there again? Have you forgotten about the first time?”

“It’s different this time, Mother. We’re working together on projects.”

“Oh, Nick, you can be such a fool sometimes. He’s letting you think you’re important so he can manipulate you. Winning is all he’s ever cared about. Tell me, did you threaten him when you went to see him? I know you, Nick. You stood up to him and that scared him.”

“I’m hanging up now, Mother.”

“It doesn’t matter if you believe me, Nick. You’ll find out for yourself. George is afraid. I tried to protect him, but as I face my own mortality, I have come to peace with letting go of what I can’t change. One day, the truth will come out about what he did, and I hope you’re smart enough to protect yourself, Nick. He’ll let you take the blame if he can. That might even be why he’s allowing you to work with him now. Watch your back, son. Whatever George is telling you, he has his own interests at heart. He always has.”

Nick hung up on his mother and dropped down on his couch. He hadn’t asked her what she thought Gio had done, and he wasn’t going to.

His family was choking on its own lies. Even Luke, the family’s ever-optimistic moral compass, could not find his way through this maze of dishonesty. Even if he could find the truth, how much would it matter if it was wielded as a weapon? Who do you trust when every story has multiple versions?

Eventually—no one. Was his mother right? Was Gio lulling Nick into complacency by throwing token projects at him? Could he be hiding something?

Or was Gio right? Was their mother’s poor health fictitious? If so, why? And what would she gain by keeping Nick from working with Gio?

What is left to believe in when you can’t trust the people you should the most?

To call or not to call.

After leaving her parents’ house, Rena weighed that decision the entire ride home. With any other man, the answer would have been simple: Hell no. She didn’t chase men; they chased her. Good-looking, hardworking men asked her out often enough that she’d never had to. Much of that, she knew, was due to her family’s financial status.

Not an ego-boosting realization.

During the first few dates, it was nearly impossible to know if a man was genuinely attracted to her or just hoping to be the son-in-law of Sander Enterprises’ founder. By the third date she could usually peg the social climbers. Spending more time at dinner talking to her father than to her was one certain giveaway. But there were others, worse offenders, whom she tried to forget.

One man had actually given her what looked like a business proposal for their one-month anniversary. He’d listed all of the reasons why merging their two families would be lucrative for everyone involved—even including a projection for increased profit margin after they announced their engagement.

Rena had pretended to read over the list carefully, running her finger down the long column to the end, then had said, “Quite a comprehensive argument, but it doesn’t include the one reason why I can’t marry you. I could never fuck a calculator.”

Seeing the agitated expression on his face had been almost as enjoyable as crumpling his proposal and throwing back at him. But Rena wasn’t known for having a temper. Those who had known her since childhood often described her as a warm, supportive friend. Sweet. Predictable.

Boring.

Not at all who I am when I’m with Nick.

She thought of all the times she’d hadn’t gone for what she wanted because she’d been concerned about how others would feel. She’d gone to a local college so her parents wouldn’t worry. She’d taken a job her parents approved of because she knew they wanted her to be safe. Looking back, she’d even dated only men she thought her family would approve of.

She thought back to the wish she’d made in the fountain.
I don’t want to live like that anymore. I’m done with tedious first dates and boring kisses that leave me wondering what is wrong with me. Doesn’t everyone deserve some passion in their life? A reason to get out of bed?

Just this once I don’t want to be sensible. I don’t need anyone’s advice.

I want to be the woman I am when I’m with Nick.

Her mother might be right. He might one day break her heart. But she was willing to accept that possibility over never feeling the heat of Nick’s kisses again.

Rena pulled her car into her garage and applied the brakes with more force than usual. She stepped out of the car and decisively slammed the door behind her.