Home is Where the Heart Is (Home #1) (15 page)

Isabelle walked hesitantly down the hallway, afraid that at any moment she might take the wrong step and everything would come crashing down around her.

The walls were a muted peach colour, she noted with interest, and instead of carpet they had hard wood floors. She kept her eyes trained on the polished timber as she edged her way down the passage.

When she could go no further, she took a deep breath and turned to the left, facing a plain white door. It looked oddly out of place with the rest of the décor. She glanced down the hall and saw what could only be Maia’s room as the door was completely plastered in photos.

How odd that she gained no sense of him at all as she stood at his threshold. Her hand paused by the handle, shaking slightly.

Oh, for God’s sake Isabelle, he’s not even home! Stop being a wuss and open the damn door, what exactly are you afraid of finding in there?

She turned the knob and thrust the door open before she could overthink it any further.

Her eyes widened in shock as she adjusted to her surroundings. It was not at all what she had been expecting to find. The walls were just a basic white with only a few posters up. Weirdly, the posters weren’t of naked girls or bands, they were quotes from the likes of Nelson Mandela, Ghandi and other inspirational people.

Not one photo was displayed anywhere that she could see.

There was a double bed pressed against the far wall, with two matching tables on either side. One table had an iPod on it, and the other a few empty beer bottles. She frowned at the bottles - she didn’t like the idea of him drinking alone in this empty, lifeless room.

She moved around the room cautiously, noticing that there weren’t clothes piled around the floor messily like her room usually had. In fact, even his walk-in closet was kept in perfect condition. She felt sadness overwhelm her.

What kind of a teenage boy lived in a room like it was a hotel and not a place of safety and security? It felt like he kept this room like a guest room because if he truly made it his own, it meant he couldn’t just pack up and leave if he needed to.

The only things in his room that gave her any comfort were the flat screen TV on the wall hooked up to a PlayStation 3, with two blue bean bags positioned in front of it, still imprinted with bodies. It was a comfort to see how well used the bean bags were because it meant that he wasn’t always alone.

She kicked her shoes off and settled herself on the bed, pleased to find it was really comfortable and finally a place where she could feel his presence.

She turned her head and noticed that his balcony doors were unlocked and the curtains thrown open as wide as possible. She lay her head down on his pillow and saw with clarity that from here, her balcony doors were perfectly visible and that her curtains had been pulled tightly closed. How symbolic that his side was open and welcoming whereas hers was closed and shut off.

She turned from the window and was struck by the overwhelming scent of Jace. It overtook all her senses and was completely disarming.

She shifted closer to his pillow as she pulled the sheets over her body, soaking him up. She wondered if her bed smelt distinctly like her and if she even had a specific scent. Was she leaving some kind of mark as she lay on his bed right now?
She leaned over and grabbed his iPod, put his head phones in, and pressed ‘play’. It was completely intrusive, every part of her being here, but she couldn’t stop herself. She wanted to know more about him; she needed to do more than just scratch the surface so that she could get some proof that she wasn’t crazy for feeling so drawn to him.

She closed her eyes as The Spill Canvas – Black Dresses began to play. She honestly had no idea what to think of Jace. Everything about him was so unlike any of the guys she’d ever met, that she had no idea what little box to put him in, except for maybe “damaged.” She knew enough about being damaged herself to recognise the signs in others.

As sleep began to claim her, she swore to herself that she would never be the reason he felt broken. She swore that she would work to try and fix the hole in his heart, and maybe her act of kindness would start to mend hers.

*

She awoke not by a shake or a noise but instead with the knowledge that someone was watching her. Jumping out of bed, her arms up in a defensive position, she looked around wildly for her assailant.
Instead, she found Jace and Matt standing in the door way, Jace with his hands up in surrender and Matt with his mouth open.

“Didn’t mean to wake you,” Jace said softly, his face still guarded. “Just didn’t expect to find you of all people in my bed.”

“Any girl being in your bed is kind of a mind warp for me,” Matt quipped.

You of all people

It hit her hard those words, and in the little time they’d known each other, it shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did.

You of all people.

“Isabelle?”

She turned her attention back to Jace realising he must have been speaking to her.

“I’m sorry, what?” she asked.

“I asked if everything was OK,” he repeated.

Ah, the million dollar question. The one thing she couldn’t even be honest with herself about, let alone Jace and his best friend.

“I’m fine,” she told him with a smile. “I’m sorry to just barge in like this, but I really wanted to apologise to you about before.”

Matt took a step forward so he was effectively between them.

“Apologise? What did you do?” his words were light but his eyes were hard as he stared at her.

She peered around him so she was right in Jace’s eye line and she felt even more nervous now, especially because they had an audience.

“A misunderstanding. Jace, I-”

“You need to leave,” he said calmly.

Her eyes snapped up to meet his. “I…I just…”

“No, not you,” he glanced over at his best friend. “Go see what Maia’s up to, will you? I’ll catch up with you in a bit.”

Matt’s head flipped between the two of them for a few moments before finally settling on Isabelle. He pegged her with a hard stare that clearly warned her off hurting his best friend and then with a big grin, smacked Jace on the arm.

“Don’t try and get out of having your arse kicked in COD. I’ll be back soon.”

With a nod to Isabelle he shut the door behind him with a quiet snap.

Isabelle let go of a breath she didn’t realise she was holding and relaxed her stance a bit, inching a little closer to Jace, who made no move towards her whatsoever.

“Jace,” she began again, her voice shaking slightly.

“Isabelle, it’s fine,” he replied without his usual warmth. “You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

Taking a leap of faith, she crossed the room so they were standing inches apart.

“I’ve got a lot of wires crossed inside of me,” she whispered. “And it means that I shut down a lot whenever anyone tries to get close or show any kind of interest towards me. I’m sorry about what happened earlier. I don’t ever want to put that look on your face again, especially when you’ve been much kinder to me than I deserve. I just wanted to come over and say that I’m grateful for having you come into my life - and I hope I haven’t completely ruined any chance of us being friends.”

Jace kept his eyes on her face, searching for what felt like hours. He didn’t make any move to touch her, but his eyes were so intent she felt a flush all through her body, like his stare was caressing her. After what felt like an eternity, his smile broke into a casual grin, and the tension in the room dissipated.

“That was the prettiest apology I’ve ever received,” he told her. “Although, you didn’t need to apologise for anything.”

Isabelle opened her mouth to tell him that she hadn’t apologised enough when he cut across her.

“We’re cool,” he said as he moved forward and slumped into his bean bag, gesturing for her to take the other. “Let’s just chalk it up to a bad day and move forward, ok?”
Isabelle smiled at him gratefully, easing herself into the second bean bag. “I had planned on making you some apology cookies but our kitchen isn’t fully functional yet.”

Jace handed her a game controller and then turned the TV onto some sort of war game. “I do love a good cookie but hot girl in my bed is easily just as good.”

She blushed, looking down at the controller in her hands so she wouldn’t have to meet his gaze.

“And just so you know, I won’t ever try to kiss you again, not unless you give me permission to.”

Isabelle stared over at him with wide eyes as a crushing disappointment slammed into her body. She opened her mouth to say something, anything but found she had no words.

“Ready to kill some bitches?” he asked her with a very platonic smile.

She smiled back at him and nodded, trying to ignore the stab of loss she felt in her gut.

*

Jace stayed true to his word. For the next few days he was nothing but causal and friendly with Isabelle as she spent the majority of her time hanging out with him, Maia and Matt.

There was no longer any longing in his eyes when he looked at her and he made no effort to kiss her or touch her in any kind of flirtatious way at all.
She hated herself for being so down about the lack of affection. This is what she had wanted and this is what she had forced him into. She had no right to be upset or disappointed. But she was.
As she looked over at his toned body, contorting as he jumped up to smack the volleyball over the net she felt such a strong sense of longing.

“Enjoying the view?” Maia asked teasingly.

Isabelle smiled over at her and shrugged. “It’ll do.”

Maia settled her beach chair closer to Isabelle’s and then they both stared over at Jace and Matt playing beach volleyball with some guys.

“So, five days left of freedom and then it’s back to the torture of school life,” Maia sighed deeply.

“I’m a little bit excited, is that weird?” Isabelle asked, her eyes still tracking Jace.

“Yes, but luckily for you, your weirdness is part of your charm,” Maia replied with humour.

“I just want to get into a routine,” Isabelle explained. “I function better with routines.”

“Not me, I like the unpredictability of life. I love waking up each day and not knowing what I’ll be doing or where life might take me.”

Isabelle smiled over at her friend, and in the week they’d spent together she was sure of their friendship. It was something unexpected and, at times, a little unsettling but something she had come to treasure, something that she found herself looking forward to from the minute she awoke. So strange that in a short amount of time she felt more connected to Maia than her other friends she’d grown up with, well except for…

“There’s another pool party at Ben’s tonight,” Maia told her. “Feel like coming?”

Isabelle groaned. “Am I going to get beaten in front of half the school again?”

Maia’s face darkened. “No, that won’t happen to you ever again.”

Isabelle felt her heart fluttering with nerves at even the thought of facing those people again, even though her bruises had now faded.

“I’m always going to be the new girl that got punched at a party,” she said quietly.

“Only if you refuse to move forward,” Maia pointed out. “Just come tonight and it will be like a do over. You know more people now so it won’t be as confronting, and this time you can let your hair down a little bit.”

Isabelle bit her lip as she felt torn about her choices. She did want to try and expand a bit and do more than just sit at home wallowing in her own self-pity… but she also wanted to try and avoid unwanted attention and she was absolutely sure that’s what this party would bring.

“Isabelle, I can’t believe I even have to sell this to you,” Maia stated in frustration. “Beautiful house, no parents, good times, good people, hot guys half naked. Do I need to go on?”

Isabelle eyed Jace again; his body lean with muscles, a healthy tan on his skin. So beautiful, so alive and so not hers.

“Jace will be there,” Maia told her with a smirk.

Isabelle rolled her eyes at Maia. “Like that is going to be my deciding factor.”

But it was and Maia knew it too.

“You let yourself believe whatever you have to,” she told Isabelle smugly. “But we both know you’re going tonight.”

Isabelle nudged her playfully and looked back over to the boys only to find them heading towards them.

“Enjoying the game, babe?” Matt asked as he leant down to place a kiss on Maia’s lips.

“There could have been more nakedness,” she said slyly. “But I guess it was still fun.”

Matt laughed and lifted Maia up, taking her place on the seat and settling her back on his lap, their lips meeting before they even hit the chair.

“So, did you win?” Isabelle asked Jace, trying to ignore the couple beside her.

Jace spun around, gesturing to his body. “Does it look like this was built to lose?”

No, his body looked built for a lot of things but losing was not one of them.

Isabelle shrugged at him instead. “Maybe.”