And finally, he smiled.
The relief was crazy. Was this how he’d felt all those times she’d come home from the harbor? The rush of
Thank god
?
The thrill of being the one to get the smile? The burn to do anything and everything necessary to fix whatever was wrong?
Wow. It really could be addictive.
“Thanks,” was his simple response.
She held up the side of the tent and gestured for him to crawl in.
“Just a warning,” she said, following him on hands and knees, “when Lydia helped me get the blankets, I promised we wouldn’t have sex under here.”
He grinned and started to respond, but the TV screen, paused on the first episode of his favorite TV show, caught his attention.
“
Big Bang Theory
?”
She laughed. Looked like there was no risk of grossing Lydia out now that his attention was firmly on episode one, season one.
“I know you said cartoons, but that’s me. You need this.”
Gavin settled back against the pillows she’d propped along the front of the couch for that purpose.
“Ah,” he sighed. “This really is a great idea.”
He took a big bite of cereal and she hit play, then settled in next to him and munched on her own Froot Loops.
They were starting the third episode when Allie realized what had happened. This was a lot like the scenario Gavin had wanted to create the night with the movie and lasagna—the quiet time together, just
being
, like a normal couple.
She thought about it as he chuckled at the show, and she felt that same relief and contentment she had before. He was okay, good even, in part because of her. She liked this. And just sitting here doing nothing in particular was also good.
Allie leaned into him, running her hand over his chest as she soaked up the emotions of the moment, along with the feel, smell and sound of Gavin.
She liked the idea of being there when Gavin’s day, week or just life in general went sucky. Or maybe it was more that she hated the idea of
not
being there. When he was sad, upset, hurt…or even happy. It had definitely felt good to be the one he’d opened the door for.
She wanted to do this forever.
Forever.
For
ever.
The thought sank in slowly, but when it—and all it really meant—hit her consciousness, she sat up quickly, knocking the corner of the sheet off the arm of the chair.
Just like that, the outside world flooded into their cocoon.
“Al?”
His husky voice made her press her lips together.
“Yeah?”
“You okay?”
How did he know that she might not be? He had been absorbed in the show.
She turned to look at him and knew immediately how he sensed something had changed—he was in tune with her and she with him. They were connected. Somehow. Inexplicably. On a level she hadn’t even known existed until Gavin.
How could she not be with him forever?
But how could she?
His life was here. This was vacation for her. A few days ago he’d insisted that wasn’t true, but she’d just—typically—ignored that rather than deal with it. Now it was right in front of her and…she didn’t know what to do.
“I have to…get a refill,” she said, scrambling to her feet before he could detain her—or do something that would make her want to stay even more. She made an even bigger mess of the blankets, tripping over one that wrapped around her ankle as if trying to keep her in place.
“Allie—”
But she didn’t stop, didn’t even look back—because that was all it would have taken for her to dive right back in and never leave.
She was shaking a little as she headed into the kitchen. She couldn’t stay. She
couldn’t
stay. This was
Alaska
. On a map, two places didn’t get much farther apart than Bend and Promise Harbor. And she wanted to be in Promise Harbor.
Swallowing hard, she made herself at least admit the truth to
herself
—she
needed
to be Promise Harbor. Not so much wanted to be.
The question became—could she more easily live with the guilt of
not
going home or the heartbreak of leaving Gavin?
Lost in thought, she didn’t notice Lydia sitting at the center island in the kitchen until she heard her brother’s voice.
Allie spun to find Charlie’s face filling up Lydia’s laptop screen. Lydia’s back was to her, and for the girl who was aware of everything—especially Allie’s moves—to not notice that Allie had set foot on sacred ground meant that she was completely absorbed in her conversation with Charlie.
Knowing she was eavesdropping, but unable to stop, Allie watched them for a minute.
“I have three,” Lydia said.
“Where?” Charlie asked.
There was something light and teasing in his tone. Something that Allie hadn’t heard in his voice for a very long time. Of course, there hadn’t been a lot to be light and teasing about for a long time.
And maybe that was partly her fault. The thought hit her suddenly and Allie frowned. She knew she’d ridden both Charlie and Danny hard in the past year, but…she glanced toward the living room…had anyone made sure they also smiled and laughed and let go of the sad, serious stuff?
Allie leaned slightly, wanting to see her brother’s face, but not wanting him to notice her in the background. He was clearly in their kitchen in the harbor—she’d recognize the bright white cupboards with glass fronts anywhere. In fact, those cupboards brought a lump to her throat.
Damn.
Lydia giggled and Allie drew upright. A
giggle
?
“I don’t think I should tell you.”
Charlie grinned, obviously focused enough on Lydia to not notice Allie—or anything else.
“Why not? I’m going to wonder and use my imagination if you don’t.”
Lydia laughed again. “Okay, where do you think they are?”
“I hope there’s one on your hip,” he said without pause.
Allie’s eyes widened.
“You hope so?” Lydia asked. “Why?”
“’Cause that’s sexy as hell.”
Allie’s eyes got wider and her mouth opened. She’d never heard her brother use the word “sexy” in her life.
“And it fits you,” he added.
“It does?” Lydia asked.
It
did
?
“Definitely. If you don’t have a sexy little angel tattooed on your hip, I want you to go out and get one tomorrow.”
There was that giggle again, but Allie hardly noticed.
Her
brother
was talking to
Lydia
about being sexy and having tattoos? And imagining where they were on her body?
“An angel?” Lydia asked.
“Yeah,” Charlie said, his voice a little gruff. “A cute little innocent cartoon angel girl…completely at odds with the naughty stuff you like.”
Oh god. Enough eavesdropping.
Clearly
this was more than Lydia talking to Charlie about their dead mothers and his lack of ambition. However it had started, it was now at a very new and different level. One that Allie did
not
need to know about.
She backtracked outside the kitchen, then made a lot more noise coming in this time.
Lydia spun on the stool to face Allie. “Oh, hi!” she said too brightly.
Way too brightly considering she rarely smiled at Allie.
“Hi.”
“Allie, that you?”
She leaned in, trying to pretend she was surprised to see her brother—and pretend she was not aware that he was aware that Lydia had a naughty streak. “Charlie?”
“Hey, girl.”
“How are you?” She resisted asking about the job, asking about how messy the house was, and asking what grade Danny had in his English class.
“Great. I’m great,” Charlie said.
And she believed him.
“You look great,” he said with mild surprise.
“I…do?” That gave her pause. Charlie didn’t say stuff like that to her. It must mean she looked
different
.
“Definitely. You’re not pale and skinny. You looked like crap at the wedding.”
Ah, well, leave it to a little brother to take the shine off of a compliment quickly.
“Thanks,” she said wryly.
He chuckled and she found herself smiling at the sound.
“No, seriously. You look good. Lydia said you’ve been taking it easy.”
Lydia coughed and Allie narrowed her eyes. So they had been discussing
her
as well. And Lydia commented she was “taking it easy”? She might like to know that Allie routinely got up at five a.m., went to bed at midnight and barely sat down during the hours between.
“I’ve been sleeping in, working out and eating well.” There, that was as close as she was going to get to giving Lydia any credit. She also left off the lots-of-great-sex and falling-in-love-all-over-again part of the equation. He was her little brother. He didn’t need
every
detail.
“Good for you. Keep it up,” Charlie said.
Then she couldn’t resist one question. “How’s Dad?”
“He’s great too, I guess.”
Uh-huh. It was the “I guess” that got her. “Is he eating?”
“I’m sure he is,” Charlie said with a chuckle.
“Are you doing laundry?”
“You’ve only been gone a little over a week,” Charlie pointed out.
“Meaning?”
“I’ve got enough clothes to go a couple weeks.”
Allie gritted her teeth and tried to tell herself it didn’t matter. She didn’t need to get on him. He was the one who’d be smelling bad—or going naked—if he didn’t take care of the laundry. But she just couldn’t let it go. “What about Dad?”
Charlie sighed. “He’s
fine
, Allie. I talked to him on Sunday and they were having a nice time.”
“
Sunday
?” Allie repeated. “Why haven’t you talked to Dad in three days?”
“They left on Saturday.”
“They
left
? Who left?”
“Dad and Sophie.”
Allie was sure her expression was comical, but she felt her heart stop and then restart with a hard thump that she felt through her whole body. “Dad and Sophie are…where did they go…why?” She stumbled through all her questions at once.
“They went up to Greenbush Island. They were just going to spend a few days, getting away.”
She took a deep breath. It wasn’t like they’d run away and not told anyone. Obviously her dad had his cell phone if he and Charlie had talked. He was with someone who knew him well and cared about him. She told herself all of those reasonable, rational things. But her blood pressure continued to rise. “Josh thought this was okay?” She was
so
calling her ex-fiancé. If he
did
think this was okay, she was going to have to yell at him. If he didn’t, she was still going to yell at him for not stopping them.
“I don’t know if Josh knows. He wasn’t here when they left.”
She froze. “
What
?”
“Josh wasn’t here when Dad and Sophie decided to go,” Charlie repeated.
“Where was he?” Surely Charlie meant that Josh hadn’t been there at the exact minute they’d decided to take off. He wouldn’t really be
gone
.
“He took off the same day you did, sis,” Charlie said. “He’s been gone. Just got home Saturday.”
Allie felt a little dizzy. Josh hadn’t been there to take care of things? And something was going on with her dad and Sophie. And Charlie was having cybersex with Lydia.
Allie put a hand to her forehead.
All hell was breaking loose.
Because of course it was.
Allie had been gone far longer than it took to get a drink refill, and Gavin had finally waited long enough.
There’d been something going through her mind when she suddenly sat up and bolted. He had no idea what, but after a reasonable amount of time without her returning, he knew he needed to go after her. Either something was going on in her head, or she and Lydia were destroying his kitchen.
She was in the kitchen with Lydia, all right, but they weren’t fighting.
Lydia was chewing on her bottom lip, watching Allie worriedly.
And he saw immediately why—Allie looked like she was going to faint, throw up or throw
something
. Or all three.
“Al?” He went straight for her.
“Bye, Charlie,” he heard Lydia say quickly.
He glanced over to watch her close her computer screen, grab the laptop off the counter and head for her bedroom.
Uh-oh.
“I have to go home.”
Allie’s voice wavered and he stopped with several feet still between them.
The words were not at all what he’d been expecting. Gavin had to concentrate so hard on what she’d said that he couldn’t even put one foot in front of the other. He drew up short and just stared at her.
“Gavin? Did you hear me?” she asked, coming forward. “I have to go. To Promise Harbor. Right away.”