His Michaelmas Mistress (4 page)

“I…I think I might have. I don’t really like it, but I needed some liquid courage,” she admitted.

“You probably had two sips of the stuff. You, my lady, are a bloody lightweight when it comes to the tipples. Lady Tisbury, pray don’t worry. This isn’t what it looks like,” he said quickly.

“Oh, it isn’t, Lord Axbridge? Because to me, it looks as if you’ve gotten my daughter a little bosky, and now you intend to take full advantage of her current predicament.”

“Oh, no, Mama. He didn’t get me drunk, he is not that sort of man…I did it myself,” she hiccupped, and smiled. “And if anyone was trying to take advantage of someone, it was me. I was trying desperately to lead Lord Axbridge into temptation…but you know, he wouldn’t come with me, he wouldn’t dare oblige me…well, not until just before you showed up. I think I might have had the noose around his neck, then,” she giggled again.

“Julia, you are quite scandalous,” Beatrice exclaimed.

“Oh, aye. I’m following in Iris’s footsteps. Except this time, I didn’t go to the Gypsy Grandmother for a love potion.”

“Julia Gwendolyn Alice Lovett, you shall go upstairs, put on something respectable, and you will return with me to Castleton Court. Is that clear?”

“Clear as a bell, Mama,” she said, sighing heavily. “But I shan’t do it.”

“Do you see what I’ve been dealing with?” Freddie asked tiredly.

Beatrice eyed him warily. “For once, sir, I do not think you are entirely to blame. However, mayhap, you are to blame. Had you done what my daughter wanted in the first place, I wouldn’t be traipsing around Wiltshire looking for her. You would have my blessing to be in the position you are in right now.”

“Oh, Mama, you haven’t been traipsing,” Julia said. “You’ve had a coachman driving you around Wiltshire. There was clearly no effort on your part.”

“Why you impertinent little lady,” Beatrice exclaimed, trying to remain firm, and failing miserably. Her eyes swept past them to the decanter of whisky. “Oh, jolly good. I need a little sip of the strong stuff. After the trying morning I have had, I deserve it,” she said, groaning, and walking past them to help herself, she sighed deliciously, as she sipped at the whisky. “It is past noon. But if you are so hell bent on becoming his wife, then, I am quite certain we can make arrangements with the vicar to marry you tomorrow morning.”

“That won’t be possible, Lady Tisbury,” Freddie said calmly.

“And…pray tell, why won’t that be possible?” she asked wearily, taking another sip of her whisky.

“Because…” he paused. “I do not want to marry your daughter anymore.”

“I beg your pardon?” Beatrice gasped.

Beatrice looked quickly between them, and then leveled her piercing glare on him. He felt a little intimidated. She clearly wasn’t a woman to be trifled with. There were very few people in this life that could intimidate him, and he was looking at one of them. Julia’s mother probably scared a lot of men.

Julia gasped, and all of the colour drained from her face. “You don’t mean it, Freddie…you can’t mean it…” she whispered. She finally looked as if she’d given up. She looked defeated, and that was what he’d wanted, wasn’t it?

“Julia…I don’t want to marry you until you are quite certain that you want me.” He fought to keep his voice level. He didn’t want to look weak by seeming emotional.

“I have told you I wanted you until I was nearly blue in the face. Nothing I can say or do will convince you, can it?”

“And by the looks of things, you were doing more than a modest young lady should,” Beatrice scoffed, eyeing her narrowly.

“Your daughter did nothing wrong, Lady Tisbury. She was a perfect little lady.”

“Oh, aye, and I should take your word for that, sir?”

He groaned. He hated having a lady like her call him sir. She was a noblewoman by birth. He was a beggar by birth. It made him feel as if he was someone he wasn’t.

“I always tell the truth, my lady. I might be crass and crude. Sometimes vulgar with language befitting only that of the hoi polloi, but I assure you, Madam, I never lie.”

“Even if I believe you, the rest of Castleton might not. When you decided to come here, Julia, you branded yourself with a scarlet letter. Many might think that your reputation has been tarnished.”

“Let them think it,” Julia said, waving her hand in dismissal. “I have had them wagging their tongues about me in the past. I can certainly take them gossiping about me now.”

“I don’t think you are prepared for their malicious tongues. They be shall be quite cruel. They shall be merciless,” Beatrice said.

“If anyone tries to use their mouths to hurt Julia, I’ll…I’ll bludgeon them,” he said angrily, feeling his blood start to boil.

Beatrice winced. “I have no doubt you would, Lord Axbridge. I only ask you to show some restraint. One of your blows could probably render a man of lesser strength, dead. So pray, do not act out rashly.”

“I won’t,” he said, clenching his teeth together. “Anyway, I think you ladies should leave. I’d like to get properly shot in the neck and then pass out on my bed. Alone,” he said, staring at Julia. She gave him a haughty stare, and proudly lifted her chin, and looked away from him.

Damnation.

Her hoity-toity ways made his blood warm—in a good way. He loved the way she looked when she had her nose stuck up in the air. He should have been perturbed by it, instead, he was turned on. Her uppity ways only endeared him to her, because he’d seen the real side of her, and knew that under all of that highborn spunk, she had a heart of gold. She was generous to a fault, and she and the rest of the Lovett family were quite charitable.

“Where are Uncle Edward and Aunt Alice? I thought that one, or both of them would be lending you support right now, Mama. And surely my brother should be around somewhere? Shouldn’t they all be here ready to drag me back home where I can be safe and sound?”

Beatrice snorted indelicately. “Your brother has probably gone back to Castleton Court. He decided that you would be fine. He said you were like a cat. You always land on your feet, and he said that Freddie wouldn’t hurt you, but I think he wasn’t taking this issue as seriously as he should be. As for your aunt and uncle, the dear souls are taking care of Lord Charles. I think Edward muttered something about taking him to the Duke of Stoneleigh to see if he would keep him at Avondale Abbey for us.”

“Ah, the Duke. Now there, you see, Freddie, I could have had Tobias.” She hiccupped again and put her hand over her mouth. “Pardon me,” she said, her eyes opened wide.

“Anyone with a sizable dowry could have Tobias. The problem is he hasn’t found a woman willing to deal with him, and that dusty run down Abbey he lives in,” Beatrice scoffed.

“Oh, Mama, he is going to do some repairs on it shortly, as Uncle Edward has put his hand in to help the poor man with his dire financial straits. His dibs certainly weren’t in tune until Uncle Edward took charge of things. Good old Uncle Edward.”

“Oh, aye, Edward and his Midas touch. Now, my girl, you have stalled long enough. I shan’t leave this premises without you by my side. You shall look smart, and dash upstairs and change. Now off with you,” she said sternly.

“I said, I wouldn’t, Mama. And I am not,” she said firmly.

“As you are still unmarried, Julia, that puts you under my watchful eye, so you shall obey me.”

“I am not a child, Mama.”

“Aye. Even though you are acting like one at the moment. Off with you, now!” Beatrice ordered imperiously.

Julia looked conflicted. She looked over at Freddie, begging him to side with her. The pleading look in her eyes, made his stomach churn. He couldn’t side with her…not this time.

“I think you ought to listen to your Mama, Julia. She is right. We are not married. That makes her the mistress of your life. You are not as independent as you like to believe, dearest.”

She planted her hands on her hips, and confronted her mother with her look of stubborn determination. Whatever she thought, it wasn’t going to work with Beatrice. She wasn’t that easy to sway.

“And don’t try that with me, Julia. My patience is waning. We must away back to Castleton Court.”

“Fine,” Julia’s blue eyes crackled with fire. “If you do not implore me to stay, Freddie, I shall depart, and you will be dashed sorry to see me go. Once I leave, I do not know if I shall ever be persuaded to return. Mayhap, love isn’t worth it after all. Mayhap, I should see if Tobias will marry me, because right now, I wish the devil would take both you and Charles!” She gave him one last soul searching look, and then with a muffled sob, dashed from the room.

Freddie’s heart broke, and he resisted running after her. He had to stay strong. He to stay put.

“Never mind her, son. Julia will come round soon enough. She has always had a penchant for the dramatics. I suppose that’s why she loves Shakespeare so much. Since she was a little girl, she has always known how to wrap the men in her life, around her pinky finger. Her father never needed much coaxing. All she had to do was pin those beautiful blue eyes of hers on him in a beseeching manner, and he melted, and rushed to give her whatever she wanted. Fortunately, she has never been a selfish, vain, or cruel creature. She has always been nicer than I ever was, or am, so when he lavished her with everything she wanted, it didn’t spoil her rotten. And she has aspirations that I never possessed.

“She has her Moonrakers Ladies Society, and I admit the only thing that appeals to me about that is the brandy they drink at meetings, for the rest of the stuff bores me almost to death. I do not care about the latest poetry or other works of literature. I was never one to lose myself in a book, and I was always too preoccupied with the latest gossip and worried about all of the social events I could attend. Julia likes those things too, but she is a well-rounded lady, and I believe that she would have made you a fine wife. She overlooks your past…and only wishes to look to the future.”

“I was never good enough for her, Lady Tisbury. Lord Charles is much better suited to be her husband. He fits into her world far better than I do.”

“Devil take that blasted man! Lord Charles might have a kindly nature, but I do not believe he is better suited for her. You are the man meant for Julia. You are the one that fills her life with joy. You are the one that makes her eyes light up. He shall have to find his own way in this world, because I do not want him latching onto Julia again. I shall eye that match bitterly, sir. Do you understand?”

“I think you ought to reconsider, my lady. Put your support behind the man who has the breeding, class, and proper accent. I have none of those three things. I might have become educated thanks to Colonel Elliot, Micah and Lewis, but I am still quite a common man.”

“I don’t think that. I think you are quite uncommon, Lord Axbridge. And, I shall always support you in the battle for Julia’s heart, because I once turned my back on true love. I married a man who loved me more than I loved him, and while it worked out fairly nicely for me…it was rather unfair for the Earl. He deserved more. He deserved a wife who adored him, not a wife who came to loathe his very presence in her life. So, pray, don’t commit my daughter to that kind of an existence. Throw your lot in with her, and do it as quickly as possible, before she starts to dream about the love she always believed existed between her and Charles. She was infatuated with him, nothing more. You…you are the one who showed her what real love was.”

“And yet, I have only known her a short few months. I don’t think we’ve had enough time to say that she could love me with the kind of soul abiding love she has for Charles.”

“I can see why my daughter was so vexed. It is rather like hitting one’s skull against the wall when talking to you, Lord Axbridge. I think I shall finish this excellent whisky, and then, I shall be off.”

“I am ready to depart, Mama.”

Freddie looked to where Julia stood in the doorway. She had a portmanteau in her hands, and looked as if she had had a good cry. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy.

He felt bloody loathsome. He was a bloody arsehole.

“Ah, splendid. As am I,” the Countess said, finishing off the last drop of whisky in her glass. She put her glass down, and walked to stand beside Julia.

“Farewell, Freddie,” Julia whispered.

“Goodbye, Julia,” he whispered, as she turned around and left.

He felt empty inside. All of the hell he’d been put through in his life, in no way compared to how awful he felt right now. He had just lost the woman of his dreams. He had just lost the mistress of his heart.

*****

Julia and Beatrice rode in silence away from Wilton Park. Julia stared listlessly out the window, as the landscape rolled by. She felt sick inside. Her life was ruined. If she couldn’t have Freddie, then, she didn’t know what else she wanted out of life. She didn’t even know if she wanted to reacquaint herself with Charles. He looked like a stranger to her, and though he sounded familiar, the knots in her stomach warned her against falling for him again.

“What shall you do now, Julia?” her mother asked softly, at last breaking the uncomfortable quiet.

She looked away from the window and settled her gaze on her mother. Her mother looked as wretched as she felt.

“I think I shall become a spinster, Mama.”

Beatrice served her with a woebegone look. The pity in her eyes didn’t even make Julia feel small the way it usually did.

“If you won’t have Freddie, then, maybe, that is for the best,” her mother decided. “I don’t want to see you go back to Charles. His family is horrid, and as close as you are to our family, I do not think you could put up with those awful people, and you’d probably have to move away from here.”

Her mother’s words made her think. She wanted to hole herself up in her bedchamber and never come out, but the world wouldn’t wait for her to cry, and nurse her broken heart forever.

“It isn’t that I won’t have Freddie, he won’t have me.”

“Mayhap, Julia…mayhap, he has to see what he has lost. I wonder…jealousy always has worked well in the past to show men how imbecilic they have been.”

“I don’t think he would fall for that kind of a trap, Mama.”

“Oh, I beg to differ. He thinks he can handle losing you to Charles, but I do wonder how he would feel if he actually saw you on his arm.”

“I shan’t be that petty, Mama. I want Freddie honestly. I want him to want me.”

“Oh, he does want you, my dear. He is only battling with the monster inside of him that makes him feel unworthy of you.”

“Freddie told me that he was common. Born a beggar, that he was a street rat, and a guttersnipe.”

“I expect, deep down, after he saw Lord Charles that he feels as if he isn’t worthy to kiss your feet.”

“Mayhap,” she said tiredly. She felt bone weary. After being rejected by Freddie, she only wanted to climb into her bed and sleep for days. “Mama?”

“Yes, Julia?”

“When we get back to Castleton Court…I would like to retire to my bedchamber and not be disturbed for days.”

“Oh, Julia. You can’t make yourself sick over this latest mess. You should face your troubles.”

“Maybe I will. But right now, I want to shut the world away. Can’t you understand that, Mama?”

Her mother’s eyes filled with sadness. “Aye. I suppose I can. I will let you have a few days to feel sorry for yourself. After which, you will have to deal with Lord Charles. That man isn’t going to go away easily. He will hound you, Julia.”

“Let him try,” she sighed. Her heart broke, as she remembered how much she had loved Charles. She had placed him on a pedestal, and held him to a high ideal. All other men had paled in comparison, until she’d met Freddie, and then, then, Freddie had become her Prince—her Knight in Shining Armour. And though he wasn’t born a nobleman, he had a noble bearing, and treated her so tenderly.