His By Christmas (Hamilton Sisters) (19 page)

Yvette felt comforted just by Jeffrey’s presence. She had come to rely on him and looked forward to his visits each day and their private dinners together each night.

The fact that her mother was recovering so well was the only reason she had agreed to come to Lansdowne Manor today. And now that she was here, Yvette found herself longing to be back at home with Jeffrey.

The thought startled her.

Longing to be at home with Jeffrey?

What a surprising thing to want. But she supposed it was true. After spending so much time together she missed his company. His handsome smile. His comforting presence.

Something had changed between them since the night she had slept in his arms. They talked more, confided in each other more. And there was something else. Something she couldn’t quite define. A shift, a change, a spark. There was an excitement within her whenever Jeffrey was near. She found herself anticipating his visits and when he did arrive at Devon House, she enjoyed their time alone together more than anything else. Especially since they had taken to having supper together each night.

She didn’t think it was her imagination that things had changed between them. He was behaving differently toward her. He no longer treated her as a little girl, but more as an equal. She noted he found excuses to be near her, to touch her arm or her hand, and she didn’t mind in the least. She half expected Jeffrey to kiss her. She was both dreading and wishing for that moment to happen. For kissing Jeffrey was an intriguing prospect and she found herself thinking about it more often than was decent.

What would it be like to have a man such as Jeffrey kiss her? He had kissed so many women he must be quite skilled at it. Her heart started racing at the thought of his lips on hers.

Heavens! She should not be thinking about kissing Jeffrey Eddington! Her attention and thoughts should be completely on Lord Shelley.

William. Who sat here with his two prospective brides! Surely he should have made up his mind by now! Yvette almost wanted to slap him.

“Is it too cold?” he asked both ladies. “Should I escort you back to the house where you can get properly warmed?”

“Whatever you think best, William,” Jane Fairmont said with a dainty toss of her head. “If you are staying out here, I shall be happy to remain here with you.”

Yvette knew the girl had to be feeling quite chilled and was only making a point to stay because William was. Yvette tried to work the situation to her advantage. She needed to get William alone for a little bit and if Jane was staying put, then Yvette would leave.

“Are you staying out here, William?” Yvette asked softly, using his first name to show Jane that she could.

He nodded. “Yes, as host I feel I should be out here with my guests.”

“Of course you should remain with your guests,” Yvette agreed. “But would you mind terribly walking me to the house? I am quite chilled.” She smiled prettily at him.

William must have been as anxious to end this little threesome as she was for he immediately rose to his feet. “Yes, of course I shall walk you to the house, Yvette. Would you mind waiting until I return, Jane?”

“Not at all.” She grinned through clenched teeth.

Yvette smiled back in triumph. Jane could stay here and freeze. Yvette was going inside to get warm and having a private walk with William after all. She took his arm as he led her down the steps of the gazebo and along the snow-swept path to the manor house.

The December wind swirled snow around them and Yvette shivered in spite of herself and hugged her fur muff closer to her chest. They were in a copse of thick evergreen trees about halfway to the house when William spoke.

“I’m so pleased you were able to come skating today, Yvette. I was worried you wouldn’t be able to leave your mother,” William said.

“Yes, so was I, but she’s much recovered now. And I find that it’s wonderful to be out with people again,” Yvette responded with a smile. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“I’m very happy to see you. I’ve missed you very much, Yvette.”

“Thank you. It’s good to see you again too, William.”

“I shall be attending Lady Deane’s party tomorrow. Will you?”

“Yes, I believe I will be able to attend.” Yvette hadn’t left her mother alone at night yet, and going to the ball would mean missing one of her dinners with Jeffrey, but she had to make more of an effort if she wanted Lord Shelley to propose.

“Then I shall look forward to seeing you there.” He hesitated a moment before saying, “Yvette, I feel I owe you an apology.”

“An apology?” she asked, a bit confused.

“Yes.” Clearing his throat, he looked into her eyes briefly before continuing. “I would like you to know that I was not expecting to see Jane Fairmont today. In fact I did not invite her here.”

Yvette came to a halt. She turned and faced him. “Didn’t you?”

Looking rather embarrassed, he said sheepishly, “No, I didn’t. My mother invited her without checking with me first. I’ve a feeling it’s been terribly awkward for you with Jane here and I’m very sorry about that.”

Yvette did not know what to say. She stared mutely at him, a sense of triumph flooding her. William wanted her after all! He still preferred her to Jane! Why, Jane Fairmont, sitting alone in the cold gazebo, was someone William hadn’t wanted there! A slow smile spread across her face.

“You take my breath away, Yvette.”

“Do I?”

“Yes, most assuredly. I had hoped I was clear in my feelings for you.”

“I admit I felt quite uncertain when I saw her here with you today,” she said softly, searching his hazel eyes for confirmation of his feelings.

With a most serious expression, he took her in his arms and the warmth of him surrounded her. “May I make you perfectly certain of my feelings now, Miss Yvette Hamilton?”

It was evident that William intended to kiss her, so Yvette lifted her face to him. She stood perfectly still as his mouth covered hers. He pulled her closer to him and his lips pressed against hers. She wondered if he was going to put his tongue in her mouth as he did last time and she wasn’t sure she wanted him to. Aside from the thrill of victory at winning him from Jane Fairmont, Yvette felt oddly . . . empty while kissing him. He was her future husband and she had hoped she would feel something more momentous when he kissed her. Oh, it felt nice to be held by strong arms, which shielded her from the cold wind. And the kissing wasn’t unpleasant, but it wasn’t at all like the kisses her sisters had described to her.

“Oh, Yvette,” William murmured against her lips before plunging his tongue in her mouth.

She allowed him to do so, even lightly touching her tongue against his. The kiss seemed to last a very long time. Yvette put her arms around his neck, remembering that he liked when she did that. How odd that he seemed to find their kisses so wonderful and she did not. She kissed him back a little, waiting patiently for it to be over.

After what seemed like an eternity, he pulled away from her. “You have no idea how you make me feel, Yvette.”

William hugged her tightly and she rested her head against his chest, snuggling against the thick wool coat for warmth, wishing she could feel that warmth within her own heart.

19

The Comforts of Home

When she returned to Devon House after skating later that day, Yvette knew she should be happy. William had declared his feelings for her quite clearly, and he’d kissed her. She should be thrilled. Instead she felt inexplicably out of sorts and irritable.

Jeffrey was waiting for her when she arrived home. His handsome face lit up when he saw her. “There’s my girl.”

She smiled in spite of herself at his sweet greeting and she instantly felt better. There was something special about being called
his girl
. With his black hair combed back and his blue eyes twinkling, he looked remarkably gorgeous in his dark dinner jacket. She found that she liked looking at him. “Hello, Jeffrey.”

Giving her a wink, he held out his arm. “Granger has kept supper waiting for us. So let’s go upstairs, shall we?”

They had continued the habit of taking their evening meal together in the little sitting room across from her mother’s bedroom. Holding his arm, Yvette walked beside Jeffrey up the wide marble steps. She asked, “How’s Mother today? How long have you been here? I didn’t expect to be out quite so late.”

“Apparently, Fanny wore your mother out this afternoon. She could barely keep her eyes open to talk to me when I arrived about two hours ago and she’s already asleep for the night. Lisette just went home. And you are not late at all. You deserved a day out.”

Relieved that her mother was well, Yvette knew that Genevieve had been in good hands with Fanny, Lisette, and Jeffrey. Idly, she wondered when her sisters would finally return home. It could be any day now. Part of her wished for them to hurry and a part of her had grown to enjoy having the run of the house. She had been in charge of her mother’s care and had truly managed Devon House on her own since Colette and Lucien had been gone.

She and Jeffrey arrived at the little sitting room, where a fire burned cheerily and the table was elegantly set for two with tapered candles flickering in the center. He held out her chair and she took a seat. This intimate setting had been their private retreat each evening and Yvette found herself looking forward to spending her evenings with Jeffrey this way. However, they had never spent all night together again. Jeffrey always left at a respectable hour.

He sat across from her now and lifted his glass in a toast. Yvette raised her glass of red wine as well. “What shall we drink to tonight?”

His blue eyes questioned her. “Well, how did your outing go?”

“Fine.”

Jeffrey sensed her reluctance to discuss the day’s events at Lansdowne Manor and expertly changed the topic. “Let’s drink to us, then, shall we?”

“To us?” she asked, a flutter of excitement welling within her at his use of the word
us
.

“Yes. The past few weeks we’ve grown to be very close friends.” He gave her a knowing glance.

“We have, indeed.” She smiled, filled with unexpected joy. “To us.”

“To us.”

They sipped their wine and enjoyed their supper together, speaking of her mother’s improvement and discussing whether Colette and Juliette might arrive from America before Paulette returned from Ireland.

“Are you not going to tell me?” he finally asked.

Yvette looked up from her roast beef. “Tell you what?”

“What happened at Lansdowne Manor today? You did not seem happy when you came in.” His eyes stayed on her.

Yvette set down her fork with a sigh. “Jane Fairmont was there.”

“Ah. The rival.”

“It upset me, even though William assured me that he was not the one who invited her.”

Skeptical, Jeffrey raised one dark eyebrow.

She ignored his dubious look. “His mother invited her without telling him.”

“So what is the problem then?” he asked.

“Nothing. It’s just . . .” She shook her head.

“It’s just what, Yvette?”

“It’s not what I thought it would be, I suppose.”

His gaze was very intent on her. “I thought this was what you wanted?”

“Yes, I know, but none of it is how I imagined it to be. . . .” She felt her cheeks redden as she pushed her food around on her plate with her fork, no longer hungry. An odd feeling settled in her stomach. It was so difficult not to confide in Jeffrey when she longed to know his thoughts on the subject.

“Out with it,” he commanded with his most charming smile. “If you can’t tell me, who can you tell?”

Yvette sighed. “Well, it’s rather personal and normally I would discuss something such as this with one of my sisters.” She sipped her wine.

“They are not here. And I am.”

She looked into his eyes. Yvette’s heart fluttered at the intensity she saw within them. “Yes, you’re here.”

“So tell me. Or let me guess.” His expression suddenly turned dark. “Did old Shelley kiss you again?”

“He’s not that old.” Her face burned and she glanced away. “And yes, he did.”

“Then what’s the problem?” he asked politely, but there was an edge to his voice. “Isn’t that what you wanted him to do?”

“Well, yes of course.” She paused before adding, “It’s just that kissing him is not what I imagined it would be like.”

“What do you mean?”

Yvette took another sip of wine before making her confession. “My sisters described kissing a man as something quite extraordinary, and exciting . . . magical even, and . . . well, I just don’t feel anything special when William kisses me.”

“You’re disappointed.” He half smiled at her.

“Yes,” she blurted out, staring at his mouth. She wondered what Jeffrey’s lips felt like. They looked most appealing. She had the wildest impulse to reach across the table and touch them with her fingers. But of course, she did no such thing. “I expected so much more. I expected to be swept off my feet or to feel like I would swoon. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?”

He answered rather slowly. “I suppose I do.”

“Don’t you feel that way when you kiss a woman? Don’t you feel something special?”

Jeffrey shook his head, suddenly looking a little uncomfortable. “What I feel when I kiss a woman is desire. I think the feelings you are describing are part of being in love.”

“But I felt nothing,” she said in a small voice. “Nothing at all. Shouldn’t I have felt
something
when William kissed me?”

“You’re not in love with him, Yvette.”

She remained silent. Her feelings for William were confusing. He was a good man, an attractive man. She wanted to be his wife and she wanted desperately to be in love with him. All signs pointed to him being in love with her, which is exactly what she had wished for. Then why wasn’t she happier about it? Perhaps it would be easier if she knew what being in love was supposed to feel like.

With a heavy sigh Yvette rose from the table and walked to the fireplace. “Perhaps there’s something wrong with me,” she murmured, biting her lip.