Him (5 page)

I have absolutely no idea what is happening in the movie anymore. It is taking all o
f my willpower to not shift my leg closer to his hand. Maybe he doesn’t even know he's touching me. I don’t want to risk him moving his hand away. I just want to stay in this moment forever. I'm so preoccupied, I do not realize Kyle is putting his arm around me until Will's face snaps in my direction, and he glares at Kyle's hand. Does that mean? Could it mean? I feel like a horrible person. I have one guy’s arm around me, and all I'm thinking about is moving my leg closer to Will, who is sitting next to his girlfriend. Sure, he did say he was thinking about breaking up with her, but had he? No.

It
is that thought that makes me finally move my leg, not to, but away from his hand. He looks down at my leg before picking his hand up and putting it in his lap. I should be relieved, but instead, I'm kicking myself for pulling away. There is a part of me that will do anything to be near him. Unfortunately, there is another part of me fighting that desire by reminding me just how pathetic it makes me. I try in vain to get back into the movie, but I can't. I'm almost hyper aware of Kyle's arm around me, and unlike Will's touch, it just makes me feel weird. Plus, his cologne or body spray is bugging me. I'm thrilled once the end credits start rolling.

Kyle reaches for my hand once we are out of our row. I pretend I have to go to the bathroom to get away. Jessica follows me
. Great. At least the bathroom is full, so she won't be able to tell that I don’t actually have to go. I stand in a stall for a bit before flushing and meeting her at the sinks.

"I think Kyle likes you
." She smiles at me.

"Really?"
I know he put his arm around me, but he doesn’t even know me.

"Yep, and I've heard he's a really good kisser."

My mouth drops. I can't explain it, but even though Kyle seems nice enough, I know in that moment that I have zero interest in kissing him. She must think my expression means the idea excites me because she winks at me and saunters away. I look after her, taking in her perfect hair and clothes. Why do I waste my time pining after Will? I could never compete with her. I can't even imagine how prefect this other girl must be if he's thinking about dumping Jessica for her. I'd like nothing better than to go home and pull my blanket over my head.

Once I make my way over to where they are waiting
, Will says the one thing that could make me feel better. "Ice cream?"

I don’t want to hold Kyle's hand
, so I pretend to look for something in my purse as a way to keep them occupied while we walk to Will's car. We pile in, and Will drives to our favorite ice cream place. We have been going there forever and always get the same thing. It's a bit out of the way, and I'm surprised when Jessica says she's never been there. I look up and catch Will looking at me in the rearview mirror. I'm secretly happy he's never brought her here, until now. Kyle and Jessica check out the menu while Will orders and pays for my cone. I bump my hip into him. He is such a punk. I know he's only doing it to annoy Kyle. I chat with Jim, who works there, while he waits for Kyle and Jessica to make up their minds.

"You kids are graduating this year
, right?" he asks.

I nod
, finishing my bite.

"So where are you going to school?"

Will has just taken a bite, so I answer for the both of us. "I'm going to Georgia State, and Will's going to the University of Georgia."

"Why aren’t you going there too? I can't picture you two going different places."

Jessica's head whips towards Jim, and she walks over to Will, putting her arm around his waist and leaning into him. I have a sudden urge to vomit.

"Don’t worry
. I'll be there to take care of Will."

I'm already broken up about Will going away to school without me
. It is almost too much to think Jessica will be there with him. I'm not the best student, and my parents can't afford to send me away to college. By going to State, I can still live at home and pay for most of it myself from money I have saved up over the years and if I get a part-time job. Also, since I'm a Georgia resident, I qualify for the HOPE scholarship. I just need to save up money before I can think of living anywhere else. Besides, it's only for a couple years. I might have enough saved up by then to transfer to University of Georgia for my junior year. The campus is only an hour and a half away. I'm hoping I'll still get to see him on weekends and stuff.

Will pays for Jessica and Kyle's ice cream
, and we all go outside to eat. Jim mouths sorry to me as I walk out the door. He has no idea. Will is done with his ice cream before anyone else and is quieter than normal, just leaning back in his chair and chewing on the side of his bottom lip. Part of me is judging both Jessica and Kyle for getting their ice cream in bowls. Will and I always get waffle cones. We are clearly the superior ice cream connoisseurs.

Once we are all done with our ice cream
, we leave. Kyle asks if we want to hang out at his house, but I pretend like I have a headache. Will says that his mom needs him for something, and Jessica doesn’t want to go without Will. Kyle gets dropped off first, and for a brief moment, I wonder if he's going to try and kiss me but instead he gives me a limp hug. My arms stay at my sides as I make no move to hug him back. That doesn’t seem to bother him, though, and he asks if he can call me sometime. I freeze before stammering out my number. He waves bye to Jessica and Will as he walks up his driveway.

"I told you he likes you
," Jessica says, looking back at me.

I
shrug, kind of wishing I hadn’t given him my number, even more so when I get a text notification. I pull out my phone.

"Oh
my gosh, is that from Kyle?" Jessica gushes.

After checking it
, I nod. Jessica is grinning until the car stops, and she realizes we're at her house.

"Babe
," she whines. "I thought you were going to drop me off last."

Will
shrugs. "We were going right by your house."

"I thought you could come in for a minute
." She puts her hand on his leg and pouts.

I start to wonder how my waffle cone will feel coming back up.

He pats her hand with one hand and starts hacking like he's about to lose a lung, covering his mouth with the other. "I think I'm coming down with something. I don’t want to get you sick."

She glances back at me, her face hard. "Okay babe
. Call me later." She blows him a kiss and sashays up her driveway, probably shaking her butt on purpose. I stay in the back, thinking it would be super weird to jump into the front seat now.

"Coming up front?"

"Are you sure it's okay?" I watch Jessica's front door close.

"Don’t' be a dork, get up here
," he says patting the passenger seat.

I groan before unbuckling my belt and bolting around the car to the front. Will is laughing at me as I practically dive into the front s
eat and buckle my belt. "Alright, let's go."

"You're crazy, you know that right?"
He's shaking his head. "Possibly certifiable." He pronounces the t like tea.

I shrug
. I don’t know why, but I feel weird about her seeing me in the front seat. It's like I stole her spot. Does not help that the seat is still warm. I'm skeeved out. Will doesn’t say anything as we drive to my house, just changes the station back to his favorite.

He starts to turn the music up but stops and looks at me
. "How's your head?"

I inhale and spin my ring
. "I kinda lied about my head hurting."

I look up at him
, and he's grinning. "That's cool, I lied about my mom needing me."

I'm suspicious now
. "And your cough?"

He laughs. What a liar, but I
lied too so what does that say about me? I'm not surprised when Will gets out and follows me into my house once we get there. He practically lives here. My mom and dad are hanging out in the backyard with my Uncle Chip. Will and I wave at them as we go to camp out in the family room. Brian is already there watching the news. He's in college now and tries to act so grown up. He's three years older than me and goes to State. He thinks he wants to be a lawyer. All I know is, that is a lot more school than I'm interested in.

"Can we watch something interesting?" I grumble.

"This is interesting." He's dead serious.

Will and I just give him blank stares.

"Don’t you two even care that Social Security will probably be depleted by the time any of us need it?"

Will's mouth drops open
, and I look at him "My room?"

He nods. We head back towards the kitchen since the stairs up to the bedrooms is on the other side of it. My Uncle Chip is in there and slips us each a beer. Will and I thank him before taking off to my room. He flops across my bed as I close the door behind us. My room is small
, and it feels even smaller with Will in it. I sit at my desk, spinning the chair to face him as I open my beer.

"I'm going to call Jessica."

"Do you want some privacy?" I ask, getting up.

He smirks at me and shakes his head
. "I'm breaking up with her."

I gasp
. "I don’t want to be in the room while you do that."

"Why not?
I thought you didn’t like her."

He's right
. I should be all over this, but I just can't. Right now I feel bad for her, and even though she has totally done some pretty mean things to me in the past, it just doesn’t feel right.

"I just think you should have that conversation face to face. I think you would feel bad after the fact if you hurt her feelings."

He shakes his head, but I can tell he is thinking about what I said. "But her feelings are going to get hurt either way."

"I get that
, but don’t you want to do what you can to make it not so bad?"

He sits up, opens his beer
, and takes a deep swig before leaning back against my pillows. "I thought you didn’t like her."

I swivel my chair left and right
. "I don’t like her, but I still think you should be nice to her." I will not admit how rotten those words feel coming out.

There were times I had dreamed about someone taking Jessica down a few pegs. I let Will think about what I've said while I drink my beer. He laughs when I burp.

I shrug, mumbling, "’Scuse me," before taking another swig. Beer always makes me burpy.

He finishes his beer and makes a basket with his can in my trash can. I jump up, almost dropping my beer. My trash can is right next to my desk, and metal.

"You suck." I walk over and hand him my beer. He finishes it for me as I sit on the other side of my bed. It follows his into the trash can with a bang.

"So are you still going to do it over the phone?"

He chews the side of his lip and shakes his head.

Chapter 5

Present

Will walks
with me to baggage claim. It is almost poetic. He doesn’t have any checked luggage, only a small duffle-style carryon. As usual, I am the one with baggage both literal and figurative. As a frequent traveler, I normally don’t check luggage but given the length of this trip, it is necessary. I secretly have a thrill in being able to use the big rolling suitcase that came with my set for the first time. I love my suitcases. I travel so much I splurged on hard-shelled cherry red ones. We wait near the mouth of the belt. I sense myself wanting to lean into him. This is madness. I first off cannot believe he was on my flight and now the fact that we are standing here, together, right now. We quietly wait for the first bag to drop.

I see him check his watch
. "I feel awful for keeping you. Why don’t you just go ahead? I can get a cab or figure out MARTA." There is no way I am riding the MARTA train, but maybe it will make Will think I know what I’m doing so he won’t feel obligated to give me a ride.

"Sarah
." His blue eyes study me. "Don’t be silly. I'm not letting you get a cab."

"You're not letting me?"

He smirks at me.

"Fine, wait. Just don’t be so bossy."

All at once, I'm in a giant bear hug of his arms. What? God, his chest is absurdly solid, and he smells heavenly. His arms release me, and he grins. "I've really missed you, Sarah."

It is
like a punch in the gut. Being here, Will, all of these emotions. I am trying my best to maintain some semblance of composure around him. I say nothing, eyes glued to the mouth of the conveyor belt and nod. I'm too shitless to look into his eyes right now. He is just too familiar. I'm tense. I wonder if I look like a crazy person, all bunched up in the shoulders, standing next to Will with his easy confidence. It must be so simple for him. He’s known how to command the attention of a room for as long as I've known him. I had the biggest crush on him during middle school and then high school and maybe now. Shit, don’t judge.