"And still you think I doona care for you."
"Lust and love are two very different things." Now what had made her say that?
"Love?" He arched a brow and she flushed.
Trying to seem nonchalant, Mackenzie played it off, "It's an expression."
Connor was quiet for a long time. Long pauses made her nervous and she was about to break the silence when he finally spoke, "It seems I have a lot to apologize for."
"You? Apologize?" Mackenzie couldn't keep the disbelief from her face.
Connor looked into her wide shocked eyes and demanded,
"Come to supper with me tonight."
Mackenzie was too surprised to do anything but stare. Her mouth may have been hanging open; to be honest, she couldn't tell. He wanted her to go to dinner with him? Was this like a date type of dinner? Or was it an "I feel guilty about keeping you prisoner" type of dinner? Definitely the latter. She doubted that dinner had the same connotation here that it did in her time. She didn't want his sympathy.
And he was still waiting for an answer.
"No, thank you." Mackenzie said it as softly and demurely as she could.
His eyebrows flew up in disbelief. "You'd rather stay in here?"
"I'd rather not have your pity."
"Now you think I pity you?" He sounded as if he couldn't decide whether to be amused or annoyed.
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"Verily, I am sorry that I have no' been more," he seemed to struggle with the last word, "cordial. Would you give me the pleasure of joining me for supper?"
"That was very polite, Connor, but still, no."
"It is entirely maddening to try to hold a conversation with you. Most women would agree to accompany me to dine, and enjoy a pleasant evening."
"I'm not most women," she said tartly, a little miffed that he wanted her to behave like one of the mindless girls who apparently worshipped at his feet.
Connor was thoughtful for a second, "Nay, that you're no', are you? Hmm..."
"And don't expect me to pretend to be."
He looked surprised that she would jump to that conclusion. "I'd never ask you to change, Mackenzie, it's not your nature. Regardless, would you sup with me?"
Mackenzie thought for a moment, "You're not going to give up, are you?"
"Nay."
She sighed, "All right, let's go." She walked ahead of him, so she didn't see his smile.
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Dinner was a quiet event with just the two of them in a more intimate and formal dining room than the Great Hall.
Connor sat across from Mackenzie and she enjoyed the food for the first time since she could remember. It was some kind of meat, mutton probably, and an array of potatoes, vegetables and bread. She drank wine, and by the end of dinner was feeling a little tipsy. Mackenzie didn't know how many cups she'd had because her glass had never been empty. And when Connor looked at her over his own glass of wine, it had been easy to pretend that he felt about her the way she felt about him. She knew by now that she was really close to falling in love with him. And as much as it hurt for him to believe the worst in her, she couldn't help her feelings.
It was like she was on the edge of a cliff and the ground was falling out from under her. To fall would be the easy way; falling in love with Connor. But trying to hold on with the earth crumbling out from under her was so hard. She knew that she was fighting a losing battle by trying to keep her heart out of this. When she looked at him over the table, candles glowing and wine flowing, Mackenzie knew that she would lose that battle tonight.
Connor asked Mackenzie if she was finished, and came around the table to stand behind Mackenzie's chair. He held her chair as she stood, and then offered his arm to her. She kept his gaze as he led her to the French doors, and they stepped outside.
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She nodded and kept her eyes on his. They started along the battlement, and wandered slowly, the only sound the swish of her skirts. The weather had gotten much colder than when she'd first arrived in Scotland, but standing next to Connor she didn't feel the cold. All she could feel was the incredible heat coming off his body.
It had been days since they had had any contact with each other, but if she had hoped time would change her reactions to his proximity, she was wrong. Every time their arms brushed, and where her fingers lightly curled around his bicep, that heat scorched right through to her bones.
Mackenzie lifted her skirts to climb down the stairs, and shivered as the wind that swept off the water crept up her skirts to her bare legs (she hadn't liked the wool stockings that women here favored, and instead went bare-legged).
Connor took her hand with his and wrapped his other arm around her waist.
At first, Mackenzie didn't realize that they had stopped walking, but she felt the wind much stronger on her face now that they were in the courtyard. A sudden arctic blast tore the pins from her hair and whipped it across her face. In a surprisingly tender gesture, Connor caught a few strands and tucked them behind her ear. It unraveled her willpower that much more. When he faced her now, there was no animosity, no anger, there was only hunger. It wasn't the emotion she'd hoped for, but it was enough.
For now. It would have to be.
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Connor's lips seduced her. They teased hers open and his tongue took over the seduction. First it traced the outline of hers, and she could feel his breath on her lips. It darted in and tangled with hers. She thought she might go insane if he couldn't stop this burning inside her. Finally he braided his hand into her hair and plunged his tongue into her mouth, leaving no doubt as to what he wanted. His other hand reached down the front of her gown and he rubbed his thumb across her nipple, rolling it into a tight peak. He smiled against her lips at her gasp, and he lowered his head to her breast and flicked his tongue across her tight bead. This time she moaned, and leaned her head back so he could feast more fully on her body. But he withdrew his hand and wrapped his arms around her, once more taking her mouth in a fierce passionate kiss.
He pressed her against the wall of the castle, and she didn't even feel the cold stones at her back. There was only the heat between the two of them, and the feel of his body against hers. The fever in her veins. When Connor wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her to meet his lips, she 166
But Connor pulled back and gazed deeply into her eyes.
"What?" Mackenzie mouthed; she had no breath for words.
He smiled slightly and said, "Unless you'd like for me to take you here against the wall in front of God and everyone, mayhap we should go inside."
Mackenzie turned her startled gaze to the empty courtyard. Truthfully she'd forgotten where they were. "Oh,"
it seemed anticlimactic, but it was all she could manage.
His quiet laughter shook her body with his. She could tell that he knew she'd been completely oblivious to their surroundings.
Damn him
. He could have taken her right up against the wall of the keep and she wouldn't have minded one bit. Oh well, she'd stopped caring about what he thought of her. Her pride had fallen with her willpower at dinner, and it was now enough that he desired her. This place and time 167
Connor placed her on her feet next to her bed and stood back to stare at her for a moment. Mackenzie assumed that it was a chance for her to say no, or to tell him to stop, but she gazed boldly right back at him. She didn't want to stop him this time. She could tell when he recognized her assent, that she wasn't going to stop him, because he inhaled sharply and stiffened slightly. He had expected her refusal again, but the look in her eyes was acceptance enough, and he slowly pulled her to him.
He groaned as his head descended to hers, yet his lips were surprisingly gentle. Mackenzie pressed herself closer to him, her hands gripping his upper arms. She wanted the feel of skin on skin. The previously cold air now felt unbearably hot and sultry. The heat that Connor brought with him was seeping through her layers of clothing into her skin. She desperately needed to feel his skin, and he must have felt the same because he had her simple kirtle and gown unlaced and off in one smooth motion while his hands made quick work of her stays.
His lips were on hers before she could slip off her shift, her hands trapped between their bodies as he crushed her to him.
She was clutching the front of his shirt when her knees gave out, but his arms were like steel, and he held her tightly.
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Her eyes flew to his. Connor held her gaze and flicked his tongue out again, and again. Mackenzie moaned and her eyes rolled back into her head. It was the most intimate, erotic moment of her life. Connor's hands gripped her hips to hold her still, and he plunged his tongue inside her. Mackenzie gasped and her hips lifted slightly off the bed. But Connor pressed her back into the mattress and his tongue mated with her in such splendid agony. She wanted more. Mackenzie's hands were clutching the pillow behind her head, and she moved them to Connor's shoulders to pull his mouth back to 169
"Why are you here, Mackenzie?"
Her eyes fluttered, "Huh?" Words made no sense to her right now.
Connor moved his fingers again, and pressed his lips to her throat, "What is it you want from me?"
"I...oh God, Connor...I want..."she squirmed against his hand, "this, you, oh I want you..." She clenched her thighs around him.
"Why are you really here?" she could feel the movement of his lips against her skin and the warmth of his breath as he spoke. It both tingled and aroused.
"I want," her eyes were dazed, and she ran a hand over her face, "umm...I want to help you..." His fingers never stopped and she was so close; what was he doing to her? "I can help..."
So close
... "Oh I can't think...I can distract him...buy you time to kill him...oh please Connor!" Mackenzie was pressing his hand tightly against her, pleading through dazed eyes.
Connor flicked his thumb across her swollen bud and gave her the release she so desperately craved. As she shuddered and stilled, Connor shrugged out of his clothes with a wicked smile playing about his lips, "I'm no' finished with you yet."
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But then Connor moved, and oh, it felt so wonderful. He filled her, as he sheathed himself to the hilt. And when he lifted almost all the way out, she pressed her hands to the small of his back to bring him back down. It was unnecessary; he'd already plunged down into her again, and again, and again.
He took her with long, deep, slow strokes, as if he could spend the whole night doing only that. She was climbing up, higher and higher. Mackenzie thought that she couldn't take it anymore. Connor's mouth claimed hers as she felt that first glorious wave of ecstasy hit. Then another, and another until she exploded and it felt like she was falling. She could feel Connor driving himself into her over and over until she felt his pulsing release as she fell back to Earth.
There was something timeless about being in a castle with Connor. It made her think of all of the men and women who had and who would make love in this room. She was a girl out of her own time, but feeling like she belonged nonetheless.