In a crack of a second.
Both of them breaking together like ocean waves. He was a surfer and she was the tunnel. He was in her and she was around him and they were one, riding together in a glorious, indescribable shoot-out. His cock jerked. Her body collapsed against his. They were panting and soaking wet.
He tightened his grip around her waist and slowly, they sank down to the bottom of the shower, the water—gone cold now—beating softly against their heated skin.
Adam lay on his stomach in her bed, his arms thrown across her waist, his face buried in the pillow. Just looking at him made her heart skip erratically.
What in the hell have you done?
She’d sworn to herself that she was not going to sleep with him this soon. That this time she was going to take things slow, not jump headlong into a relationship with a man she did not really know and poof! Look what she’d done.
This was a disaster.
She lay in the weak light of dawn, staring at the ceiling, her body achy in all the right places, her brain working overtime trying to find a way out of this. God, did she not possess one ounce of self-control? When he’d shown up on her doorstep, soaked to the skin, looking wild and ravenous, her knees had almost buckled.
And when he’d clamped his palms around her face and kissed her like it was the end of the world, hell, she’d been noodle soup. Who could have resisted such a fierce seduction from such a quiet man? She’d reduced him to beastly behavior and she’d thrilled in her power.
That fact was disturbing in and of itself. Never mind that she was having all kinds of feelings she couldn’t define. This was scary stuff and she had to find a way out of it.
A coyote would gnaw its leg off.
What are you so afraid of?
A clear voice in the back of her mind asked the question, but she had no rational answer. Honestly, she was scared he could be The One. That this could be right. That he, that she…
She was afraid to express what she really wanted. She was afraid to hope.
So many times in her life she’d gotten her hopes up, only to have them dashed. She’d loved that town in New Mexico, where her mother had moved in with a guy who’d driven a purple hearse.
She’d made friends. They’d lived in a bungalow at the base of a mountain. She’d planned on learning to ski. Then before the first good snow, her mother had said she had restless feet. The guy who drove the hearse was too clingy. She needed air or she couldn’t breathe. She’d bought a ragtag car from a used car lot, stuck Eva in the backseat and taken off at five o’clock in the morning before the hearse guy woke up.
Running again. From what or why Eva never knew. But she remembered the wretched disappointment of leaving behind a place she’d started to love. Yet again.
Somewhere along the way, she’d stopped hoping. Sure, she’d grown up, forgiven her mother, let go of the past. But part of it was still with her. The part where she was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. The part of her that never really believed in anything permanent, because nothing was permanent so you’d best live in the moment, live
for
the moment. Which was what she’d done last night.
And now…
She was left with the consequences. A man in her bed. A man she wanted to keep forever. A man she knew nothing about.
Shit, Eva, you did it again.
Guilt stole over her. Why couldn’t she control herself? Why was she so impulsive? Why did she have to feel so intensely?
The big question was what was she going to do about Adam? In her experience, it was only after you slept with them that guys got truly invested in you. They started expecting things. Things she didn’t have the power to give. Not now. Not yet. Adam was too soon. He was too much man for her.
There it was. The real reason. In the past she’d been more likely to hook up with man-boys, the kind of guys who hadn’t grown up yet. Some of them never would. Guys who offered her nothing more than a good time. Or exciting bad boys like Keith who’d made her blood rev. But she’d never been with a serious guy. A responsible man who honored his commitments. If after sleeping with her, Adam felt committed to her, well…that was a problem because she certainly wasn’t ready to commit to him.
Okay, she knew she was waffling. And panicking. Yes, she was panicking. She kept thinking about coyotes and paw-gnawing. She had to make sure he understood that this was a one-time thing. That while it had been fun it really shouldn’t happen again. That she really couldn’t be in love with him because she’d only known him, what? Ten days?
Why is that?
asked the clear voice she kept trying to bury.
Why are you trying to break things off with the first good man you’ve ever been with?
Fine. All right. She’d admit it. She was into self-sabotage as surely as her mother had been. But Mom had met Mike and everything had turned around for them. They’d gotten settled. Finally had a home. Could Adam be her Mike?
What precisely was she running from? Why wasn’t the fact that Adam was in her bed a good thing?
“Eva?”
Oh, hell, he was awake and she hadn’t gotten anything sorted out.
“You awake?” he asked.
She could pretend to be asleep and hope he would leave, but he tightened his grip around her waist and pulled her closer as he turned over.
“Uh-huh,” she said.
“Morning,” he murmured, and kissed the tip of her nose.
“Hey!” she protested. “You have minty breath. When did you get up to brush your teeth?”
He had the good manners to look guilty. “A few minutes ago while you were still sleeping. You had a new toothbrush in your bathroom drawer. Is it okay that I used it?”
“No fair. You’ve got a distinct advantage over me.”
“I couldn’t risk you kicking me out of bed over morning breath.”
“What’s going to keep you from kicking me out of bed over morning breath?”
“For one thing, it’s your bed,” he said, angling his mouth down to hers. “For another, you don’t have morning breath.”
“You are such a liar, but keep it up.”
“Last night was—you were—well,
amazing
doesn’t begin to cover it.”
“Right back at you, big guy.”
He nuzzled close to her, kissed her neck. “You drive me insane, woman. And usually I’ve got a pretty good grip on my self-control. But you…but you…wow.”
Wow, indeed.
“Um…” she said. “I think it might be a good idea if we had a talk.”
“Okay.” His tongue was doing crazy things to her.
She pushed her head down, trying to wriggle away. “Before we get involved in any more of that, we need to have a talk.”
He pulled back. “Is something wrong?”
“Not wrong, um…not really. I just wanted to clear the air, get something straight.”
“Okay.” He propped himself up against the headboard, crossing his arms over his chest. That incredible chest that made her want to bite her lip it was so yummy. “Let’s talk.”
“I really enjoyed last night,” she said. “Don’t think I didn’t enjoy it. The sex was great, the best. I came like a Fourth of July rocket.”
He smiled. God, he was so gorgeous when he smiled. She wished he would stop smiling. “Me, too.”
She moistened her lips. He looked so earnest. She wanted to tell him that this was a one-time thing, but she just couldn’t make her mouth form the words. Instead, she looked into his eyes and said, “Are you a breakfast eater?”
Her purse hung from the doorknob in the hallway. It was unzipped and he could see her cell tucked into the corner. This was his chance to do his job.
“Coffee?” Eva called from the kitchen.
“Yep.”
“I’ll brew some up. I’m more of a smoothie girl, myself, but I keep coffee in the house for when my friends come over.”
“Sounds good.” He pulled the listening device from the pocket of his jeans and slunk toward her purse. He felt like a petty thief betraying her trust like this, and almost pivoted on his heel, marched into the kitchen and told her everything.
But what if she was involved with Barksdale?
He didn’t believe it. Not in his heart. But the ONI had trained his head. He felt torn in two pieces. How could his allegiances be so equal? On the one hand was his career and his country. On the other was a woman he’d known just a little over a week. How was it possible that her opinion of him meant as much as his job?
Before he could back out, he plunged his hand into her purse and retrieved the cell phone. He darted a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure she wasn’t standing behind him, then dismantled the phone, inserted the listening device and put it back together within a couple of furtive minutes. Basic Cell Phone Bugging 101. Get in, get out, get it done.
“Breakfast is ready.”
He slipped the cell phone back into her purse and straightened.
“What were you doing?” she asked, going up on tiptoes to kiss his cheek when he wandered into the kitchen.
“Looking for a pen and paper so I could write down your phone number.”
“Oh.”
“You were going to give me your number weren’t you?”
“Yeah,” she said, but her voice went up in pitch. “Sure.” She leaned over and plucked a business card from beneath a magnet anchoring it to the refrigerator. “Here. All my contact numbers are on my card.”
He slipped the card into his back pocket. “Thanks.”
“How do you take your coffee?”
“Hot and black.”
She poured the coffee, passed him the cup and then slid two plates of food onto the bistro table in the small dining nook.
Adam took a seat across from her and looked down at his food. “What is this?”
“Waffles and peanut butter with sausage. You’ve never had it?”
“No.”
“It’s delicious. It’s my favorite breakfast.”
There it was, the very thing that Kirsten said didn’t mix. Peanut butter spread over a waffle and topped with sliced sausage patties, maple syrup on the side.
He laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“You never know what strange combination is going to be just perfect together,” he said, and then ate the best darned breakfast he’d ever tasted.
Rousing himself, he tensed, listened.
“Zoey, I’ve done it again.”
Adam grabbed Eva’s dossier, flipped to the section on contacts, and found the name Zoey Sharp. She was Eva’s best friend. Now here was proof why he shouldn’t be feeling the things he was feeling for Eva. He didn’t even know her best friend’s name. How could he be falling in love with a woman when he didn’t even know her best friend’s name?
“Done what?” Zoey asked.
“Hopped into bed too quickly with a guy.”
“Eva! I thought you had a moratorium on sex.”
“Zoey, this is different. I can’t describe it. Adam is the most stable, kind, understanding man that I have ever met. Not to mention he’s so good-looking and the best lover I’ve ever had.”
Adam’s chest puffed out with pride at that comment. So he wasn’t the only one who’d thought the sex had been super special.
She went on for several minutes, telling her friend about the rained out golf scramble, and how he’d come to her apartment in the middle of the night.
“Sounds like a wild time,” Zoey said.
“There’s just one thing that worries me.”
“What’s that?”
“He’s got money.”
“You mean he’s rich?”
“Yes.”
“Well, what’s wrong with that?”
“I don’t fit into that world. The country club was a real eye-opener. That’s just not my lifestyle. Can you see me fitting in a place like that?”
“You could if you wanted to.”
“I could do it for him. If that’s what he wanted.”
No, no, no, Adam thought. He loved Eva because she was so certain about who she was. She didn’t put on airs. She didn’t pull punches. She wasn’t a phony. She didn’t use people. He loved all those things about her.
“And, Zoey, I trust him. Really trust him. He’s not like any of the others.”
“Oh, honey, I do so hope you’re right. You deserve to have a great guy for once.”
“I do, don’t I?” Eva laughed. Sunshine. She was always filled with sunshine.
Guilt pushed out the pride and Adam was left knowing he was going to hurt her, disappoint her, betray her trust.
He knew then that he had to tell who he was. What he’d done. Then he would beg and plead for her understanding. He wasn’t going to tell Commander Higgins his plan. He’d already learned it was easier to get forgiveness than permission. His gut was telling him what he had to do and he was going to follow it. Orders or no orders.
After Eva ended her phone call with her friend, Adam got out his cell phone and texted her.
Dinner2nite?
Then he wrote in the name of the nicest restaurant on this side of town.
A minute later, she texted back.
Luv2.