Her Rugged Rancher (5 page)

“Sounds like your grandmother spoiled your project,” he said.

“Not really. My cats used it.”

He inclined his head in the direction of the windows. “I don't get much sunlight in here. I'll turn on a lamp.”

“Don't bother on my account. I can see fine.”

Noah wasn't having any trouble seeing, either. Yet he was having a problem deciding if the vision standing in his cabin was real or imagined. Other than Jett and a couple of the other ranch hands, he'd never had visitors up here. And bringing a woman home was definitely off-limits. How Bella had managed to be here was a different matter. But she was here just the same and for now he'd try to deal with the situation as best he could without being rude.

“Have a seat. The couch is a little hard. You might find the chair more comfortable.”

“Thanks, but I'll sit later. Let me help you with the hamburger meat. I can make the patty.”

She followed him over to the kitchen area and though she stood a few steps away from him, Noah felt completely smothered by her presence.

“I'll do it,” he told her. “You're a guest.”

Laughing softly, she leaned her hip against the cabinet counter. Noah tried not to notice how her jeans hugged the ample curve of her hips and thighs and the way her blouse draped the thrust of her breasts. And even when he looked away, the image was still so strong in his mind it practically choked him.

“I'm not a guest,” she reasoned. “I'm just a neighbor who's intruded on your privacy. But thanks for letting me.”

Why did she have to be so nice? Why couldn't she be one of those spoiled, abrasive women that got on everyone's nerves? Why couldn't she be a woman who considered herself too good to come near his cabin, much less enter it? Then he wouldn't be having this problem. He wouldn't be wanting to throw caution to the wind and let himself simply enjoy her company. Instead, she was warm and sweet. And just having her near filled him with a hollow ache.

“Well, I don't normally have company. Uninvited or otherwise,” he told her. “So my manners are a little rusty. I'm afraid you'll have to overlook them.”

He glanced her way to see she was smiling and for a moment his gaze focused on her dark pink lips and white teeth. That mouth would taste as good as her voice sounded, he imagined.

“Who's worried about manners? You and I are family,” she said. “Well, practically. You've been here on the ranch longer than I have. We just never had the opportunity to talk much. When I was still living with Jett, you would stop by, but never say a word to me. I'm glad you're being much nicer today.”

He laid a portion of ground meat onto a piece of wax paper and smashed it flat. “A guy like me doesn't have anything interesting to say to a lady like you.”

From the corner of his eye he watched her move a step closer. “Lady? I've not had a man call me that in a long time, Noah. Thank you.”

Her voice had taken on a husky note and the sound slipped over him like a warm blanket in the middle of a cold night.

“That's hard to believe, Bella.”

She shrugged. “Not really. Men aren't very chivalrous nowadays. At least, not the ones I cross paths with. Maybe that's because of my profession. In the courtroom they see me as an adversary. Not a lady.”

“Jett says you worked hard to get your degree. He also says you're good at your job.”

“Jett is obviously biased. But I can credit him for getting me in the law profession. When I was growing up, I never dreamed of being a lawyer. But after Marcus and I divorced the course of my life changed. Jett got me interested in being a paralegal and from there I guess you could say I caught the bug to be in the courtroom.”

Her gaze fell awkwardly to the floor and it suddenly dawned on Noah that every aspect of this woman's life hadn't been filled with success. She'd endured her own troubles with the opposite sex. And though he'd heard Jett label his ex-brother-in-law as a liar and a cheat, Noah had never questioned the man about Bella's divorce or how it had affected her. It was none of his business. But that didn't stop him from wondering how much she'd really loved the guy.

Or whether she was finally over him.

Chapter Three

C
learing his throat, Noah said, “Excuse me, Bella, but I'd better take this out to the grill. It's probably hot enough to put the burgers on now.”

“Sounds good,” she told him. “I'll join you.”

She followed him out of the cabin and around to the back. Although there were only a few clumps of grass growing here and there over the sloping ground, he kept it neatly mown. For a makeshift patio, he'd put together four flat rocks. On one corner of the space, he'd erected a small charcoal grill atop a folding table.

A few steps away sat a lawn chair made of bent willow limbs and cushioned with a folded horse blanket. Near it lay a huge pine trunk that had fallen long before Noah had ever moved into the cabin. The smooth, weathered log made a playground for squirrels and chipmunks and a seat where he often drank his morning coffee.

While he positioned the patties on the hot grill, Bella ambled a few feet away where the forest opened up to a view of bald desert mountains in the distance.

“Are those mountains on Jett's land?” she asked.

It surprised Noah to hear her call it Jett's land. He'd always suspected that she was a partial owner in the ranch, but apparently he'd supposed wrong.

“No. They look close, but they're at least ten miles away. Why do you ask?”

“Just curious. This is going to sound silly, but there are places on this ranch that I've never seen. Especially since Jett and Sassy bought the adjoining land a few years ago.”

“You obviously knew your way to the cabin,” he said.

“That's right. My grandparents built the cabin,” she told him. “And when I was a little girl, my grandmother and I would come up here in the summer and pick wild berries.”

“I met your grandparents back before Christmas, when they came up to see little Mason after he was born. Nice folks.”

“Yes. I keep promising to drive down for a little visit with them, but it seems like I can never get that many free days in a row to make the trip to California.” She turned and strode back to the shaded area where he was standing. “One of these days I'm going to clear my work schedule and go anyway. My grandparents aren't getting any younger and I want to enjoy them while they're still around.”

“Melvin talked to me about the little ranch he owns now. I'm glad he's still healthy enough to have horses and cattle.”

Ignoring the chair, she sank onto the pine truck and crossed her ankles out in front of her. Noah closed the lid on the cooker and took a seat in the lawn chair a few feet away from her.

“Do you have grandparents, Noah?”

He said, “The only grandparents I ever really knew have passed on. Mom's parents were never around, so I have no idea if either of them are still alive or where they might live.” The look of surprise in her eyes prompted him to add, “I don't know where she or my dad are, either. They divorced when I was thirteen. After that, Mom left and never came back. Dad stuck around for a few months, then left me to be raised by his parents.”

Just as he'd expected, she looked stunned. And that was exactly why he'd revealed that part of his upbringing to her. He wanted to make sure she understood the sort of background he'd come from. That he'd been a child his own parents hadn't wanted and his grandfather had merely tolerated.

“Oh. I didn't know. Jett never mentioned the circumstances of your parents to me.”

“That's because I've never talked to Jett about them. Your brother and I mostly talk about the present and the future.”

“Yes. Well, Jett has some pretty awful memories of his own that he'd rather leave in the past. Most of us do.”

She smiled at him and Noah was surprised to see she was still looking at him as though she liked him, as though he was someone she wanted to spend time with. He could only think she was either a very bad judge of character, or a very special woman.

The scent of the cooking beef began to fill the air and Noah got up to check on the progress of the burgers.

While he flipped the meat, she asked, “Do you like living here in the cabin? Away from everyone?”

“I'm a simple guy, Bella. I have everything I need or want right here.” At least that was what he'd been telling himself since he'd arrived in Nevada. But there were plenty of days Noah still felt the nagging need for a place of his own, and even more nights when he imagined himself with a wife and children to nurture and love. Yet once he'd left Arizona, he'd vowed to live a solitary life and so far, he'd had no trouble sticking to that sensible choice. Whenever he got to feeling like Jack, and the urge to go on the prowl for a woman hit him, all he had to do was think about Camilla. Remembering all the lies she'd told doused his urges even better than a cold shower.

“I guess the cabin seems pretty crude to you,” he added.

“I wasn't thinking about the cabin,” she told him. “I was wondering if you ever get lonely.”

For most of his thirty-five years, Noah had been lonely. As a kid, he'd had buddies in school, but he'd never been able to invite them to his house for a meal or a simple game of catch in the backyard. Not that he would've been embarrassed by the Crawfords' modest home situated on the poor side of the tracks. Most of his friends had been just as impoverished as the Crawford family. No, it had been his parents' violent arguments that had ruined his chance to be a normal kid. And later, well, he'd let himself trust in another human being and ended up learning he couldn't depend on anyone to stick by him. Not even a good friend.

“I don't have time to get lonely,” he lied. “Every morning I leave here before daylight and usually don't return until dark. That doesn't leave me much time to pine for company.”

It wasn't until he'd put the lid back on the grill and risen to his feet that she said, “It must be nice to be that contented with your own company. I'll be the first to admit I get lonely.”

He grimaced. “You should have stayed in your brother's house. With all those kids there's never a dull moment.”

She shrugged. “I was getting in the way.”

“Jett didn't want you to move out. I don't suspect Sassy did, either.”

“Both are too nice to admit they were sick of Aunt Bella being underfoot—” she smiled wanly “—but I figure you probably understand how it feels to be, how should I say, standing on the outside looking in.”

Noah had to choke back a mocking groan. She, or anyone else, couldn't possibly know how he'd felt as a child. His parents had barely acknowledged his existence. They'd been too busy trying to tear each other down. And later, his grandfather had only been interested in getting him raised to an age where he could kick him out into the world. Yeah, Noah knew all about being on the outside. But Bella didn't need to know everything about his broken childhood, or the years that had followed before he'd finally settled here on the J Bar S. She'd probably feel sorry for him, and he didn't want that from her, or anyone else.

He sank back into the lawn chair. “I understand, Bella. More than you think.”

She sighed. “While I was married and living in Reno I never imagined I'd ever be calling the J Bar S my home. I expected to stay in the city and raise a family with Marcus. Now I've been here nearly six years and Jett is the one with the family. I'm not a mother, but at least I'm a lawyer,” she added wryly. “Guess I should be thankful all these years haven't been totally wasted.”

So in spite of her ex-husband deceiving and hurting her, she still she wanted a husband and family. He couldn't decide whether she was a glutton for punishment, or a very brave woman.

“Looks to me like you've had a pretty successful life so far,” he replied. “A person has to learn to appreciate the blessings they have, instead of always wanting more.”

From the corner of his eye he could see her frowning. The expression was much easier to deal with than her smiles. As long as she disapproved of him, the less likely he'd be to lose his senses around her.

“Hmm. You're saying I should be satisfied with what I have?”

He turned his head to look at her. “Well, you have a lot more than most, Bella.”

She gazed thoughtfully toward the mountains in the distance. “Yes, probably so. But a woman likes to dream, Noah.”

Oh yes, he thought bitterly. Noah knew, firsthand, how a woman could fantasize. Unfortunately, in Camilla's case, her dreams had been twisted and wrapped solely around him. It hadn't mattered to her that Noah and her husband, Ward, had been the best of friends and partners in Verde Canyon Ranch. No, she'd tried to make her dreams come true, no matter the consequences. As a result all three of them had been thrown into a nightmare, one that Noah still couldn't forget.

Giving himself a hard mental shake, he got to his feet. “I'd better check the meat,” he told her.

* * *

Five minutes later, Noah was carrying a platter of sizzling patties into the cabin with Bella following close behind.

“Too bad you don't have a picnic table of some sort,” she remarked. “It would be nice to eat outside.”

“If you'd rather eat outside, we can. But it's a nuisance trying to balance everything on your lap.”

Bella shook her head. “This is fine. It's just that the weather is almost perfect and I love eating outdoors. We'll do it some other time—at my house.”

He didn't say anything to that and Bella figured hell would probably freeze over before she ever got him to visit her house again. But she wasn't going to think about that now. At least she was getting to spend time with the man and he was talking much more than she'd ever expected him to.

He placed the platter of meat on a small round table positioned beneath one of the open windows, then added a tray of prepared vegetables he'd taken from the refrigerator.

“I don't have any tea or soda,” he told her, “but I can offer you a beer or water.”

“Beer goes perfect with a burger,” she told him. “Is there anything I can do to help? If you'll show me where you keep your dishes and silverware I'll set the table.”

He slanted a look at her as though he wasn't sure he wanted her to be milling about in his kitchen, but after a moment he motioned his head toward the cabinets.

“The plates are in the cabinet on the left. The silverware is in the drawer underneath.”

While she set the tiny table, he fetched the drinks and a bag of potato chips. Once everything was ready, he surprised her by pulling out one of the scarred wooden chairs and helping her into it.

His nearness stirred her like nothing she could remember and though she told herself she was being foolish, she couldn't seem to slow the erratic beat of her heart or stop the excitement rushing through her.

“Thank you, Noah.”

He took his seat across from her and as they began to put their burgers together, Bella asked, “Are you finished with all the branding now?”

“We wound it up yesterday. Now it's time to deal with a bunch of fencing. The men won't like it but that's okay. They can't have fun every day.”

Bella smiled as she added salt and pepper to her burger, then pressed everything inside a bun covered with sesame seeds. “Does that mean they consider branding as fun?”

“The lucky ones who get to rope and drag calves to the fire think of it that way. The hands working on the ground might have different ideas. They have the hardest job. That's why after a few hours I make the men change places.”

It wasn't surprising to hear Noah tried to keep things fair. As the foreman over a group of ranch hands, she expected he was always evenhanded. But how would he be as a lover or husband? Would he see her as his equal? Or was he an old-fashioned man who would expect his woman to submit to his wants and wishes?

Oh, Lord, Bella, why would you be wondering about those sorts of things? It's clear he doesn't want a family. You need to snap out of these silly daydreams you're having about this cowboy. One of these days you'll cross paths with a guy who's meant to be your soul mate. And it's not elusive Noah.

Shutting her ears to the voice going off in her head, she bit into the hamburger and immediately groaned with pleasure.

“Mmm. You're a good cook, Noah. This is delicious.”

He shrugged. “I've cooked my own meals ever since I was a kid. So I've had plenty of practice.”

Had he fixed his own meals out of necessity, she wondered. Or simply because he'd wanted to? From what he'd said, his parents had more or less abandoned him. But surely his grandparents had been around to see to his needs. Or had they? She wanted to ask him, but reminded herself that Noah wasn't on the witness stand or even sitting across from her desk at the office.

Eventually, she decided to ask something a little less personal. “Did you grow up here in Nevada?”

For a moment she thought he wasn't going to answer and then he said, “No. I'm originally from Arizona. The southern part.”

“I took a trip with my mother to Tucson once. It's beautiful down there.”

“Yes.”

His one-word reply disappointed her. She'd hoped her remark would lead him to open up about his former home or something about his past life. But he wasn't going for it.

She went on. “But I happen to think our little area of the world right here is very pretty. Do you ever drive over to the lake?”

His brows pulled together. “You mean Lake Tahoe?”

She nodded and his frown grew deeper.

“No. I don't have any business over there.”

Impatient now, she could barely keep from groaning out loud. Exactly where did he have business, she wanted to ask him. Were his interests confined to riding the range or in a dusty round pen, breaking a horse to ride?

She swallowed another bite of burger before she said, “Put like that, I and thousands more like me, also don't have any reason to go to Tahoe, except to enjoy the scenery. Jett and I have fond memories of the lake. When we were kids our father would often take us there for picnics.” She sighed. “But that was before he took a permanent walk out of our lives.”