Her Rodeo Cowboy (10 page)

“T
his has been a long one,” Jess said at the end of the day. “See you in the morning, bro,” he called, looking at Luke out the open window of his truck.

“I'm not far behind you,” Luke said. “It's going to be a long day tomorrow, too.” After watching Jess leave, he headed toward his truck but found himself detouring into the barn, heading toward Murdock's stall. Montana had disappeared in that direction earlier. With the festival there on the premises, it was a fairly congested area, and he'd been lucky to see her at all.

He found her in the far corner, sitting alone on a five-gallon bucket. “What's up? You look like you lost your best friend. Are you worn out?”

She looked up at him with serious eyes, more blue than green in the shadows. “Have you ever realized you were a jerk?”

This didn't sound good. “What did I do now?”

Her eyes widened and she huffed a short laugh. “No, not
you. I'm
the jerk.”

Her gaze shifted from him to some far-off place in her thoughts. He spied another feed bucket, snagged it up, flipped it over and sat down in her line of vision. “You aren't a jerk. Talk to me.”

“I was listening to everyone working in the concession stand talk about all their blessings. Everyone was looking at all the good things God's done in their lives. Despite the fact that there were lots of bad things happening. It made me think about where my head has been since I came here. I honestly can't remember the last time I actually thanked God for all the good things He's done for me. And He has given me tons of things to be thankful for—like coming here, for instance. It's been wonderful to have Lacy and Clint's home to come to, and to have a place to ride Murdock. It's been great to spend time with Tate, Lacy and Clint.”

“And me?” he teased.

“Yes, it's been a real blessing getting to know you. And that's a big shock to me.”

He dipped his brows into a mocking scowl. “Hey, you were on a roll till that.”

She gave a light huff, and seemed to relax doing so. “I'm just being honest. I did think you were a bit of a jerk when I first met you. But then I changed my mind.”

“I'm glad about that. And even if you hadn't changed it, you still aren't a jerk. Lots of people lose sight of the good things in their lives when they've got junk from their past filling up their days. It's not always easy to let things go. Believe me, I know that from experience.” He felt as if something about her
parents' divorce was bothering her, but he wouldn't ask. She'd tell him if she wanted. He wasn't sure how exactly she viewed him. Sure, they'd become friends in a way. It was a little hard to explain
what
they'd become. He knew that he enjoyed being around her, his world did tricks when he was around her…he was more relaxed when he was near her, but at the same time he was tense. He couldn't concentrate when she was around because he kept getting distracted lately with the idea of kissing her. If he kissed her, she'd probably slap him and call him a jerk for sure. Which wouldn't be a good thing. Wait! What was he doing? Here he was sitting here, trying to figure out what was wrong with Montana and suddenly he was thinking about kissing?

Yup, not good.

“I'm not sure what's bothering you, but if I can help, I'm here.” She could choose to talk or not. He realized he wished she would feel comfortable enough to talk to him. He wanted to get closer to her. The idea startled him a bit. It was different than when he'd dated other women. Different than just feeling attracted to a woman. He was trying to wrap his emotions around it and understand.

“I've come here to try and fulfill my dream of being a cowgirl. That's what I'm doing. But I gave it up years ago to become the career woman that my dad wanted me to be. You're supposed to do what your parents want—right?”

Not exactly. He thought of his dad. If he'd done what
his dad had wanted, he'd be wallowing in self-pity, spending his days looking for the next bottle.

But that was not what Montana needed to hear. “To an extent,” he said, quietly finding his way. The anger that he'd sensed in her from day one had crept back into her voice. Her attitude was locked up with it.

“I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I could have been a champion. I may still be able to be one—but I've been filled with a lot of resentment lately, and it's overshadowed everything in my life these last few months. I turned everything upside down on a whim, and came out here to stay with Lacy.”

“My first question is, why all of a sudden are you having these feelings? Didn't you resent it all when you gave up your dream?”

“My dad.” Her words were full of anger. She took a breath, visibly calming herself as she started over. “My dad pushed me to be what he felt was of greater status. He was very aware of how and what others thought of us as a family. He thought riding was a great thing for me to do during my school years, but that should stop there. I was expected to go to college and get the accounting degree he felt would be appropriate.
Pro rodeo cowgirl
just didn't have the right ring to it.”

Montana had been the good girl and done as her dad wanted. “But why are you suddenly rebelling and doing what you want? Why all the resentment now? The divorce?”

She stood and walked a few paces away before she turned, and he saw the flash of fire in her eyes. “Partly.
But mostly because of his affair. When I found out about that, I hit the road.”

“You can't let this eat you up. Believe me, I know.”

He went to her, wanting to brush the strands of hair from her face that had escaped her braid. “I can remember the first time I understood that my dad had a drinking problem. Like I told you before, I was young. I don't even remember how old I was, but I remember the fights my parents had. There was nothing physical, only bitter blowouts. This particular day, my mom was crying in the bathroom and I asked my dad why he always made my momma cry. He told me she'd known he drank when she married him, and so she had no reason to always be harping on him. And then I watched him lift the bottle up and drink the whole thing without stopping. It made me sick watching. He looked at me and told me for the first time—of many—that I would be just like him.” He paused, remembering. It still made him sick thinking about it. “I never will forget that. I was young but I knew then that I didn't want to be like him. I wasn't sure if what he said was a fact—being young I didn't understand exactly. I just knew I didn't want it. I grew up quick after that.”

“I'm so sorry.” She laid her hand on his arm and the warmth seeped into his skin.

“It happened a very long time ago. And like I told you the other night, God helped me move on.”

“Still, you don't get angry?”

“Yeah, actually, I did. I didn't have the feeling of betrayal that's shadowing you, but I resented that he was my dad. Unlike you, there were no expectations for me.
You're resentful because you were pinned to your dad's hopes and dreams because you were doing what you knew was right.” He could tell that hit a mark. “You were honoring God's plan by honoring your dad, doing what he expected of you.”

“And he let me down.”

“Yes, he did. My dad let me down, too, but it was out in the open. No surprises. That was just the way it was. Whereas you were blindsided by it. And now, the way I see it, you're still staggering from being thrown off the bull and mowed down. You're entitled to some resentment.”

She stiffened, pulling her shoulders back. “I've got that. No doubt about it.”

“Look. We don't get to pick our parents. But we get to pick who we'll become. That's what I'm doing. I don't know if you know about Clint's mom, but in a way, she did what your dad did. She left, and it was real hard on Clint and his dad. But Mac remained hardworking, honest and someone I could look up to. I started working for him the day we moved to town when I was fifteen. He was a great influence in my life.”

“I've heard Clint talk about his dad. He built this ranch on hard work and honesty. Clint has carried that out and expanded every aspect. Lacy is so proud of him and the man that he is.”

She sighed, looking lost. “I used to be proud of my dad. I believed he was an honorable man. I believed he loved my mother. I've been torn up over this—mad, furious, and torn by the idea that I'm somehow supposed
to forgive him for making me feel this way.
Enough
of this.” She waved her hand, as if shooing the thoughts away. “Anyway—it hit me today that this stuff is all I've been focusing on. It's horrible how I've forgotten what good things God has done for me. I'm going to try to be more positive.”

He put his hands on her shoulders. Couldn't help it. “Good. That's what you need to do for now. You can deal with these feelings later, but you need to clear your head tonight and get ready for tomorrow. You need to put this all out of your head and get in the zone. Murdock is counting on you.” He grinned, knowing she wanted to make her horse proud. “You've got this in the bag if you just get your focus on the ride tomorrow night. Maybe it's nerves shaking you up right now.”

“Maybe. Some of it.”

“Focus, Montana Brown—cowgirl extraordinaire.” That got a tiny smile from her and he touched his forehead against hers. When she didn't draw away, that got a big smile from him. “Ride like the wind tomorrow night and make yourself proud.” Pulling back, he looked sternly into her eyes. “Don't ride with anger. Don't ride to prove anything to anyone but yourself. And God. He's the one who gave you this talent, and you've been working hard to polish it up. That's all you can do, is give it your all. This other stuff…it'll work itself out in time.”

She leaned her head on his chest and nodded. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her. Just held her close, giving her the comfort and support that he knew she needed. He liked being able to be there for her in
this moment. Again, she drew him, just as she'd been doing from the first day he saw her.

And he wasn't exactly sure what to do about it.

I
t was a gorgeous, sunny day for the festival.

“Isn't that just the cutest thing,” Esther Mae cooed, waving at Tate. He was dressed in a baby cowboy outfit, complete with chaps and was sitting on the top of the fattest little donkey Montana had ever seen.

Samantha the donkey was adorable. She was gray with white whiskers, and so fat that she had rolls rippling from her shoulders to her hips. She had big, brown, mischievous eyes, and when she batted her eyelashes it made Montana wonder what the little gal was thinking about. Tate was loving his time spent being held on her back. There was no doubt that, with all the cowboys in his life, Tate would be a cowboy himself someday.

“He loves it,” Lacy said, beaming at him as she held him. He stuffed his fist in his mouth, grinning at his mom, then everyone else, when they oohed at him. He was enjoying being the center of attention. At six months old, he was already a big flirt with his big blue eyes.

“Yoo-hoo, Luke,” Esther Mae hollered suddenly, startling everyone including Samantha, who popped her head up, looking past Montana to see what the fuss was. Everyone, including Montana, turned to see Luke striding toward them.

“I thought you were fixin' to walk past us,” Esther Mae said, looking more mischievous than Samantha ever thought about.

Luke's gaze met Montana's and she saw his own glint of mischief. “I thought about it, Esther Mae, but with all you pretty women standing over here, I wouldn't have been able to pass y'all by.”

Montana almost laughed at the twinkle in Luke's eyes. The instant she'd heard Esther Mae yell his name, her pulse had jumped into overdrive. He'd been so supportive last night, and she was still mesmerized by how safe and comforted she'd felt, wrapped in his arms. She'd had a hard time pulling back and watching him leave. Her heart had sighed as he'd driven away, leaving her standing on the front porch. She was glad the house was silent as she'd entered because she was sure Lacy would have seen her float up the stairs.

Montana Brown, cowgirl wannabe, was in danger of falling in love.

“What are you doing right now?” Norma Sue asked, walking over to stand near him. Hooking her thumbs in the straps of her overalls, she studied him intently. “You don't look like you got much sleep last night.”

Montana looked closer at him, and didn't see what Norma Sue was talking about. The man looked absolutely perfect. His coffee-colored eyes looked bright
and alert to her. They widened at the ranch woman's comment.

“I slept like a baby.”

“Good!” Esther Mae exclaimed. “Then you can take this one—” she shocked Montana by placing her hands on Montana's back and pushing her toward him “—over to the competitions and join in. I hear they're going to have a three-legged race any minute, and that's always a good one to—”

Adela stepped up and broke Esther Mae off. “It's a good one to get the heart pumping and the laughter flowing.”

Esther Mae crossed her arms over her peacock-blue blouse and harrumphed. “It's also good to get to know your partner. And don't forget about the octopus ride!”

“I wasn't planning on joining in any games,” Montana said.

Lacy chuckled, looking at Tate. She rubbed noses with him, and he grabbed at her hair. “Oh, no, you don't. Hey.” She continued looking at Montana. “I'm going to go feed him and then I'm coming back to defend my championship title in the cow chip throwing competition. I'm officially challenging you. Every cowgirl needs to know how to toss one of those bad boys.”

“I wasn't—” Montana was feeling a bit trapped. The light in Luke's eyes told her he knew how she felt, but he was also very amused by the situation. He had no clue how trapped she was feeling, how seriously her feelings were changing where he was concerned. She'd known it the moment she opened her eyes that morn
ing. Looking at Lacy, she couldn't say no. “Okay,” she agreed. “I'll be there, and you better come prepared. Because, believe it or not, I can toss a chip a very long way.”

And so, she found herself walking through the crowd beside Luke, and feeling as if she was heading down a wrong-way street with her hands tied behind her back. Luke, on the other hand, looked like he was on the same road but totally enjoying the crazy ride, judging by the twitch of his lips when he looked at her.

“So you actually throw cow patties?”

“Haven't done it in a while—probably a decade—but I can.”

As they wove through the crowd, he gave her a disbelieving glance. “You touched them?”

“That'd be a
nooo.
I wore gloves. Those things are—well, you know what they are. I'm not touching it. But I can sure give my cousin a run for the money.”

“I have no doubt about that. How about tonight? Are you ready for the barrel racing?”

“Yes, I am. But I think the three-legged race is going to be a great warm-up for me. The posse was right. This is a good thing, you and me.”

“Stuck like glue,” he said.

Montana chuckled. “That's right. You and me, babe.”

Luke laughed. The low, husky sound made Montana's pulse dance.

They walked past booth after booth of handmade crafts, tons of jewelry and half a dozen food trailers.
Luke stopped in front of a burger booth. “I've got to eat something before we race.”

“That's good thinking. I wouldn't want to lose because you were slacking.”

“Oh, you don't have to worry about that. I can handle myself.”

She put her hands on her hips and made herself not laugh. “A little competitive, are we?”

He tapped her nose with his index finger. “And don't you forget it.”

“Then we're a great match.” The words were out of her mouth before she realized what she was saying. Looking at him, his eyes twinkling, she decided maybe now would be a good time to stop speaking. The look in his eyes told her he might be wondering the same thing. Suddenly she was wondering,
were
they a great match? She flashed back to being in his arms, and it struck her like lightning that they were.

She took a step back. Her arm had been lightly touching his, standing in line. Suddenly, feeling a little faint, she wanted to sit down or pass out. She didn't have time to be getting crazy. She didn't have time to be thinking things she hadn't been thinking in a very long time.

She didn't trust men. Right?

She didn't want a man in her life. Right?

She didn't want to fall in love. Right?

But he was great. He was unbelievably sincere. He was funny. He was…easy to fall in love with.

Oh, my goodness—she was in trouble.

His eyebrows crinkled as he looked at her strangely. “Are you okay?”

She slapped a hand to her stomach. “Nerves,” she squeaked, gasping a little.

“Really? You're white. Come on.” Taking her arm, he led her out of the line and toward a spot behind all the booths, away from the traffic. They'd used square bales of hay in some areas to give seating to weary festival goers, and Luke spotted a pile of extra hay. Leading her to it immediately, he gently pushed her down to sit.

“I'm fine,” she said. “Really I am.” She was seeing black spots.

He knelt down in front of her and his concerned brown eyes seemed to melt into her as he searched hers. He touched her forehead with his fingers. She gasped at his touch and then stuck her head between her knees and gasped for air.

“Breathe, Montana, breathe.” Luke rubbed Montana's back. He wasn't sure what was going on. One minute she'd been fine—teasing and rattling on and making him laugh. Then all of a sudden, she'd turned as white as a sheet and was threatening to pass out.

“I'm fine,” she groaned after a minute, and sat up, looking more stunned than anything.

She was staring at him like he had two heads. “Did I do something wrong? Are you sure this is about your ride tonight?” He'd been thinking about her all night long. He'd never had a woman on his mind like he had Montana. He'd done his best to steer clear of her all morning because he wanted to see her so bad. Maybe
she'd wanted him to show up this morning. Maybe she was mad at him. Maybe that was a good thing—he wasn't certain.

“No, you didn't do anything wrong.”

He leaned forward. She sucked in a breath and leaned back, keeping him at a distance. “Okay, then what's up?”

She shook her head as if trying to clear it, and then shot up from the hay, glaring at him. “I don't want this.”

“Want what?” he asked, maintaining his calm in the midst of a growing gale.

“This.” She waved a hand toward him, then back toward herself. “This, this
thing
that's happening between us. And don't try and deny it, because I know you feel it, too. Or maybe you don't.”

He shouldn't think she was cute. But he did. That made him smile inside. He honestly liked everything about Montana Brown, including her odd tendency to get mad at herself when she was feeling things she didn't like…or felt threatened by. He grinned at her, despite the fact that it was thoughts of him that were making her so mad.

“I do know I enjoy being around you. But right now, I'm also looking forward to you and me smoking a bunch of three-legged couples in a few minutes. You know what I think?” He scratched his jaw, then crossed his arms and studied her.

“What?” She glared at him but paused her pacing.

“I think you need to relax. You're making more out of this than it is.” He needed her to calm down. “The
fact is that I like you and you like me. No big deal. We're still in control of what we do with that. Right?” He nodded, slowly urging her to agree.

She looked a bit puzzled, but nodded in response to his. “Yes.”

“Good, then relax and let's go win a race. And don't forget, I want to see you chuck a cow chip farther than anyone else.”