Authors: Shannon Farrington
The soldiers on the parade grounds seemed to be moving in slow motion. As Sam followed their laborious movements he couldn't help but feel sorry for them. He and his imprisoned comrades were in shirtsleeves. The soldiers were in full uniform.
I imagine they wish they were anywhere else but here, as well.
He looked out over the hazy, bluish-gray horizon. Baltimore lay in the distance, her slate roofs soaking up the summer sun. It wasn't long before his mind settled on Julia. By now she would have returned from the prayer meeting.
He imagined her in the kitchen preparing dinner. The windows would be open. The house would be warm.
Afterward, she will more than likely go to the garden, sit on the bench beneath the cherry tree and finish a little sewing.
He smiled to himself.
She will probably take off her shoes and stockings if she thinks no one is looking. She loves to sink her toes in the cool, green grass.
"Look yonder," Richard said, interrupting his reverie.
Sam turned. The man had abandoned his cards and was now standing at the railing.
Sam got to his feet and looked in the direction of the inner gate. Five well-dressed men were crossing the yard under Federal guard.
"Who is that?" he asked.
"Not sure," Richard said, "but I don't think they are here for just a visit."
More political prisoners,
Sam thought.
William must have thought the same. "Where are we going to put them? Our room is crowded enough already."
John abandoned the checkerboard and came over for a look.
"Do you know them?" Sam asked.
He squinted then nodded. The look on his face was grave. "That there is Marshal Kane and all four of his police commissioners."
Sam remembered John's prediction that the city leadership who had advocated burning the railroad bridges on the night of the Pratt Street riot would soon find themselves under arrest, as well.
John grunted. "This ain't a good sign."
Sam had to agree.
If Marshal Kane has been arrested then the Federal Army will be taking over the police department. How many more citizens will be arrested?
His muscles tensed and his heart pounded as once more he thought of Julia.
Watch over her, Lord. And please don't let anything that I have done bring trouble on her or her family.
"
Julia had done as her father asked and chosen the most nondescript dress in her wardrobe. She held it to her chin as she stood in front of the looking glass. The garment had wide pagoda sleeves but the fabric was plain and unadorned. The color was her least favorite.
I suppose this is an appropriate color for visiting a Federal Garrison,
she thought.
Union blue.
If she had her way she would choose the sea green
dress she had worn the day Samuel had walked her home. It was light and breezy, perfect for a summer's day.
I always thought you looked beautiful in that color,
he had said.
He had made her blush with that compliment. Her heart had fluttered.
It was fluttering now, at the thought of seeing him again.
If only I didn't have to meet him while wearing such shabby clothing.
Sighing, she slipped the dress on then fastened the hooks and eyes of the bodice. She adjusted her collar. She then tied her black bonnet on her head and hurried downstairs.
Her mother and father were waiting in the foyer.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
"How do I look?"
"Plain," he said. "And very supportive of the Federal Army."
It wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear. She glanced at her mother.
"Sam won't even notice what you are wearing," she promised. "He will just be happy to see you."
"I hope so."
"Don't worry, dear."
Julia's thoughts jumped from fabric to food. "Bread!" she said. "I must fetch some!"
She flew to the kitchen. She had baked a pan of cornbread the night before so she cut several slices. Wrapping them carefully she placed them in a basket alongside a jar of apple butter. Assuming Samuel's meal rations were poor, she gathered a bunch of fresh lettuce, a nearly ripe tomato and a tin of sardines.
There is no telling when the last time was that he had fish and vegetables.
Lastly, she filled a canning jar with lemonade.
When everything was packed just so, she returned to the foyer. Her father chuckled when he saw the overflowing basket.
"Well, he won't be hungry. That's for certain."
Smiling, Julia followed him to the sidewalk. Lewis had already brought the carriage around front. A shiver of nervousness, more than just the uncertainty of seeing Samuel moved through her. As she climbed into the front seat she could not help but think,
I am going to Fort McHenry.
She set the basket at her feet then shielded it from the hot sun by tucking her hoop and skirts over it.
"Ready?" her father asked.
"I believe so."
When all was secure, he gave the reins a click. Julia tried to think about what she would say when she met Samuel, but thoughts of soldiers in their brass buckles and blue wool kept invading her mind. The closer the carriage came to the gates of Fort McHenry, the more anxious Julia became.
How did I ever think I could do this? I can't even walk comfortably at the market where there are only a few soldiers at a time.
She folded her hands in her lap only to keep them from trembling. Her thoughts were churning and her fears were growing.
What if the soldiers question me before they let me see Samuel? They probably already know that my brother is serving in the Confederate Army. What if they ask about Edward's correspondence? What if they find out about Mr. Hastings and the mail?
The carriage bumped over the cobblestones. The air
was so humid that she was beginning to feel sick to her stomach. She pulled a handkerchief from her reticule and dabbed at her face.
"Sam will be so pleased to see you," her father said.
"Yes." Julia tugged at her collar.
"Don't worry. It isn't much farther. We will be there directly."
She swallowed back the lump in her throat and tried to breathe normally. They turned on the road to the fort. Tents of occupying soldiers stretched in both directions, as far as her eyes could see. Her stomach rolled.
"Did you know they were here?" she quickly asked her father.
"Yes. They are the regiments from Pennsylvania."
Her hands were trembling so that she could barely keep them together. The sight of that many blue uniforms made her lightheaded.
Courage,
she commanded.
I must show courage! I must do this!
The fort's outer gate came into view. Guards were posted. Panic seized her.
What if they ask me about that place in Fell's Point? Father didn't think they knew about Rose but what if they have since learned about her?
She swallowed hard. Her mind was racing.
Even if they do not know of Rose, if Samuel continues to assist slaves then the likelihood of him being rearrested is almost certain. What will happen when we have children? I can't raise a family alone!
Her father glanced at her, recognizing what was happening. He slowed the mare to a standstill on the side of the road.
"Do you want to go back?" he asked.
Julia stared at the soldiers guarding the gate. They
had muskets on their shoulders. She wondered how many more armed men were inside.
"Child?"
She stole a quick glance at the canvas tents along the roadside. A group of men was playing cards at a makeshift table. Two of them were staring at the carriage. A third man stood to his feet.
She shut her eyes, willing them to disappear.
We are surrounded by soldiers! Lord help us! They will arrest us all!
Her chest was heaving. Her lungs begged for air. The next thing she knew the carriage was wobbling and changing directions. When Julia dared open her eyes, the soldiers were behind her. Her father had turned for home.
"I will take you home and then I will return to visit Sam," he said. "I'll give him the food and tell him what happened. I am certain he will understand."
F
rom somewhere deep inside a determination rose, one that far outweighed her fear of the soldiers. Julia vividly remembered the promise she had made just that morning.
Whatever happens will be in God's hands.
"No," she said to her father. "Stop."
"Stop?"
She loved Samuel. She would stand beside him come what may. "Please, Father. I have to see him."
He pulled back on the mare. He stared at her. "Are you certain?"
"Samuel once promised me that he would give his life for me if necessary." She looked at him, her voice growing stronger. "He took your place in prison."
"Yes. He did."
"Then the least I can do is face a garrison of soldiers to visit him."
He tugged at his mustache, his eyes blinking hesitantly.
"You once told me that you were confident that I would make the right decision."
"Yes. I did."
"Well, this is it. I won't abandon him."
Her earnestness won over his apprehension. With a sigh and then just the hint of a smile, he gave the reins a click. He turned the carriage around.
"Remember what I told you," he said. "Don't speak to anyone until we see Sam."
"I won't."
Julia braced herself as the main gate of Fort McHenry once again came into view. The cobblestones were rough and uneven the last stretch of the way and sickening waves rolled though her stomach. Determined this time to ignore her fears, she squared her shoulders and stared at the route ahead.
I have asked the Lord for wisdom and this is where the road has led. He will continue to guide me, to guide us.
They came to the entrance. A uniformed guard stepped up to meet them.
"State the purpose of your visit."
Julia kept her eyes focused on the gate in front of her while her father spoke with the guard.
"We are here to visit a prisoner. Samuel Ward."
There was a second guard. He checked a list that he was carrying in his hand then nodded to the first man.
"Leave your horse at the hitching post," the first guard said as he pointed to an area to the left of the gate. "Private Higgins will escort you to the waiting area."
Dr. Stanton thanked the man and then urged the horse to the place that the soldier had indicated. Julia whispered a quick prayer before climbing from the carriage. Her knees were weak. Her father helped her down.
"Take my arm," he whispered. "Stay right beside me."
Julia did as he said, hoping his close presence would be enough to quell her trembling hands. It wasn't. She
hid one in the crook of his arm. She clutched her basket with the other.
The soldiers at the gate stared at her as she approached. Julia did not make eye contact with them. She only stole a quick glance at the man who was to be their escort.
Private Higgins was a stone-faced young man who didn't appear to be much older than she. She wondered if he had been one of the soldiers at the train station the day the rioting began. She wondered if he had used the musket he was now carrying to fire upon her fellow citizens of Baltimore. A shiver ran through her.
"Your basket please," he said to her.
Julia's mind and body momentarily froze. Her father quickly gave the man what he had asked for.
"It is just a few food items," he explained.
Private Higgins searched. Her father patted her arm. She prayed, begging God for the courage to continue.
Higgins thoroughly searched the basket then handed it back to her. Thankful that he did not confiscate it, Julia managed a polite nod.
"This way," he commanded.
He led them through the main gate and up the path to the old Star Fort. Julia tried to focus on the backs of his shoes and not on her surroundings as they walked. Blue uniforms were everywhere. The private led them past the parade grounds, the quartermaster's department and the stables. The afternoon sun was high in the sky and the temperature was oppressive. The meager breeze drifting in from the Patapsco River did little to ease the heat or quell the odor of sweat and manure coming from the stables.
When they reached the fort, Julia caught her first glimpse of the guns that were pointed in her city's di
rection. Private Higgins marched right past them, taking the visitors to a room on the lower level of one of the buildings.
It was there that another guard was waiting. He looked a little older but was just as grim faced. Julia lowered her eyes as she passed by him.
"Visitors to see political prisoner Ward," Higgins told the man.
Julia winced at his words. Of all the titles that could be attached to Samuel's name, political prisoner shouldn't be one of them. She and her father stepped into the waiting area. The room smelled of mold and peeling paint and was even hotter than it had been outside.
If it is this dreadful in here what is it like where Samuel is staying?
Private Higgins left them both in the watchful care of the other armed man. Then he disappeared. The second guard stood attentively at the entrance. He scrutinized their every move.
Julia turned her back to the man and moved to the far side of the room.
"Will he be here the entire time?" she whispered to her father.
"Most likely."
She hadn't counted on such. The man's presence made her even more uneasy than she already was.
"Do you want to sit?" Her father motioned to the table and four wooden chairs in the center of the room. They were the only furnishings.
"I would rather stand."
She took out her lace handkerchief and once more blotted her face. She wondered how long it would be before Samuel arrived. She tried to think about what
she would say to him but because of the guard and the heat, her mind was drawing a blank.
Lord, give me the words to say to him. Give me the courage to say what needs to be said.
They continued to wait. A horse whinnied in the distance and outside was the raucous sound of men's laughter. Julia stole quick glances toward the door, longing for what she prayed would be Samuel's familiar and friendly face.
The guard never once shifted his feet. He stood straight as a marble statue at his post. Her father, however, had taken to pacing about the room.
He is as anxious as I am,
she thought.
"
Once Marshal Kane and his police commissioners had disappeared into the processing room, the men returned to their places. Sam picked up his Bible. He tried to read, tried to pray but he just couldn't concentrate. He had taken to lying on his bunk when he heard footsteps clomping up the outside stairs. Private Higgins appeared in the doorway. He took off his kepi, shook out the dust then replaced it on his sweating head.
"You have a visitor," he told Sam.
Sam jumped to his feet and quickly rolled down his shirtsleeves, fastening the cuffs. He buttoned his wrinkled vest.
"Hope that lady friend of yours baked you some more bread," William said, flashing a gap-toothed grin.
"Or blueberry muffins," said John.
Sam smiled in return then followed Higgins down the staircase. He wondered if Mr. Davis was bringing news of his case or if Dr. Stanton, as the men also hoped, was bearing some delicious baked good.
Private Higgins marched him across the grounds and
to the front door of the waiting area. Julia's father was standing just inside the entrance. Dr. Stanton smiled then nodded to his right.
Sam's eyes followed. His heart nearly came out of his chest. There in the far corner of the room was Julia. She turned around just as he stepped inside.
The look on her face was enough to put all of his fears to rest. There was a longing in her eyes that he could read even from across the room.
Dr. Stanton put a hand on Sam's shoulder. "I will wait outside," he said.
For a moment, Sam had forgotten that he was even there. Gone were the guards and guns, as well. Fort McHenry no longer existed. All he could see was Julia.
He stepped toward her, taking her hands in his. She was trembling but she was wearing his ring.
"Are you all right?" he asked when he came to his senses.
"Yes."
Her voice was breathless, barely above a whisper. She stumbled through her words. "I w-wanted t-to tell you that I am so sorry. That I am s-sorry for everything hurtful I said and did. Please forgive me."
Her eyes were soft, blue oceans deep with emotion. Sam's heart swelled so that he thought it would burst. "You don't even need to ask," he said. "Of course I forgive you."
She closed her eyes, a smile of relief on her lips. He wished to take her completely in his arms.
"I have missed you," he said instead.
"I have missed you, as well," she said.
She searched his face. His chin was unshaven, his hair out of place and she could tell that already he had begun to lose weight because of his meager meal rations.
His smile, though, was still the same'full of life and laughter. She let the warmth of it wash over her.
"I have not been able to sleep since they arrested you," she said.
"It's not that bad here," he promised. "I get fresh air and decent meals."
Though the guard standing at the door was watching their every move, Julia no longer cared. She reached up to touch Samuel's face. "They aren't feeding you enough," she said. "I brought you a basket of food."
He glanced at the basket on the table. He grinned. "Thank you. Does it include bread and jam?"
"Yes."
He chuckled. "My bunkmates enjoyed the last loaf you sent. They were hoping you would send more."
Her hand found his again. She smiled. "I will send two loaves next time."
"They would appreciate that."
There was a pause in the conversation and once more Julia could hear the sound of soldiers' voices coming from beyond the room. As happy as she was to be with Samuel she was reminded that they were in the middle of a war. The disturbing issues of such flooded her memory. She lowered her eyes. She wanted to tell him about everything that had happened but she did not want the guard to overhear.
Samuel lifted her chin so her eyes met his. "What's wrong?"
Julia remembered her father's warning. She pieced together her words, choosing them carefully. "I read your book," she said softly. "The one that you brought home from Philadelphia."
His eyebrows arched. She knew he knew exactly what
she was talking about. She could feel the fire building in her face.
"Father asked me to read it'¦to understand why you'¦well, I understand now."
"I am sorry that you had to learn about such things, Julia. I never'"
"Samuel it is I who am sorry. I had no idea what it was really like. If I did, I never would have asked you to go with'¦" She bit her lip, not wanting to say her brother's name in front of the guard. "I believe now that you made the right decision."
Sam's spirit soared. How he had longed to hear her say such words, to have her respect the choice he had made. He ran his fingers gently through her curls. At that moment all he wanted to do was kiss her.
"I want to support you," she said. "Honestly, I do. I just don't know how exactly. I am praying about such things and I am on the watch for God's answer."
"Oh, sweetheart."
"You have five minutes!" the guard behind him announced.
Sam glanced at him and then back at Julia.
"I cannot even begin to tell you how you have made me feel by what you have just said," he whispered.
Julia smiled brightly. "In the meantime I will continue with what we have started. Sally and I will bake bread for the church and her father and mine will assist us until you return."
Samuel did not take his eyes off her. He clasped her hands a little tighter. "I prayed that you would do so."
"I was there today. I saw Elijah and Elisha. They both were well and'" Tears danced in her blue eyes. "They were wearing stockings."
"Oh, they were?"
Her hands were trembling in his but this time he knew it was because of joy.
"Thank you, Samuel."
"Thank
you.
"
"It did my heart good to know that they were being looked after."
"It pleases me that you care for them so."
"I want to do more," she said.
He ran his thumbs gently across her hands. "So do I."
"Three minutes!"
Her jaw twitched and his heart was racing. Time was slipping away much too quickly. There was so much he wanted to tell her yet there was so little time. He had thought the sight of her would be enough to sustain him through his confinement, however long it was. Now he realized that the separation would only bring more agony.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you. I wish we had married when we had the opportunity. I am so sorry for the time I have wasted."
"Hush now," he said. "None of the time has been wasted. We have both grown in our faith, in our convictions." He smiled. "God has a way of taking our fears and mistakes and turning them into something beautiful."
"You have always thought the best of me'¦of us." She squeezed his hand. "When will they release you?"
"I don't know, but don't worry. They won't keep me here forever."
"One minute!"
She glanced at the guard and then looked back at Samuel. The pending separation was going to be difficult.
"Is there nothing we can do?" she asked, the emotions
in her voice growing. "You didn't have anything to do with the bridge burnings. You tried to stop them! Why don't they believe that?"
Tears silvered her lashes. They spilled down her cheeks. Samuel pulled her close, laying her head to his chest. His heart was pounding.
"Don't cry. The army will sort this out soon enough. In the meantime, just keep praying."