Authors: Kate Welsh
E
lizabeth tried to shut out everything but Jack and his exuberant kiss, and she managed. He tasted of the chocolate bar he’d munched on the way home and the mint he’d picked up at the door of the restaurant. His unique male scent mingled in her mind with those things, and her mind labeled all those things
love.
His fingers combing her hair felt good, too, but then the good feelings began to slip away, just out of reach.
Like an ominous cloud suddenly obscuring the sun, Jack’s strength and size abruptly overwhelmed her. She tried to draw in air, but her airway felt constricted. All at once she was fighting to breathe.
“It’s okay,” she heard Jack saying. “You have to know I’d never hurt you, Beth.”
“I do know,” she told him, but she felt as if she were speaking from far away. Then she blinked and looked into his sorrowful blue eyes. She didn’t know when he’d set her down or how long he’d been kneel
ing before her, but she knew she trusted him. “But I’d hurt
you.
I just did.”
He gifted her with a crooked smile, but still she saw that it was tinged with sadness. “I’m tough.”
She put her hand over his heart. “Not here, you aren’t. I don’t know how to keep from hurting you. And I hate that he comes between us. Please believe that.”
“I understand.”
She shook her head. “I don’t see how you can when I don’t.” And she couldn’t go on hurting him. It was wrong. She couldn’t stand to see the sorrow in his eyes each time she rejected a simple kiss. “I think maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore. I—”
“No.” He ground the word out, silencing her with a gentle finger sealing her lips. “We aren’t giving up the kind of joy we found today in each other’s company because someone hurt you and damaged something inside you. We’re going to work to repair that damage, and this is going to work out. We’re going to fix it with God’s help. I believe that. You have to, too. There’s more to a good relationship than kissing. We’ll work on those things together. Meanwhile, you’ll work with Holly, and I’ll keep my lips and my hands to myself.”
“But I like it when you put your arms around me. Most of the time I feel safe. When you hug me when I’m sad, I feel this beautiful burst of happiness feeling you so close. It’s just when you kiss me that I—” Elizabeth paused, thinking, trying to discern what had happened. “I don’t even know what happens.”
He sat on his heels and smiled. “Okay. Arms—good. Adding lips—bad. We’ll figure out why. I’m not giving up. You aren’t, either. Maybe once we start your self-defense lessons they’ll help by making you feel less vulnerable to someone my size. I’m thinking it’s some kind of automatic response that we need to change into something else.”
“You really mean that? You really think I can learn to defend myself?”
Jack chuckled, his eyes alight with gentle affection. “My sister, Crystal, has been able to put me in the dirt since she was fifteen. We lived on a ranch and we couldn’t always be sure of the extras we hired at roundup time. Even though Dad was careful, you can never be too cautious, so I took self-defense lessons with her. She learned how to take care of herself.”
Feeling more confident, she smiled. “When do we start?”
“Not till I get my coffee and pastries.”
“They’re cannoli, and you have a hollow leg.”
“Only one? Grandmother swore it was both of them.”
“You’re going to get fat, Jack Alton,” she warned with a chuckle as he got lithely to his feet
Jack laughed. “Then there’ll be more of me to love.”
How could I love you any more? she thought, and stared at him for a long moment before going to get their dessert.
“You really do have two hollow legs,” Elizabeth told Jack after watching him devour three cannoli—
one chocolate cream, one vanilla cream and one chocolate chip and ricotta cheese.
“Maybe that’s why you were nearly able to walk them off today.”
“Maybe if you’d listened about wearing the sneakers,” she teased.
Jack stood to help her remove the dishes. He’d pulled his boots off, but he still towered over her. “So are you ready for your first lesson?” he asked, setting the tray he carried on the kitchen counter next to the sink.
Elizabeth looked at him. “This is silly. There’s no way—”
“Uh-uh. There’s no room in my classroom for a doubter. And once you see the way this works you’ll understand. The first thing I want to work on is what to do if someone gets a choke hold on your throat. You told me that Lexington tried to choke you, and you seemed to think you couldn’t breathe earlier.”
Her heart started pounding. Now that he mentioned it, she did remember fighting for breath.
“Calm down,” he said, reading her change of mood perfectly. “I’m the one who’s going to get choked first.” He sat in a chair with his back to her. “This should even us up some. I want you to try to choke me.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
He turned and looked at her. “I’m deadly serious, honey. And I promise, at first I won’t use a bit of strength to defend myself.”
She grimaced. “I’m not sure I like that any better. What if I hurt you?”
“You won’t. Now come on. Give it your best shot.”
Reluctantly she put her hands around his neck.
“Come on, Beth. Like you mean it. Remember how obnoxious I was when we first met?”
That didn’t make it any easier, but she did exert pressure as ordered. And that’s when he surprised her by pushing his fingers then hands, palms out, under her fingers. She pressed harder, carefully at first then with even more pressure.
“You said you wouldn’t use your strength,” she complained and dropped her hands.
“Bloodthirsty little thing you’re turning out to be. All I did was get my hands between yours and my neck. I was just holding them there. No strength at all. As long as my hands are there in that way you can’t choke me. Try again, and I’ll show you how to break an assailant’s hold.”
They worked for about fifteen minutes. He showed her how to use the way the body is formed against someone trying to subdue her with a choke hold. It was so logical an approach she didn’t know why it wasn’t taught to every young girl in school.
As he was leaving, Jack turned at the door, and she knew he was wishing for a kiss good-night. He looked as lonely as she felt.
“I’ll pick you up at nine for church. Sweet dreams,” he said and turned to leave.
But she laid a restraining hand on his arm and
leaned forward from her perch in the doorway to plant a quick peck on his slightly whiskered cheek. “You have sweet dreams, too, Jack Alton.”
He touched her lips with his fingertips and stepped back, saying not a word, but she saw him cover his cheek for a second when he got in the truck. Then he shook his head, started his pickup and drove off down her lane.
Jackson looked next to him at Beth, and his heart once again swelled with pride. He thanked the Lord for her salvation. It had been a touching moment at the service earlier when she’d gone forward and Holly Dillon had gotten up to hug her, shedding a generous amount of tears. His mother had shed enough tears to float a boat herself, especially when Cole Taggert had joined Beth at the front of the church to rededicate himself to the Lord he’d turned his back on years ago.
For a few minutes there, Jackson had been a bit worried that Cole’s presence at Beth’s side was more than a coincidence. But then after Jim Dillon led them all in a public prayer, Cole had turned to Beth, and after a few words, he’d returned to CJ Larson’s side for a congratulatory hug and kiss. The two were obviously in love, and Jackson was able to relax before meeting Beth halfway up the aisle. Her smile had been beatific when she reached him.
I love you.
The words were on the tip of his tongue but he managed to hold back, not wanting to burden her with the weight of his feeling. Beth was wrestling with enough guilt over her fears already.
He’d planned another self-defense lesson for that day, wanting Beth to work on the same move but with him acting as the aggressor this time. He knew the best approach was to give her a feeling of control at the same time Holly was working to show her that Jason Lexington had taken control from her.
Jack had visited a Web site on self-defense and had gotten several tips that gave women more control by teaching them warning signs of dangerous situations and aggressive men. It would be so easy to pledge to always be there for Beth, but that would take her from one prison to another. And his love was all about giving her freedom.
Freedom from fear. Freedom from loneliness. Freedom from the need to hide her real self behind a perfect facade.
Freedom to love.
His lessons and plans would have to wait, though, because Meg had invited them to Laurel House for a lunch celebrating Laurel Glen’s recent blessings. Ross was home and was going to be fine. CJ’s win at the Graystone Cross-country was already boosting business. Little Laurel Taggert, while she had the adult household in an uproar, stole the heart of anyone who came in contact with her. And Cole and Ross had reconciled after years of discord, with Cole turning his heart to the Lord as his father had nearly a year before.
Jackson hoped Meg intended to use this opportunity to announce his true relationship to her, but his mother had once again made a plea for patience. He
understood her feelings and hadn’t wanted to upset her, but he grew increasingly worried that Beth would feel he’d hidden a part of himself from her, especially after she’d shared her most intimate secrets with him. And he didn’t see how he could tell his mother Beth had trust issues without revealing her secrets.
Talk about being between a rock and a hard place!
As he drove under the arch into Laurel Glen, Beth sighed next to him, drawing his attention to the problems he
could
deal with.
“What’s wrong?” he asked her.
“Every time I come here I wish they were my family. Even with all the problems they’ve had, they still hang together.”
“I’ve noticed you don’t blame Ross for the rift between him and Cole.”
“They were both at fault. Two headstrong men refusing to bend or talk about what happened between them. I just hope this isn’t a temporary truce.”
Jackson hesitated, wondering if he should tell her that Cole’s arrest was still a large bone of contention between the two men. He guessed she had a right to know.
“There may be something you can do that would help their relationship.”
Her eyes widened. “Me?”
Nodding, Jackson explained. “Cole continues to protect you, and Ross still believes he wasn’t alone. I’ve heard them argue about it when they didn’t know I was around.”
Her forehead wrinkled adorably as she thought
about what he’d told her. “You think I should tell Cole he’s free to explain?”
“It isn’t fair to come between them, and I think you see that no good came of keeping what happened a secret.”
Her shoulders slumped, and she laced her fingers together, staring at them for a long moment. “You’re right. I’ve been so selfish.”
“No. You were led to believe hiding the truth was the right thing to do, but it wasn’t right for anyone. That was your parents’ fault, not yours.”
“If I get any time alone with Cole today, I’ll tell him he’s free to explain what happened that afternoon and later that night.”
As it turned out, Cole was the first person they came upon at Laurel House. They’d entered the foyer when Jackson’s near twin came bounding down the steps.
“Elizabeth,” his cousin called. “The women are gathering in the nursery for a summit. At issue is Laurel and whether it’s okay for her to suck her thumb.”
“There’s nothing wrong with thumb sucking. I did it.”
“But you had braces,” Cole reminded her. “There was enough metal on those teeth to set off metal detectors.”
Beth put a defiant hand on her hip. “I’ll have you know my dentist said it didn’t have a thing to do with sucking my thumb. My mouth was just too small for my teeth!”
“And beautiful teeth they are,” Cole said, gallantly bowing. “I guess you’d better run on up and cast your vote.”
Beth turned to Jackson. “Do you mind?
He loved seeing her so relaxed. So happy. It was his main hope for her. “Go ahead. I’m sure Cole and I can find something to talk about.”
She looked unsure. “I’ll tell him what I decided. Okay?”
“Any way you want to handle it,” Jackson agreed.
“You and my pal seem to be becoming an item,” Cole said when Beth was out of earshot. He leaned indolently against the thick newel post at the foot of the impressive curved staircase. “Complete with a pet name and all. I’ve never heard anyone call her anything but Elizabeth.”
Jackson knew when he was being baited. Cole still didn’t trust him, and Jackson didn’t blame him. Unfortunately, he was honor bound not to explain his presence. “She’s Beth to me and she isn’t complaining. In fact, she seems to like it,” he replied as mildly as possible, trying not to rise to Cole’s challenge.
“From her cryptic little statement just now, I gather there’s an announcement in the offing. Don’t hurt her, Alton. I know you have an ulterior motive for being here. I haven’t figured it out yet, but there’s something more to you than a new foreman who just suddenly turned up.”
“Beth mentioned that you feel that way. I’m sorry you do. Please believe I’d die before hurting Beth.
She’s had too much heartache in her life, thanks to Lexington and her parents.”
Cole’s eyes widened. “She told you?” he asked, obviously incredulous. “She wouldn’t even talk to me about it when I came home, and I already knew what happened. I assumed she’d mostly put it behind her.”
Jackson shook his head. “I found out because on Thursday the husband of one of her clients ran Beth off Stoney Hollow Road, dragged her out of her car and assaulted her. I got to her not a minute after he smashed her windows to get to her, but she was shaken and confused from a concussion.”
He paused, trying to blot out the memory of those minutes on the road when he’d been so terrified for her. “She thought I was you and it was…that other time,” he continued. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough for saving her that day.”