Her Best Mistake (5 page)

Chapter Six

The sound of someone inhaling close to her ear had Shoshanna slowly opening her eyes. The sun was bright, shone right through the open window, and she groaned softly. Her head pounded horribly, a stale taste filled her mouth, and she had a heavy weight covering her side.

What in the hell?

It took her only a moment to realize where she was, and what had happened last night. Pushing herself up caused another groan to spill from her lips, but it also had her stomach roiling with distaste. God, she had been so drunk.

“It’s too early for you to be getting up.” The deep voice from right behind her had Shoshanna looking over her shoulder to stare at Toby. His short dark hair was mussed around his head, his eyes were closed, and his naked chest was on full display. The sheet was bunched around his waist, the bulge at his crotch impressive, and the fact he was hard turning her on instantly. She turned her gaze away from the massive erection he sported and looked down at her chest. Damn, her entire upper body was visible because of the sheet around her hips, and on top of that the natural light of the sun poured in. That kind of light was not good for a woman.

God.

She grabbed the blanket that had fallen on the ground and tried to wrap herself up as best as she could. She might be more confident than she was back in high school, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t self-conscious of a man seeing her naked. And not just any man, but the second guy she had slept with, and Toby-freaking-Mason.

“A little late for you to be hiding that sweet fucking body, baby,” he said with his eyes still closed. When he rolled onto his back and placed an arm over his face, she took in the sight of his six-pack, of his defined pecs and bulging biceps, and could have just leaned down and licked every inch of him.

Yeah, Shoshanna remembered everything, because no matter how much she’d drunk last night, it didn’t erase the memories of Toby using her body like he owned it. And damn had he owned it, every freaking part of it. She was sore between her thighs, and a pleasant discomfort and twinge when she moved said that she’d been fucked good and hard by someone that knew what they were doing. The stickiness between her legs didn’t go unnoticed, but the pounding in her skull and the nauseous feeling in her abdomen took the front seat right away.

“Can I use your bathroom?” she asked, closing her eyes as a particularly strong thumping started in her head.

“Yeah, baby,” he said in a sleepy voice, and she didn’t let it go to her head that he had called her that endearment. She grabbed her glasses, which were on the bedside table. Shoshanna didn’t even remember setting them there let alone taking them off, but thank because she’d be blind without them.

She got off the bed, grabbed her clothes off the floor, well, the ones she could find, and went out of the room. Shoshanna made her way past the bathroom and to the living room where she found another article of her clothing. She kept the blanket wrapped around her and made her way back down the hallway. The house was small, with only two bedrooms and a bathroom. She might have been drunk on lust and booze last night, but she’d noticed some things.

After heading into the bathroom and closing the door, she looked around. It was small, but clean, had an array of manly looking things on the counter and lining the lip of the tub. It smelled like Toby, and memories of what they’d done last night, of how their skin had been sweaty and pressed together, played through her mind. She let the blanket fall from her body and stared at her reflection in the mirror. There were small bruises on her hips, and when she looked down she saw there were fingerprint sized blue and purple marks on her thighs as well. The sight of those had her pussy becoming wet, but then she felt the discomfort between her legs once more. Everything came crashing back regarding the moment right before she passed out.

“Oh God. He came in me.” She started to freak out. Not only was she not on any birth control, but she also didn’t know how safe Toby had been with his past sexual partners. She was clean given the fact she had only been with one man, besides Toby, and then afterward been so freaked out she’d gotten tested. Shoshanna started to sweat and quickly got dressed. She needed to talk this out with him, needed to tell him that she wasn’t on the pill and what they had done was so irresponsible. After she washed her face she found some ibuprofen and mouthwash in the medicine cabinet. Putting on her clothes with a horrendous headache was a bitch, but it got worse when she couldn’t find her panties.

“Screw it” she muttered to herself and finished getting dressed. After taking a few of the pills and then rinsing her mouth out, she grabbed the bottle of pain relievers and headed back into the bedroom. He was still lying in the same position, his arm still over his eyes. But when he heard her enter he pushed himself up and grinned. His muscles flexed and bunched, and when he lowered his gaze up and down her body she lit up instantly.

“You look better in the morning light for sure.” He lay back down, placed his arms behind his head, and grinned at her. Damn, he was a very fine specimen of the male form, and with the sleepy, disheveled look he had going on she could almost imagine that this wouldn’t end with her never seeing him again. But of course that wasn’t the reality. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and cleared her throat.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “But we should probably talk about last night, and the fact we didn’t use any protection.”

He pushed himself up on the bed again, this serious look on his face. “Fuck, no we didn’t.” Toby turned and stared out the window, ran a hand over his face, and breathed. “Fuck.”

Yeah, she couldn’t have said it better herself.

****

He was a damn fool with a hard-on for a woman he’d known practically his whole life. He looked at Shoshanna again, knowing that the night before had been the best sex he’d ever had, even though he had been drunk as fuck. The fact was she thought he hadn’t noticed her back in the day, or even before he had talked to her for the first time really their senior year. He
had
noticed her, had seen how much better she was than he was, how gorgeous and smart she was. The fact was he had been one cocky ass motherfucker that had thought about football and pussy. He hadn’t accidently run into her that day in the hallway. There had been a lot he had wanted to say to her, but then Marilyn had shown up, who had been one of the biggest mistakes he’d ever made.

He stared at Shoshanna, wishing he had been more responsible, but he didn’t want to fuck things up with her. “I’m clean, Shoshanna.” He’d never been with a woman unprotected, even if he did have the reputation of being a man-whore, which he hated being referred to as. Yeah, he’d been with his fair share of women, but it wasn’t like he had a female in his bed every other night. He found company at times, because he was alone in Silver Springs now, and loneliness could eat a man alive.

“I’ve always used protection with a woman.”

Shoshanna moved toward him, sat on the edge of the bed, and breathed out. “Except me.” She looked at him. “And I’m not on the pill.”

His heart started beating a little faster at that, because this was not something he’d thought about in the heat of the moment, or when he had been drunk. The fact was all he’d been thinking about was being with Shoshanna, touching her lush, curvy body, and finally sampling all that the good girl had to offer. Before he could respond, say something that wouldn’t make this situation even more fucked, his cell went off.

He got off the bed, grabbed his boxers and slipped them on before heading to his dresser for his phone. He saw his mother’s number on the screen, knitting his brows because it was early as hell for her to be calling. This knot formed in his stomach.

“Hey, Mom.” Since his mother had moved to Utah a few years back to relocate with his father, Toby had been alone in Silver Springs. It got lonely at times, but his job was here, his friends that he hung out with when they had time, and he wouldn’t move just to have to start over again. This was his home, and had been for his entire life.

“Toby,” his mother said, and it sounded like she was crying.

He glanced at Shoshanna and saw her watching him. He held up a finger for her to give him a minute. “Mom, what’s wrong?” He left the bedroom, feeling his heart start to race, his palms sweat, and this dread fill him.

“It’s your father.” She sniffed. “He’s had a heart attack and passed away.”

Toby stared at the wall, and continued to hear his mother say those words over and over again. Although he should feel some kind of remorse, sadness, even pain, all he felt was this emptiness. “I’m coming now.” He hung up the phone and continued to stare at the wall, thinking about the fucked-up childhood he’d had thanks to his old man.

“Toby, is everything okay?”

He turned and stared at Shoshanna, wishing that he’d gotten this call when she wasn’t here, because this made this shitty situation even worse. He just wanted to bask in the aftereffects of being with her, of feeling things for her he’d never felt in his life. Toby turned and faced her. She sat on the edge of the bed, her hands clasped tightly in her lap and her nervousness tangible. No doubt she could see how he stood there still and stone, tense with the anger he felt emitting from him. Hell, he felt like he would combust at any minute from what he felt. “My dad passed away.” He stared at her and watched as her eyes widened. “That was my mother.” He leaned against the dresser and crossed his arms, staring at the floor.

“I’m so sorry. You must be crushed.” Her voice was genuine, her emotions full and loving, but he felt nothing for what had happened.

“I don’t feel anything but this emptiness,” he said without emotion.

“That’s understandable,” she said.

He shook his head. “No, I mean I feel nothing for his death. He was a bastard.”

“Oh,” Shoshanna said in a softer voice. They stayed silent for a moment, and then she breathed out and said, “Well, I’m sorry about that, too.”

He stared at her knowing this woman was one of a kind, but also realizing that he didn’t deserve her. He’d been a piece of shit his entire life, taking what was offered to him because he could, and not caring about anything that didn’t have to do with his end result. What a bastard he’d been. After senior year she had gone off to college, and he had immersed himself in work, climbing the ranks of the construction company he was affiliated with, and where he was now the foreman. He worked hard, made an honest living, and although he wasn’t the same asshole he’d been in high school, he was far from a good guy. But looking at Shoshanna made him want to be a better person, had made him feel that way back in senior year. He wanted to strive like she had in her life, and it made him hate the reputation he had for being a bad boy.

Chapter Seven

One week later

Toby felt like he as suffocating in this black suit. He stood under the awning that covered his father’s gravesite. The air was humid and warm because of the heat and rain, and the sound of hushed murmurs and sorrowful cries filled his head. These people didn’t know how Robert Mason really was, not unless they had lived under the same roof as the drunken man. Robert had liked to come home and take down a twelve pack of beer, liked to start shit with his wife and son because he hated his job, his life, and had no one else to relieve that anger with. Robert Mason had liked beating his son, verbally abusing his wife, and slapping her around because he was a worthless piece of shit human that should never have had a family.

Standing between her mother and grandmother, Toby listened to them sniff out their sadness. How could his mom mourn the death of a man that had tormented her for years? Did she not feel any relief that her nightmare was finally over with? He looked at his mother, the shell of a woman she used to be before she was hit every day, emotionally and verbally cut down, and tried to save her son that was caught in it all. God, his childhood had been filled with a lot of anger and fear on his part, and it hadn’t been until he was old enough to fight back that he finally put a stop to his father’s tirades.

But as he stared at his mother, saw her red-rimmed eyes, the tears that streamed down her face, he knew this was all she had ever known. That was why she’d stayed, even though Toby had told her to leave, to live with him in Silver Springs.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and felt nothing as he stared at the coffin that held his father’s corpse. Robert’s heart had just exploded in his chest, stopped working because of the years of drinking and stress he’d put on his body. The priest softly spoke, reading from his black leather-bound Bible. Placed on top of the casket was a bundle of white roses, so pure and innocent that it was the opposite of what Robert Mason had been. Toby wrapped his arm around his mother’s shoulder, pulled her in close, and listened to her cry harder. As he watched the coffin slowly sink into the earth, he felt this sense of freedom, and how fucked up was that?

****

The music overhead was somber, slow, and made the entire atmosphere even more depressing. Although Toby still felt nothing, was void of emotion inside of him, and he knew that this was how he would always feel. He hadn’t loved his father for far too long, had hated him in fact, and this was just another step in the direction that Toby had always dreamed of when he had been lying in bed with a black eye courtesy of his father. He stared out his mother’s living room window, saw the cars continue to pull up and park, and saw the black dressed people make their way into the house. Bringing his red Solo cup to his mouth, he drank half of the vodka. He wasn’t about to drink the lemonade the people were handing out. He needed something stronger to get through this fucked-up time.

“Hey, man.”

The sound of Ace Renaldo’s voice behind Toby had him turning and staring at the guy that had been his best friend while growing up. “Well shit, man. It’s been a long time.” They clasped each other on the back, and when he pulled away he saw the uncomfortable expression on his face. “How in the hell did you find me?”

“Believe it or not, your mom is the one who found me. About a week before your dad passed away she found my phone number and address, thinking getting us to reunite would be good. Your mom’s like a detective.” He grinned.

His mother had a good, pure heart. It was just a damn shame she had gotten involved with his drunken, piece of shit father.

“You look well, though,” Ace said and smiled. “Lots of people turned out for him.”

Yeah, Ace knew the truth about what Toby had gone through on a daily basis with his dad. Ace had gone through the same thing, only a lot more violent, in his own home. Growing up next door to a guy that had been going through the same horrific life had been a godsend when Toby had nowhere else to turn and no one else to talk to. But then Ace had left right before freshman year of high school. That had been the time Toby had started fighting back with his father, not letting the violence continue without a fight.

“Toby, it’s been a lot of years, brother.”

He’d thought of Ace as a brother, the closest thing he had to a best friend, and the closest member of his family he ever had. But the years had passed, they had lost touch, and this was the first time he had seen Ace since the summer before the ninth grade. “Yeah, it has been a long time, man.” Toby finished off his vodka, and pointed to the kitchen. “You probably need a drink, too.”

Ace nodded, and they headed out of the living room and into the kitchen. A few people that loitered inside left when they entered, giving Toby their condolences as they exited.

“This is crazy shit, man,” Ace said and grabbed the glass of vodka Toby handed him. He tipped it back and downed the whole thing. The kitchen was silent for a moment, and all the memories of the times they had sat in the dark and talked about how shitty their dads were came flooding back to Toby. He saw the way Ace’s shirt sleeve rose up, and the burn scars from the cigars his old man had smoked and put out on Ace’s skin littering the tanned, muscular flesh. He lifted his gaze over Ace’s impressive height and weight, and knew the other man had not let his past control him. He looked healthy now, with a head full of short, dark hair, and light green eyes that had looked with fear and sorrow at Toby when they were children.

“So, how’ve you been?” Toby asked. “You look well, like you’ve been keeping active and healthy.” He was glad Ace had found a semblance of peace, at least on the outside.

“I’ve been good, working at a commercial contractor firm, making good money, and just trying to bury all the fucking shit from the past.”

Toby nodded. “I wish we would have kept in touch, man.”

Ace looked down at the ground and nodded. “Yeah, me too, Toby. After we moved my dad kept me pretty isolated. He couldn’t even pay his fucking bills, let alone have a phone in the house. I tried to write you once, but the asshole saw the letter and tore it up.”

Toby could imagine all of that. He had seen the abuse Ace had gone through at the hands of that sadistic asshole back in the day, watched through his windows as Gerald Renaldo slapped Ace around, tossed his small body across the room like he was nothing but a ragdoll. The one time Toby had called the cops, hoping to ease Ace’s suffering, he had been seven years old. What a mistake that had been. Ace had gotten worse after the cops had left, and Toby’s dad had been on a bender and found out he had been the one to make the call. He’d never done that again for fear of his friend’s life.

“He’s dead,” Ace said without emotion. “Took an overdose of pills and booze one night. Can’t say I miss the bastard.”

Toby didn’t know what to say. “Shit, man. I wish I could have been there for you, kept in touch.”

Ace nodded. “Me, too, Toby, but that’s all said and done. We don’t have to put up with any kind of bullshit anymore.” He finished off his alcohol, and set the empty cup on the counter. “Your mom looks tore up, man.”

Toby nodded. “Yeah, even after everything my dad put her through, she doesn’t know any other life without him in it.”

“You think she’ll be okay?” Ace asked.

Toby shrugged. “I don’t know honestly, but I hope so. She’s a strong woman at heart, just needs to find herself after all of this.” They stood there in silence, neither able to say anything because the tension in the room was so thick. No doubt Ace was thinking about all the shit from the past right now, too. “Listen, let’s go out tonight, get drunk, and not worry about all this bullshit.”

Ace grinned. “Best thing I’ve heard all day.”

****

They’d been at the bar for the last few hours, and Toby was good and drunk. Even though they’d been talking about random shit, staying away from the more sensitive subject such as their asshole, drunken and abusive fathers, there was still the heavy weight of that hanging over them.

“Although I know what your old man did to you, I am sorry about his death.”

Toby nodded, picked up his shot, and tossed it back. “Yeah, well shit happens. I’m sorry about your old man, too. If I had known I would have been there for you, Ace.”

Ace clapped him on the back. “I know, but honestly, a pretty big part of me feels like my dad’s death is on my hands.” The forlorn look on Ace’s face told Toby that this wasn’t something to get into right now.

He lifted his hand for the bartender to bring them another round. When fresh shots were in front of them he thought about all the shit his dad had done to him and his mom. There wasn’t any sadness in him over his dad’s death. In fact, he felt pissed, so full of rage as the abuse from all those years came back to the forefront of his mind. Before he could finish his drink someone from behind him slammed into his back, tipping over the shot glass. The alcohol spilled along the counter, and his rage grew. He had wanted that damn shot, and the intoxicated state he was in right now, the memories surfacing through his head, and the images of what had been taken away from him and his mom for so long made this beast inside of him rise. He turned his head and saw some asshole glaring at him.

“Watch it,” the asshole said, and tried to push between him and Ace to get the bartender.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Toby asked, not hiding his anger. The guy looked at him, his drunken state pretty damn clear, but his attitude and lack of common courtesy making Toby want to beat his ass.

“This is a bar, a place to get drinks, not sit there and stare at the wall, like you and your friend have been doing for the last hour.”

Toby curled his hand into a fist on the counter, and before he could stop himself he turned and slammed his fist into the other man’s face. This surge of satisfaction filled Toby when the prick fell back and grunted out in pain. He was out of his seat and hauling the guy off the ground. “You fucked with the wrong guy on the wrong day, asshole.” Toby hit the prick again, and once more. The guy started swinging, cursing out foul insults and trying to get the upper hand. But Toby knew how to fight, knew how to handle himself because of the life he had led.

The guy got a hit in, but it wasn’t optimum in positioning and skimmed Toby’s cheek. Toby threw a left hook, and then a right uppercut. The other guy fell back on his ass once more, and it was clear the fight was draining from him fast. People were moving out of the way, and Toby knew that this fight would be shut down pretty fast by the owner of the bar.

“Get up, motherfucker,” Toby gritted out.

The other guy finally pulled his sorry ass off the ground, and turned his head to spit out a mouthful of blood. He suddenly charged toward Toby like he’d gotten a second wind, or thought he could possibly win. He swung left, and then right, but he was no match for the built-up anger Toby had inside of him. He swung out once more, but Toby clocked him in the face, knocking him back on his ass.

“We need to get out of here, man. The owner called the cops,” Ace said and pulled him toward the front doors. The guy was out cold on the floor, and Toby spit on him. Yeah, maybe not the way to spend this evening, but fuck it all to hell.

Twenty minutes later and
Toby stumbled away from the taxi, walked up the porch steps, and braced a hand on the banister. The cab behind him skidded out of the neighborhood, and Toby grabbed his keys from his pocket, realized he wasn’t back home in Silver Springs, and cursed. For shits and giggles he tried the handle, surprised that it was unlocked, and stepped inside. The living room of his mom’s place was dark, cold even. Before he had left with Ace he had made sure his mom had been okay. She had all but pushed him out of the house, telling him to spend time with Ace. And that was what he had done, for the last five hours, and until he couldn’t even see straight. His cell vibrated when he stepped inside and shut the door. Fishing out his cell from his pocket he saw the screen, recognized Ace’s number that he had given him earlier in the evening, and answered.

“I’m surprised you can even dial my number, man,” Toby slurred and lowered his voice.

Ace started chuckling. “Just wanted to make sure you got home okay, and that you aren’t feeling any pain from that fight,” Ace said in an equally slurred voice. “I knew you were just as fucked up as I was, and you were in a bad spot at the end.”

Yeah, he was, but the fight had gotten some of his anger out. “I’m good, man, and I’m glad you’re home safely, too.” Toby moved through the house on unsteady legs, knocked his shin into the coffee table, cursed, and stopped. He continued to move through the house, up the stairs, and stopped at his mother’s bedroom. The door was slightly open, and he saw her sound asleep in the center of the bed. She wasn’t crying, and for that he was thankful, but he hoped that she allowed herself to heal healthy, because moaning over a man that had beaten her on more than one occasion was not something she should put her energy into.

He headed into his bedroom, shut the door, and closed his eyes as the room spun. “You still there?” he asked Ace when there was nothing but silence.

“Yeah, thought I was going to fucking upchuck those shots.”

Toby chuckled.

“Okay, I’m going to head off the phone, because my bed is looking pretty damn good right now.”

“We’ll talk soon, Ace. I have a feeling I’m going to be here for a while with my mom, wrapping up all of my old man’s affairs, and making sure everything is straight before I head back.”