Heavy Issues (34 page)

Todd walking out of the front door pulled him out of his reverie. The weasel looked chagrined and was muttering under his breath.

As he came closer, he rolled his eyes and, probably thinking he was being very clever, motioned backward with his head.

“All yours, buddy,” Todd said smugly. “Give it your best shot.”

Before Cole realized he’d moved, he had Todd pinned to the car he’d been leaning on a second ago. He lifted him by the shirt.

“You bet she’s all mine. And don’t you fucking forget it.”

“But you and her aren’t—”

“Whatever is between her and me is none of your business. If you ever contact her to get money from her, I’ll rip you apart—literally. And that’s nothing compared with what I’ll do to you if you ever contact her to try and get back into her graces. Do we understand each other?”

Todd nodded effusively.

Cole was itching to give the fucker a beating, but he took a deep breath and forced himself to release him. Fucking the bastard up wouldn’t impress Christy. There’d be too much blood on her doorstep.

The jerk hurried away without looking backward.

He was about to walk to the door to knock when it opened, and there was Christy. His stomach took a nosedive, and his heart jumped into his throat. Man, she was beautiful. He perused her with hungry eyes; her hair was all around her, those deep auburn highlights glistening under the California sun, and she was wearing the black dress he’d given her for her birthday. He went instantly hard. Fantastic. That’s what he needed, to flaunt a hell of a hard-on at her. That would certainly make him look contrite and help his cause. Willing his dick to recede and not totally succeeding, he took a step forward.

She was carrying a big suitcase plus the carry-on she’d had when she left Alden. Why was it that every time he saw her lately, she was carrying suitcases? It didn’t matter, though, and he wouldn’t let it matter.

“Running away again?”

She stopped dead in her tracks, looking very much surprised. She hadn’t been expecting him. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it again.

He came closer. “You haven’t been returning my calls.”

“I’ve been busy,” she retorted in a clipped tone.

“Yeah, I heard,” he answered as sheepishly as he could. “How’s Fred?”

Surprise flickered in her eyes. “So you know about him.”

“No thanks to you.”

She pursed her lips and gave him an icy stare. Maybe being belligerent wasn’t the best course of action. He cleared his throat, lowered his eyes, and shifted his weight on his feet.

“Is he going to be okay?”

She rolled her eyes and nodded. “I came running back fearing the worst, but it wasn’t a heart attack. It was gallstones. Several years living with Martha and she’s already managed to give him stones. It figures. There were some complications, and they’ve decided to remove his gallbladder, but he’ll live.”

He looked at the bags. “Do you have five minutes to spare?” She didn’t answer, didn’t even move. “Are you going to invite me in, or should we carry on with this conversation in the street?”

She let him in and then, crossing her arms over her chest, came to stand in front of him. “So?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you had to go back to LA for an emergency? You let me believe—”

“Don’t you dare pin that on me. I let you believe what you wanted to believe,” she said, irate.

He shuffled his feet and lowered his eyes. “Still, you could have said something.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten through to you anyway. You had that look on your face. You didn’t trust me.”

“I’m sorry, Christy. I saw the bags and I thought…” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I was just protecting myself.”

“You shut me out,” she accused him, tapping a finger on his chest. “You thought I was walking out on you, and before I could explain myself to you, you erected the frigging Great Wall of China around you and locked me out. You dismissed me as if I wasn’t worth your effort or time. As if I didn’t matter to you.”

He winced at her words. “You matter to me, a lot. I freaked out, Christy.” He caressed her arms, and when she didn’t move away, he got bolder and brushed her chin. “I was protecting myself the only way I knew. Sorry, babe,” he repeated. It was lame, he knew, but it was all he could say in his defense. The truth was that she alone had the power to hurt him unlike anyone ever before, and he’d been terrified. He still was.

“It was the wrong way, Cole.” She took a step back. “What do you want? What are you doing here?”

He shrugged. “I wanted to see you. I was hoping I could convince you to come back to Alden. Mrs. Wilkinson is going crazy, sweetheart. She can’t manage without you. She needs you.”

Her nostrils flared. “
She
needs me to come back?” she asked with a tone full of warning. “That’s what you came here to tell me, that
she
needs me?”

He drew a breath in and shook his head, a huge ball constricting his throat.

“Mrs. Wilkinson is going crazy without you, but that’s not the reason why I came.
I
need you, sweetheart.
I
can’t manage without you.” Here he went, testing those premises he’d sworn never to test…hell, the ones he’d sworn never to have. “Please, baby, I need you to forgive me, and I need you back with me. Please. I know I’ve hurt you and I know I don’t deserve you but I want a second chance.”

“You don’t believe in second chances, Cole,” she whispered.

“But you do, and I think we’ve already established you’re the smart one here.”

She didn’t say anything, her big brown eyes locked on his. The same eyes that always saw too much and terrified him. Now he just held her gaze. No walls.

“I’m in love with you, Christy. I’ve been for a while, probably since the beginning. God knows I’ve tried to fight it, but I can’t. No one has ever owned any part of me, until now. You own me, love. Heart, soul, body. All of me, I’m yours.”

She staggered back and dropped onto the sofa. He sank on his knees in front of her. Which was fitting, because he was begging.

“Please come home with me. For me.” He was fucking shaking, his voice too, his white-knuckled hands fisted, his nails digging into his palms. He couldn’t do anything else, so he cupped her neck.

“I love you, babe, so fucking much I don’t know what to do without you,” he said into her lips. “Please don’t leave me.”

Her eyes welled, and she shook her head.

Oh shit, no, he couldn’t take it. “Sweetheart, please, you’re my life. I swear—”

She wiped the tears that were rolling down her cheeks with the back of her hands and threw herself at him.

CHRISTY COULDN’T SEE a damn thing. The tears were making things swim in front of her. She still couldn’t believe Cole had come for her. And now he was here, telling her he loved her. On his knees. Looking all vulnerable and lost, his eyes pleading.

Curling her arms around his neck, she kissed him back, stroking his tongue with hers, letting his heat seep into her, reassuring her he was there.

“I love you too, Cole,” she whispered between kisses.

He closed his eyes, trembling in her arms. “I was afraid I’d lost you. I couldn’t take that. I love you too much. I…”

He shook his head. His gaze dropped.

“Shh. You can’t lose me. I’m yours, Cole. Always have been.”

He smiled and kissed her, his hands reverently mapping her face.

“You didn’t tell me where you’re going. Running away?”

“I wasn’t running away. I was going back home.”

“Home?” he asked.

She took the plane ticket from her purse and showed it to him. She wouldn’t have left things as they were, never mind how mad she’d been. How hurt.

“To Alden. That’s why I didn’t answer your calls. I wanted to talk to you face-to-face.”

Cole’s eyes softened, and he caressed her chin. “You were coming to me?”

She nodded. She’d missed Cole like crazy, with a longing she couldn’t explain. She’d been devastated at first, then furious, but she understood why he’d acted like he had. He’d been scared. She was scared too, but she loved him, dammit, and she wasn’t going to make it so easy for him to walk away.

“And your life here? Your career?” he asked.

Christy shrugged. “Software engineering is a portable job, you know. And I kind of miss Mrs. Wilkinson myself.”

He grinned.

Concerning her mother, she’d sat her and Fred down and explained she was moving to Boston—permanently. No more uncalled-for drama. It was time she lived her own life. Unless aliens were invading California, and only if they had malicious intentions, Martha wasn’t allowed to go over her allotted once-a-week phone call.

“I was coming back to kick your ass to kingdom come for your stunt.”

“I swear I wasn’t cheating on you,” he said, nuzzling her face. “I thought we’d gone over that already, sweetheart.”

She shrugged. “I figured that much. The girls called me. They had a chat with Rose. I’m sorry I overreacted, but I don’t think you can blame me. If you found me under the same circumstances with Todd—”

“I would have killed him.”

“I bet you would.” There was no question about that in her mind.

“And speaking of that asshole, I saw him while I was waiting here.”

She shot him a suspicious glare. “Did you do something to him?”

“Nope, I figured Mrs. Patty would do enough damage to him the second he tries to get the ring from her. Next time he comes close to you though, whatever fucking excuse he uses, I’m annihilating him.”

Christy rolled her eyes. “Such a readiness to use violence is a very commendable trait for a soldier. Not so good for a boyfriend.”

He offered her a crooked smile. “Me, readiness to use violence? Funny that you’d say that, because Rose is sporting a black eye. Care to explain that?”

“I’m done being rational and avoiding confrontation.”

She hadn’t slugged anyone in her life. Now she couldn’t say the same.

“So, we’re breaking bad now?”

“Yep.” He was hers. It was about time she defended what was hers.

He chuckled and took her mouth again, his big hands cupping her head, his thumbs caressing her cheeks.

“Not that I’m complaining or anything, but if you weren’t coming back to kick my ass for the Rose incident, why were you going to chew my ass off?”

“For shutting me out.”

He winced. “Christy baby, I’m so sorry. I was scared, I saw the bags and… I tried to stop my mother from leaving when I was small. It didn’t work. The more I begged, the quicker she packed. At the end she just lied her way out of there.”

It killed her to see the hurt in his face. She hugged him. “Oh, Cole. I’m not like her. I would never do that to you. You’re safe with me.”

“Yeah, I am, baby.”

“Just so you know, though, in a couple of weeks I’ll have to go to the state’s library convention. Don’t freak out on me when you see me packing.”

He offered her a contrite smile. “I’ll try not to. One thing I can assure you: I will not walk out on you again, no matter how many suitcases you’re packing. I’ll stick around, yelling and demanding explanations and generally being a pain in the ass, but I won’t walk out on you again. Ever.” He cupped her face. “Just bear with me, sweet thing. I’m not good at communicating. I don’t deal too well with situations where I’m vulnerable. I shut down.”

“Don’t I know it. Again, keeping your emotions in check is a very admirable trait for a soldier, as is being gung ho. Not so much for a boyfriend.”

He cleared his throat. “What about for a husband? Would I be considered for the position if I promise to work on these two traits?” Before she could collect her jaw from the floor, he continued, “And I have other virtues: I’m dependable, I never give up, I’ll defend you to my very last breath, and I’ll love you unconditionally forever.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “What are you actually saying?” she whispered, trying very hard not to cry.

He leaned his forehead into hers and took a deep breath. “I love you, Christy. And I want you back for good. I want to marry you.” He reached for his pocket and took out a velvety box.

Her eyes welled again.

Through her tears she saw a square-cut diamond set in a platinum band. It was beautiful and elegant without being ostentatious. Just perfect. Like the man offering it to her.

“I know I fucked up, I let my past blind me, but I will never shut you out again. I need you in my life. I’ll be the best husband I know how to be.”

“Are you sure about marrying me? I’d want the whole package, Cole. All the strings. The babies, the picket fence.”

“Bring them on. I can’t wait. And I’d be honored to have babies with you. If you’ll have me.”

“I have a less than desirable mother. Although in more contained form than before, she’s going to be in my life. That means she’ll be in yours too.”

“Well, we’ll just have to put up with her, won’t we?”

“As stoically as you put up with my music, my diet sodas, and my weird eating habits?”

He smiled and nodded. “Please, baby, put me out of my misery and tell me you’ll marry me.”

“I’ll marry you, Cole Bowen. Of course I’ll marry you.” In a heartbeat. “Sorry I threw the coffee at your lap. Did I…injure you?”

He laughed. “Why does everybody keep asking the same thing?”

She was about to ask him who’d been asking about his dick, but then he pressed himself against her and she lost her train of thought. No, no injuries of any kind.

“Are we in a hurry?” he said, nuzzling her chin with his mouth.

She shook her head. She’d been in a hurry to get back to him, to Cole. Now she wasn’t in a hurry anymore. She had all that she needed here in his arms.

“No. Why? You want to show me how everything always boils down to sex?”

He kissed her lips. “With you it always boils down to love, sweetheart. Forever.”