Hear Me When the Sun Goes Down (32 page)

It was all wrong. 

His intimate touch had the opposite effect on me, filling me with such a sense of revulsion at the invasion, it was enough for me to tear my mouth away from the temptation of his blood.  He’d compelled me to drink from him, and I had.  But he hadn’t compelled me to do anything more, and my own natural disgust was strong enough to combat the side effect
s of the blood. 

“That’s enough,” I breathed, squirming out of his grasp.  Jakob held tight to me, attempting to bring my lips back to his neck. 

“Don’t stop, beloved,” he pleaded, but that made me feel even more repulsed.   

“I can’t believe you did that to me,” I spat out, swiping at my mouth with the back of my hand.  “You promised you wouldn’t compel me to do anything I didn’t want to.”

“It was for your own good.”  There was no remorse in his voice, only disappointment that the spell had been broken.  But I used his relaxed state to pull completely free, lurching to my feet, legs unsteady as they carried me to the other side of the room. 

“Whatever helps you sleep.”  His blood still thrummed through my veins, filling me with a nervous energy, like I’d had too many shots of espresso on an empty stomach.  “You had no right to take advantage of me like that.” 

“I felt your enjoyment, if only you would relax and trust in me…”

Trust in him?  Did he not understand the meaning of the word?  “Take me home.” 

“You are home.”

“I mean it, Jakob.  I want to go home
now
.” 

“
Älskling
…”

“Don’t call me that, I’m not your beloved.  I’m nothing but a puppet on a string to you.” 

“You are not a puppet to me, you don’t understand all I’ve sacrificed for you,” he scowled.

“And you’re not listening to me.  Take me home or I’ll walk there myself.”

“Fine,” he relented, pushing himself up to his feet.  “I’ll take you now.” 

“You don’t have to come with me, I can make it there in your limo just fine.”

“I will see you safely home.”

I didn’t argue as long as he did as I asked.  Neither of us spoke for the ride home and I think maybe, he’d started to realize the error of his ways.  Then again, maybe he was planning his next attempt to control me, anything was possible.  Still, his words when the limo came to a stop gave me hope.

“I only want your continued health and happiness,” he said, holding onto my hand. 

“Then you should take a good hard look at your methods,” I replied, tugging my
self free.  “Goodnight, Jakob.” 

I couldn’t meet Rob’s eyes when I got home.  Far more uncomfortable than I’d been leaving Bishop’s apartment, I went straight for my room and took a long hot shower, trying to wash away the vestiges of Jakob’s touch.  Emerging cleaner, but no less upset over my actions, I slipped on a satiny pink robe, stopping in the bathroom door as I spotted a large square box on the bed, wrapped in red ribbon. 

Inside the box was a worn
, portable record player, the kind that came in its own small suitcase.  There was a smaller box wedged in alongside it with a stack of old forty-fives with music going all the way back to the thirties.  I thumbed through them, reading off hits by Billie Holliday, Doris Day, Frank Sinatra.  These were Rob’s records. 
Aw, he’d given me an old school version of a mix tape!

Fast losing my doldrums, I plugged the machine in and selected one of the records I’d heard him
play before.  Nina Simone came over the scratchy speaker singing
You Don’t Know What Love Is
.  I closed my eyes for a few seconds, listening to her sing the blues before I went in search of the man who’d left the gift for me. 

I found him sitting on the end of his bed, suit coat and tie next to him, easing off his suspenders. 

“Hi there,” I smiled.  “Do I have you to thank for that?”  My head tipped toward my bedroom where Nina sang on.

“Thought you might like it.  Was just gathering dust here.”

That wasn’t strictly true, I’d heard him use it before.  “It’s not my birthday yet though.”

“Seemed like a bit of cheering was wanted, yeah?”

“Uh huh,” I agreed.  Big time.  “Thank you, I love it.”

A smile nudged one corner of his mouth higher.  “At least you won’t be as likely to lose this one.”

Just like that my enthusiasm soured.  “I know, I didn’t mean to lose your necklace.  I’ve torn apart everything I brought back with me from England, but I can’t find it anywhere.”

“Did you look here?” he asked, dangling the silver locket from his fingers
and my jaw dropped. 

“Where did you get that?”

“Bishop returned it to me after the Order gave back what they confiscated.”

“Ah, so that’s how he guessed.  Is it still mine?”

“What do you think?” Rob smirked, stepping behind me to fasten it around my neck, leaning in to kiss my neck when he was done.  “There, back where it belongs,” he rumbled, fingers boldly brushing along the tops of my shoulders, down to reach for my hand.  “Dance with me.”

It was like that shared dream, but not.  This was a Rob who was emboldened by our state of privacy, but softer, less driven by the need to control things.  I went to him, my cheek against his shoulder in my bare feet, relishing the feel of his strong arms around me as we moved together to the soulful music.  

As much as I savored that perfect time together, I had to get something off my chest.  “There’s something I should tell you, about tonight with Jakob.”

“I don’t want to know.”

But I needed him to.  “He compelled me to drink his blood.  He said it was for my protection.  Do you have any idea why he might do that?”

“He wants to keep you safe.”  Rob shrugged.  “His blood will make you stronger, as it’s done for my family over the years.”

“Will my blood make you stronger?”

“Not as strong as his, but yes.”

“Will it keep you with me forever?”

“No, not forever, but for a good long time.”

That was good enough for me at the time.  Some day we might get to the question over whether or not he might consider joining the vampire club, but not yet.  For the moment, it was enough to be together, and I definitely preferred him alive.  We danced until the song ran out and started again, the record set for repeat. 

“I didn’t sleep with him.”  I thought it needed saying, and I felt his arms tighten perceptibly around me.  “He wanted me to, but…”

“Shhh… just dance with me.”  His mouth covered mine, effectively silencing me as he danced me backwards, his foot kicking out to shut the door behind us as we reached my bedroom.  I heard the lock turn and then his arm was around me again, guiding me to the bed. 

“I thought you wanted to dance?” I asked, as he carried me the last few feet, depositing me on top of the covers. 

“Too right we’ll dance,” he said, his voice full of promise as he moved the stack of records and empty boxes to a nearby chair.  I rolled onto my hip to watch him undress, admiring the play of muscles as he slipped off his shirt.   

“I like the suspenders,” I said, as he worked off the pants next.  “Very retro.”

“Button’s come off my pants, needed a bit of assistance,” he shrugged. 

“Ah, well, if you’re in need of assistance with your pants… I
’m happy to help you,” I smiled, pulling at the waistband of his boxers, tumbling him onto the bed next to me.  Rob recovered swiftly enough, bracing himself up on one arm to look down at me. 

“I didn’t think we’d ever find our way here again.”

“That’s part of what I love about you, your cheery optimism,” I snorted, but he didn’t lose the serious expression on his face.

“I ain’t joking.  I never thought you was for me.”

I took hold of his face with both hands, bringing it down to kiss the wrinkle of worry between his brows.  “I’m yours in every way that matters,” I whispered.  “If you need convincing, I’d be happy to show you.”

His fingers loosened the knot of my robe, reaching inside to splay over my cool skin.  “How’s about we show each other?”  How could I say no to that?

“You can drink if you want to,” he offered when I found my way to his neck. 

I laved my tongue over the throb of his pulse.  “No, I don’t need anything but you, not even your blood.  Unless you need some of mine?”  I tried to work out how long it’d been since he’d tasted Jakob’s blood back in Vetis, but it was hard to think when he touched me like that.

“I don’t need nothing else but you in my arms.”

Who would’ve guessed he was a romantic?  “Where I belong,” I grinned back at him, giggling as he rolled us, landing squarely on top of me.

“Try not to be too loud, yeah?  We got people right outside, they’ll think you’re being murdered in your bed, you sing out like last time.”

“You have my permission to muffle my mouth with anything you want if you think I’m getting to be too noisy.”

“Is that a fact?” He cocked a brow at me, a corresponding twitch from below letting me know he was very interested in the idea.  “Could call for a fair bit of contortion, but I’m game.”

“Though to be fair, it seems like I could make all the noise I want.  Who’s to say I’m not in here by myself, having a little
private Anja happy time while everyone’s away.”

“Is that a thing you do often?” The cocked eyebrow grew more pronounced and I lowered my voice to a throaty purr.

“Only when I’m thinking about you.”

“The things you say.”
  Rob gave me a last hungry look before he fell to kissing my neck, nibbling and tasting, hands busy.  This was nothing like private Anja happy time, his touch was far more exciting than anything I could’ve managed on my own, active imagination or not.

Each sensation he wrung from me was crisper and sharper than the
shared dream.  There was an added spice in trying to keep quiet, a particular thrill going through me whenever he swore against my skin or bit back a groan of pleasure.  I did my best to memorize the taste of him, his scent, the crisp hair on his chest that tickled my nose when I kissed lower – I saved it all for those lonely nights when there were too many people around to steal more than a furtive glance.

And then he sank
into me, his movements slow and unhurried, matching the tempo of the music.  There was none of the frenzied fever that marked our last encounter, despite the fact that our time was short.  His hot and demanding mouth branded me as his own and my body locked tight around him, drawing him deeper, finding salvation with every stroke.

When I felt myself trembling on the edge I ignored the call of his blood, whispering words of love for his ears only, relishing the sound of his heart beating fast and strong against me
.  He came in a surge of heat, his hoarse cry of satisfaction sending me tumbling after him. 

We lay panting together for long moments, neither one wanting to move. 
His heat lulled me into a state of drowsy contentment, and I loved the press of his body above mine.  In time the song ended, and began again, and so did we.  We both seemed bent on making a lasting memory to keep us until the next time and we took turns muffling each other’s cries of delight whenever we had the presence of mind to remember.  Still, I was fairly sure Nina drowned out the worst of our slip ups, at least as it would sound to anyone parading around outside.   

I sighed
with perfect bliss once we succumbed to lazy movements, snuggling deeper into his embrace.  “Best birthday present ever,” I declared.

“You ain’t getting sick of this song yet?” he asked, sounding tired, but very content.

“Actually, I don’t think I’ve had a chance to listen to it all the way through, I keep getting distracted.

“Sorry,” he chuckled. 

I laid a kiss to his chest.  “I’m not.”

“I been thinking while you was away.  There might be a way
we can be together, but it’s dangerous.”

I didn’t like the sound of that.  “How dangerous?” I asked, propping my head up on my hand to get a better look at his face. 

“It could end up with one or both of us dead.”

“Is that
one
you or me?”

“Me,” he admitted.

“No good then, I don’t want to risk it.  After what happened earlier tonight I’ve decided I’m going to end things with Jakob – not because of us, but he asked for another chance and I gave it to him.  It didn’t work out, he has to accept that.” 

“Something tells me it won’t be so easy as all that.”

“It’s his own fault.  After how he behaved tonight, he can hardly blame me.  And I made no secret of the fact how pissed off I was that he’d compelled me, so it’s not like it’s coming out of the blue.”  In fact, I took hope in the fact that my standing up to him and demanding to be taken home hadn’t been met with more of his demanding behavior.  Maybe Jakob finally realized he’d crossed the line?  “He was willing to wait before, he might be willing to wait again.”

“And if he’s not?”

“Then he’ll either compel me or kill me,” I said glibly. 

Rob’s brows drew together as he propped his head up higher on the pillow.  “That’s not a chance
I’m
willing to take.”

“I don’t think he’ll really do either of those things.  He says he loves me.  Would you set me free if you thought it would make me truly happy?”

“I would,” he answered without hesitation.

“So that’s what I’ll do.  I will respectfully tell him I don’t return his feelings, and hopefully, he’ll go nurse his bruised feelings on a bikini beach somewhere.”

“What if he compels you to love him?”

It was a very real possibility, but I tried to keep things light.  “Then I give you permission to kidnap me and knock some sense into my head.”

“You won’t want me to if that’s the case.”

“He would
n’t know to compel me to stop loving you, I’d still listen to you.”

“You say that now…”

“Okay then, I’ll write myself a letter, a letter that I’ll give you to give to me, so there are no doubts in my mind you’re telling the absolute truth.”  It was farfetched, but it could work.  Mostly I was banking on the hope that it’d never come to that.  But wasn’t it worth trying for?  Every time I went out with Jakob I was flirting with disaster.  It was only a matter of time until he compelled or seduced me into doing something I’d regret for a lifetime. 

Rob touched my chin, breaking my reverie to draw my attention back to him.  “Are you sure you want to do this?  Whether he leaves or not, we can’t openly be together.”

“Maybe not in public, but we can still be like this here.  This is my sanctuary, and I’ll be damned if I can’t love who I want to in my own home.  We can be discreet, we can make this work.  You can call me miss all you want, and I’ll pretend to be annoyed with the way you chew or pronounce schedule and stuff.”

His lips drew back into a genuine smile.  “You really think we can make a go of it?”

“I do.  And if not… we can cross that bridge when we come to it.  There, I’ve said my peace.  If you still think it’s a bad idea, I won’t bring it up again, but I really think it’s worth a shot.”

Rob lay there in silence, fingers lightly tracing the outlines of my face as the beat of his heart lulled me into a dreamlike state.  When he spoke, his voice was pitched low and gravelly, as if he was afraid of being heard.  “I know I said I didn’t think I’d ever say it to you, but I love you, Anja Evans.  More than I thought a villain like me could ever feel.  Just knowing you feel the same… it gives a man hope where I thought there was none.  If you’re game to risk it, I’ll do the same.  If it comes down to it, we’ll get Bits to safety and your family too.”