He: (Shey) (Modern Classics (Penguin)) (17 page)

Pupe declared with pride, ‘There’s no doubt that our class was the best in the school.’

I replied, ‘That was because your master refused to notice the signs of your mean intelligence, despite clear proof of dimwittedness.’

Pupu-didi tossed her head. ‘Am I to call this an insult or a joke?’

I answered, ‘It’s a joke of the milder sort, as if I were to tweak your hair in passing. It doesn’t declare
casus belli
—none of your “It’s battle today between you and me”.’

Pupe continued, ‘Mastermashai’s methods were of a funny kind. “You must keep your own records,” he used to say. “It’s not my business to check on you.” We used to keep a daily log of our work; we knew the system of marking.’

‘What was the result?’

‘We gave ourselves lower marks, as a matter of fact.’

‘Didn’t you ever cheat him?’

‘If someone else had been marking us, we might have been tempted to cheat. It would have been foolish to cheat oneself, especially since he never checked on us.’

‘And then?’

‘And then, after every three months we’d do our own calculations and find out for ourselves if we had gone up or down.’

‘Was yours an especially high high-school of the Age of Truth?
¹⁰⁸
Wasn’t there anyone who indulged in a little deceit?’

‘Mastermashai remained unperturbed. He would say, “Some people in this world are bound to shirk and cheat, but those responsible for themselves are less likely to do so.” Our punishments were of the same kind, never externally inflicted. One day, during roll call, I lied to save my best friend’s record of attendance. He said to me, “You’ve been dishonest: you must perform a penance.” He didn’t even want to know, later, if I’d performed it.’

‘And did you?’

‘I certainly did.’

‘Meaning, you gave away your powder box to your friend?’

‘I never use powder.’

‘You mean to say that complexion of yours is entirely your own?’

‘Whatever else, at least I haven’t borrowed it from you, as you’ll realize if you try to compare the two.’

‘For shame! If you see a difference in our complexions, you’re finding fault with our entire clan. We’re of the same blood; our complexions can’t ever be dissimilar. Had there been a poet at hand, he would have declared that your colour had sprung from Lord Brahma’s smile.’

‘And yours from his sneer.’

‘This is what’s called anyanyastuti, mutual admiration. Grandfathers have two kinds of smiles—one dental, the other cerebral. It’s the cerebral kind that fell to me—what one calls wit in English.’

‘Dadamashai, you never stop singing your own praises.’

‘That’s my chief virtue. I belong to the band of exceptional men who know themselves.’

‘Your tongue’s wagging again. But no more; please stop now. We were talking about the schoolmaster, now we’ve begun to talk about you.’

‘What’s wrong with that? The subject is congenial, what in English you might call
interesting
.’

‘That subject is always there in front of me. I don’t have to remember it. Rather, it’s difficult to overlook.’

‘All right, let me tell you about a special side of this teacher of ours. It’s worth writing down. Once the master had invited some people home for the evening. To see if he remembered having done so, I went to his house, quite early in the morning. Let me tell you of the conversation he was having with his servant Kanai.

‘Kanai said, “Lobsters are very expensive now, because of Jagaddhatri Puja.
¹⁰⁹
So I’ve bought egg-laden crabs instead.”

‘The schoolmaster asked, slightly worried, “What’ll you do with the crabs?”

‘Kanai replied, “I’ll put them in a curry with gourd, they’ll taste delicious.”

‘I asked, “Master, do you have a special craving for lobsters?”

‘The master answered, “I certainly do.”

‘“Well, in that case, you’ll have to restrain it!”

‘“Why restrain it? The desire’s ready at hand, all I need do is shunt it in the direction of the crabs.”

‘“I see you have to do a good deal of shunting.”

‘The schoolmaster said, “I’ve eaten crab curry many times. I never put my whole mind to it. But now that I’ve seen Kanai’s mouth water, my mind will turn towards the crab at dinnertime, guided by his drooling tongue: it’ll add to the relish. It’s as if he’d underlined the curry in red pencil; it’ll help me to memorize it.”

‘The master asked, “What have you got tied up in that bundle?”

‘“Drumsticks,” said Kanai.

‘The master looked at me and said with pride, “There’s the fun of it. When he went to the market, I was thinking of gourd stems
.
Now that he’s back, I’ve got drumsticks instead. That’s the advantage of never giving orders.”

‘“What if, instead of drumsticks, he’d brought back snake-gourds?” I asked.

‘The master answered, “In that case, I’d have felt a moment’s qualm. You see, the name has an influence on the matter. The name ‘snake-gourd’ isn’t appetizing. But if Kanai had chosen it specially, it would have given me a chance to overcome my instincts. For the first time in my life, I’d have had the chance to think, ‘Why not try it and see?’ Perhaps I’d have discovered that it wasn’t bad after all. My blind prejudice against the vegetable would have been removed, and the limits of my enjoyment extended. That’s how poets, in their works, try to extend our tastes to share their own. Their work is to underline the process of creation.”

‘“Does Kanai have any hand in trying to expand the limits of your taste?”

‘“He certainly does. If it hadn’t been for him, I wouldn’t ever have paid any attention to piring-shaak.
¹¹⁰
The very word would have knocked me over. In this world, freedom from prejudice means widening one’s vision.”

‘“And your Kanai is engaged in that worthy task.”

‘“You’ve got to admit that, brother
.
By adding his desires to mine, my own lose their narrowness. If I’d been living on my own, this could never have happened.”

‘“I understand, but the limits of Kanai’s desires—”

‘“I’ve widened them. He comes from East Bengal, and couldn’t stand the mention of kalai dal.
¹¹¹
Nowadays he’s quite happy to eat it cooked with asafoetida.”

‘Suddenly, at this point, Kanai entered again. He said, “I forgot to tell you that I haven’t brought any curd today. The kaviraj has forbidden curd at night.”

‘Since he didn’t want to repeat himself by saying that the price of curd too had risen, he had had to hatch the tale involving the kaviraj. As consolation, he promised, “I’ll make you some weak tea with a little juice of ginger in it; it’ll be good for you in the cold night.”

‘ “What do you say, Master?” I asked. “Thinking of offering everyone some tea with ginger?”

‘ “How can I answer for everyone? Those who’ll drink it will drink it. It might do them good. As for those who won’t, it won’t do them any harm.”

‘I asked, “According to the teachings of the Chinese philosophers, your household admits no master, does it?”

‘“No.”

‘“Then how can you accept a servant?”

‘“If there’s no master, there obviously can’t be a servant.”

‘“I suppose you’ve mixed up master and servant to create a compound substance?”

‘The schoolmaster smiled. “Oxygen and hydrogen lay aside their incendiary natures and mingle to form water.”

‘I retorted, “Had you married, brother, all your Chinese philosophy would have fled the town. A wife isn’t so ethereal an entity as to exist, yet not to exist. Even though her face might be demurely veiled, her presence would be a very tangible truth. Under her rule, the kingdom would reel at a frown from her eye: you’d be subject to constant buffeting, front and back.”

‘The schoolmaster replied, “In that case, the husband would escape to Dera Ghazi Khan
¹¹²
on a one-way ticket, while his spouse’s wifeliness disappeared down the tracks of the East Bengal Railway as she returned to her father’s home.”

‘The schoolmaster sometimes says funny things, but never laughs.’

‘If you had to make up a story about our teacher, how would you go about it?’ asked Pupu-didi.

‘I’d have to set aside a million years!’

‘That means you’d make up some fantastic tale. But you wouldn’t have to worry about your present-day critics.’

‘No man of letters fears such witnesses. The truth is, my story will need a change of era to come alive. Let me explain why. The basic materials in the creation of the world were stone, iron and other such heavy stuff. The business of moulding these, hammering them into shape, went on for ages. Their hardness remained bare and exposed for many ages. At last, soft earth covered the surface in a carpet of green; as if to protect the dignity of the creator. Then the animals made their appearance; they roamed the earth bearing vast burdens of bones and flesh, wearing heavy suits of armour, and dragging indecently heavy tails. They were spectacular beasts. But these flesh-burdened creatures didn’t meet the Creator’s approval. He began his relentless experiments once again, and kept at it age after age. At last came man, who possessed a mind. The unnecessary tail disappeared, bones and flesh remained only in modest quantities, and the tough hide was softened into skin. No longer were there horns, or hooves, or the fierce power of talons. The four legs were reduced to two. It was understood that the Almighty was plying his tools to refine the Age of Creation more and more. Man is entangled in both the crude and the fine. The struggle between mind and flesh goes on. In fact, the Almighty is shaking his head again: ‘No, this hasn’t turned out right.’ There are signs that this age too will not last long. It will destroy itself through a supreme scientific expedient. A few hundreds of thousands of years will go by. Gradually, the flesh will fall away and the mind will emerge supreme. It is in this age of the perfect mind that your master sits, in a class of bodiless pupils. Just think how his method of teaching was to merge himself in his pupils, spreading one mind over the other as though there were no external hindrances.’

‘Not even that of the material senses?’

‘If that weren’t there, the intelligence would find itself with nothing to do. There’s always a difference between good and bad, stupid and clever. Human character is of many types. There are varieties of thought and singularities of desire. He who can enter these disparate worlds makes a good schoolmaster. Education is now an inner process.’

‘Dadamashai, I can’t remember just where this school is.’

‘The world has three homes—one beneath the ocean, one on land, and one in the sky, with subtle winds and subtler light. This last one is empty at present: it’s reserved for the next era.’

‘In that case, your class is being wafted along on that wind, that light. But what do the students look like?’

‘It’s hard to explain. They certainly have forms, but the forms are unconfined.’

‘Then I suppose they’re made of various-coloured lights.’

‘That’s possible. Didn’t the science master explain to you the other day how, in this very universe, fine particles of light are pretending to take on bodily form, like chameleons? But at that time, light will find expression in its own original, ethereal form. All of you will sit radiating light in class. That day, sellers of Otin Snow
¹¹³
will go bankrupt.’

‘Why should they go bankrupt? They’ll turn into light.’

‘To go bankrupt means to turn into light.’

‘What colour will I be, Dadamashai, when I turn into light?’

‘Golden.’

‘And you?’

‘I’ll be pure radium.’

‘There won’t be any fighting among the lights that day, will there, Dadamashai? Is there likely to be any squabbling over electrons?’

‘You’ve got me worried. We’ll probably need a League of Lights. I can already hear rumours of quarrelling over electrons.’

‘All the better, Dadamashai. You’ll be able to render the martial spirit eloquently in your poem. Oh dear, will there be language, though?’

‘The language of words will simply transform into the language of feeling. You won’t have to memorize any grammar.’

‘What about songs?’

‘Music must conform to colour. It won’t be very easy. The taans will dart to all corners of the sky. The Tansens
¹¹⁴
of the age will light up the horizon with a new aurora borealis.’

‘And what’ll happen to all your free verse?’

‘Electrons of iron and of gold will mingle in them.’

‘The grandmothers of that age will disapprove.’

‘I have a feeling that all the granddaughters of the time will be enthralled.’

‘In that case, I’ll take care to be born your granddaughter in that Age of Light as well. For the present, you’ll have to bear with this bearer of flesh and form. Now I’m off to the cinema.’

‘What’s the film?’

‘
Sita’s Exile
.’

¹⁰⁷
children of Sagar
: The mythical King Sagar had 60,000 sons, who insulted a sage and were burnt to death by the fire of his anger. However, Sagar’s descendant Bhagirath was able to please Shiva and bring Ganga to the earth, whose waters, flowing over the ashes of the men, set them free.

¹⁰⁸
Age of Truth
: Satyayug, the first and best of the four mythical ages.

¹⁰⁹
Jagaddhatri Puja
: the festival of the goddess Jagaddhatri, one of the forms assumed by Durga.

¹¹⁰
piring-shaak
: a kind of edible leaf.

¹¹¹
kalai dal
: a kind of lentil.

¹¹²
Dera Ghazi Khan
: a town and district now in Pakistan, in the very opposite direction to that served by the East Bengal Railway.

¹¹³
Otin Snow
: a face cream popular at the time.

¹¹⁴
Tansen
: a singer of legendary fame, one of the ‘nine jewels’ of the Mughal Emperor Akbar’s court.

NEXT MORNING, PUPE-DIDI BROUGHT ME BREAKFAST AS I HAD ORDERED: chickpeas and molasses in a stone bowl. I’d set about reviving ancient Bengali cuisine in this modern age. Didimani asked, ‘What about tea?’

I answered, ‘No, date palm juice.’