He Kills Me, He Kills Me Not (33 page)

“Don’t bother with a new team. I’ll let her stay here tonight, give her time to pack her things. She can leave at first light for the safe house. Does that work for you, Pierce?”

Pierce nodded. “I’ll drive her there myself. What about Madison?”

Logan flushed. Getting Madison to safety hadn’t even occurred to him with all his worries about Amanda. Some brother he was. “I hadn’t even thought about her,” he admitted.

“I can take her into town with me,” Riley offered.

“So can I.” Pierce aimed an irritated look at Riley.

Logan’s brows rose. “You’re interested in my sister?”

Pierce folded his arms over his chest. “That a problem for you?”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.” He grinned and shoved Pierce. Pierce shoved him back.

Riley looked at them, his eyes darting back and forth. “So I’m not taking her back with me?”

“No,” Logan and Pierce said at the same time.

“Okay, okay.” Riley held his hands up. “If that covers everything, I’ll head back to town. I’m going to be up half the night as it is, filling out reports.”

“I’ll help you tomorrow. I have to fill out one of my own on the shooting,” Logan said.

“I’ll go take Madison off your hands,” Pierce said as he eagerly strode back toward the house.

Logan stayed on the porch until well after Riley drove away. The side of his face was throbbing where he’d had a handful of stitches, and his mood was still too dark to want to go inside.

He was so angry with Amanda he wanted to shake her until her teeth rattled. But at the same time he wanted nothing more than to hold her and assure himself she was okay. She’d come so close to being killed today. If Pierce hadn’t come along when he had and took that shot, she’d be dead. He’d seen the shadow of a man off to his left a split second before Amanda threw herself in the way, a split second too late if Pierce hadn’t been there.

The sound of a door opening had him jerking his head up in time to see Madison and Pierce stepping out onto the deck. Pierce held a suitcase and nodded at Logan before continuing to his car.

Madison stopped in front of him and instead of the lecture he expected for ignoring her all day, she surprised him by wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing him in a bear hug.

He returned the hug and kissed the top of her head. “What was that for?” he asked

“Oh, let me see. You were shot at. You could have been killed today. What do you think?”

“Touché.”

“Of course it would have been nice if you’d bothered to take a few minutes out of your day to say hi.”

“Now this is what I expected.”

She sighed. “I love you, big brother, and I’m glad you didn’t get shot, but if you don’t go in there and fix my new friend’s broken heart, I’m going to shoot you myself.” With that she marched off the deck without a backward glance.

Broken heart? What was she talking about? How had he broken Amanda’s heart?

For the first time since that God-awful moment when he’d almost lost her to a killer’s bullet, his haze of anger began to fade. In its place he started to see the events of the day from Amanda’s perspective.

She’d thrown herself in front of him, willing to give her life for his even though it wasn’t necessary. She knew he wore a vest. So why had she done it? Why had she risked her life?

The only answer he could think of was that she hadn’t thought. She’d simply reacted on instinct. She’d risked her life for his.

And he’d done nothing but glare at her since.

“Ah, hell.”

Chapter Eighteen

W
hen Madison and Pierce walked out the French door and closed it behind them, an overwhelming sense of loneliness crashed down on Amanda.

With Logan ignoring her, there was no reason for her to hang around downstairs, so she headed upstairs and retired to one of the guest rooms. She didn’t think he would seek her out, so she could have stayed in her own room, but the thought of sleeping in that big bed without him was far too depressing.

Instead, she chose one of the smaller rooms with a single bed. It was decorated in warm browns and subtle hues of creamy yellow. Not a rose or any other flower in sight. She loved it. She especially liked that it had a chaise lounge on the far side of the room shoved up beneath a large picture window. It was a cozy reading spot and she intended to make full use of it tonight. Her nerves were so on edge she doubted she’d be able to sleep.

After pulling the shades and drapes closed, she grabbed a blanket off the end of the bed, snuggled into the oversized chaise, and settled down to read.

A few minutes later she heard Logan coming up the stairs. His footsteps echoed down the wooden hallway toward the other end of the house where both of their bedrooms were located.

When he didn’t immediately come down the hall looking for her, she ruthlessly squashed the twinge of disappointment that shot through her, and flipped the page of her novel. It wasn’t like she wanted him to come looking for her. It was just that it would make her feel better to hear him beg her to unlock the door, beg for her forgiveness.

Was it too much to hope for a little groveling? After the day she’d had she felt like she deserved it. Not that she’d open the door even if he did grovel. But it would be nice just the same to hear him whining for her affection through the locked bedroom door. Irritated that she couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything but Logan, she flipped another page.

“You must read really fast. You turned the last page no more than ten seconds ago.”

She jerked around toward the sound of Logan’s voice, stunned to see him standing in a doorway she hadn’t even noticed before, a doorway that apparently adjoined this bedroom with the one next to it.

“Can you forgive me for being such an ass?” he said, even as he leaned down and scooped her into his arms.

“Put me down,” she demanded, as her book tumbled to the floor.

“If you insist.” He turned and plopped lengthwise onto the chaise with her still in his arms. She bounced against his chest and he pulled her even more tightly against him as he straightened his legs out and sat back.

“I didn’t give you permission to come in here,” she said as she struggled against his hold and tried to slide off his lap.

“I didn’t ask.” He gently but forcefully tilted her chin up until she had to look at him. “If you’ll stop squirming I’d like to try to explain why I acted the way I did today.”

The longing in his eyes was so intense she felt an answering longing deep within her. Then she caught sight of the stitches running down the left side of his face near his hairline. Her hand flew up—as if of its own accord—and her fingers shook as she lightly feathered them down the cut that ran from his temple to just past his eye.

He reached out his hand and lightly ran a fingertip down the scar on the side of her face and smiled. “It’s just a scar. It doesn’t matter.”

She knew he was referring to
her
scar instead of
his,
and it was difficult not to let him turn her attention when she was so touched by the way he used every opportunity to remind her he thought she was beautiful.

“It does matter,” she insisted. “You could have been blinded if the cut was a little more to the left, not to mention maimed or killed.”

“But I wasn’t.”

She shook her head in exasperation and pushed back to put more distance between them. She would have jumped up but his arm around her shoulder held her firmly in place on his lap.

“Logan, what would you have done if I wasn’t with you when that man started shooting at you today?”

His jaw tightened and a look of unease flashed in his eyes. “It’s a moot question. If you weren’t with me, I wouldn’t have been in the woods.”

“You would have taken out your gun and gone after him. But you didn’t because you were afraid you would leave me exposed if you stopped to do that. Isn’t that right?”

“I didn’t come in here to argue with you.”

“Oh? Then why did you come in here?”

“To apologize. And to explain why I ignored you all day.”

“You didn’t just ignore me, Logan. You glared daggers at me the few times you actually looked my way.”

His hand curled into a fist where it rested on top of her thigh. “I was angry. No, I was furious. I still am.”

“Why?”

“Why?” His eyes blazed out at her and he looked incredulous. “Someone was shooting at us and you threw yourself in the line of fire.”

She waited for him to continue, but he just glared at her like he’d been doing most of the day. She sighed and tried again. “I understand you being angry about that, but you treated me like a pariah all day. How do you think I felt when everyone around me saw how embarrassed of me you were—”

“I wasn’t embarrassed.”

She threw her hands in the air, then crossed them over her chest. “We’re getting nowhere.”

They sat in silence for several minutes. She did her best to ignore him, not to mention the growing erection beneath her bottom. How could he be thinking about sex at a time like this?

“I’m sorry, Mandy.” He leaned forward and nibbled on her earlobe.

She jerked away and struggled to maintain her anger, in spite of the jolt of desire that one little touch had evoked.

He sighed. “I’m not very good at controlling my anger when it comes to you. That doesn’t excuse it. I know that and I’m sorry my behavior embarrassed you, but if you ever do something like that again, I can’t promise I won’t act like an ass again. I’ll try,” he said, holding up a hand to halt the angry words she was ready to spill. “I can’t promise I won’t do that again but I can promise that I’ll try. Fair enough?”

It was a lousy apology but she knew it came from his heart. She would have preferred a promise that he’d never do something like that again, but he was too honest for that. He knew his limits. She grudgingly nodded her agreement.

He pulled her back to lie against his chest, tucking her head beneath his chin, stroking her hair and massaging her scalp. “I’ve made a promise to you. Can you make one to me?”

“Depends on what it is.”

He chuckled, a deep rumbling sound that tickled her ear where it rested against him.

“Promise me you won’t ever put yourself in danger like that again.”

She shook her head. “I didn’t do it on purpose. I reacted. Just like you can’t promise me you’ll never get that angry with me or shut me out like that, I can’t promise not to try to protect the man I love, even if it means danger to me.”

His fingers stilled where they rested in her hair. She suddenly realized what she’d said, and hoped he hadn’t noticed. She hadn’t intended to be the first to say it.

He cupped the sides of her face, tilting her head up to look at him. “You love me?” he asked, his voice husky and low. His hands shook and his eyes had turned so dark they were almost black. As much as she regretted saying it first, she couldn’t let him think she hadn’t meant it.

She turned her head slightly and kissed his palm. “Yes. I love you.”

He crushed her against himself, covering her mouth with his and thrusting his tongue inside, stroking in and out in a frenzied rhythm that left her clutching his shoulders and drawing up her knees to cuddle him against her.

When her tongue stroked lightly against his and she sucked his tongue, he shivered against her and groaned low in his throat.

Suddenly he twisted and pulled her beneath him, frantically tearing at the fastenings to his pants as he continued to ravage her mouth.

She strained against him, jerking off his tie, struggling with the buttons on his shirt until she gave up and ripped it open. Buttons flew against the wall and onto the floor.

He broke their kiss so he could work her shorts down her hips. She eagerly lifted for him so he could slide them off, even as she struggled to push his own pants down his thick muscular thighs.

She’d never felt so consumed with raw hunger before, not even on that first night they’d made love. She was wild for him. He tugged her tank top and bra over her head and leaned down to delve his tongue into the valley between her breasts, squeezing and molding them with his hands.