Authors: Dorothy L. Sayers
person. I mean, supposing, for example, Weldon and our friend Bright were
both in it, and Bright was scheduled to do the dirty deed at eleven o’clock, for
example, while Weldon established his own alibi, and suppose there was some
hitch in the arrangements so that the murder didn’t come off til two, and
suppose Weldon didn’t know that and was stil sticking to the original time-
table – how about that?’
‘That’s supposing a lot. Bright – or whoever it was – has had plenty of time
to communicate with Weldon. He wouldn’t be such a fool as not to let him
know.’
‘True; I’m not satisfied with that suggestion. It doesn’t seem to fit Bright.’
‘Besides, Bright realy has a cast-iron alibi for two o’clock.’
‘I know. That’s why I suspect him. But what I mean is that Bright is a free
agent. Even if it was too dangerous to meet Weldon he could always have
written or telephoned, and so could Weldon. You haven’t got anybody in jug
who would fit the bil, I suppose? Or any sudden deaths? The only thing I can
think of is that the accomplice may have been in some place where he couldn’t
communicate with anybody – quod, or six foot of elm with brass handles.’
‘Or how about a hospital?’
‘Or, as you say, a hospital.’
‘That’s an idea,’ said Glaisher. ‘We’l look into that, my lord.’
‘It can’t do any harm – though I haven’t much faith in it. I seem to have lost
my faith lately, as the good folks say. Wel, thank Heaven! it’s nearly dinner-
time, and one can always eat. Hulo – ulo – ulo! What’s al the excitement?’
Superintendent Glaisher looked out of the window. There was a noise of
trampling feet.
‘They’re carrying something down to the mortuary. I wonder—’
The door burst open with scant ceremony and Inspector Umpelty surged in,
damp and triumphant.
‘Sorry, sir,’ he said. ‘Good-evening, my lord. We’ve got the body!’
XXI
THE EVIDENCE AT THE INQUEST
‘At the word, “I’m murdered,”
The gaolers of the dead throw back the grave-stone,
Split the deep ocean, and unclose the mountain
To let the buried pass.’
Death’s Jest-Book
Friday, 26 June
The inquest upon the body of Paul Alexis was held on June 26th, to the
undisguised relief and triumph of Inspector Umpelty. For years (it seemed to
him) he had been trying to make an investigation about nothing tangible. But for
Harriet’s photographs, he might, in his more worried moments, have begun to
think that the body was a myth. Now, however, here it definitely was: a real,
solid – or comparatively solid – body. True, it was not quite so informative as
he had hoped. It was not served out to him complete with a ticket, marked in
plain figures: ‘Suicide, with care’, or ‘This Year’s Murder-Model; Body by
Bright’. However, there was the corpse, and that was something gained. To
quote Lord Peter (who seemed to be specialising in the provision of
mnemonics), he might now say:
‘ ’ T would make a man drink himself dead on gin-toddy
To have neither a
corpus delicti
nor body;
But now though by destiny scurvily tricked, I
At least have a corpse – though no
corpus delicti.’
There was some little debate whether the whole matter should be thrashed out
at the inquest or the complicated series of clues and suspicions suppressed and
the inquest adjourned for further inquiries. In the end, however, it was decided
to let matters take their course. Something useful might come out; one never
knew. In any case, the possible suspects must know by this time pretty wel
where they stood. Certain clues – for example, the horseshoe – could, of
course, be kept up the sleeves of the police.
The first witness to give evidence was Inspector Umpelty. He explained
briefly that the body had been found tightly wedged into a deep crevice at the
far end of the Grinders reef, from which it had been recovered with
considerable difficulty by means of dredging-tackle and diving. It had
apparently been washed into that position by the heavy seas of the previous
week. When found, it was considerably distended by internal gases, but had
not floated, being heavily weighted down by the presence of a cash-belt
containing £300 in gold. (Sensation.)
The Inspector produced the belt and the gold (which the jury inspected with
curiosity and awe), and also a passport found on the deceased; this had
recently been visa’d for France. Two other items of interest had also been
discovered in the dead man’s breast-pocket. One was the unmounted
photograph of a very beautiful girl of Russian type, wearing a tiara-shaped
head-dress of pearls. The photograph was signed in a thin, foreign-looking
hand with the name ‘Feodora’. There was no mark of origin on the photograph,
which either had never been mounted, or had been skilfuly detached from its
mount. It was in a fairly good state of preservation, having been kept in one of
the compartments of a handsome leather note-case, which had protected it to
some extent. The note-case contained nothing further but a few currency notes,
some stamps, and the return half of a ticket from Wilvercombe to Darley Halt,
dated 18th June.
The second item was more enigmatical. It was a sheet of quarto paper,
covered with writing, but so stained with blood and sea-water that it was
almost undecipherable. This paper had not been folded in the note-case, but
tucked away behind it. Such writing as could be read was in printed capitals
and in a purplish ink which, though it had run and smeared a good deal, had
stood up reasonably wel to its week’s immersion. A few sentences could be
made out, but they were not of an encouraging nature. There was, for instance,
a passage which began musicaly ‘SOLFA’, but swiftly degenerated into
‘TGMZ DXL LKKZM VXI’ before being lost in a dirty crimson stain. Further
down came ‘AIL AXH NZMLF’, ‘NAGMJU KC KC’ and ‘MULBY MS
SZLKO’, while the concluding words, which might be the signature, were
‘UFHA AKTS’.
The coroner asked Inspector Umpelty whether he could throw any light on
this paper. Umpelty replied that he thought two of the witnesses might be able
to do so, and stepped down to make way for Mrs Lefranc.
The lady of the lodgings, in a great state of nerves, tears and face-powder,
was asked if she had identified the body. She replied that she had been able to
do so by the clothes, the hair, the beard and by a ring which the deceased had
always worn on his left hand.
‘But as for his poor face,’ sobbed Mrs Lefrane, ‘I couldn’t speak to it, not if
I was his own mother, and I’m sure I loved him like a son. It’s al been nibbled
right away by those horrible creatures, and if ever I eat a crab or lobster again,
I hope Heaven wil strike me dead! Many’s the lobster mayonnaise I’ve ate in
the old days, not knowing, and I’m sure it’s no wonder if they give you
nightmare, knowing where they come from, the brutes!’
The court shuddered, and the managers of the Resplendent and the Belevue,
who were present, despatched hasty notes by messenger to the respective
chefs, commanding them on no account whatever to put crab or lobster on the
menu for at least a fortnight.
Mrs Lefranc deposed further that Alexis had been acustomed to receive
letters from foreign parts which took him a long time to read and answer. That
after receiving the last of these on the Tuesday morning he had become strange
and excited in his manner. That on the Wednesday he had paid up al
outstanding bils and burnt a quantity of papers, and that that night he had
kissed her and referred mysteriously to a possible departure in the near future.
That he had gone out on the Thursday morning after making rather a poor
breakfast. He had not packed any clothes and had taken his latch-key as
though he meant to return.
Shown the photograph: she had never seen it before; she had never seen the
original of the portrait; she had never heard Alexis speak of anyone named
Feodora; she knew of no ladies in his life except Leila Garland, with whom he
had broken some time ago, and Mrs Weldon, the lady he was engaged to
marry at the time of his death.
This, naturaly, focused public attention on Mrs Weldon. Henry handed her a
smeling-bottle and said something to her, and she responded by a faint smile.
The next witness was Harriet Vane, who gave a detailed account of the
finding of the body. The coroner examined her particularly in the matter of the
exact position of the body and the condition of the blood. Harriet was a good
witness on these points, her training as a mystery-writer having taught her to
assemble details of this kind coherently.
‘The body was lying with the knees drawn up, as though it had crumpled
together in that position as it fel. The clothes were not disarranged at al. The
left arm was doubled so as to bring the hand and wrist directly beneath the
throat. The right arm and hand hung over the edge of the rock immediately
beneath the head of the corpse. Both hands and both arms, as wel as the front
part of the body were saturated with blood. The blood had colected in a pool
in a holow of the rock just under the throat, and was stil dripping down the
face of the rock when I saw it. I cannot say whether there might not have been
sea-water as wel as blood in the holow. There was no blood on the upper
surface of the rock, or on any part of the body except the front and on the
hands and arms. The appearance presented was as though the throat of the
deceased had been cut while he was bending forward – as, for example, a
person might do over a sink or basin. When I shifted the body the blood flowed
freely and copiously from the severed vessels. I did not observe whether any
splashes of blood had been dried by the sun. I do not think so, because the
pool of blood and the blood beneath the corpse were sheltered from the direct
rays of the sun by the corpse itself. When I lifted the corpse, the blood gushed
out, as I said before, and ran down the rock. It was quite liquid and ran freely.
‘I handled the sleeves and breast of the coat and the gloves which the
deceased was wearing. They were soaked in blood and felt limp and wet. They
were not stiff at al. They were not sticky. They were limp and wet. I have seen
bandages which had been soaked in blood some time previously and am
acquainted with the stiffness and stickiness of clotted blood. The clothes were
not like that at al. They appeared to have been soaked in fresh blood.
‘The body felt warm to the touch. The surface of the rock was hot, as it was
a hot day. I did not move the body, except when I turned it a little over and
lifted the head at first. I am sorry now that I did not attempt to drag it further up
the beach, but I did not think I was strong enough to make a good job of it, and
supposed that I should be able to get help quickly.’
The coroner said he did not think the jury could possibly blame Miss Vane
for not having tried to remove the corpse, and complimented her on the
presence of mind she had shown in taking photographs and carrying out
investigations. The photographs were handed to the jury, and after Harriet had
explained the various difficulties she had encountered before getting into
communication with the police, she was alowed to step down.
The next witness was the police-surgeon, Dr Fenchurch. From his
examination of the photographs and of the body he had formed the opinion that
the throat of the deceased had been completely severed by a single blow with a
sharp-bladed instrument. The lobsters and crabs had eaten away the greater
part of the soft tissues, but the photographs were here of very great value, since
they showed definitely that the throat had been cut at the first attempt, without
any preliminary surface gashing. This was borne out by the condition of the
muscular tissue, which showed no sign of any second cut. Al the great vessels
and muscles of the neck, including the carotid and jugular veins and the glottis,
had been clearly cut through. The wound commenced high up under the left ear,
and proceeded in a downward direction to the right side of the throat,
extending backwards as far as the vertebral column, which had, however, not
been nicked. He concluded that the cut had been made from left to right. This
was characteristic of suicidal throat-cutting by a right-handed person; the same
appearance would, however, be produced by a homicidal cut, provided the
murderer were standing behind his victim at the time.
‘Such a wound would, of course, produce a great effusion of blood?’