Haunted (31 page)

He looked at me seriously and nodded. “Ok, sure. And thanks. I’m so fucking happy for you and Devon.”

It was my turn to blush. “Me, too.”

We went back inside and he stopped behind the bar to grab a sweet tea. Devon looked up from his guitar and smiled at me, giving me a nod to say thanks. I nodded back and felt butterflies in my tummy. He had a serious effect on me just by hitting me with that blue-eyed gaze of his.

The guys took a break to have lunch and we sat around and talked some more. I told them I’d been working on some drawings for them to look at and they were excited. They planned to practice for a few more hours and then Mrs. Boudreaux was coming to fix dinner.

The rest of the day passed quickly. Practice went well. They now had Star’s song, Devon’s song, three Marcus had written, and they had two more rough songs that Jade had come up with and Mage was working on lyrics for another one. The way they were collaborating was amazing. Even though Marcus wore the pants in the family, they all had things to contribute and they were all gifted with words and music.

After another delicious dinner cooked by Marie, whom I pathetically tried to help, we all converged around the table and the pictures. I brought my drawings down and spread them out. They guys oooed and ahhed over them and then we sat down to discuss.

“So I’m completely open to what you guys are thinking. I could show you some of the memorials I’ve done before, but a lot of them are specific to the person.”

“I love the one you did on Daryl’s buddies,” Mage offered.

Two of Daryl’s buddies had come in after losing one of their fellow soldiers to suicide. I incorporated their unit info and symbols into a shield that a soldier was crouched behind so you only saw his helmet and boots behind it. I tattooed them both in the same day, it was a marathon session, and they told me stories about the guy and the things they’d done together. They cried and laughed. Both ended up loving the tattoos. I thought it was one of my better designs and I’d enjoyed hearing their war stories. Daryl’s friends were a rough bunch, but I hadn’t met one I didn’t like.

Marcus was looking at my spin on the weeping angel. “I love this drawing, Jaylene. I could see this as an album cover. What do you guys think?”  

They all got excited and really got into the idea, pointing out the different elements.

“Sure, whatever you think. The drawings will be yours anyway. You can do with it what you want.”

Marcus frowned. “But I’d want you to do the final drawing and have the final say. Obviously we’d pay you for the use as well.”

I shrugged. “Ok, whatever you want. I’m glad you like it.”

He was looking at me like he was making plans and I didn’t like it. I wasn’t interested in becoming their artist in residence. My work was here. Thankfully Star got things back on topic.

“I’d love for us to come up with something that incorporates the tattoo she gave Maggie. Oh! How about an angel kneeling, cradling a fleur de lis in her hands and looking down at it, with wings behind her? Kinda like how you drew on this one with some of the feathers coming off?” Star was up and moving around the table.

“I could definitely do that. What do you guys think?”  

Mage and Jade were nodding.

“I love it, sounds great. Let’s do it.”

Jade wanted another one already?

“Uh, Jade? Your other one isn’t finished healing yet so I’m going to do yours close to the end, all right? You’re going to have to be patient this time.”

He pouted and whined, “Awww! How come? It’s not like it’s going in the same spot!”  

I snickered. He was cute, but I can imagine he would have been a trying kid sometimes. “Sweetheart, your body needs to focus on healing the first one. If I tattoo you again, your resistance might get run down and you might get sick. Not going to do it, you’re going to have to wait.”

He sagged and nodded. “Ok, I guess you’re right. Bummer.”

Marcus gave him a paternal pat on the head. “You’ll be fine, Junior. I promise.”

Jade pushed his hand away and socked him. “Oh, you don’t want to start that, do you?”  

Oh no. “C’mon guys, no fighting. I don’t want blood all over Mrs. Boudreaux’s photo albums.”

They all laughed. Except Devon. I noticed he’d been quiet during the discussion.

I walked over to the seat next to him and sat down. “What do you think, Devon?”  

He tipped back his water bottle to finish it and then gave me a small smile. “I’m sure I’ll love whatever you come up with, chère.” He kissed my cheek and stood up to walk outside.

I noticed the cigarette pack was back in his pocket. He hadn’t smoked for the past couple of days. I figured something must be on his mind, but I was determined to let him have some time to himself. Hopefully he’d talk to me about it later.

I sat around talking with the guys for a while until I felt the yawns coming on.

“Hey guys, I’m going to bed. I’ll see you all in the morning, ok? What do you want for breakfast?”  

They tossed out everything from crepes, which I assured them I couldn’t make, to French toast, which I told them would be the safer bet. I waved them all goodnight and climbed the stairs.

Devon hadn’t come in, and with Sherry gone, his bed was free. I wondered what he would do. I washed up, put on the lone nightgown I owned, and crawled in bed. I’m not sure how long I was asleep when I heard a sound from next door. Devon was playing his guitar. I debated going in to see him. Surely there was no harm in giving him a goodnight kiss.

I found him sitting in a chair with his guitar and paper and pencil next to him on another chair. He was obviously writing and I didn’t want to interrupt. I started to back into the bathroom when he looked up. His eyes crinkled with his very sweet smile. He looked tired.

“Hey, chère. Come here.”

I hesitated by the door. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

He put the guitar aside and waved me over. There was only a lamp on beside him and the shadows it left across his shirtless chest were too much.

I walked slowly toward him, squinting a little in the light, hoping I didn’t look a mess. He reached for me and pulled me onto his lap, smoothing my hair away from my face.

“When I came back in, they said you were already in bed. I didn’t want to wake you so I thought I’d just write for a bit.” He was looking into my eyes, searching for something.

“Are you ok? I was worried when you went outside, but I wanted to give you space.”

He nodded and pulled at his soul patch. This time it concerned me rather than getting me excited. “I’m ok, it was just getting a little heavy and I guess with this tattoo and everything it feels like the end...Of a lot of things.” Oh. Shit. I stayed quiet, afraid for him to go on but desperately needing him to. “I mean getting the tattoo was supposed to be our way of saying goodbye to Maggie and moving on. I guess I’m not sure I’m ready to do that yet.”

“If you aren’t ready, it’s not written anywhere that I have to tattoo you now. We could do it whenever you are ready.”

He smiled gratefully at me. “Thanks. That helps. I was kind of feeling like it was one more thing being pushed on me and I didn’t like the feeling.”

“I’m sorry if I was a part of that. I don’t want to push anything on you.”

There was another layer to that statement that I wasn’t sure he would pick up on.

He turned me to face him and put his hands on my face. “No, Jaylene. You haven’t pushed me into anything I didn’t want to be into. You pushed me to talk a little and I appreciate that. But that’s all. Everything about you, everything we’ve done is because I wanted to.”

I guess he got that deeper layer. I tried a small smile, but I still felt unsure.

He rubbed my lip with his thumb. “What is it?” He asked.

I shrugged. “Is part of that end you mentioned because you’re going back to L.A.?”  

He frowned and looked down at my hands. He took them in his. “Marcus does want us to go back to L.A.”

I swallowed, but the damn lump in my throat wouldn’t go away. I nodded. “You have an album to record. It makes sense. You guys have some fantastic songs.”

He squeezed my hands. “Yeah, but I don’t want to go back to L.A. There’s no fucking reason we have to record there. There are some damn good studios here in New Orleans and I'd just as soon do that then go back there. I don’t want to budge on this and he’s going to have a fight on his hands if he keeps fucking pushing me.”

I could feel his anger. I smoothed his hair back and he closed his eyes for a minute. Then he looked at me, his eyes imploring.

“Jaylene, I’m not going to lie and say I will be here always. I do have to travel and play. But as far as I’m concerned, I’m home and I plan to keep it that way. I want to be with you, dammit!”

I laughed nervously. “Ok, dammit!” The tension fell from his face and he laughed, too.

“Ok. As long as that’s settled, let’s get you back to bed, shall we?” He picked me up and carried me back to my room and placed me on the bed.

“You’re going to hurt yourself carrying me around like that.”

He rolled his eyes. “Are you hiding a cow inside you or something? Some scrap metal? Because you weigh nothing and if I can’t lift you, I better hit the weights more often!”  

I smacked at his arm and he caught my hand in his. He kissed it and knelt down at the side of the bed.

I frowned. “Are you going to join me?”  

He smiled and shook his head. “Not right now. I’ve still got shit running around in my head. Do you mind if I crawl in here later though? I’d sure like to wake up with you.”

I smiled and nodded. “Sounds good. And keep playing, it sounds nice.” My eyelids were already heavy and I snuggled down in the bed.

“For you, the world. Goodnight, beautiful.”

I sighed and was out.

Sometime in the night Devon must have crawled in bed with me because all of a sudden I heard him yelling and he started thrashing around next to me. I grabbed for him and tried to soothe him. Star came flying in the door and found me cradling Devon’s head and rocking him gently. I looked up at him, feeling helpless and he just shrugged.

“It’s not as bad as last time,” he whispered.

I nodded. “Thanks for checking. I think he’s ok now.”

He touched my shoulder. “You’re his angel, Jaylene.”

I smiled weakly and Devon’s arms came around me, crushing me to him. Star snickered and walked out, closing the door gently behind him.

I snuggled closer to Devon, his head was pressed against my chest and he was mumbling in his sleep. “Jaylene, love you Jaylene. Love you.”

I blinked and my heart started pounding. I watched him closely for a long time, memorizing every feature on his beautiful face. Finally, with a smile on my face, I closed my eyes thinking I felt the same.

The next time I woke up it was barely light out and Devon was snoring softly. I tried to extract myself from his grip without waking him, which took some work, but I succeeded. I threw on sweats and his t-shirt over a sports bra.

I crept downstairs, needing prep time to get my French toast cooking. I stole an iPod and some headphones from the weight room so I could cook with some tunes on. I must have had it up too loud because when Star came in and grabbed me around the waist to scare me, I caught him upside the head with my spatula, getting egg batter all in his hair.

“Oh shit, Star! I’m so sorry!”  

He was laughing hysterically as he dunked his head under the faucet to wash it out. “Whoo, that’s a wake up call. Hello!”  

I laughed and he threw the towel at me. “You could have slept in you know.”

He shook his head getting the coffee started. “Nope, you have done this by yourself too many times. Besides, I was STARVING and I could smell the bacon. There's no way I was going to let any of those assholes get to this food first. Mmmmm, delicious,” he said around a piece of piping hot bacon.

“You’re terrible! You can take over the bacon, I don’t want to screw up the French toast.”

We laughed and joked for a bit.

Then he looked at me seriously. “He ok after last night?”  

I nodded solemnly. “I think so. He’s got a lot on his mind and that’s how it comes out I’m afraid. It wasn’t as bad as last time but...”

“What wasn’t as bad as last time,” asked Marcus as he came sauntering in. He actually had on a silk robe over his boxers this morning. Whatever.

“Devon had another nightmare last night,” Star told him.

I turned to Star with a frown and he held up his hands. “Marcus knows. We all know what’s been going on. His mom was worried. She thought he was on drugs or something. We had to reassure her it wasn’t that.”

“Yeah, and what goes on with him is our business, Jaylene.”

I turned to him with an eyebrow raised. “I wasn’t saying it wasn’t your business, Marcus. Only that he might not appreciate being breakfast discussion.”

He moved closer to me, picking up a piece of my hair around his finger. “You know, just because you’re fucking him doesn’t mean you have any say over him.”

My eyes flew open wide and I had to control my urge to slap him. Instead, I slammed down my spatula and clenched my fists at my side. He stepped back, shocked.

“Marcus,” I said in a low voice. “That is the last time I will allow you to disrespect me. If you speak to me again like that I will be terminating my contract. I don’t have to take this shit from you. Star, do you mind finishing the breakfast?”  

He nodded and I marched out of the kitchen and straight to the weight room where I hit the treadmill hard. I heard Star yelling at Marcus in the kitchen so I grabbed the other iPod and jammed the ear buds in. I was pleased to see this one had plenty of pissed off music loaded on it. A minute or so later, Devon came in and put his hands on the treadmill gauges. I didn’t stop running. He motioned for me to pull the ear buds out and I shook my head.

“I need some space, Devon.”

He looked even more pissed and he stormed off. Flustered, I ripped off the headphones and turned off the treadmill. I figured if I didn’t deal with this, those two might go at it.

“How dare you talk to her like that, Marcus! What the fuck is wrong with you?”  

When I entered the bar, Devon was right up in Marcus’ face. Marcus at least had the acumen to look ashamed.

“Look, I just don’t want her thinking she’s got control of you, Devon. She needed to know her place.”

Devon turned and paced away from him. “Her place! ? Her place is wherever the fuck she wants to be. As far as I’m concerned, her place is with me. If anyone is trying to control me, it’s you, you egotistical bastard!”  

Marcus narrowed his eyes at Devon and marched back to stand in his face. “I’m not trying to control you, asshole! But she comes in here acting like she knows what’s best for you! I’ve known you my whole life, D. If anyone knows what’s best, it’s me.”

Devon just shook his head at him and crossed his arms. “Marcus, the only person you know what’s best for is yourself. So stick to what you’re good at. Looking out for number one. Leave my girlfriend out of this or I swear to fucking God you’ll be looking for a new guitar player.”

Marcus just shook his head. “You’d put her before us? Now who’s being selfish?” He turned around and walked upstairs, slamming the bedroom door behind him.

Devon yelled, “FUCK!” and looked like he wanted to hit something until he spun around and saw me. His eyes went wide and he stormed toward me, grabbing my hand and dragging me out back with him. I glanced back and saw the remaining three members of Maggie’s Bones looking at each other like all was lost.

“Devon I’m sorry, he just pissed me off. I should...”

He stopped me by holding out his hand. “Don’t. Don’t ever apologize for him. He’s gone way too far this time. He can bitch all he wants about me, but I’ll be damned if he ever talks to you like that again.”

I took a deep breath. “Look, I’m not apologizing for him. But I told you I didn’t want to make things difficult for you and that’s exactly what’s happened. I’m sorry, Devon. But maybe you guys can work it out if I just go.”

His eyes got darker and his brows furrowed. “No.” His shoulders were tensed and his hands were in fists. He was so angry. I felt helpless to do anything to fix it.

“Devon, please...”

“I said NO! Dammit, Jaylene! I love you! I’m not going to let you leave over this.”

The shock on my face must have registered with him. It gave him pause for a minute, but he was still angry.

“Don’t you realize that’s what this is? I love you! You can’t leave!”  

I stepped forward and put my hands on his chest, but he didn’t move to hold me.

“Devon,” I said in a low voice. “I don’t want to leave you. I just don’t want to make things worse.” He was breathing really hard and I wasn’t sure if my words were getting through to him. I looked up into his eyes, trying to get him to see me. “I love you, too,” my voice came out smaller than I hoped.

His expression changed and his breath caught. His hands gripped my arms hard and he pulled me even closer. “Then don’t go.” His voice cracked and he looked like he might be close to tears.

“Devon,” I pleaded with him.

He squeezed his eyes shut and put his forehead against mine. “Don’t leave me,” he whispered.

I pulled my arms free and wrapped them around him. His followed and he was squeezing me so tight I could barely breathe. But I didn’t want him to let go, he was shaking so bad.

“Baby, I’m not leaving. I won’t leave you.” I whispered to him softly and I leaned back to kiss him.

I felt his tears against his cheeks and I kissed them away. His hair was falling around his face and I brushed it back gently. His blue eyes were so sad and frightened and I hated that I had anything to do with that.

“I’m sorry, baby. Please don’t be sad.” I wanted to take his pain away. I kissed him with all I had.

He kissed me just as hard and we held each other until the shaking stopped. He took a couple of deep breaths. “I couldn’t stand it if you left, especially because of him. I get so tired of him sometimes. Maggie was the only one who kept him in check. Well, her and Uncle Daryl. When they weren’t around he tried to boss us all around. To this very day he believes that if it weren’t for him there’d be no band.” He shook his head. “If he’s not careful,
because
of him there’ll be no band.”

I hated this for him. Bad enough they were having problems as a band, but they were family first and foremost. This had to be killing him.

“Look, we’ll find a way to get you guys through this, ok? Maybe have Daryl come out and talk to you guys? He’s good at this kind of stuff.”

He smirked. “Yeah, if he doesn’t pull Marcus' arms off and beat him with them.”

I laughed at that. I could see him doing that.

“I don’t know. I just need to cool down. I haven’t been that angry since...”

I knew what he was getting at. “Since the night Maggie died, right?”  

He nodded sadly. “I don’t know where it comes from, chère. I really wanted to hit him back there, I did. I hit Richard that night. I’ve never been a violent person. I always talked my way out of fights growing up.”

I snickered and he frowned at me. “I’m sure your size had nothing to do with it.”

He snorted. “I may have been tall, but I was about a buck eighty soaking wet in high school. I was all arms and legs. It wasn’t ‘til I came out to LA. and Maggie refused to let us look like skinny pretty boys that I got any meat on me.”

I looked him over and sighed with exaggeration. “And gods bless her for that.”

He laughed and grabbed my ass, pulling me into him. He kissed me so sweetly and then stared into my eyes for what seemed like days. “Promise me something?”  

I nodded, encouraging him to go on.

“Don’t ever not tell me when something is wrong. When you wouldn’t talk to me back there it about ripped my fucking heart out.”

“I can’t promise you I won’t need my space, Devon. I didn’t know what to say at that moment and I needed time to cool down, too. That doesn’t mean I won’t talk to you about it, but just like I’ll respect your need to take a minute, please respect mine. Sometimes talking to someone when you are fuming is a really bad idea. If you take a minute to calm down before you speak, it’s likely to be less damaging.”

He nodded. “I get it. I’m sorry. I was just afraid you were shutting me out and it hurt.”

Shit. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just didn’t want to make things worse.”

“How much worse could you have made it? He practically called you a whore, that fucking piece of shit!”  

I slapped a hand against his chest. “Now no getting all angry again. He did not call me a whore. And I could have made it worse by flinging hot bacon grease all over him or kicking him in his prized possessions. If I didn’t let loose, then neither can you.”

He pulled me in for another hug. “I really love you, chère. I’m sorry it came out that way, but I meant it.”

I smiled up at him. “Good, ‘cause I love you, too. Now let’s go back in there and figure this mess out.”

When we got back inside Mage, Jade, and Star were sitting at the bar drinking sweet tea.

Star jumped up when he saw me. “Jaylene, I’m so sorry. I wanted to kick his ass, but Devon came flying in the kitchen as soon as he heard me start yelling, so I didn’t get a chance.”

I laughed. “It’s ok. Thanks for trying to defend my honor, but I’m fine.”

Jade looked miserable. “I’m sorry, too, Jaylene. I’m sorry my brother is such a dick. He just feels threatened by you I think. He probably thinks you’re going to take Devon away from us.” He looked down at his hands.

Devon spoke up. “No one’s taking me away from anything. But he’s got to quit acting like this or I’m serious, guys. After this album, if things don’t get better with him, I’m out. I’m going to tell him the same thing, but I wanted you to know.”

They looked at each other and back at him.

Mage said, “Damn, this is some bad shit. Brother, you can’t leave! You belong with us.”

Devon nodded. “I know. I don’t want to but I can’t take his shit anymore. Where the hell is he?” He looked around, looked upstairs and Star cleared his throat.

“He, uh, said he was going out to Daryl’s. He packed a bag and left.”

They were all quiet for a minute.

Devon blew out a breath. “Fine. Maybe this is a good thing. The four of us will work on what we’ve got and tomorrow I’ll go out there and we’ll talk it out.”

The other guys looked hopeful.

“You’ll come back, D? You promise?” Jade looked heartbroken.

Poor guy was torn between his cousin and his brother. Mage put his arm around him and whispered reassuring words to him.

“I promise. I’ll come back. But he and I need to work some stuff out. And as for what he said about Jaylene,” they all looked like they’d been kicked in the gut. He took in a deep breath and continued, “if anyone else has anything to say, they better say it to me and say it now. Because I love her and she’s part of my life now.”

They smiled and Mage said, “Ain’t no one got anything bad to say about her. We love her, too, man. Marcus was just being an asshole. I don’t even think he believes the shit he said.”

Star stood up. “Whether he believes it or not, he was totally out of line, and I agree with Devon. If he continues to be a dick, I’m out, too. Most of the disharmony we’ve had since Maggie died has been because of him and I can’t take it anymore. Especially not the way he’s disrespected women. I have no tolerance for that.”

They all looked lovingly at their friend. This had to be hitting way close to home for him.

“Shoot, maybe we just all need a break. If you’re going to go out to Daryl’s, me and Jade will head out to my grandmama’s place in Treme. I could use some family time and he could sure use some of her good cookin'. He's looking too thin.”

I smiled at them.

Jade looked excited. “Really? Aw man, she makes the best crawfish etouffee!”