Uncapping his water bottle, he guzzled about half while still running. It was a bad idea. He’d known it was a bad idea even before the water hit his stomach. Within seconds, his belly cramped painfully. At least he managed to stop the treadmill and step off before he doubled up, clutching his abdomen. Nausea swamped him, causing small beads of cold sweat to rise on his already dripping body. He sucked in long, slow breaths through his nose even as his throat tightened. Nope. It wasn’t going to work. Hopefully he would make it to the adjoining washroom before he lost all the water he’d just gulped.
He had just about made it, his steps small and measured in hopes he could still calm his stomach, when he heard a familiar voice call his name with concern.
“Nathan? You okay, man?”
The pain in his stomach suddenly increased, and it had nothing to do with running or water or muscle cramps. All the emotions he had been trying to run into the ground came crashing into him and upset his intense concentration. Nathan had one second to look up at the kid he’d been tied up in knots over and puked water all over the cement floor.
A strong pair of arms grabbed him and kept him upright as he heaved again. A warm pair of lips brushed his ear as Jeremy began murmuring to him. “Breathe, babe. Come on, in through your nose, nice and deep. There you go. Just relax, babe, I’ve got you.”
The tender words penetrated Nathan’s distress but did nothing to actually soothe him. He yanked away from Jeremy with such force he stumbled a few steps, forcing him to grip the handle of a stationary bike for stability. He wiped his mouth and stared with disgust at the mess he’d made on the floor. At least it was only water, and lord knew the floor had seen much worse. He made his way over to a stack of towels, grabbing a couple before bending to clean up the floor, managing to avoid eye contact with Jeremy the whole time. He wasn’t sure what to do. He’d just been agonizing on the treadmill about the fact that Jeremy hadn’t spoken to him in days, but now that he faced the man in question, all he could feel was anger. Well, that and embarrassment. How sexy was it to puke in front of your lover?
Jeremy’s sneakers appeared next to him, and then he was crouching next to Nathan, a couple of towels in hand, helping to mop up the mess, and just like that, Nathan felt his anger melt. “Shit, Jer, get away from this. I’ll talk to you in a few minutes once I get everything cleaned up.”
Jeremy snorted and tossed a soiled towel across the room and into the laundry hamper. “Forget it, Nathan. I really need to talk to you, and I don’t want to take the chance that you’ll run off before I’ve said what I need to say.”
Nathan felt his eyes widen so far he wondered if they were going to fall right out. “Pardon me?” he said, arching his brow, all nausea forgotten. “I’m not the one who’s been running.” He was somewhat insulted, but Jeremy’s statement had served to intrigue him so he decided to let it slip.
Jeremy winced but looked him straight in the eye. “I guess I deserved that. I really did just need some space to think about what’s going on with the three of us. The thing is this last couple of weeks has been, hands down, the most miserable of my life. I’d really like to come home and try and figure things out.”
Nathan frowned but accepted a hand up and abruptly headed for the showers. He absolutely loathed the ice baths the trainers tried to force him into and would take a hot shower over them any damn time, sore muscles be damned.
He was eager to get Jeremy home, but he had things to consider. First was how Rachel would feel. She was his first priority, and she needed to be a part of this conversation. There was no way he could make a decision like this without her input. “I have to call Rach first,” he called over the water. “I need to see what she says before I agree to anything.”
He stayed under the spray only long enough wash down and rinse off. He’d perfected the two-minute shower back in his junior days when the crappy arena showers had about three minutes of hot water. If there were any other reason for taking such an abbreviated shower, it was Jeremy’s statement. He grabbed a bottle of mouthwash someone had left behind and swigged a mouthful, swishing it around his mouth thoroughly before spitting it down the drain. It had only been water that he’d puked so there really was no foul taste, but if he was finally going to kiss Jeremy, he wanted to have fresh breath.
Snagging the fresh towel Jeremy held out, Nathan couldn’t help but notice the flash of interest and heat in the other man’s eyes. “I already called her,” Jeremy admitted sheepishly. “She said it was fine with her, but she wouldn’t be home until later because of an event she’s running.”
Nathan nodded and quickly whisked the rough terry over his body before jamming his still wet body into his street clothes. Rachel had been planning this particular charity event for months. It was a ladies-only dinner and silent auction benefitting SickKids Hospital. She had even sweet-talked some of the single guys on the Maple Leafs into auctioning themselves off as dinner dates. He pitied the woman who ended up with Johnston, but it was all for a great cause. There was no way Rachel would have missed this event. Luckily, being married, Nathan had been disqualified as an auction piece. Apparently sleeping with the event planner also disqualified you, if Jeremy’s presence here in the Leafs’ workout room was any indication.
Nathan turned and faced Jeremy, shoving his hands into his pockets to prevent them from fluttering nervously in front of him. “You gonna ride with me or are you gonna take a taxi?”
Rolling his eyes, Jeremy gently shoved Nathan toward the exit. “I’ll ride with you, if that’s okay.”
The drive home was quiet. Neither of them seemed to know what to say. By the time they pulled into the driveway, night had fallen. The porch light provided the only illumination. For some reason, Nathan couldn’t bring himself to get out of the car and move into the house. It was as if letting Jeremy back in the house meant letting him into his heart, and that wasn’t a risk he was willing to take unless he knew exactly where Jeremy stood. “You wanted to say something to me?”
Jeremy’s long fingers picked at a piece of invisible lint on the hem of his jacket. It was obvious he was nervous as hell. Nathan wanted to comfort him, but he waited patiently for whatever Jeremy had to say.
Jeremy took a deep breath and turned to stare out the window. “I had a lot of time to think, Nathan. About a lot of stuff. About how I feel for Rachel. For you…” He continued to pick at those microscopic bits of lint as he paused. He was obviously gathering his courage for some sort of announcement. “I want to come home and be with you and Rachel, if you’ll still have me.”
Nathan stared at his hands, which were still clenched tightly on the steering wheel, and searched his mind carefully. Could he risk it again? He certainly couldn’t take Jeremy abandoning them again when things got hard. He was pretty sure Rachel felt the same way. While she had kept up a brave, cheerful front during the day, he’d often woken to the sound of her soft crying in the middle of the night. He’d been able to do nothing but hold her and whisper in her ear. It wasn’t just about risking his own heart either. He had his wife to think about. He knew exactly what Rachel would say though. She would tell Nathan to drag Jeremy’s ass back into the house and tie him to the bed.
“Listen, if I let you back in, you have to promise to work things out with us when they get hard. No more running. You need to swear you won’t run again because Rachel and I can’t live with the constant fear of you just taking off again. I won’t put Rachel or myself through that again.”
Nathan heard Jeremy gulp and finally looked up from his hands. Jeremy was looking at him, his heart in his eyes.
“I promise, Nathan. No more running. If I need some space, I’ll just hang out in the office for a few hours. ’Kay?”
Nodding absently, Nathan thought about their empty basement. Maybe they could renovate the space so Jeremy could have a place of his own, somewhere he could go to work on his video games in peace or somewhere he could go to be alone.
There was one more thing he needed to know before letting Jeremy back into their lives. Nathan wasn’t sure he would be able to keep his hands off Jeremy for much longer, and he needed to know exactly where he stood with the other man. He thought he had seen a flash of interest, of heat, in Jeremy’s eyes several times when the younger man had been looking at him. It was better to get things out in the open now before risking another meltdown.
“Also,” Nathan said quietly, “I need to know where I stand with you…sexually. You know I’m bisexual. I’ve never hidden it from you. I’ll be honest with you, Jer. I’m attracted to you. I don’t know how much longer I can have you in bed with me and Rachel without making some type of move on you.”
Jeremy surprised the hell out of him when he simply smiled and leaned toward Nathan, laying a tentative kiss against his cheek. “That’s part of what I needed to figure out,” he said, so softly Nathan had to strain to hear him. Jeremy continued, his voice growing stronger as he went along. “I’ve never really been attracted to men before. The fact that I was, am, so attracted to you confused me. It still confuses me, to be honest. All I know is that I want you to touch me the same way you touch Rachel. I decided to just go with it.”
Nathan breathed a sigh of relief, finally letting go of the steering wheel. He hadn’t realized how hard he’d been gripping it until he had to massage the feeling back into his fingers. A pair of callused hands cupped his own and those long fingers that Nathan had always admired took over the massage.
“Let me, babe,” Jeremy whispered.
Nathan let him continue long after the ache in his hands had eased, soaking in the affectionate touch. The vigorous massage slowly turned into something far more intimate, almost seductive. Still, Jeremy’s hands soothed him almost to sleep.
His eyes popped open when Jeremy suddenly closed his lips around Nathan’s index finger and sucked until his cheeks hollowed out, flickering his tongue softly around very tip of his finger. His eyes weren’t the only thing that popped either. His cock was suddenly rock hard and aching. “Let’s go inside,” he croaked, suddenly desperate to be skin-to-skin with Jeremy.
Jeremy released his finger with a wet pop and threw him a crooked grin. “Best thing I’ve heard in weeks,” he said.
Nathan had no idea how they actually got from the car into the house with their clothes still on. Jeremy was already pulling his shirt off and tossing it in the general direction of the stairs before Nathan could even close the front door. Of course he had seen Jeremy without his clothes on before, both in the locker room and in bed, but for some reason, this time seemed different. It was as if he was finally giving himself permission to view Jeremy’s body with the idea of what he wanted to do to it in mind.
Jeremy seemed to have other ideas, however. He attacked Nathan’s mouth, kissing, licking, and nipping aggressively. He forced Nathan’s lips apart and plunged his tongue inside once before latching onto the side of his neck, homing in on the sensitive spot right behind his ear. Nathan shivered at the attention even as he fumbled with the button fly of Jeremy’s jeans. He pushed them down Jeremy’s thighs, leaving him clad only in his tight, white briefs.
He yanked down his own sweats and pushed Jeremy against the wall. He felt the other man’s hands grip his hips and then the puff of air that signaled Jeremy’s surprised gasp. “I’ve never seen you wear a jock before.”
Nathan shrugged and attempted a smile, but he was pretty sure it was closer to a grimace. He was as horny as hell, and he was fast losing control. “My dirty little secret. Rachel loves it.” He ground his cotton-covered cock against Jeremy’s erection, beyond caring about being gentle. The man had driven him to the edge of his endurance, and he was about to find out what happened.
Head falling back against the wall, Jeremy groaned and pushed his pelvis more firmly against Nathan’s. “I can see the appeal,” he panted.
Fuck, now was not the time for talking. Taking one hand from Jeremy’s hips, Nathan grabbed a handful of dark hair and pulled Jeremy’s head to the side, exposing the place where the man’s neck and shoulder met. He bit down lightly, sucking the flesh hard as he pumped his hips violently.
Jeremy’s hands slid around his low back to grip his ass. His fingers were digging in so tightly Nathan was sure there would be bruises in the morning. It only served to drive him closer to the wild abandonment Nathan could feel bubbling just inside him. Jeremy unleashed it fully when he dropped his head farther to the side in a show of total submission and whimpered.
“Faster, Nathan. Please, I need you to make me come.”
God, those words were music to Nathan’s ears. This big, strong man begging for release, totally willing to give all control to him, was like an aphrodisiac for him. Unfortunately, Nathan didn’t think he could hold out long enough to really test Jeremy’s submission. He pounded their cocks together as he raised his head, pleased to see the mark already forming on Jeremy’s neck. It looked like his possessiveness was going to extend to Jeremy.
Jeremy’s sweet little whimpers had morphed into a low, constant moan. Nathan couldn’t take it anymore. If Jeremy didn’t come soon, Nathan would come first, and that was unacceptable. “Come,” he ordered, grinding even harder against Jeremy.
It seemed the order was all the other man was waiting for. Jeremy’s eyes flew open and locked on his. Stiffening, Jeremy let his head fall back against the wall with a thunk and let out a low groan. Nathan had just enough time to feel the scalding jets of Jeremy’s cum soak through both their underwear before his balls pulled up tight and the streams of semen shot up his own cock.
Nathan collapsed against Jeremy, glad the big man could take his weight without being hurt. The two of them were dripping with sweat and other fluids, and he was totally, completely spent.
Jeremy’s shoulders shook as he began to laugh. Nathan rolled his forehead on the wall so he was face to face with him and opened one eye to glare at the other man. “What can you possibly think is so damn funny?” he complained nipping sharply at the mark he’d made on Jeremy’s neck just to show his dominance.