Harold Pinter Plays 2 (3 page)

Pause.

DAVIES.
I used to know a bootmaker in Acton. He was a good mate to me.

Pause.

You know what that bastard monk said to me?

Pause.

How many more Blacks you got around here then?

ASTON.
What?

DAVIES.
You got any more Blacks around here?

ASTON
(
holding
out
the
shoes
).
See if these are any good.

DAVIES.
You know what that bastard monk said to me?
(He
looks
over
to
the
shoes.
)
I think those’d be a bit small.

ASTON.
Would they?

DAVIES.
No, don’t look the right size.

ASTON.
Not bad trim.

DAVIES.
Can’t wear shoes that don’t fit. Nothing worse. I said to this monk, here, I said, look here, mister, he opened the door, big door, he opened it, look here, mister, I said, I come all the way down here, look, I said, I showed him these, I said, you haven’t got a pair of shoes, have you, a pair of shoes, I said, enough to keep me on my way. Look at these, they’re nearly out, I said, they’re no good to me. I heard you got a stock of shoes here. Piss off, he said to me. Now look here, I said, I’m an old man, you can’t talk to me like that, I don’t care who you are. If you don’t piss off, he says, I’ll kick you all the way to the gate. Now look here, I said, now wait a minute, all I’m asking for is a pair of shoes, you don’t want to start taking liberties with me, it’s taken me three days to get here, I said to him, three days without a bite, I’m worth a bite to eat, en I? Get out round the corner to the kitchen, he says, get out round the corner, and when you’ve had your meal, piss off out of it. I went round to this kitchen, see? Meal they give me! A bird, I tell you, a little
bird, a little tiny bird, he could have ate it in under two minutes. Right, they said to me, you’ve had your meal, get off out of it. Meal? I said, what do you think I am, a dog? Nothing better than a dog. What do you think I am, a wild animal? What about them shoes I come all the way here to get I heard you was giving away? I’ve a good mind to report you to your mother superior. One of them, an Irish hooligan, come at me. I cleared out. I took a short cut to Watford and picked up a pair there. Got onto the North Circular, just past Hendon, the sole come off, right where I was walking. Lucky I had my old ones wrapped up, still carrying them, otherwise I’d have been finished, man. So I’ve had to stay with these, you see, they’re gone, they’re no good, all the good’s gone out of them.

ASTON.
Try these.

DAVIES
takes
the
shoes,
takes
off
his
sandals
and
tries
them
on.

DAVIES.
Not a bad pair of shoes.
(
He
trudges
round
the
room.
) They’re strong, all right. Yes. Not a bad shape of shoe. This leather’s hardy, en’t? Very hardy. Some bloke tried to flog me some suede the other day. I wouldn’t wear them. Can’t beat leather, for wear. Suede goes off, it creases, it stains for life in five minutes. You can’t beat leather. Yes. Good shoe this.

ASTON.
Good.

DAVIES
waggles
his
feet.

DAVIES.
Don’t fit though.

ASTON.
Oh?

DAVIES.
No. I got a very broad foot.

ASTON.
Mmnn.

DAVIES.
These are too pointed, you see.

ASTON.
Ah.

DAVIES.
They’d cripple me in a week. I mean these ones I got
on, they’re no good but at least they’re comfortable. Not much cop, but I mean they don’t hurt.
(He
takes
them
off
and
gives
them
back).
Thanks anyway, mister.

ASTON.
I’ll see what I can look out for you.

DAVIES.
Good luck. I can’t go on like this. Can’t get from one place to another. And I’ll have to be moving about, you see, try to get fixed up.

ASTON.
Where you going to go?

DAVIES.
Oh, I got one or two things in mind. I’m waiting for the weather to break.

Pause.

ASTON
(attending
to
the
toaster).
Would … would you like to sleep here?

DAVIES.
Here?

ASTON.
You can sleep here if you like.

DAVIES.
Here? Oh, I don’t know about that.

Pause.

How long for?

ASTON.
Till you … get yourself fixed up.

DAVIES
(
sitting
).
Ay well, that.…

ASTON.
Get yourself sorted out.…

DAVIES.
Oh, I’ll be fixed up … pretty soon now.…

Pause.

Where would I sleep?

ASTON.
Here. The other rooms would … would be no good to you.

DAVIES
(rising,
looking
about).
Here? Where?

ASTON
(rising,
pointing
upstage
right).
There’s a bed behind all that.

DAVIES.
Oh, I see. Well, that’s handy. Well, that’s … I tell you what, I might do that … just till I get myself sorted out. You got enough furniture here.

ASTON.
I picked it up. Just keeping it here for the time being. Thought it might come in handy.

DAVIES.
This gas stove work, do it?

ASTON.
No.

DAVIES.
What do you do for a cup of tea?

ASTON.
Nothing.

DAVIES.
That’s a bit rough. (
DAVIES
observes
the
planks
.)
You building something?

ASTON.
I might build a shed out the back.

DAVIES.
Carpenter, eh? (
He
turns
to
the
lawn-mower.
)
Got a lawn.

ASTON.
Have a look.

ASTON
lifts
the
sack
at
the
window.
They
look
out.

DAVIES.
Looks a bit thick.

ASTON.
Overgrown.

DAVIES.
What’s that, a pond?

ASTON.
Yes.

DAVIES.
What you got, fish?

ASTON.
No. There isn’t anything in there.

Pause.

DAVIES.
Where you going to put your shed?

ASTON
(
turning
)
.
I’ll have to clear the garden first.

DAVIES.
You’d need a tractor, man.

ASTON.
I’ll get it done.

DAVIES.
Carpentry, eh?

ASTON
(
standing
still
)
.
I like … working with my hands.

DAVIES
picks
up
the
statue
of
Buddha.

DAVIES.
What’s this?

ASTON
(taking
and
studying
it).
That’s a Buddha.

DAVIES.
Get on.

ASTON.
Yes. I quite like it. Picked it up in a … in a shop. Looked quite nice to me. Don’t know why. What do you think of these Buddhas?

DAVIES.
Oh, they’re … they’re all right, en’t they?

ASTON.
Yes, I was pleased when I got hold of this one. It’s very well made.

DAVIES
turns
and
peers
under
the
sink.

DAVIES.
This the bed here, is it?

ASTON
(moving
to
the
bed).
We’ll get rid of all that The ladder’ll fit under the bed.
(They
put
the
ladder
under
the
bed.)

DAVIES
(indicating
the
sink).
What about this?

ASTON.
I think that’ll fit in under here as well.

DAVIES.
I’ll give you a hand.
(They
lift
it.)
It’s a ton weight, en’t?

ASTON.
Under here.

DAVIES.
This in use at all, then?

ASTON.
No. I’ll be getting rid of it. Here.

They
place
the
sink
under
the
bed.

There’s a lavatory down the landing. It’s got a sink in there. We can put this stuff over there.

They
begin
to
move
the
coal
bucket,
shopping
trolley,
lawn-
mower
and
sideboard
drawers
to
the
right
wall.

DAVIES
(stopping).
You don’t share it, do you?

ASTON.
What?

DAVIES.
I mean you don’t share the toilet with them Blacks, do you?

ASTON.
They live next door.

DAVIES.
They don’t come in?

ASTON
puts
a
drawer
against
the
wall.

Because, you know … I mean … fair’s fair.…

ASTON
goes
to
the
bed,
blows
dust
and
shakes
a
blanket.

ASTON.
You see a blue case?

DAVIES.
Blue case? Down here. Look. By the carpet.

ASTON
goes
to
the
case,
opens
it,
takes
out
a
sheet
and
pillow
and
puts
them
on
the
bed.

That’s a nice sheet.

ASTON.
The blanket’ll be a bit dusty.

DAVIES.
Don’t you worry about that.

ASTON
stands
upright,
takes
out
his
tobacco
and
begins
to
roll
a
cigarette.
He
goes
to
his
bed
and
sits.

ASTON.
How are you off for money?

DAVIES.
Oh well … now, mister, if you want the truth . . I’m a bit short.

ASTON
takes
some
coins
from
his
pocket,
sorts
them,
and
holds
out
five
shillings.

ASTON.
Here’s a few bob.

DAVIES
(
taking
the
coins
)
.
Thank you, thank you, good luck. I just happen to and myself a bit short. You see, I got nothing for all that week’s work I did last week. That’s the position, that’s what it is.

Pause.

ASTON.
I went into a pub the other day. Ordered a Guinness. They gave it to me in a thick mug. I sat down but I couldn’t drink it. I can’t drink Guinness from a thick mug. I only like it out of a thin glass. I had a few sips but I couldn’t finish it.

ASTON
picks
up
a
screwdriver
and
plug
from
the
bed
and
begins
to
poke
the
plug.

DAVIES
(with
great
feeling).
If only the weather would break! Then I’d be able to get down to Sidcup!

ASTON.
Sidcup?

DAVIES.
The weather’s so blasted bloody awful, how can I get down to Sidcup in these shoes?

ASTON.
Why do you want to get down to Sidcup?

DAVIES.
I got my papers there!

Pause.

ASTON.
Your what?

DAVIES.
I got my papers there!

Pause.

ASTON.
What are they doing at Sidcup?

DAVIES.
A man I know has got them. I left them with him. You see? They prove who I am! I can’t move without them papers. They tell you who I am. You see! I’m stuck without them.