Authors: Debra & Regan Webb & Black
Tags: #Harlequin Intrigue
Chapter Nine
Louisiana bayou
From the elevated porch of Nico's sparse hunting cabin, Addison watched her son and his father build a small campfire. Small enough to avoid notice, she realized, wondering again what he'd found near Mama Leonie's shack. Drew showed Andy how to put the stones in a circle and the best way to stack kindling and wood so it would burn well.
Andy could've learned those same skills from her. She had in fact taken him camping in Northern California, but she recognized the differences. She could give her son the world, meet all his needs, but it wouldn't replace the father-son bond. Other men might step into the void occasionally as role models, but until now, she hadn't realized she'd given up on finding someone as good as Drew.
She put graham crackers and marshmallows on a paper plate and then broke a chocolate bar into pieces, hoping they wouldn't melt before she got them out there. The small tasks helped keep her mind off why she'd come back to the bayou in the first place. Whatever Drew had found, it had to be a coincidence. She respected his precautions, but Craig couldn't possibly have discovered ties that weren't on paper, ties she'd never shared with him.
Her past wasn't something they'd ever talked about. Looking back, she couldn't tell if she'd withheld the details because it felt as if she was betraying Drew's memory or if she just didn't think Craig would find it interesting. What did that say about their relationship? That it hadn't been real, even in the beginning?
She carried the plate piled high with s'mores ingredients out to Drew and Andy, watching her son grin as Drew gave an overblown, in-depth lecture on the importance of finding just the right stick for roasting marshmallows.
Being a mom, she could see things would get messy in a hurry. She set the plate on the next to last step and went back inside for bottles of water and paper towels. It was hard to believe Nico managed to keep this place a secret, but she was grateful. Drew claimed he could protect them, but she wasn't ready to rely solely on him. Craig had fooled her once. She wouldn't let anyone fool her again.
“We found chairs and we got a roasting stick for you, too!” Andy rushed forward. “Drew made it sharp.”
“Thanks for the warning,” she said to her son, avoiding eye contact with Drew.
They took places around the fire in folding metal lawn chairs that had seen better days. She wasn't sure she wanted to ask where they'd been stashed. Andy settled beside her, Drew across from them. She kept the supplies near her, just to make sure Andy didn't overindulge this close to bedtime. A few marshmallows went up in flames, but Drew shared his technique and Andy practiced until he could make them almost as well.
“This is a great summer,” Andy said, his mouth full of his first successful s'more.
She couldn't argue. Indulging in the sweet, melting marshmallow, the gooey chocolate and the crisp graham cracker made her feel almost normal. The sensation was a welcome respite.
“Do you play any sports?” Drew asked her son.
“Soccer.” Andy swiped a hand across his forehead, smearing it with dirt. “Mom says I can't play football yet, but I have friends who play already.” He slid her a look.
She reached over and wiped his forehead before he could protest and squirm out of reach. “It's the coaching style that troubles me,” she explained. Her son was tenderhearted and when she'd overheard the deep voices and tough words at practices, it raised her concerns. “They're in an eight-and-under league. It should be more fun than work.”
Drew shrugged. “Moms worry a lot,” he said in a stage whisper, making Andy giggle.
“What about baseball?”
Andy sighed, gazing longingly at the plate of marshmallows. “I want to try.”
“And you will.” She hadn't forgotten Drew's stories of playing for his high school team in Detroit. More correctly, of his being a star on the high school team. Her plan to surprise Andy with a week at a baseball camp this summer had been ruined when she'd discovered Craig's horrible dealings.
“There's a community league that plays year-round. I thought I'd enroll him just after school resumes.”
“Really?” Andy jumped up and threw his arms around her neck. “That would be awesome.”
“I played baseball,” Drew said.
Andy's arms slid away, his enthusiasm and a barrage of questions carrying him over to sit by Drew.
She listened, balancing a mix of awe and irritation as Drew and her sonâ
their
sonâtalked about baseball. She knew Andy watched ESPN, and in San Francisco there was always plenty of sports news, but she didn't realize he'd absorbed so much. It wasn't as if they made a family habit of catching the local games on television.
While they talked, she wondered if she'd really been as overprotective as Drew implied. He'd been nice about it and it had felt as though he was backing her up more than criticizing, but still.
She watched her enamored son hanging on every word Drew spoke. If they'd had a ball and a couple of gloves, she could see this conversation playing out over a game of catch on a sunny afternoon. The image made her breath catch and she reached for a bite of chocolate, letting it melt on her tongue while she tried to relax. Drew wasn't intruding. Whether Andy knew it or not, this was his dad. Drew wasn't the type of man to force himself where he wasn't wanted. At least, he hadn't been.
Whatever had happened to him after the army thought he'd been killed clearly had changed him. She was only sure of one thing right now. She wouldn't risk Andy's heart before she knew Drew's intentions.
“When the summer adventure is over, I'll take you to a ball game. A professional game.”
“That would be the best!” Andy turned to her. “Can I go?” He spun back to Drew. “Can Mom come with us?”
“Possibly,” she replied with a calm she didn't feel. She didn't need Andy siding with Drew, though the hero worship had obviously set in. “Right now you need to go to bed. It's been a long day.”
Andy's shoulders slumped, but he rallied quickly, knowing that sulking wouldn't help his case. “Okay. We're going exploring tomorrow, right?”
“Count on it,” Drew said. “And you'll need a good night's sleep if you want to keep up with me.”
Andy looked up at her, his eyes brimming with excitement that wasn't entirely fueled by sugar. “Can IâI mean, may I?”
“Of course you may sleep,” she said, deliberately misunderstanding. Grinning, she added, “And yes. You may go exploring with Drew tomorrow.”
Giving in was worth it for the sheer delight shining in Andy's eyes. They walked back into the cabin and she listened as he chattered on and on about riding in the boat with Drew.
“I like him, Mom.”
“Mmm-hmm. I can tell.”
“Do you like him?”
She couldn't lie to his earnest face. “Yes. He's a good friend.”
“Will you come along when we go to the baseball game?”
Would she? Her heart and mind leaped to opposite conclusions. Of course she'd go, she thought, as would any protective mother with an ounce of sense. But her heart imagined how it would be, her son and his dad coming home and telling her all about their guy adventure.
“Mom?”
“We'll see how things go.” It could be weeks or even months before she felt it was safe for Andy to be out in public. “First this adventure, then the next one.”
“Okay. But I really want to go to a ball game with Drew.” Andy wriggled into his sleeping bag on top of the bed. “He knows everything.”
“He's had lots of experiences.”
“Like this adventure is our experience?”
“Pretty much. You need to get some rest now. Which comic should we read?”
“Can Drew read it?”
The innocent request prickled along her skin like a poison ivy rash. She didn't want to share this precious time. She had, in fact, long since given up on the idea of sharing her son. Marriage to Craig would've been a partnership, but they'd had an understanding that she'd have the final say about issues involving Andy. Craig hadn't protested. Drew would make his opinions known even when she didn't want to hear them. “Maybe Drew can read tomorrow night.”
“Okay.”
Addison ignored the heavy dose of disappointment and picked up another issue of Captain America.
“I could read it,” Andy said.
“Sure.” She nudged him over to the other side of the bed, her back propped against the wall and her son tucked against her side.
“I meant by myself.”
She checked her first reaction and forced herself to smile. “How about you read it to me? Then I'll be here to turn out the light when you're done.”
Andy considered, his small fingers tracing the vibrant design on the cover. “Okay.”
She listened and turned pages as needed until Andy's eyelids drooped and his voice faded. Satisfied he'd sleep through until morning, she walked back out to the fire to confront Drew.
He was leaning back in one of the ratty chairs they'd found, his long legs stretched out toward the fire and his fingers laced behind his head. For a moment with the firelight flickering across his features, the years fell away and she was walking toward the man of her dreams. But life hadn't been so kind. To either of them.
“You have to stop that,” she said, halting before she got too close to him.
His eyebrows snapped together as if he'd forgotten where he was, who she was. “Stop what?”
“Stop promising my son things you can't deliver.”
“
Our
son.”
She
knew
it. Knew it would come down to that. It didn't matter that his claim was valid. “It's not my fault you haven't been involved,” she said. He'd left her once in the name of duty, and when he'd had a chance to set things right he'd left her again.
“Cut me some slack,” Drew said, pushing a hand through his hair. “Leaving that day wasn't my choice, Addi. Mad or not, you have to concede that much.”
She didn't feel inclined to concede anything at all. “Let's keep the focus on the here and now, Drew. You can't get his hopes up.”
“Why not?” He spread his hands wide. “It's clear he wants a dad. Good news all around. I
am
his dad. I want to make his every hope come true.”
“And how will you explain where you've been all his life?”
He sat up and shook his head. “We will find a way. Both of us. Together we can tell him so he understands.”
“And so he accepts you.” Why did that scare her so much?
“Is that such a bad thing? I intend to be a part of his life.”
She hated the way her heart skipped at the image that popped into her mind. She could see it so easily, the three of them gathered around a dinner table or chowing down on hot dogs at a baseball game.
“From Detroit? You'll just pop in whenever it's convenient?”
“You know me better than that.”
“I know the old you.”
“I'm the same man.” He sighed. “You could move closer to me. We could...”
She waited, but he didn't finish. “Are you in a good school district?”
“Probably not, but this swamp is hardly the pinnacle of academic power.”
“This isn't a permanent relocation,” she insisted. “Once Craig is back in custody, I'll find the right place to raise our son.”
“If what little I've heard is any indication, you'll need protection. I can give you that.”
She wanted to demand what he'd heard, what he thought he knew about Craig, but the day's events, the entire situation had caught up with her. Pasting a smile on her face, she searched for kind words. “Thank you for letting us stay out here.” Weary, she sat down on the other side of the fading fire. It wasn't far enough away. “I know you want to take us in, that you think Casey can help, but I'm not ready to risk speaking with anyone connected to the government right now.”
“What didn't you tell them?”
She shook her head, thinking of the package she'd sent to Professor Hastings. “It's better if you don't know.”
“I'm not so sure about that.”
“You'll have to trust me, then.”
He snorted. “That's a bit easier if you trust me, too.”
“I did trust you.” Then and now, it seemed, but she had no intention of admitting as much. In her opinion, trust didn't have to mean giving up control of the situation. She wasn't sure Drew shared that opinion.
He came around to sit in the chair beside her. As he leaned close, his scent and heat crowded her. “Is that so?”
She nodded, unable to speak as her gaze drifted to his mouth. She remembered his taste, the way his lips had felt on hers. It was his taste, his expert touch that haunted her dreams and the recurring nightmare that she'd never find anyone else who could spark her passion. Had he changed, had his kiss changed? Or would it be a reprise of the way it had been: an explosion of heat and desire at first contact?
She wasn't sure which outcome scared her more, but she didn't get the chance to find out. Drew leaned back abruptly and tipped his face to the night sky.
“Do you remember the wedding rehearsal?” As soon as the question was out, she wanted to snatch it back, but it was too late. The lid was blown off the proverbial box where she'd locked away her memories of that precious time.
“Of course I do,” he replied, still watching the sky.
“We practiced the kiss.” She couldn't believe how much she wanted to practice it again. Had she lost her mind on some belated sugar overdose?
“The minister looked surprised when I dipped you back.”
“Your dad was worried we'd make it a Hollywood production.” She saw his lips tip in a faint impression of a smile.
“He knew better. He loved you.”
And she'd loved him. Even through her grief-stricken anger that his heart had given up before he'd met his grandson. She remembered feeling as though the army had snatched Drew away and stolen his father as collateral damage.