Authors: Jo Watson
“Kyle is a good guy,” Jackson says. “He really is in love with Abby. If she decides to let him go, he is going to be crushed. He texted me the other night, trying to figure out what he was saying to her that was so wrong. He hates seeing her so sad.”
“She wants him to listen to her so they can make the choice together. I think she will be devastated if their story ends here.” We enter the restaurant that overlooks the beach. Jackson wraps his arm around my shoulder. The giddy feeling I get from his touch quickly comes to a stop when Tina, the bubbly cheerleader, appears as the hostess. Great, just what I need. I wait for Jackson to back off but he doesn’t, keeping his arm around me, even as I try to put some space between us.
When she turns to show us to our table, Jackson whispers in my ear, “No running, Rookie.”
Tina shows us to our table with a toss of the menus and then smirks as she tells us to enjoy our meal. She is pretty intense, considering she and Jackson were never serious. I am about to ask a few questions, but Abby and Kyle are making their way to our table and I wave as they get close. They seem good tonight, with Abby nuzzling up against him and even cracking a few jokes as we talk about the day.
The conversation between Kyle and Jackson makes me laugh; the two men could not be any more different. Kyle is into computer programming while Jackson loves sports and spends as much time as he can outdoors. It doesn’t seem to matter, and Abby and I start a quiet conversation as they fall into a discussion about whether Vegas odds-makers should be replaced by software programs. On the outside we look like two couples in love, sharing a fun night together. On the inside we are four young adults, struggling to find our places in life and with each other.
After dinner, Jackson and Kyle head to the bathroom, leaving Abby and me alone. “We haven’t talked about the whole thing in days, Madeline. It’s as if we’re in denial. I talked to my mom and she gave me the guilt trip about what it would look like if I moved to another state to cohabitate with a boyfriend. I swear she and my grandmother still live in the fifties.” I laugh but totally understand what it feels like.
Kyle makes his way back to the table just as I excuse myself. When I round the corner to the restroom entrance across from the kitchen, I see Jackson leaning on a wall, talking to Tina. My stomach rolls and I quickly duck into the bathroom so that neither of them can see me. I take my time and try to tell myself that it is nothing. The Jackson I love is different with me, but I can still hear Ben and Greg in my head. I hope I am making the right choice but can’t help but to have doubts when the evidence is stacking up.
When I leave the bathroom, Jackson is back at our table. I decide I need to keep my mouth shut and trust him to be the man I want him to be. We pay our bill and say our goodbyes at the door. Jackson and I walk back to my car as the sun begins to set over the water. It is in the last few minutes of daylight that we enter my apartment and make our way to my room. Jackson empties his pockets onto my dresser and goes to the kitchen for a bottle of water.
I lie down on my bed, trying hard to ignore his phone as it buzzes on the dresser—flashing a message from Tina.
Chapter Fourteen
I must have fallen asleep last night before Jackson came back into the room because I wake up under the covers in my clothes. Jackson is in the shower and I lie awake in bed, trying to persuade myself that I am enough for him. I’m not very convincing.
I pretend that everything is okay when he kisses me goodbye on his way out to practice. Before we leave my room, he stops at the jewelry box that belonged to my mother and touches the little dancer on top. “Why doesn’t she dance, Rookie?” He asks me and I shrug my shoulders.
“My aunt says that my mother played her too much.” I trace my finger over her small frame and wonder what song she once danced to. “I wish she would dance for me.”
“Let me take her home and see what I can do.” Jackson traces a line from my forehead to the tip of my nose and then leans in and gives me a kiss. “No promises, but I might be able to fix her.” I nod my head yes, and my heart allows me to hope for a minute that he can fix her and that we are okay. I didn’t read the messages on his phone last night, but I wanted to.
“I will see you tonight, Maddy.” Jackson tucks the jewelry box under his arm and picks up his bag. He gives me one last kiss and then leaves my apartment.
I decide it’s time to check back in with Greg, so I curl up in my bed and make the call. If I had called him yesterday, I would have told him I wanted to be with Jackson. Today, I decide that maybe his prediction is coming true. His phone rings a few times and then his assistant, Emily, picks up.
“Hey Madeline, it’s Emily. Greg can’t get to his phone right now. He’s stepped outside to walk a few of the contractors around the site. Do you want to leave a message?” I shake my head no, but then realize she can’t see me.
“No, Emily. I just thought I would try to catch him. How is he?”
“To be honest, I’m not sure. He seems okay, but he looks tired.” I can hear empathy in her voice and I hope that he will confide in her while he is away from me. I miss our friendship and know he must miss having someone to talk to, also.
“I’ll try to call again soon. Thanks.” We say our goodbyes and I make my way into the shower so that I can start my day. When I get out I see that my phone has a message from Caleb.
Caleb: Hey, Sis. Sorry about lunch the other day. Ben can be intense.
Me: Lunch sucked! Ben passed intense years ago.
Caleb: Meet me for lunch today. No grilling you for state secrets, I promise. ;)
Me: I would love to.
We decide to meet at a little sandwich shop close to campus. He looks more relaxed today, wearing jeans and a T-shirt instead of his suit. His arms engulf me in a hug when I get to his table. We sit down and order our sandwiches.
“I have really missed you, Caleb.”
“I’ve missed you, too, Madeline. Ben is all spun up over this Greg and Jackson thing and has been making everyone’s life hell for days. He is so sure Jackson is wrong for you that he can’t look past what he’s heard and see the big picture.” The waitress brings our drinks and smiles at Caleb. Caleb returns her smile, causing her to blush.
“What is the big picture?” I ask. “Greg is an aspiring business mogul and Jackson is a jock. The big picture is that I don’t have a chance of convincing Ben and Dad that Jackson is worthy.” I twist my straw in my soda and take a deep breath. “I don’t even know if I want to anymore.”
“Trouble in paradise?” Caleb kicks my foot under the table, causing my gaze to meet his again. “Do you even know what you’ve got yourself into, little Sis?” He knows something; I can tell by his tone and the way he’s looking at me.
“What do you mean? I got myself into a messed-up situation. I got myself into a big risk of heartbreak. I got myself into trouble with the family—”
“You got yourself into a relationship with the heir to the Rider Corporation.” Caleb drops the information like a bomb and I feel the blood drain from my face, then rush back with a wave of heat. The Rider Corporation, a direct competitor of my family’s business. No wonder Ben is freaking out. The dinner conversation with Jackson’s mother suddenly makes more sense; I can’t believe I never connected the dots.
Caleb continues, “When Jackson’s father passed away, he left the business to his son, but under the care of the shareholder board until the son turns twenty-five. In four years, Jackson will be the owner and CEO of Rider Corporation.
“Are you sure?” I ask. “Why wouldn’t he have told me?” Caleb chuckles and leans back in the booth.
“I wouldn’t kid you about something like this. We’ve been watching Rider Corporation for years. We know all of the shareholders and board members—we just didn’t know the relation between the company and your Jackson until a few days ago.” I close my eyes and cover my face, leaning both elbows on the table.
“I don’t think he is just
my
Jackson.” It is a whisper but Caleb catches it.
“What do you mean?” He is leaning into the table now, too.
“He’s been talking to another girl. A cheerleader he used to hook up with. Ben might be right—an ass, but a correct one.” Caleb pats my hand until I cross my arms and lean against the back of the booth.
“Madeline, don’t get ahead of yourself. He has girls around him all the time—that just goes with the territory of being a college football player.”
I nod my head but still can’t get the evidence out of my mind.
“I saw him talking to her two separate times, and last night she was texting him.” I feel stupid for admitting that I might have fought for him for nothing.
“Hang on, I need to call the CNN hotline…” Caleb reaches for his phone in jest. “You mean he talked to a
female
and then received a
text
from her? Shit, this is terrible!” I giggle and am grateful for this easy banter between us having been restored.
“Shut up. I’m serious.” I slap his arm just as the waitress brings our sandwiches. Her face drops and I realize she thinks we are together. “He’s my brother.” I say as I grab a fry off the plate.
“Oh, I…it’s not really my business.” Her cheeks turn pink as she tries to serve us quickly and get out of our section.
“Madeline, leave the poor girl alone. Did you see how nervous you just made her?” Caleb reaches for the ketchup and puts some on both of our plates.
I wink and scoop a handful of fries into my mouth, smiling wide so he can see them in my teeth.
He laughs. “Oh my God, Madeline. You are just like Mom.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“She was always messing around like that, trying to make us laugh,” he says wistfully. “I know you don’t remember a lot about her, but you remind me of her all the time. Table manners aside, she would be proud of you.” We finish our lunches and he walks me to my car, giving me one last hug before we go our separate ways. I drive home thinking about what Caleb has told me and what it could mean for my relationship with Jackson.
When I get back to the apartment Kyle is sitting on the couch, waiting for Abby as she gets ready to go out. I sit down and put my feet up on the coffee table next to his. It is quiet for a minute as we watch the sports highlights, but when a commercial begins to play, Kyle nudges my arm.
“I almost forgot: Jackson stopped by before practice and left something in your room for you. I’m supposed to tell you he can’t come over tonight because the team is flying out in the morning and he has to get some sleep. He wanted to see you, but when Abby told him you were with Caleb he didn’t want to interrupt.”
I’m on my feet in seconds, rushing down the hall to my bedroom. The jewelry box is sitting on my bed, along with a very old envelope. There is a note on the box in Jackson’s writing.
Dear Maddy,
It didn’t take much to make her dance. Turns out there was an envelope tucked into a little compartment beneath her and it was blocking the motor that makes her spin. With a little oil and some tender coaxing—she dances again! Her music is “Somewhere my Love.” I can remember my mother listening to that song over and over when I was little. Can’t wait to find out what is in that envelope.
Wish I could spend time with you before I leave but I have to be ready for the flight. I will think of you every minute I am gone and I will see you first thing Wednesday when I get back. Listen to her music, Rookie:
“Till then, my sweet, think of me now and then
Godspeed, my love, till you are mine again!”
—Paul Francis Webster
I love you,
Jackson
I open the box and listen as the music begins to play. I watch in a trance as the dancer twirls around in front of me. I wait for the song to finish, and then close the lid and pick up the envelope. I don’t know who gave it to my mother, but I do know that she must have treasured it dearly.
The glue has long since detached from the closure. I carefully unfold the yellowed piece of lined paper I find inside. I don’t recognize the writing, but look down to the bottom and see that it is signed ‘John’ and is addressed to my mother.
Dearest Isabel,
I miss you. I can’t begin to tell you how much I need you in my life. I love you; I will continue to love you forever.
I know you think I forgot about you and left you for some personal gain. Please believe me when I say that the decisions I have made have all been with your happiness in mind. I should have told you this a long time ago: I met with your father to ask for your hand in marriage, thinking that if we met face to face he would see how much you meant to me. He told me I wasn’t worthy of you and that if I truly loved you, I would let you go so that someone with better prospects could take care of you. Your father told me that I was going to ruin your life if you stayed with me.
The worst mistake of my life was believing him. I may not have money, but I love you more than life itself and never should have let you go. Please forgive me and meet me at the little church on the edge of town where I used to take you. The pastor has said he will marry us. Bring your sister as a witness and I will bring my brother, David. I will be there Sunday evening at five o’clock and will wait for you. If you don’t come, I will know you can’t forgive me.
I love you, Isabel, and I hope that Sunday is the day you will be mine again.
Love,
John
I search the letter for a date and find that it was written about eight months before my parents were married. I want to know if David is my uncle David, the man who was married to my aunt Gwen. It starts to make sense why there would be bad blood between my aunt and my father. I also feel a dread so heavy it forces the air out of my lungs. When given the opportunity, my mother did not choose John, she chose to marry my father. Now I am left with knowing that she would probably want me with a man like Greg after having her heart broken by a man like Jackson. I pick up my phone to call my aunt and ask her what happened, but then I think better of it. What if my mother never told her about this letter?
I need to find Jackson, to tell him I’m sorry and to let him go so that he can move on. With tears streaming down my face I run to my car and drive to his apartment. I know he needs his rest, but I need to tell him why I can’t be with him. I need him to understand that I won’t ever get to discuss things with my mother but it is important that I make decisions based on what I think she would want for me.