For the first time in years I had a new emotion to add to Dr. Helen’s chart: Pride. This, the way the angles in Seth’s face melted, the soft blur of his words, the warm feeling that started in my center and spread out making my fingers and toes tingle. This was pride.
Like an addict, I wanted more. To stand for myself, to feel strong and…necessary.
All my life, I’ve been the one who needed, who couldn’t survive without someone to please. Suddenly, someone needed me. And all he wanted was for me to just be me—fears and faults and flaws and all.
And that’s how we started.
Seth didn’t push me as I tried out my newfound independence. The only thing he refused me was sex. Not because he was playing any kind of game, but because he knew if we were meant to be together we’d need to learn how to create our own unique intimacy. First on an emotional level, then on a physical one.
The exact opposite of every other man I’d ever known. How could I not fall in love with him?
We had our struggles—I’d fall back on old patterns, he’d get frustrated—but still, he took me home to meet his family. And I fell in love all over again.
A big, boisterous clan, they immediately embraced me as one of their own. It was more than overwhelming, and I’d sometimes feel the need to retreat, but they always made space for me, gave me time and breathing room.
For the first time ever, I had a family.
More important, for the first time ever, I wanted to make a family. Because I knew no matter how screwed up I was, Seth would take care of us. Any baby I brought into the world with him would be cared for and loved and tended to and…safe.
That was the dream come true.
Too bad it didn’t quite turn out that way.
Chapter 28
“DAD,” MEGAN SHOUTED
. June’s grip on her shoulder tightened as she leaned all her weight on Megan.
Her father came rushing in from the kitchen. “What’s wrong?”
“I think the baby’s coming,” June said.
He took two steps forward then one step back. “Are you having contractions? When did they start? How far apart?”
June took a few deep breaths and relaxed, releasing Megan. “My back’s been cramping since last night. I thought it was the long car ride.”
“When’s your due date?”
“Not for another three weeks.” She suddenly looked panicked. “That’s too soon, isn’t it? Where’s Seth? I need him.”
Megan squeezed her arm. “It will be okay, June. Just breathe. Think about your beautiful baby.” She hoped that was the right thing to say. Her dad gave her a nod and June took a few deep breaths, seemed to calm a bit. “Do you want to sit? Lie down?”
“Feels worse sitting.” She took a few steps, leaving Megan. “I’m fine now. Maybe it’s a false alarm.”
The puddle of fluid on the floor said otherwise. Megan glanced at her dad. “No need to panic,” he said. “First time mother, labor can last for hours. Lucy was in labor thirteen hours with Megan.”
June’s eyes widened at the thought. Way to go, Dad.
“Let me get a mop, wipe this up,” Megan said.
“Sorry about the trouble,” June said. “I’ll go get cleaned up.” She moved down to the bathroom as Megan joined her father in the kitchen.
“What are we going to do?” she asked.
“Three weeks early. I think we need to get June to a hospital.” No duh—Megan definitely voted for the baby being born in a hospital, not here, anywhere but here. He frowned, staring past her out the window and the storm. “I can’t leave you, but it’s too dangerous to send you for help.”
No way did Megan want to venture out into the storm, everyone depending on her to make it to a phone without getting lost. “I’m not leaving June.”
“What do you know about delivering babies?” he asked. At first she thought he was joking but he was serious.
“We saw a movie in health class. It was pretty gross. And they talked about it in my emergency responder class.” Part of Megan’s preparation for her black belt was taking an advanced first aid class in addition to performing community service and teaching the younger kids at the dojo.
He nodded grimly. “That’s more than me. Plus you can shoot better than I can.”
Shoot? Oh yeah. The bad guys after June. “Like you said, she might not even have the baby tonight.”
“Maybe we should both just stay here. But what if there are complications? We need to consider the odds of that versus the odds that your mother was wrong and someone might have followed her here. She said Walden was coming, but who knows how long he’ll be.”
Megan blinked. He was asking her to weigh in on the decision as if she was an adult. She thought hard, trying to put her fear aside and think about what was best for June and the baby. “You should go. You can move faster than I can, get help up here. Besides, either Walden or Seth will probably get here soon.”
Seth. Where was he? Was he even planning to come back or was he going to try to stop the bad guys all by himself? If so, then they wouldn’t be coming here. That was one good thing.
She grabbed the mop from the laundry room and cleaned up the mess on the living room floor. By the time she’d finished and returned to the kitchen, it was clear her father had made up his mind. He had a pot of water on the stove, scissors and string waiting on the counter nearby. “Just in case.”
“So you’re staying?” She bit her lip as she looked out to the storm. “I can’t go through the woods,” she confessed. “I’ll get lost. I’ll have to take the road and that’s miles longer.”
He gave her a quick hug. “Sweetheart, it’s okay. If it comes to it, I can find my way down the path to the lake. There are phones there at the rec area.”
“You’re leaving me?” She didn’t want that either. She wanted him to stay. Here. Where it was safe. With her.
He looked stricken at the idea. Wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight. “No. Megan. I’m not. I’m just thinking through all the options. But there is no way I’d ever risk you. I know it sounds awful, but you’re
my
baby. You come before anyone else’s.”
Megan clutched at him, wishing she never had to leave his embrace. “Then why was it so easy for Mom to leave? She had the same choice to make as you do.”
“It’s not the same and you know it. To start with, she left you with me. She knew I’d take care of you, no matter what. And she had no idea Seth would take the car and your cell phone.”
Didn’t matter. Mom had still left. And now she and Dad were going to have to do this all alone, deliver a baby.
“I know Mom has to do her job,” Megan, started before he could tell her to stop being a spoiled brat and grow up—heck, that’s what she kept telling herself. But…all the words in the world couldn’t change her feelings. “But sometimes I wish there was someone else who could fight the bad guys.” She looked down at her feet, hating to chance spying her father’s disappointment. “Sometimes I wish she’d choose us.”
Dad folded her into a hug that rocked her onto her toes. “Honey, she does choose us. You know that. Just like I know that you’re very proud of the work she does, the lives she saves. But it’s tough seeing her go, isn’t it?”
She nodded into his chest.
“Can I tell you a secret? It is for me, too.”
They stood still for a long moment, then he held her at arm’s length. “You up for this? Helping June and her baby?”
Excitement pushed her fear away. “Yes, sir.”
He didn’t look convinced, but gave her another quick hug, kissing the top of her head like she was a baby. “I love you. And I’m so very proud of you. You can handle this, I know you can.”
They separated. Dad rubbed his face, deep in thought.
“Do you know where Grams’ keeps her first aid kit?” he asked.
“In the bathroom, under the sink.”
“When June’s done in there, you grab it, set up everything we’ll need. Get the lantern and flashlights out, just in case.” As he spoke, he grabbed the heavy-duty flashlight from the junk drawer and tested it. “I’m going to get more wood for the fire.” He looked around the room, frowning. “Not sure what else we can do.”
“Women have been having babies for millions of years. It’s going to be fine.” She blinked, realizing she sounded just like her mom: confident and in control. If only she actually felt that way inside.
They returned to the living room as June emerged from the bathroom. She’d obviously been crying, her face splotchy and eyes red. “Are you leaving?”
“Just bringing in more wood. Are you doing okay? Do you need anything?”
She held both hands under her belly as if protecting the baby from everything that was going wrong. Took a deep breath. “Okay. It’ll be okay.” She looked to Megan. “Right?”
Why was she looking to Megan for reassurance? And how could she sound so calm? But then she realized, what choice did she have? The baby was coming no matter what, panicking wouldn’t solve anything.
She straightened and glanced at the photo of her grams on the mantle. What would she do if she was in Megan’s position? That was easy.
“How about a nice cup of tea?”
Chapter 29
LUCY TRIED MEGAN
one last time and when she couldn’t make it through, she called Walden. “How far are you from my house?”
“We’re almost there. Got a bit of a late start—”
“Hey, Lucy Mae!” Oshiro’s voice rang out. “No way I was gonna miss this party.”
Of course not. Mr. Superman wouldn’t let a few cracked ribs and a gunshot wound slow him down. And people accused Lucy of pushing herself.
“When you get there, I need to speak to Nick—no one’s picking up when I call. And you need to keep an eye on Seth.”
“Seth? Why?”
No way was she explaining her wildly unsubstantiated theory over the phone. Besides, Walden and Oshiro were friends of Seth; it wasn’t fair to put them in that position until she had facts.
“I need to ask him more about his recent cases. You know what, it’s going to be crowded up there and Taylor wants his car back. Send Nick and Megan back to the city. Less distractions for you two.”
Silence for a moment and she knew he was parsing her words, not understanding what was behind them. But Walden being Walden, he didn’t ask why she wanted Nick and Megan back with her, away from Seth. One of the reasons she loved working with the man. When it came to dissecting theories for a case, he’d gleefully question her every idea, rip them apart with surgical precision. But he’d never question her judgment when it came to her family.
“Will do,” he finally said.
“Thanks. And tell Oshiro to stay out of trouble.”
“You kidding? I’m putting in for hazard pay just hanging out with the guy.”
Lucy hung up, started the Tahoe, and steered it up through the levels of the empty parking garage. Taylor hunched over his computer, oblivious to anything else.
“Hang on,” he said, talking to himself as she left the parking garage and turned down the narrow drive leading back to the street. The rain still pounded steadily but the tall warehouses lining the drive blocked the wind. She turned the wipers up to their highest setting and hit defrost. “Whoa. Hang on. I think my algorithm—” He jerked upright. “What the hell?”
Ahead of them a wall of flames filled the night. A Dumpster had been pushed into the drive and set on fire, Lucy saw between swipes of the wiper blades. Her tactical instincts kicked in and she accelerated.
A layperson would slam on the brakes, try to swerve to turn away from the obstacle. But that meant stopping and becoming vulnerable to an ambush. The best way to handle a barricade like this was the same way her mom had taught her to handle a deer running at a car—basically a modified PIT maneuver. Hit the obstacle at the far corner, using the momentum of your vehicle to pivot it one way while you sped past it in the other direction.
Too slow and the obstacle might spin the entire arc, crashing into the rear of your vehicle. Too fast and you might skid out of control.
Lucy judged the rain slick pavement, the size and weight of the Dumpster, ignored the fire—it was there to trigger primal fear, wouldn’t pose a danger unless the Dumpster tipped over on top of the Tahoe and the fire spilled out—and aimed her driver’s side front bumper at the far right hand corner of the Dumpster. There was a little more room between the Dumpster and the brick wall of the warehouse they were passing on that side. If she hit the Dumpster just right—
The headlights caught a figure standing in the rain just past the Dumpster. A little girl, barefoot and soaking wet, wearing nothing but a pink nightgown, her face reflecting the flames.
Taylor saw her as well. “Lucy, look out!”
The Tahoe hit the Dumpster’s corner as planned—not hard enough to blow the air bags, just hard enough to spin the Dumpster out of their way. Except now she had no room to maneuver around the little girl in the center of the road. Who wasn’t moving. Just stared at Lucy and the SUV rushing toward her, squinting her eyes against the glare of the headlights.
“Move, get out of there!” Taylor shouted to the girl.
Lucy didn’t have time for useless words. She jammed on the brakes, yanked the wheel as hard left as possible, spinning the Tahoe to follow the same trajectory that she’d sent the Dumpster in. Not enough, they were still going too fast. She hauled her bad foot up to hit the emergency brake. The smell of burning rubber filled the vehicle.