Handling Cynthia: A Second Chances Novella (6 page)

"Cyn is so damn beautiful."

"Yeah, she is," Rick said without emotion, as if agreeing that the Eagles might squeak out a winning season.

Eight years of frustration bubbled up from his gut to his chest. "How can you look at her and not regret it? You had her, and you let her go. If it were me…I'd look back and know it was the worst mistake of my life. You won't find another woman like that."

Rick shrugged. "Cyn's the best. That's why I stayed with her so long, even when I knew there was no future in it."

He shook his head. "You didn't deserve her. All this time I believed…" He rubbed the sole of his shoe on the pavement. "But you didn't even love her."

"I was sixteen. What did I know? I thought it was love."

What an idiot he was, letting his loyalty to Rick get in the way. He should have pursued her. Maybe she'd be his now. Instead, his hormones had overwhelmed his judgment, and the first chance he'd had to kiss her, he'd lost control. Lost his only fucking chance with the girl who had reached inside him and filled his heart. No one he'd met since had compared. Not even Emily.

And he'd driven Emily away, too.

His throat tightened, felt sore and raw. Why had he come here tonight? On some level, he'd hoped to make amends. But seeing Cyn again had awakened those old desires, made him want what he could never have.

Or could have had, if he hadn't screwed up. Hadn't let Rick win.

Cyn should have been his.

"I need to get out of this cold." He drew his suit jacket around him. Rick followed him inside.

The warm air hit his face, the vessels constricting painfully at the change in temperature. His eyes blinked in the bright lights.

"What's the rush?" Rick called, but adrenaline pushed his legs forward. He didn't know what he'd say to Cyn, but he was going to settle this thing tonight. Tell her the truth. No more running.

He wasn't the same dumb kid he was five years ago. This time, he would fight for her. Prove he could be the man she needed. The man who'd never let her go.

***

Cyn looked around the ballroom and spotted Jordan. "Have you seen Trent?"

"Rick went after him. You okay?"

"Yeah, I…" Damn it, the whole class must have seen what happened between her and Trent. And they would talk, too. That was the trouble with small towns: everybody knew each other's business. Maybe that's why she'd left for New York as soon as she could. It was easy to be anonymous there. Even celebrities could be anonymous. Here, one misstep would feed the gossip mill for days.

"I overreacted."

Jordan pulled her in for a long hug. That was the great thing about Jordan. He didn't ask questions, just gave love and support when you needed it.

"I've missed your hugs."

"Yours too." He squeezed her hands. "Don't you dare stay away for five years again."

"I've learned my lesson." She scanned the room. "It's kind of nice, seeing everyone again."

"You didn't think it would be?"

She shrugged. "People talk about me."

"You were the most popular girl in school. Of course they talk about you."

"I was not popular!"

His brows drew together, his eyes slanting upward. "Everyone wanted to be friends with you."

"They thought I was stuck up."

"You were shy."

She hugged herself. "Maybe."

Jordan watched her intently, his eyes blue like an autumn sky. "Cyn…maybe some people were jealous of you. Most saw what a sweetheart you are. They genuinely like you."

"Only because of Rick."

He cocked his head. "I think it was the other way around. Rick is kind of a jerk three quarters of the time."

"Are you two fighting?"

"No, we're good." He chuckled. "I understand Rick. You should know that by now. He's basically a big doofus with the looks of a movie star."

"He is!" She squeezed his arm. "He's the biggest doofus I know. And you and I are the only ones who realize it."

"And Kat."

Kat
. Rick's younger sister. She'd been sixteen the last time Cyn had seen her. Kat must be a college senior by now. They'd been so close in high school, yet she'd let that friendship lapse, too.

"What was I thinking?"

Jordan rubbed his hand down her back. "Something wrong?"

"Kat was like a sister to me. We texted for a while my freshman year of college, but she tethered me to Rick. It was too painful. I knew I wasn't in love with him anymore, but he was my mooring. I felt adrift without him."

Jordan nodded, his lips pulled tight. "Yeah."

"I mean, it was good, figuring out who I was without him. Finding myself. But it was like falling out of a boat without a life preserver. Even if you're a good swimmer, it's just you and the ocean. You're all alone, and the ocean is so strong. No one can save you but you."

Jordan huffed, his eyes wide and liquid.

She took his hand, knowing he understood how she felt. He had loved Rick too. Those early days of college must have been hard for him. But he had weathered them better than she had, apparently. He was still close to Rick. She'd had to make a clean break for the sake of her sanity. It would have been too easy to fall back on him for support, even from a distance.

She caught sight of him in the dim light, weaving through the crowd, hugging the women, patting the men on the back. Beside him, Trent looked fierce, such a contrast to Rick's friendly demeanor. A shiver of want ran through her.

Their eyes met and she moved toward him, speeding up as she drew closer. She gripped Trent's hands. "Sorry. I shouldn't have run off like that."

"It's my fault."

"Please don't apologize again. I couldn't take it if you did." The frantic tone in her voice hung in the air. Trent looked at her warily, as if waiting for more. She couldn't do this in front of Rick.

With the silver chain of her little black purse slung over her shoulder, she took Trent's arm and led him onto the dance floor.

***

He followed her through the crowd, the disco ball casting rainbows on the wood flooring. The pounding bass of the hip-hop song gave way to a sweet soprano in the opening bars of "Bleeding Love." She faced him, the corners of her mouth turning upward almost imperceptibly.

He squinted. "We're trying this again?"

"I want your arms around me."

Excitement wove through him, the nerve endings in his fingers springing to life when he touched her. He drew her close, but not so near that she could feel how hard those words had made him.

He breathed the cinnamon scent of her hair. He swallowed the desire to suck her earlobe into his mouth.

"This feels nice," she said. "As if high school were yesterday."

"I need to clear the air about that night. To know we're okay."

"I'm here with you, aren't I?"

He swallowed the golf ball in his throat. What did she mean, she was with him? Because in that soft, husky voice she used, it didn't sound like she meant as friends.

She tilted her head to one side and looked up at him, hair cascading down and brushing her bare shoulder. Her eyes reflected the shimmering light. The beauty of her swept him away, like rushing water breaking through the barriers around his heart.

"The whole time you were with Rick," he said, "I was crazy jealous. Not like I hid it so well. You had to notice."

"Of course I noticed. I felt it, too. The chemistry between us was amazing." She leaned closer. "You remember when Rick first got his license, and he wanted to drive to a campground in the Poconos that night, around hairpin curves in his mom's old Corolla with two hundred thousand miles on it? And I was ready to go along with him, even though I thought it was an insane idea, because I didn't want to disappoint him. You pulled him aside and told him if he wanted to risk his own life, that was fine, but he had a responsibility to me. If I didn't want to do it, he should respect that, and not pressure me."

With her arms resting on his shoulders, she smoothed her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. "I knew right then, your decisiveness was what I needed in a man. Not Rick's impulsiveness. He didn't think things through. He'd get some idea in his head, and he'd be so insistent—but five minutes later, he'd completely forget about it. I mean, once I figured that out, it became easy to distract him. I teased him with kisses like dangling keys in front of a crying baby. You made me realize it was okay to say no."

"Cyn, don't you get it? That night when I kissed you, I didn't give you the
chance
to say no."

"Don't." Her voice choked.

"I'm sorry. If it upsets you to talk about it—"

"Don't apologize. That kiss was the most exciting thing that ever happened to me. You didn't force me. I kissed you back. I kissed you like crazy."

He stared, the tension in his gut unraveling. She hadn't tried to fight him off. That part of his memory was real.

His cock jumped to life.
Fuck
. He wanted to hold her arms behind her back and kiss her in the middle of the dance floor. Instead, all he could do was sway with her, their bodies an innocent distance apart. At least while Rick was watching.

She murmured in Trent's ear, "I want you to take me that way again, to handle me like you did that night. I'm a sexual submissive. I like to be controlled."

He gaped, his eyes growing so big they hurt the sockets. He wasn't imagining this. She was here, in his arms, and she wanted him. The same way he wanted her.

"It's not a pathology or anything," she said, her words hurried. "And if that kiss was any indication, you're at the other end. You're a Dominant. You want to be in control."

He licked his lips, then swallowed and remembered to take a breath. "If you knew the things I fantasize about you…"

A little giggle escaped her lips. "Maybe you can show me later."

His stomach hollowed out. He wanted to ravage her right there, but he held back.

From the purse that hung from her shoulder, she took out a hotel key in a paper sleeve and slid it into the back pocket of his dress pants. Hand cupped around the back of his neck, she drew his ear toward her lips. "My room number is on the sleeve. When I leave, wait ten minutes, then follow me. I brought some toys we can play with."

He stared, feeling like he'd walked into a porno. His cock strained against his fly. The metal bit his flesh.

"I thought you were supposed to be the submissive one."

"Only in the bedroom," she said.

He swallowed hard. "You're sure you want to do this?"

"I've been fantasizing about it for five years. It's the only reason I'm here."

His voice turned gruff. "What do you fantasize about?"

"You," she murmured, leaning into him, "tying me up. Threatening to punish me if I disobey."

Holy hell.
This could
not
be happening. 

He watched her walk away on those stilettos, a sultry sway in her hips. He opened up his phone and started the ten-minute countdown.

Cyn checked her reflection in the full-length mirror in her hotel room. She smiled. Trent would love how she looked in the black lace camisole and thong, her body waiting for his commands.

Her gaze swept the room. The granite countertops in the kitchenette sparkled, and the sleek taupe couch in the sitting area looked tidy with its pale green pillows plumped in the corners. She turned off the overhead light to cast them in shadow.

Padding to the desk lamp, she hung a red scarf over the shade, creating a soft glow. Apprehension flickered through her as she turned down the white damask bedspread. Her fingers smoothed her hair one last time. She lay on her side across the bed, facing the door, elbow resting on the mattress, head propped on her hand.

She waited.

Her stomach fluttered as the moments ticked by. She breathed to calm her excitement. The persistent scent of orange-cinnamon perfume filled her nostrils, and she wondered if she'd used too much. No, that was the nerves talking. Her senses were heightened thanks to the pheromones surging through her body, anticipating Trent's touch.

The lock turned. She swallowed and hid her tension beneath an alluring look. Trent entered, dressed in black jeans and a black button-down shirt, his hair more tousled than before.

A sly grin curved his lips. "Hell, Cyn." His gaze slid from her eyes to her toes and back again. "You look beautiful."

The corners of her mouth pulled upward. "You approve?"

With his forefinger, he motioned for her to approach. She slinked off the bed and ambled toward him, stopping inches away. His eyes darkened. She examined the line of his jaw, the razor stubble on his chin. Breathing was hard, and her head grew light.

He slid his hands down her arms, heating her skin. A shudder rocked her body. She closed her eyes, waiting for what he would do. She imagined his lips on her flesh, remembering that frantic, possessive kiss.

His hands roamed over her hips to the small of her back. He jerked her toward him. Her eyes flew open, taking in his gaze, dark with lust.

A shock of black hair dusted his forehead. He leaned in. His mouth grazed her jaw and trailed kisses to her ear. He sucked the lobe, rolling it in his lips, nibbling it with his teeth. Sparks shot through her body.

She breathed his smooth, musky scent, wanting to taste him, but he seemed intent on teasing her, his mouth at the hollow of her throat raising goosebumps on her flesh. She threw her head back to give him better access. He suckled her neck and slid his tongue down to the cleft of her breasts. She gasped.

He grabbed her ass and ground into her. "I love how you let me lead."

She giggled. It felt good to joke with him, to enjoy him without angst or misgivings. "I've been waiting five years for you to kiss me again."

"You can wait a little longer." He raised his brows and backed away.

He searched the room, opening drawers and peering into the closet. He slid the tie out of her silk bathrobe. "This will do."

She sucked in her breath. Lightening pulsed to her sex. She had fantasized about this so long, but the reality left her dizzy with anticipation. What if she hated it, after all? She wanted Trent, but what if he was more into this than she was?

He hung the belt over her shoulders. "Red looks good on you. Brings out the color of your lips." He leaned in so close she could feel his breath, but the next moment pulled away. She let out a moan.

"Patience." He took her hand and cupped it in both of his. "I used to sit in class and imagine what it would be like to hold this hand. Then at night," he said in her ear, "I used to imagine what it would be like to feel those fingers wrapped around my cock."

Her sex clenched. "I want to make you happy."

"You will. You do." He slid the silk belt along her shoulders. It felt cool on her skin.

"Are you going to tie me up?"

"Haven't decided yet. It's early, and we have so many options." He set the belt on top of the nightstand and kissed her palm. "I never thought anyone could be prettier than you were in high school, but
you
are. You're perfect."

"We've wasted so much time. I've played it over and over in my head…I could have called you the next day, told you how I felt. But it scared me. Not what you did, but that need for you to take what I was afraid to give. I wanted you, and my sense of loyalty to Rick held me back. Just like it did you."

He shook his head. "All these years I thought I'd done something awful, forced myself on my best friend's girl. Even if you weren't his anymore."

"You didn't force me. I had a choice. Tonight, I want you to push my boundaries. I've always been a good girl. You can free me from that. Help me explore the darkness."

He pressed her to the wall and held her wrists against it. His erection pushed into her hip bone. This proof of his arousal increased the tingling between her legs. In a swift motion, he kissed her. Her lips parted instinctively, and his tongue found hers. He tasted of toothpaste and scotch.

He pressed into her, chest covering hers, his strength immobilizing her. He nuzzled her neck, slid his tongue along the spiral of her ear. Every nerve in her body awakened. This was it, her fantasy. Her sex quivered, wanting him naked and inside her while he held her down, keeping her at his mercy.

His hands roamed her body, but she didn't move. Through the lace of her camisole, he caressed her breast with the back of his hand. "I've dreamed of this." His palm brushed her nipple. "You're as perfect as I knew you'd be."

"Trent," she murmured.

He reached around and grabbed her ass. He jerked her against his pelvis. She wriggled against his erection.

He kissed her mouth, running his hands down her arms. "Tell me what you want. I can be gentle, or I can be like you talked about in your fantasy. Your choice."

"Like my fantasy." Her words were barely audible. She didn't realize how nervous she was until she heard it in her own voice.

He grinned. "You want it rough?"

She nodded.

"Say it."

She swallowed. "I want it rough."

"Tell me what you've done before."

She shook her head. "Nothing, really. Just fantasies. I tried to get a guy I dated to spank me, but it was a game to him. No threat of real pain to keep me in line." She grinned.

He grabbed her arm and forced it behind her back. "You won't have to worry about that with me. I'll correct you if you disobey."

She panted, trembling at the change in him. "Yes, sir."

His face stony, he asked, "Safe word?"

"Mustang."

He smiled. "Good choice. Other than your safe word, don't speak unless spoken to. Do as you're told without hesitation, and don't do anything
unless
you're told. Understand?"

Uncertainty gripped her chest, and her mouth grew dry. She forgot how to form words.

His hand went to her throat. She gasped.

"Understand?" he repeated.

She swallowed, the swelling in her throat bobbing against his palm. "Yes, sir."

"Good girl." He let his hand drop. He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "You're mine, Cyn. I'll do with your body as I choose. I promise I won't harm you, but I might hurt you, if that's what you need. I'll also give you pleasure in return. Do you agree to those rules?"

Her heart battered her ribcage.
This is part of the game. You can trust him.
"Yes, sir."

"I'll explore your body, to discover what you like. I need your honest reactions. That doesn't mean I'll stop when you ask, unless you safeword. Some things are an acquired taste, so I may keep pushing you."

She bit her lip. Part of her wanted to run screaming from the room, but the burning in her sex told her she wanted this deeply.

And Trent would never hurt her.

He stroked her cheek. "Use your safe word, and everything stops. Nothing to be afraid of. It's me, Cyn."

She nodded, warmth spreading out from her solar plexus. His eyes were beautiful, like light shining through jade, and the gaze trained on her face didn't waver. The dusting of stubble on his chin gave him a roguish look.

He maneuvered her backward. "Palms flat against the wall, and keep them there. If you move, I'll punish you."

She shuddered, head falling forward as she surrendered to his will.

He sprinkled kisses on her shoulder, then suckled her nipple through the lace of her camisole. The sensation of the rough fabric and his soft tongue evoked a sudden moan. She drew a quick breath, unsure if she was allowed to moan, but when he didn't scold her, she assumed it was okay.

He moved to the other side, lips and tongue drawing the hard nub into his mouth. She gritted her teeth, fighting the urge to grab his hair as pleasure rippled through her. Her needy clit throbbed, begging for attention, but she didn't dare speak. She rubbed her pelvis against him, and he covered her body with his, forcing her against the wall, completely still.

"Did I give you permission to move?"

A chill rushed through her, and she trembled. "No, sir."

He grabbed her wrist and spun her so she faced the wall. He slapped her ass three times in quick succession, the sting awakening her flesh. She whimpered, from arousal rather than pain.

He turned her back around. "If you move again without permission, I'll tie you to the bed. Understand?"

She tried not to smile. It wasn't much of a threat, but she wanted to please him. She backed against the wall and pressed her hands against it. "Yes, sir."

"Good girl."

He sucked one nipple while caressing the other. Tongue gave way to teeth, the gentle nibbling putting her nerve endings on high alert. She groaned, and he pinched the other nipple until she gasped. He clasped her face in his hands and kissed her lips. "I can't wait to use nipple clamps on you."

She swallowed. She was completely not on board with nipple clamps, but that discussion could wait.

With his knee, he parted her legs slightly while kissing the side of her neck. "You're going to be a good girl, aren't you, and hold still for me?"

"Yes, sir."

"I hope so, because if you're very good, I'll let you come." He dropped to his knees, and she gasped.

He nibbled her thigh and the soft flesh in the hollow of her hipbone. "Hell, Cyn, the smell of you. It's indecent, and I love it."

Through her lace thong, he parted her cleft with gentle hands. The tip of his tongue grazed her clit. She gasped and struggled to keep her body from bucking. He had bound her with words instead of rope, and she wanted to honor his trust.

His mouth worked her, lips and tongue and an occasional scrape of teeth. The wisp of fabric between them rubbed at her, sharpening the sensations. At first she didn't think she could come that way, but the insistent workings of his tongue drove her into a frenzy, until she worried she wouldn't be able to stop from coming. He hadn't given her permission.

"Ungh," she groaned, rocking against him, a motion he didn't seem to mind as long as she kept her back and her ass to the wall.

"Want to come, baby?"

"Yes, sir, please."

"Not yet, I'm not done tasting you."

A frustrated cry rose from her throat. He glided his tongue between the folds of her labia and teased her entrance. A steady stream of moans issued from her throat. His incessant ministrations, both tender and firm, had her skimming the edge. 

"If you come without permission, I will paddle your ass."

The promise had the opposite of the desired effect, nearly pushing her over the edge. She panted, focusing all her thoughts on keeping her hands against the wall.

He slid a finger beneath her panties and deep inside her. "So wet, baby. So ready for me." He sucked her clit and fingered her G-spot. "Come for me."

She loosened the tension in her body and came with a gasp. Blinding pulses of pleasure thrummed through her, one after the other. She couldn't quiet her cries, even though any passerby in the hallway was sure to hear.

He kissed his way up her body and nuzzled her neck, arms enveloping her. "I've dreamt of doing that a thousand times."

"Trent," she murmured, leaning into him, legs wavering, heart soaring. Submitting to his control had set her free. With her head nestled against his neck, his large, gentle hands stroking her back, she could never go back to the half-life she had lived before.

***

Trent led Cyn to the bed and sat her on his right knee. He combed his fingers through her sleek, black hair. "You okay?"

"Amaze-balls."

He chuckled. "You're giddy."

"Best orgasm ever." She nibbled his ear.

His cock jerked at the feel of her mouth, aching for release. With Cyn in this acquiescent state, she'd probably go along with most anything he suggested. Yet he wanted to make it good for her, too.

Nothing had ever felt as right as having her under his control, trusting him with her pleasure. With her on his lap, teasing him with gentle kisses, the doubts that had plagued him fell away. The dark impulses that came naturally to him were exactly what she wanted.