Haeven (13 page)

I turned and began to walk away but glanced
back when we were on the opposite side of the pond again. I don’t
know what possessed me to stand there staring at his door but I
felt like I should wait a moment, that somehow I expected him and
sure enough a moment later the door opened. Artur came first then
Herrik directly behind him. They were both smiling and laughing at
something only the two of them could know.

Seeing them in such good spirits made me
smile, too, until Artur noticed me standing there watching and I
fearfully dropped my gaze. I wanted to hurry away but Artur called
to Carah and asked if we would join them for a minute.

“Penny’s waiting for me,” I urged Carah to
decline.

“Nonsense,” I knew she could see how nervous
I was about having to face them.

She spun me around and marched me back the
way we had just come. Herrik said good morning to each of us and
Artur did the same. “Will you come in or would you rather
walk?”

Carah looked at me for an answer.

“Oh, walk I guess.”

Herrik held his arm out to indicate that I
should lead the way. I took us once more towards the opposite side
of the pond. Artur matched his pace to mine and Herrik fell in with
Carah.

“How are you adjusting to the new
apartment?” Artur politely asked.

I kept my eyes on my feet so I wouldn’t have
to look at him. “It’s very beautiful. Thank you,” I answered.

“Herrik may have already asked but is there
anything you need?”

“Oh, no. Nothing at all.”

There was a lull in conversation. I think
Artur may have been waiting for me to say something but I was too
flustered knowing Herrik was just a few short steps behind us to
think of anything whatsoever.

“Have you tried your candleholders?” Artur
seemed to be fishing for topics of conversation.

I blushed scarlet, “I…I…”

Artur chuckled, “You forgot all about them
didn’t you?”

“Yes,” I confessed. I chanced a glance back
at Herrik hoping he wouldn’t be disappointed that I hadn’t
remembered to try his gift. He either hadn’t heard or pretended not
to have. He continued walking and talking quietly with Carah. My
heart stopped for a moment when I caught his eye. He looked
stunning, absolutely, “Radiant,” I thought in the misty morning
light of the garden. I shook my head to clear it. “I will remember
tonight, though, I promise.”

Herrik’s face hinted at a smile, “Artur
tells me that you are going to be studying together.”

“Yes. On Monday.”

“Good,” Herrik said with a touch of humor
and more to Artur than anyone else, “he’s been becoming a bit of a
deadweight around here and it’s time enough he’s had something,” he
paused and I could just discern Herrik’s voice in my head, “other
than to lecture me,” then he finished what he was saying out loud,
“to do!”

“I’ve much and more to do, thank you! And
lecturing you is only a very small part of it!”

Herrik seemed to scoff at the statement.

I had heard his private sentiment and
wondered if I was intended to or if it had been a mistake. I
couldn’t help wondering whether or not it meant that he could hear
me too. “Does he know?” I wondered.

“Well, I won’t keep you in your last few
moments of freedom but I was just about to tell Carah that I would
like her to work with you as well,” we had stopped at a turning
point in the middle of one of the paths.

My face fell. I couldn’t imagine what I
would need to learn from Carah.

“Self-defense,” Herrik answered my confused
expression.

Neither Carah nor I seemed very pleased with
the idea. She started to protest while I shifted nervously and
tried to think of an excuse that would be worthy of keeping me from
the proposed activity. Artur spoke up before either Carah or I
could voice our objections and he was actually the one who spared
us from pleading against it.

“Avery might be a more appropriate choice,”
he said. Herrik looked surprised but Artur went on to explain,
“Emily is small and slight, his style would probably be a better
fit than Carah’s.”

“Yes, perhaps you’re right. Avery then,” he
said decidedly. “Artur, Carah would you give us half a moment?”

“Oh no!” my mind exploded with fear as they
both stepped away.

Herrik was looking at me curiously, “Is
there something wrong Emily?”

“No, not at all,” I stuttered.

“Are you sure?”

“Yep,” I nodded.

He didn’t look convinced but he didn’t push
me to say anything I wasn’t willing to either. “Well, I want you to
know that you are no longer a guest here; you are one of us now and
if there is anything you need I want you to come to me. My door is
always open.”

He looked sincere both in his offer and his
concern but I felt it was only a perfunctory offer and that there
couldn’t be any real merit to it.

“Thank you,” I mumbled certain that he
didn’t want me to and that I would never take him up on it.

Herrik seemed satisfied with my response and
motioned to Artur then turned and slowly walked away. I was more
than ready to head home myself. By then I was a little turned
around and had to ask Carah to point me in the right direction. I
had a lot to think about and I was anxious to be alone so I
quickened my pace. We arrived just as Penny was setting breakfast
out. I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat anything just then.

“I had some cereal before I went out,” I
lied. “Maybe I’ll be hungry again later.”

“Oh,” Penny sighed in dismay. “Are you sure
you can’t eat?”

“I’m sure,” I smiled gingerly and rather
than face any more questioning went straight to my room.

The day past along with another restless
night. I was so exhausted and grief stricken that everything I did
or said became an automatic response, done completely without
thought. Penny prodded me to eat, so I ate what I could. She would
strike up a conversation and my brief replies came with virtually
no additional information. When I woke I would dress in whatever
was handy then I would walk in the garden always towards the pond
and look longingly toward Herrik’s door before continuing on. At
night I closed my eyes and lay awake with all my demons.

When Monday morning came I was filled with a
new dread – spending the day studying with Artur. He sent Avery to
fetch me hours after I had woken and taken my walk with Carah
grudgingly trailing behind me.

When the buzzer rang Penny went to the door
then called to me when she found Avery there and he explained to
her the errand he was on. She reminded Avery that I needed to eat
and asked if he would be able to bring me home for lunch then made
him promise to mention it to Artur for her.

“Of course,” Avery assured her as I said
goodbye.

Avery pointed down the path I was supposed
to take and followed behind me. I felt like I was a criminal being
marched off to be drawn and quartered for some horrific offence I
had unknowingly committed. Avery didn’t talk except to keep me
headed in the right direction and though I asked several questions
received only one or two word answers. Eventually I gave up and by
the time we got to the elevator I remembered that I would be forced
to work with him as well and became thoroughly conscious of how
uncomfortable a teacher he was destined to be.

For a moment I regretted Artur’s
interference and thought that even Carah with her abrasive manners
and tactless way of speaking would have been a better instructor or
at least the lesser of the two evils. That was only for a moment
though. My overall dislike of her quickly beat the idea back and I
sighed to myself with resignation.

Artur’s rooms were on the level just above
Herrik’s so once we were beyond the garden and on the elevator it
was less than a minute before we were at his entryway and ringing
his buzzer. He answered almost immediately and after saying hello
to each of us nodded a dismissal to Avery.

“I’ll let you know when we’re done.”

“Penny wanted me to remind you that she
needs to eat.”

“Yes, yes, of course. If we are not done in
time I will send you for something for her,” and Artur closed the
door without waiting for a response.

“Ah, Emily,” he said and quickly looked me
over.

It was terribly unsettling being there alone
with him and I wasn’t sure what to expect or what was expected of
me. I looked around the room while I waited for some
indication.

“Come,” Artur finally said and laid his hand
on my shoulder to spin me down the hallway towards his study. “You
and I, we have not gotten off to a very good start have we?” There
was nothing I could say that wouldn’t sound like a lie so I didn’t
say anything at all. “I am sorry for the way I have acted towards
you,” he said as we walked. “You have had a great many burdens
already and I had no right to add to them. I didn’t mean to upset
you and I don’t want you to feel like you’ve done anything wrong.
Herrik either for that matter.”

It was very hard for me to hear and I had to
force the swell of tears that were pooling in my eyes back.

“What’s done is done and even though we
don’t yet know the why, I honestly believe that everything happens
for a reason.” He stopped and faced me, “I want us to be friends,
Emily. If there were any way we could put our initial feelings
behind us and start again that is where I would like us to begin;
as friends.”

I nodded nervously and agreed.

Artur took a deep breath and though he
wasn’t completely convinced by my response his expression lost a
good deal of the seriousness it typically carried. He held a chair
for me and I eased myself into it as he took the one across from
me. He looked like he was wondering where he should begin so I just
waited expectantly.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Uh,” it was completely unexpected. “No,” I
wanted to blurt out but even in my distressful state of mind I knew
the correct answer and quickly offered it up, “I guess so.”

“Ah,” he sighed and smiled, “I miss
sleeping.”

“You don’t sleep,” I asked somewhat awed and
intrigued by the idea.

“Well, I rest but not the way you do,” he
chuckled. “I just sort of shut down…my awareness fades, my mind
goes blank and…well, I guess that’s it. Then there’s nothing…no
dreams, no tossing or turning, no waking up to go to the bathroom,”
he laughed.

I tried very hard to imagine what that would
be like. The prospect of not dreaming sounded incredibly enticing
especially considering that even the few bits of sleep I was
managing to snag each night were as terrifying as the waking
nightmares I had been having. I longed to sleep…to sleep soundly
again.

“Is it like that for everyone?” I asked, my
curiosity peaked by the idea of not being able to have dreams.

“Yes, I believe it is. I’ve never heard
anyone say anything any differently.” Then he cocked his head at me
and grinned, “You smell like cinnamon; what did you have for
breakfast?” his eyes widened and he looked anxious to hear my
response.

“Penny made French toast for us. She put
cinnamon and nutmeg in the batter so they were a little spicy and
we had sausage and fruit, too.”

“Oh,” Artur raised his eyes to the heavens.
“That sounds delicious!”

“It was actually pretty good,” I had only
had a handful of bites but Artur’s enthusiasm made me realize that
I might have enjoyed eating more if only I had felt better.

Somehow he had managed to break the ice by
this unexpected conversation and after a few more minutes of small
talk he finally got around to speaking about what he expected to
teach me.

He went to one of the bookshelves and
brought several large texts back with him. Artur laid them in front
of me and sat down. “So, I would like to give you a full
curriculum; math, science, history, English, but there are other
important things for you to learn, too. Are you interested in an
instrument?”

I frowned, “No…not really…”

“Piano then.”

I tried to hide my disappointment.

“No, not piano?”

“It’s OK, I just didn’t think I would have
to…I didn’t know…”

“Don’t worry, it won’t be nearly as bad as
you imagine!” Artur smiled mischievously, “We can cheat a little,”
and I felt him giving me a kind of demonstration in my mind.

I reflexively threw my defenses up before I
realized what he was suggesting.

“We’ll work on that when we trust one
another a bit better.”

“I’m sorry,” I apologized.

“Nope, no need. It’s better to act than to
regret your inactions,” he said conclusively. “Herrik wants you to
work with Avery, too. Would you rather spend the mornings with him
or afternoons?”

It didn’t really matter to me either way, I
was already overwhelmed by everything else Artur was proposing.

“You look terrified. I know it sounds like a
lot but I have a feeling you’re going to surprise yourself with how
much you’re capable of!” Artur insisted. “You’ve had a remarkable
experience and judging from what Herrik has told me you are a
remarkable girl,” I colored at the commendation.

I wasn’t sure if it was really what Artur
believed or if he was just saying it to strengthen the goodwill I
had begun to feel towards him.

We talked a while more, not so much about
what he wanted and expected me to learn but more about myself and
what my life had been like prior to my experiences there. It
completely surprised me when I realized how very easy he was to
talk to and that he seemed genuinely interested in all that I had
to say so I said a great deal more than I ever thought I would. As
lunchtime drew near he remembered Avery’s warning from Penny and
offered to take me back to the garden.

Avery was waiting for us at the main
entryway and before he said goodbye Artur tucked a scrap of paper
in my hand with notes of what he wanted to me to go over in each of
the texts before we met again the following morning.