Authors: Mikey Walsh
Gypsy Boy (20 page)
Then I heard Frankie’s wicked witch laugh. Romaine was right.
I walked through the bar and into the toilet, where I composed myself before making my way back to the table. Adam and Romaine had already returned, but were sitting outside of the intimate circle the girls had formed with the new boys. But Levoy was doing his best to get friendly, and appeared to be succeeding.
‘This is my brother,’ Frankie said.
Davey Nelson took one look, then leaned over to Levoy and the other boys and whispered. The three of them let out a laugh, and the sound of Levoy joining in crushed me. He was an even bigger coward than I was.
The boy interested in Frankie, wanting to impress her, rose from his seat and gave me a heavy handshake.
‘How yer doin, mush. Me name’s Wisdom, this is Davey, and this is Tyrone.’
He turned back to Frankie. I didn’t even bother sitting down.
Romaine tapped Adam on the leg, gave me a nod and the three of us left.
Adam flagged down a taxi. ‘You gonna head home with us, Mikey?’
I wished I could, but I wasn’t about to leave my sister. ‘Na, it’s all right, I’ll see you when we get back.’
I went back inside and sat in silence as Frankie and the other girls lapped up the attention for the next two hours. Finally we made our way back to the camp with the new boys in tow. I realised that Levoy had been right: everything was going to change, and I was furious that these boys could walk in and destroy it all.
When we pulled back into the camp, I jumped out and went straight back to our trailer. I was in no mood to sit in the car park, watching the girls and Levoy humiliate themselves by going cock-eyed over a bunch of apes.
After that night, the new boys became a regular fixture, and they brought other friends with them. Before long Frankie began dating Wisdom, Kayla-Jayne got together with Tyrone and Charlene pulled the leader, Davey.
Most painful of all to Adam and me was that Levoy had chosen to join them too. He stopped coming for me in the evening, and when he saw me, he turned the other way.
In a matter of weeks, our group had shrunk to just Adam, Romaine and me.
One evening Adam came to call.
‘Come on out, Mikey, the three of us can have a laugh. We can ignore all of them. Besides, it’s Romaine’s thirteenth.’
Our mouths dropped open in shock as we reached the Dyna Bowl car park and saw the sea of transit vans and pick-ups.
Inside the bar was a mass gathering of Gypsy youth. Frankie spotted me. ‘Oi, get me a diamond white and black,’ she called.
I asked Adam and Romaine what they wanted and headed for the bar.
Caleb was there. ‘Your lot are certainly packing in these days,’ he said.
‘I know,’ I said with a sigh.
I watched him laughing with the rest of the staff as he poured our drinks. What I wouldn’t give just to be normal. To be able to work in a pub, wear a silly bowling shirt and cap and just serve drinks for the rest of my life.
As I walked over to give Frankie her drink there was a loud ‘wooooo’. I had been spotted chatting to the barman, and to these people that meant something sick or gay. As they laughed and jeered, I picked up my drink and walked away.
Romaine grabbed my arm. ‘Don’t leave, Mikey,’ she pleaded. ‘You’ll only make it worse.’
‘Just sit down here with us,’ said Adam, ‘we’ll stay for a drink and then we’ll go.’
But I couldn’t bear it in there any longer. I walked out of the building and round to the back. After smoking a couple of cigarettes, I headed back to the entrance, hoping
that Adam and Romaine would be waiting for me and we could go home.
that Adam and Romaine would be waiting for me and we could go home.
They weren’t, but others were.
As I got closer I heard Colbert Runt whisper, ‘There he is coming now.’
I knew what was coming. Just like Levoy, Colbert had joined the new boys to take me down for fun.
‘Oi, poofy boy.’ A fat-headed thug stepped out from a group that had gathered in front of the door. I kept my head down and tried stepping around him. He pushed me backwards. ‘You’re Frank Walsh’s boy?’
‘Yes,’ I replied.
‘I bet he punched your mother up something good for popping you out.’
The others cheered as he rushed forward to punch me. But it was clear he had never learned to box; his face was fully exposed. I drew back my fist and punched him as hard as I could on the bridge of his nose. As he fell, face first, to the floor, the others rushed towards me in a stampede. Two boys grabbed hold of my arms, and while the thug got back to his feet and punched my ribs and stomach, Colbert Runt turned his gold rings to the jagged edge, punching me over and over on my forehead face and nose.
Rage ran through me as blood poured from my face.
I could hear Frankie and the girls screaming and the punches kept coming. They had all heard the fight and come outside to see. Then two security men and Caleb pulled me free of the gang and took me inside.
Frankie, Adam and Romaine stood in the doorway as I went by. I asked Adam if he could get them home right away.
‘Will you be all right?’ he asked.
‘I’ll be all right.’
Caleb helped me up to the staff toilet and sat me down. He handed me a damp cloth, then stood quietly, going through a first-aid box, as I swore, shouted and punched at the walls.
I looked into the mirror. There were three gaping cuts on my face; the worst of them right down the bridge of my nose. At the sight of my face my anger turned to panic. My father was going to kill me for getting beaten up.
‘I think I need stitches.’
Caleb began cutting off strips of tape. ‘Have a seat, I’ll have a go at closing them.’
I sat quietly as Caleb dabbed the strips of tape across my face.
‘This is what we really are. Do you still think we’re a good lot, Caleb?’
‘I suppose not,’ he replied. ‘But there’s still one good one I know of, only I can’t get him to come out for a beer with me.’
I laughed. ‘Well, I’m officially hated now, mate, so I don’t think you’ll be seeing much of me any more.’
‘If you’re hated, then they won’t have much to do with your time, will they?’
I explained to Caleb that for me to go out with him and his buddies for a drink would be impossible. ‘We’re not allowed to mix with people who aren’t Gypsies.’
‘Well, don’t tell ’em then.’ He gave a cheeky smile. ‘I’ve just finished work, they’ve all gone, so how about it?’
I took a look in the mirror. He’d done such a good job that I almost looked as if I hadn’t just had the crap beaten
out of me twenty minutes before. If there was ever to be a chance for me to see him, then this was it.
out of me twenty minutes before. If there was ever to be a chance for me to see him, then this was it.
‘OK then.’
He checked that the coast was clear as we walked out to his car: a little orange Micra that looked like a little rusted pumpkin.
As we drove, my stomach did somersaults. I began laughing. I couldn’t believe what I was doing; I was sitting in a Gorgia car with a Gorgia man, who was taking me to the Gorgia pub for a drink.
He took me to a typical little English pub, with low wooden beams and copper pots hanging on the walls. It was well away from the Dyna Bowl, and had lots of dark corners where I could sit without feeling self-conscious about my wounds.
Caleb got us drinks and began asking me about my life. From there the conversation just flowed. It was wonderful to be able to talk about something other than money, fighting and girls.
When I had finished, Caleb told me about his school, his college and his brief Navy life, as well as his friends, his girlfriends and his family. He was the first genuinely happy person I had ever met. All that mattered were his family, his friends and enjoying his life.
When it came to my turn I couldn’t stop talking. I had never felt so free to talk about myself. I told him things I had never told anyone before: about my father, the fighting, and the rules of Gypsy life.
I left three things out: Joseph, being gay, and my real age. I didn’t know him well enough to trust him with any of those secrets.
When last orders were called I knew I would have to face going back and showing myself to my father. Caleb drove me back, and I asked him to pull into the park next door to our camp, in case we were seen. The place next door was a council-owned trailer park for permanent residents, all of them elderly Gorgias.
He turned off the engine and we pushed back our seats and talked in the dark.
He told me about his favourite music, his love of motorbikes and how he one day hoped to get promoted to manager of the whole Dyna Bowl.
‘I’m going out with some mates tomorrow if you wanna come,’ he said.
They were going to a nightclub. I had never been to one before.
‘Do you think your friends would mind?’
‘No. I think they’d really like you.’
I smiled at the idea that anyone might actually like me. I wanted to go, but did I dare? I could risk it. My parents would just assume I was out with the group.
‘All right.’
Caleb smiled. ‘Shall I pick you up here, then?’
‘Yes. That would be great. Can you make it nine?’ I knew that by that time Levoy, Frankie and the gang, plus my father, would have left the camp.
‘Fine,’ he said.
I stood, waiting until his car was out of sight, before I started walking back.
Caleb’s Plan
I walked back to the camp thinking about Caleb and how much I had enjoyed just being with him. I couldn’t wait for the next evening. I would be taking an even bigger risk, but it was worth it. Then I turned a corner – and saw the orange glow of a cigarette. My father was waiting for me. But a filthy look, a dictionary of hateful words and a good kick up the arse barely touched me. I dusted myself off, climbed into the trailer, got undressed and fell into my bunk. I pulled the curtain across and stared up through the open skylight. The stars made me think of Kenny and where he was now. Something important had happened this evening. I had seen a chink of light in the darkness and I was determined not to lose sight of it.
The next evening, once Frankie and the others had gone out and my father was in the pub, I slipped away to meet Caleb. He took me to meet his friends – two girls who also worked at the Dyna Bowl, and a boy who was an old schoolfriend of his. They welcomed me, and I had a really good time. No pressure to fight, or boast, or chase girls, just a friendly evening full of laughter and chatter. I was astounded by the way boys and girls could be friends without any kind of romantic pressure. And how both girls and boys could talk openly about sex.
Over the next few weeks I managed to sneak out to meet
Caleb nearly every night. Sometimes we met with his friends, other times it was just the two of us. It was surprisingly easy to slip out of the camp. By this time, few of the others my age wanted to hang around with me; I was social poison to the boys and a lost cause to the girls. Only Adam and Romaine still offered to go out with me, but I told them I didn’t feel like going anywhere. And then, a few weeks later, Adam suddenly left the camp. He was shipped off to run a place his father had bought in Scotland, but the real reason was that his family didn’t approve of Romaine. His family were very well off, and considered Aunt Minnie and her family common. Aunt Minnie swore, chain-smoked, drank, and didn’t give a shit what anyone thought of her. Uncle Jaybus, was exactly the same, and so was Romaine, who had a straggly ponytail, wore three-inch thick layers of make-up and a gaudy selection of ‘designer’ tracksuits.
Caleb nearly every night. Sometimes we met with his friends, other times it was just the two of us. It was surprisingly easy to slip out of the camp. By this time, few of the others my age wanted to hang around with me; I was social poison to the boys and a lost cause to the girls. Only Adam and Romaine still offered to go out with me, but I told them I didn’t feel like going anywhere. And then, a few weeks later, Adam suddenly left the camp. He was shipped off to run a place his father had bought in Scotland, but the real reason was that his family didn’t approve of Romaine. His family were very well off, and considered Aunt Minnie and her family common. Aunt Minnie swore, chain-smoked, drank, and didn’t give a shit what anyone thought of her. Uncle Jaybus, was exactly the same, and so was Romaine, who had a straggly ponytail, wore three-inch thick layers of make-up and a gaudy selection of ‘designer’ tracksuits.
Romaine was crushed, but eventually she began hanging around with another girl at the camp.
I was sorry, because I really liked Adam. But after he left, it was even simpler for me to slip away to meet Caleb.
After work each day – we got back anywhere between two and six each afternoon, depending on the job in hand – I went in to sit with my mother, the boys and Minnie until Frankie was up and ready, around six. My father would be out talking to the men or collecting more tarmac and I would chat to my mother, help the boys with their games, and give Minnie a cuddle.
Once Frankie was up I would go back to our trailer, get a bowl of hot water and wash the pink dust off me. Levoy would arrive to collect Frankie and Kayla-Jayne and around
seven my father would drive around the camp collecting all the men to go to the pub.
seven my father would drive around the camp collecting all the men to go to the pub.
I was grateful that my father didn’t ask me to drive the men to the pub any more. A few months earlier, not long after passing my test, I had crashed my father’s car head on with another car on a main road. I had taken Romaine and Frankie to buy cigarettes, it was raining and I came off a roundabout and lost control. None of us were hurt, but Frankie had to call my father to come down and bribe the driver of the other car, because I wasn’t insured. My father persuaded him to pretend it was my mother who crashed into him so that he could get his payout. After that I was beaten soundly and banned from driving.
I would lie low until they’d all gone, so that my parents thought I had gone out with the other teenagers. After they had all left, I would make my way quietly down to the retirement camp to meet Caleb.
After each night out, Caleb and I would end up walking the empty streets of the town, holding each other up and not wanting the night to end. And Caleb would pull me in close and tell me that he loved me. But I couldn’t help but think that this might be just how Gorgias are: more open about feelings, not afraid to show affection, and express themselves in ways that my lot never could. So I didn’t respond.
The next day Caleb would reassure me that he said it to all his friends when he was pissed, confirming what I had thought. I felt relieved that I hadn’t made a fool of myself by telling him I loved him too, even though I knew that I did.
My fourteenth birthday fell on a Saturday and I got a
bus into town and spent the whole day celebrating it with Caleb in an Irish pub. I felt awful every time he raised his glass to me being twenty.
bus into town and spent the whole day celebrating it with Caleb in an Irish pub. I felt awful every time he raised his glass to me being twenty.
It was nearly 2 a.m. and we were walking home, when he said it again.
‘I love you, Mikey.’
I laughed. ‘I know, Caleb, you say it all the time.’
He became more serious. ‘Don’t you believe me?’
‘Of course I do,’ I answered, ‘but you’ve already said that you say that all the time to your friends.’
Caleb stopped, and faced me. ‘Mikey, I love you. I’ve loved you since I first saw you in the Dyna Bowl.’
‘I love you too,’ I said. I wrapped my arms around him and held onto him as tightly as I had always dreamed of doing. I could hardly believe that he felt the same way I did.
I couldn’t hold back the tears. He joked with me, calling me a big poof, and I laughed. I wished I could tell him just how much this meant to me, and how desperately I had been searching for him all these years.
It was after 3 a.m. when I got back to the retirement camp in a taxi. I walked towards our camp, dazed with happiness and disbelief. Then, from the direction of the toilets I heard a loud ‘Oi’.
Frankie and Kayla-Jane were calling from Wisdom’s van. I walked over to find Frankie sitting on Wisdom’s lap, and Kayla-Jayne on Tyrone’s. They were laughing hysterically. As the window wound down, a cloud of marijuana smoke wafted out.
Frankie looked haggard. It had been a good month since I had actually seen her out of bed and conscious. She was
asleep when I got up for work each morning, and would leave soon after I got back.
asleep when I got up for work each morning, and would leave soon after I got back.
Clearly I wasn’t the only one sneaking away at night. The girls had a ten o’clock curfew, but the boys would drop them back, then wait in the van in a nearby field. Once the men of the camp had returned from the pub, the girls would sneak out again to meet them. The discovery of such goings on could ruin their lives. The Gypsies on our camp disliked boys like Davey, Wisdom and Tyrone because they were rough, drug-taking types who gave Gypsies a bad name. Our father, and Kayla-Jayne’s, would have a fit if they knew the girls were seeing these boys, let alone sneaking off to meet them unaccompanied, and smoking drugs for half the night.
‘We know your secret,’ taunted Kayla-Jane.
I played dumb, my heart pounding. ‘What secret?’
Frankie crawled out of the van and walked me away a few paces. I could see the bags under her eyes. She pointed a finger right into my face. ‘Caleb,’ she said.
‘I’ve been going out with the Gorgias, that’s all.’
Her voice became very direct. ‘Do you know what me dad’s going to do when he finds out?’
I couldn’t swallow. I knew if that happened I would never see Caleb again.
‘He’ll move us away from here if he finds out you have Gorgia friends.’
Relief flooded over me. She didn’t know we were more than friends.
‘We’ll have to cover for each other then,’ I said calmly.
She shook my hand. ‘It’s a deal.’ We held each other and she kissed my cheek.
‘I love ya.’
‘I love you too.’
As Frankie skipped back to the van, I made my way back to our trailer.
For several months after that, everything seemed to be going well. Frankie and I rarely saw each other, but if our mother or father asked, we had been together all evening. Then someone told our mother what Frankie was really up to, and she told our father.
They waited for Frankie that night, and discovered that I too was not in the trailer. We were both caught, and in between the shouting and the arguments and the threats, Frankie tried to deflect the attention from herself to me.
‘Mikey’s hanging about with a gay Gorgia man.’
When my mother turned and asked if that were true, I denied it, though my cheeks burned scarlet. I confessed that I had been hanging out with some people from the Dyna Bowl, but insisted that Caleb was not gay. My mother accepted this, but my father beat me until he was spent.
‘If I
ever
hear anything like that around my ears again, I fucking swear I will kill you.’
ever
hear anything like that around my ears again, I fucking swear I will kill you.’
Two days later we were moved as far away as my father could take us. And I was kept under tight watch until we left, so I didn’t even have a chance to let Caleb know.
I was being taken from the one person in my life that had made me feel truly alive.
As we left the lanes of Newark, my insides caved in. I lay on the floor in the back of the van and felt myself die.
And yet I was still there. In that moment, that van and that life. My prison.
And yet I was still there. In that moment, that van and that life. My prison.
Two days later I managed to ring Caleb from a phone booth. We had been moved to a camp, miles away, in Chertsey.
He had been terribly worried that something had happened to me, and with no way to contact me, all he’d been able to do was wait in the retirement camp, night after night.
I burst into tears. ‘It’s no good,’ I told him. ‘I don’t know when I will ever be able to see you again.’
‘I’m not letting you go,’ he said. ‘I’ll wait. We’ll find a way, somehow.’
I promised to call him when I could, but I had no idea when that would be.
My father was determined to keep me from going anywhere. We went to work and once we came back, I wasn’t allowed to leave my trailer.
The camp was full of married couples and families with young children. There were no young people my age at all. It was as though the clock had turned back, and the last year, with its new freedoms and friends, hadn’t happened at all.
Frankie was distraught. She moped and sulked and spent most of her time in bed. But she too was using that phone booth. Wisdom tracked us down and within weeks she was once more sneaking out to meet him while the rest of the camp slept.
Frankie confided in our mother, who, realising that this was what her daughter wanted and that she wouldn’t be stopped, gave her support and covered for her.
I was glad for Frankie, but it made me feel even worse, trapped in the trailer and unable to see Caleb at all. I managed to ring him a couple of times and he wanted to come and see me, but I wouldn’t let him. I knew it was too dangerous – my father would have killed us both.
For the next couple of months, my father trailed around looking for work, finding very little. We were in a part of the country that had a big population of Gypsies, so the competition was fierce. And the lack of work put my father into a mood that darkened further each day. I turned fifteen, but this time there were no celebrations.
The only good thing about the Chertsey camp was that Frankie got in touch with our old friend Jamie-Leigh. Her family had come into a lot of money and her father had bought a huge house, just a few miles from the camp.
At nearly fifteen, Jamie-Leigh had chosen to become a born-again Christian, though it certainly didn’t put her off cigarettes or alcohol, or curb her famous foul language. She was still utterly gorgeous and still had a mouth like a sewer.
Jamie-Leigh was one of the few people I was allowed to see and it was wonderful to hang out with her again. I always felt that we were soul-mates and she, Frankie and I began spending a lot of time together, walking through the camp, talking about our lives, laughing over our schooldays and sharing our frustrations at out miserable, trapped lives as teenagers.
Our parents hoped they might be able to save us both by persuading us to marry and Jamie-Leigh dropped hints that I might ask her out. I loved her, as I always had, and if my life had been different, she would have been the only
girl I could have married. But I was in love with Caleb, and even though I never wanted to hurt her, I ignored Jamie-Leigh’s hints.
girl I could have married. But I was in love with Caleb, and even though I never wanted to hurt her, I ignored Jamie-Leigh’s hints.
Work was so scarce that my father had to sell all of his jewellery, and swap his vehicles for an old pick-up and a dodgy Cortina. He fretted and worried and, after three months, he decided, with a bit of persuasion from my mother, that we should return to Newark. He had always found work there, he felt the place was lucky, and my mother convinced him that Frankie and I had learned our lessons and there would be no more sneaking out to meet Gypsy boys for her, or mixing with Gorgias for me.
Though it meant saying another sad goodbye to Jamie-Leigh, I was overjoyed to be going back. I knew that it would still be very dangerous to meet Caleb, so I called him to tell him I was coming back, but would still be under trailer arrest, and I had no idea when I might manage to see him again.
Once we arrived it was hard to resist the longing to run over to the retirement camp next door, in the hope that he would be waiting there for me, but I didn’t dare.
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