Guarding Hearts (Living Again #3) (41 page)

Neon Moon
~ Brooks and Dunn

Somebody’s Heartbreak
~ Hunter Hayes

Invisible
~ Hunter Hayes

Wasting All These Tears
~ Cassadee Pope

See You Again
~ Carrie Underwood

Who I am With You
~ Chris Young

When She Says Baby
~ Jason Aldean

What Hurts the Most
~ Rascal Flatts

It’s Your Love
~ Tim McGraw, Faith Hill

Breathe
~ Faith Hill

Take the Keys
~ Leah Turner

If You Ever Get Lonely
~ Love and Theft

I Can’t Change the World
~ Brad Paisley

Somebody’s Heartbreak
~ Hunter Hayes

All You Ever
~ Hunter Hayes

Secondhand
~ Cassadee Pope

Words I Couldn’t Say
~ Rascal Flatts

Come Wake Me Up
~ Rascal Flatts

Love Story
~ Taylor Swift

Trying Not to Love You
~ Nickelback

Hope You Get Lonely Tonight
~ Cole Swindell

Close Your Eyes
~ Michael Buble

All of M e
~ John Legend

Hold On
~ Colbie Caillat

Let Her Go
~ Passenger

I Choose You
~ Sara Bareilles

Human
~ Christina Perri

Broken Arrows
~ Daughtry

The Other Side
~ Jason Derulo

Vertigo
~ Jason Derulo

Guarding Hearts
playlist on Spotify

I started this journey just a year ago with writing my first novel,
Living Again
, and here it is, my third novel,
Guarding Hearts
. I continually feel blessed to be living my dream, and that there are people that I don’t even know that love my books. Thank you to every single one of you that buy my books, tell a friend, and leave a review. I can never say thank you enough for allowing me to share my stories with you. And there are many more to come! I truly hope you enjoy Ellis’ story.

To my amazingly supportive family, thank you for everything. Being the best PR department, giving me freedom to write, and everything in between. I couldn’t do this without you.

To LeElla, my lifetime bestie, my sister by choice, and amazeballs editor, thank you for everything. Your love and support helps me believe in myself. And, your editing notes crack me up. I love your crazy self.

To Mindy and Kellie, my amazing friends and brainstorming duo. I know for a fact I wouldn’t be here right now, releasing my third book, if it wasn’t for the two of you. In fact, this story was born because of you! Thank you for being my first readers, brainstorming plot twists and things that drove me crazy, and just being there both personally and professionally. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to call you two my friends.

To Christine, we’ve done it again. Another LL Collins book out into the world. One of the best parts of my day is chatting with you, whether it’s sending each other pics of our kids or working on book stuff. I’m so thankful for you, and I love you bunches. You’re the other half of my charm necklace.

To Joely and Carissa, it was one of my best ideas yet to see if Carissa wanted to work on a song for me for
Guarding Hearts
. Carissa, I know that everyone will love “Through it All” just as much as we do. You’re so talented, and I know you can do anything you set your mind to doing. Joely, you’re such a great supporter and friend, one of those people that I know is always there. Thank you.

To my girls in my Sinful X group: Skye Turner, A.M. Madden, A.D. Justice, Tricia Daniels, Ren Alexander, JM Witt, Ann Vaughn, and Christine Davison. Some days you guys are the only ones that keep me sane. So glad we’re in this together. To my other amazing author friends that are too many to list, it’s so great being part of a community that truly wants to see each other do well.

To Alexis, thank you for proofreading it
one more time
for me. You saved my sanity!

To my “beta’s”: Taylor, Karen, Nicole, Joely, Kellie, Mindy, Chrissy, Rachel, Stephanie, Christine, Tracey, Tasmin, Rebecca, Vicki, and Shamika. Thank you so much for your help, even if all of you did miss something rather epic. I know, I know, it was just that you loved the story so much it went right past you that Alexis and Emily could have a child ;)

To Kari from Cover to Cover Designs. Thank you so much for your patience and your friendship. This cover definitely wasn’t the easiest, but it sure turned out fabulous! Thanks for always working hard to make it perfect.

To Brad Olson from Brad Olson Photography, who helped me in a major pinch and got me the world’s BEST cover model. You’re truly a class act, Brad. I can’t wait to see what we can come up with in the future.

To Angela McLaurin at Fictional Formats, I never have to worry about a thing with you on my team. I’m so glad you’re getting to live your dream this year, too.

To my Street Team, I love every one of you and our crazy #hashtag parties. Having a group of girls that just has my back, whether its cover craziness, teasers, opinions or help, you guys are always there.

To the countless number of blogs that agree to share teasers, sales, promotions, and just exist to help get the word out about independently published authors, thank you. We wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for you.

To all of my readers who have devoured Living Again and Reaching Rachel, and I’ve tortured for months waiting for Guarding Hearts, here it is. Enjoy.

Coming late Summer/early Fall

Finding Forever
(Living Again #4)

Turn the page for a sneak peek of the Prologue!

Lacey sat next to the bed, listening to the rhythmic beeping of the machine that was keeping track of her mom’s heart rate, blood pressure, and oxygen level. She only knew that because the really nice nurse had told her what all of it meant. She didn’t even know how long she had been sitting there, but she couldn’t move. If she got up, even just to go to the cafeteria with her dad, she might not be here when it happened. If she wasn’t here, she’d never forgive herself. She knew they’d been here for a long time, but the days all blended together. The date was written on her mom’s white board every day, along with her doctor and nurse’s information, and that’s the only reason Lacey even knew what day it was. She had no idea how long it had been since she’d gone to school, but she had taken to teaching herself and Aubrey. She could do it better anyway. They had always said she had a photographic memory and she knew most of the information school had ever ‘taught’ her.

Any time now, they had said to her dad. He hadn’t known she was listening, but she had been outside the door with her ear pressed up against it. She hadn’t let her little sister Aubrey listen. She was only eight and didn’t need to know what they were saying. But Lacey did. She was twelve today, after all. It was her birthday, not that it mattered.

She had been the one that had gotten her mom a cold washcloth for her head, some ginger ale for her upset stomach, and her medicine when she was too weak to walk. This had been her life since she was ten years old. But if the doctors were correct, and she knew that they were, her job of taking care of her mom was almost over. That made her tummy feel funny and her eyes well with tears. She tried not to cry around her mom because it made her even sadder than she already was. But her mom’s eyes were shut. She hadn’t opened them in a few days.

Lacey remembered the day that her mom and dad sat her and Aubrey down to tell them that they had some bad news. It had been at the end of her fourth grade year. She had been ready for summer and all of the fun that came along with it. She had heard of cancer, knew that it could be deadly. At her age, she had never known anyone close to her that had died or been really sick. Even her grandparents were still healthy.

When her mom had said the words breast cancer, Lacey remembered looking at her mom’s crumpled face, then the tears dripping from her dad’s eyes. Aubrey had only been six and didn’t really understand, only that her parents were crying. Their eyes had been trained on Lacey, watching her. She had jumped up and flung herself into her mom’s arms, wailing so hard and so loud that she didn’t even know that it was herself.

That day seemed like a lifetime ago. Her mom had gone through so many treatments, first a surgery to do a single side mastectomy and remove some lymph nodes, then chemotherapy, followed by radiation. After they had thought she had beat it and was going to recover, it had come back with a vengeance. Not only was it in her remaining breast, but also in her chest cavity. At that point there had been nothing they could do for her but try to make her last few months as comfortable as possible.

Lacey and her family had spent as much time together as they could over the last two months. She had always been very close to her mom, and there were days she didn’t leave her side for more than a few minutes.

A small movement broke Lacey out of her reverie. She stood, gripping her mom’s hand as she noticed her eyes fluttering open. That was a good sign, right? Maybe she would fool all of the doctors. Her mom would be a miracle.

“Mom?” She hated how scared her voice sounded. She had to be brave. Her mom needed her.

Her mom’s blue eyes, identical to hers, focused in on her, and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. She had to be strong. Aubrey and her dad were in the cafeteria. She needed to tell him.

Her eyes flitted to the phone at the bedside, then looked back at her mom before she shut her eyes again. The phone would have to wait.

“Are you okay, Mom? Are you in pain?”

Tears filled her mom’s eyes and she shook her head just enough that Lacey could see it. Lacey took her hand. She was always so cold now. Her mom sucked in a breath, the oxygen in her nose assisting her breathing.

She opened her mouth and attempted to speak, but a harsh noise escaped instead. She looked over at the table at the water, and Lacey took a small straw full and put it on her mom’s lips and tongue. She swallowed, her mouth curling in a weak smile.

“I love you, Mom,” Lacey choked out, losing the battle of keeping her emotions in check.

Her mom lifted her hand and caressed her cheek, and she leaned into her like she always did. Even though she had been in a hospital bed for a long time now, she could still smell her smell, the one that comforted her, loved her, and made her feel better when she was sick.

“Happy Birthday, Lace,” she whispered, her voice cracking a few times. “My big girl.”

Lacey sobbed, tears streaming down her face. She remembered. Tears began leaking from her mom’s eyes too. Even though she didn’t look the same as she did two years ago, her body ravaged by sickness, she was still her mom.

“Mommy,” she said, something she hadn’t called her in years.

“I’ll love you forever,” she whispered in response, her eyes closing with the effort it was taking her to talk. Lacey wanted to lay on her mom’s chest and beg for her to stay, not to leave her here like this. But she couldn’t. She knew it wouldn’t do any good. No one was listening. Not even God. But how would she take care of her dad and her sister? What were they all going to do without her mom?

Her mom’s eyes blinked back open and she smiled thinly. “Enjoy your life, baby girl. You can do anything…” Her eyes closed, and she didn’t move.

Lacey watched her face, frozen until she was shaken from her trance by the beeping of the machines in the room. Why were they so loud?

“Code Blue, room 133. Code blue.”

Before she knew it, the room was full of people and she was pulled against the wall by her dad, who held her in his strong arms as the alarm was silenced and the wires were removed.

“Don’t do that!” she screamed at them, fighting to break free of her dad’s arms. “She’s just sleeping! Don’t turn that off! Help her! She needs medicine!”

“Lacey, she’s gone,” her dad repeated over and over, his mouth touching her hair. “She’s not in pain anymore, honey. She’s gone.” She kicked and screamed. She had just told her Happy Birthday. They were wrong. She wasn’t gone.