Guardian of My Soul

Elizabeth
Lapthorne

Book 10 of the Urban Seductions
series.

Sally is a
powerful witch – perhaps too powerful. In her quest to help others, she has
drawn on dark magics that have left her emotionally shattered and craving the
evil she seeks to combat.

Kyle has vowed
that if she strays, he will always bring her back – and Kyle is far more
intoxicating than the most potent of spells, the most evil of castings or
rituals.

But when a more talented magic user
is determined to use her magic for wicked ends, Sally most hope her lust for
his body and her love for his soul hold enough magic to save them both.

A Romantica®
paranormal erotic romance
from
Ellora’s Cave

About ten years ago

Sally embraced the disorientation as she sank into the
darkness. Thick black pillar candles flickered, lighting her way. The wisps of
incense, her own special blend, wove patterns around her and helped to guide
her deeper, ever deeper.

No matter how many times she lowered herself into the inky-black
recess of her mind and soul, she never became used to it. Nor was the journey
ever exactly the same.

Initially—that very first time—she’d been terrified. The
landscape was alien, brutal and desolate. The scenes shifted like dreams, faint
breezes that eluded your grasp the harder you tried to clutch at them.
Temptation, power and demons of the mind and spirit lurked everywhere.

This was not a place for novices or the faint of heart.

Then there was Sally’s own mental and emotional blocks.
Years, decades of being trained and coached, of having lessons hammered into
her about how evil the darkness was, were damn near impossible to overcome. But
a child’s life was at stake, an innocent little witch barely four years old who
had been kidnapped for sacrifice in an evil ritual. Time had been running out,
and really, what harm could it do to tap into the same tainted power to Track
and stop the rogues and save the child?

That first time, even remaining on the fringes, hadn’t been as
bad as Sally had expected. Indeed everything had turned out perfectly. She’d
managed to boost her magic, find those responsible and save the little girl,
returning her to her distraught mommy and daddy and the safety, love and warmth
of her home.

A tiny stain on her soul was a small price to pay for that.

But such things were never so simple.

The following time, months later, it had been less
terrifying and easier to dabble in the darkness. It had been a slow progress
and Sally had resisted as best she could. But there was always another
heartbreaking case. A hundred more evil rogues to defeat behind the one she and
her partner, Kyle, pitted themselves against.

It never ended.

Sure, the darkness was uncomfortable. The path she trod was
uncertain and nerve-racking, but Sally was determined to not let her doubts and
fears stop her from helping those in true need. And the more she dipped into the
darkness that lurked beneath the surface, the easier it became.

This last year in particular, Sally acknowledged to herself,
she’d used the darkness more than necessary. More than was healthy.

Never for personal gain. Never for selfish reasons. But it
was a cliché for a reason—the road to Hell was certainly paved with good
intentions.

By the time Sally realized how far she’d come, it was miles
too late to turn back.

Even Kyle—sweet, solid, magnificent Kyle—had nudged her
about her use of the darker magics. Sally had smiled, hugged him and reassured
him with false words and a bright smile.

But that was when it had hit home—she was a lot further gone
than she’d ever anticipated, and something needed to be done before a Mage
other than her reliable best friend noticed.

And so she’d prepared herself. Put her affairs in order and
decided to cleanse herself, to wipe the slate clean and start again.

It had failed dismally. When Sally reflected upon herself,
looked at the taint staining her soul, she knew not even the strongest of magic
could make her whole again. Not only had the ritual not worked, but the light she’d
meant to generate had not shone at all.

Her soul dripped evil and darkness.

It was hopeless.

And so Sally fell into it, dived headfirst into the slick,
oil-thick blackness that was her magic and soul. It smelled foul and her spirit
was crushed. There was no way she’d ever be clean or whole again.

The knowledge was lowering. A bitter pill to swallow.

Feeling the ground steady under her feet, Sally opened her
eyes and gazed around. She stood within a decaying house. She knew the rooms as
well as those in her own little flat but finally, after all these years, she
viewed them through clear eyes and with an open heart.

The house was shattered. Destroyed from the inside out. Just
like her. The rooms were a mere skeleton of their old selves. She’d sucked their
power dry, drained them of everything good, everything whole or right.

Now the bare bones were left to be whittled away and
disappear.

“Go on,” a whisper came from the shadows. “You’re ready to
expand your mind. Go forth and take your true power.”

Sally shook her head.

How could she possibly have listened to these demons? Was
she truly so blind? Fear trickled into her blood as the full ramifications of
her actions sank in. She was too far gone.

“There’s nothing for you here,” a different voice said from behind
her. “You need to step outside and grow.”

Sally turned and saw her father. “Daddy!” she called.

The image wavered as she moved toward him.

Sally cursed. She should know better by now. Everything and
nothing here was real. No, that wasn’t truly her long-dead father, but a
kaleidoscope of her memories, dreams and hopes of him. She didn’t even know whether
the demons—one of the few things real here—could manipulate her as easily as
they did the ghosts she met along the way.

Even knowing better than to listen to the voices, she turned
toward the back door of the house. The darkness pressed hard around her,
squeezing her in an effort to force her hand. Insidious whispers filled the
air, growing in volume but still not coherent, as there were too many layered
over one another.

Sally didn’t see a choice. She’d come this far—why not see
the full ramifications of her actions?

Although she felt hesitant in her heart, Sally was never one
to back down from a challenge. If you showed fear it ate at you. Pretend to be
as strong as you hoped you were and the battle was half fought. It was
something Kyle had taught her long ago and a lesson she never wanted to lose.

Sally threw open the back door and stepped out of the house.
As she touched her feet to the dusty ground the house disintegrated and
collapsed behind her. She didn’t need anything to explain that to her. She’d
made her choice and any pretense of dabbling was now long gone.

The world around her was vast, expansive. The silence was
absolute and darkness hovered everywhere. Thick shadows reached out, tendrils
roiling within it. Skittish movement slunk just out of sight.

Without the house as a reference point, Sally wondered how
on earth she was supposed to get back.

To herself.

To her home.

To reality.

To Kyle.

And so she wandered. The vista was endless. Flat, dusty and
dirty. Fog swirled around her, little bugs squeaked as they scurried on
pinprick legs. When Sally rested against a decayed tree, a skeletal trunk
sticking up into nothing, something from the shadows bit her.

The darkness had teeth and it was hungry.

The smell of her blood now drew things to her. Things she
didn’t want to look at poked and prodded her from the dust, and whenever she
got close to the inky shadows things with spindly fingers reached for her or
locks of hair wrapped around her feet. Sharp fangs broke her skin, needlelike
claws grasped her.

If it hadn’t all been so alien she would have been frozen
solid, petrified with fear.

Time lost all meaning.

Sally walked and walked, then rested and walked some more.
Nothing changed. The endless sameness of the landscape made her think she might
have died and gone straight to Hell.

Finally, despair took over. Sally cried, but even that
solace was denied her—the tears burned down her face, blistering her skin and
adding to her anguish. And once she’d started to cry it was near impossible to
stop, despite the pain it caused her.

Nothing made sense. Nothing was right. She was alone, lost
and beyond hope. Sally thirsted, her tongue swollen with need and her throat
feeling as if it had pieces of broken glass in it. Her lips cracked and her
cheeks burned from the pain of her tears.

Her mind started to play tricks on her. The whispers in the
darkness surrounding her grew louder.

It took everything she had to hold herself together. But
Sally knew she was deluding herself once again. Something inside her had broken
here, something important and delicate.

Pulling at her hair, Sally let herself go.

“You can all go fuck yourselves!” she screamed to the world
in general. She shot fireballs and energy out her hands until she was drained
and her skin peeled back.

Nothing mattered.

The world around her crumbled away and Sally lost herself.

She collapsed into the dust. Whether days or weeks had
passed she had no idea. Dirt caked her body, grew pasty in her mouth and
clogged her throat.

Sally hated the thought that she’d shrivel up and die here,
but really what did it matter? No one cared, least of all her. She deserved it,
after all. She’d tapped into this evil, this darkness, and used it—now it was
consuming her, paying her back.

Broken, destitute, Sally closed her eyes and gave up.

“Sally?”

That was a voice she knew, one she’d never heard here. Sally
looked up and winced.

The damn darkness had brought Kyle to her. Hadn’t she
suffered enough? Tall and lithe with spiky blond hair, he practically shone
with perfection in the wasteland. Sally cried hot tears of shame and disgust
with herself.

“I’ve paid for my sins,” she wailed. “Don’t you dare turn
him against me. Be gone!”

“Sally, it’s me, Kyle,” the vision insisted.

She grabbed a handful of the dust and threw it at him, so
weak it didn’t even cross the few feet separating them.

“You’re so useless,” the demons whispered to her, “broken
and stupid. Why not take his energy? He is a strong one—plenty of magic for you
to tap into there.”

“Just shut the fuck up,” she shouted. Sally closed her eyes
against the world. She didn’t want to taste him, to lick her lips and feel him
upon her. It was all wrong.

Kyle sat beside her. The action startled her and she lifted
tear-filled eyes to stare at him again. His gaze burned into her, dark-blue and
everything she missed about home, about him.

“It’s okay, Sal, I’m going to get you out of here.”

Sally flinched away. “Haven’t you tormented me enough?” she
sighed. “I was wrong, I realize that. I’m paying for it and will continue to do
so. Change forms again, demon. You can be anyone you want, just not Kyle. Don’t
taint that for me.”

Kyle reached out for her and Sally scurried away, knowing he
would rip her flesh, make her crack and bleed and beg. Everything else had—why
should he be different?

“Sal, you need to come with me, please,” he said.

But she was too far gone, not able to distinguish between
dream and fantasy, reality and dreamscape. It was all a blur.

“Okay, okay.” He lifted his hands palm up, his tone
placating. “We’ll just talk. Talk to me, baby. Like we always do.”

That felt better, Sally had to admit. She and Kyle always
talked, about everything. Well, almost. They’d both been very determined to
skip around the simmering attraction they’d always felt. More recently her
unusual burst of insight and power had been added to that no-go list.

Maybe this was her chance to rectify that.

So Sally talked.

She walked fake-Kyle through everything. Her dabbling, her
reasons and the outcome. It was a disjointed story, full of rambling and
shaking, tangents and mumbling. Frequently Sally lost track of what she was
saying, but each time Kyle gently brought her back.

It created a rhythm between them, one that gave her comfort.
Each time she got caught in a mental loop or distracted by something biting her
in the dust or when the voices in the shadows got too loud, Kyle soothed her,
stroked her knotted hair and brought her mentally back on track.

She had no idea how long he’d been carrying her, but she
jerked when she realized that was what was happening.

“No, no, Sal. Baby. It’s okay,” Kyle insisted as she fought
against him, trying to get out of his arms. “Shhh, baby. I’m taking you home.
Keep talking. Tell me about the house. Was it like my cabin?”

“Yes. No,” Sally replied, her mind splintered. “Parts were.
There were rooms from there. I felt safe. Happy. But then it would change, and
something I needed would be found. Then I’d go. Leave the warm and come back to
fight. I’m tired of fighting, Kyle.”

“We’ll take a break,” he promised her. “But that’s what we
do. We help people. We hunt bad people and rescue those who need it. You love
that.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “But I’m bad now. Tainted. Stained. We
can’t hunt me, can we?”

“No one will hunt you,” Kyle promised. The strength in his
tone warmed her, gave her hope. “I’ve got you now—we’re going home.”

“Home? I don’t understand. Where is that?” she mumbled.
Sally closed her eyes and buried her head against Kyle’s chest. She knew this
wasn’t real, that she’d be bitten soon, or eaten. Flesh and blood ripped and
drained from her.

But he smelled so good, masculine and faintly of sandalwood.

Sandalwood.

Sally lifted her head. She always mixed that into her
personal incense to remind her of Kyle, to help to lead her home. She could
smell it on him but also somewhere else, somewhere far away and indistinct.

“That’s right, baby—focus on whatever you’ve found now—we’re
getting closer,” Kyle urged her on.

Sally trembled. She wasn’t herself anymore, she knew that.
Things had changed—broken and fallen apart. But Kyle was there and he helped to
keep her on track.

“You need to leave me behind,” she insisted. “I’m tainted.”

“Since when have we ever taken the easy route, baby?” Kyle
replied. His grip on her didn’t loosen. “Come on, now, focus. Please? Come home
to me.”