Grasping at Eternity (The Kindrily) (5 page)

“Come on, Maryah,” Louise urged. “Anthony moved your bags to the guest room.”

“I’ll be in later,” Krista said.

I followed Louise to a bedroom I hadn’t seen during our tour.

“You should be comfortable in here.” Louise reached into her pocket. “And I want you to have this.” She examined my fingers then slid a silver ring onto my thumb. The round face had shimmering shades of blue, green, and amber. It was the eye of a peacock feather.

I almost burned down her house and she was giving me a gift? “It’s beautiful, but I can’t accept it.”

She squeezed my hand shut and pressed it against my chest. “It’s been passed down in your family for generations. It belongs to you.”

“Was it my mother’s?”

“Not exactly. It’s a long story—a very long story. But trust me, it’s a cherished possession, and it looks perfect on you.”

She fluffed pillows as I held up my hand, admiring how the colors sparkled in the light. Then I did a double take. I could’ve sworn something squirmed under the curved glass, just behind the feather. Squinting, I turned the ring from side to side and opened my mouth to ask Louise to look at it, but she silenced me by saying, “Don’t light any candles.”

My eyes were still playing tricks on me because of the shock and adrenaline rush from the fire. “No candles. I promise.”

Louise left and I grabbed my pajamas then headed down the hallway to shower. I paused at Carson’s room when I heard him shouting.

“Her first day here and she torched the place! How much more is everyone going to tolerate? It’s like you said, her being here is—”

The sudden silence should have been my warning. Three long strides and I could’ve made it to the bathroom. Carson wouldn’t have known I’d been listening. But I was too stupefied to react. He cracked his door open and stuck his head out.

So busted. “I was, um, on my way to…to the bathroom.”

“Need a map? Or should I install a peephole in my door so you can watch while you listen?”

I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. Carson hated me. Not only that, he was talking to someone else who didn’t like me. Was Anthony in his room? Was he on the phone? To top it off, he caught me eavesdropping on him. I was used to people ignoring me, but this was way worse. This made me want to cry, or puke, or run away, or all three. “I wasn’t listening. I didn’t hear anything. I—”

“Go away, Sparky.”

I pried my feet off the ground, forcing one to step in front of the other, until I was inside the bathroom with the door shut. I climbed in the shower and turned it as hot as it would go. My skin squeaked against the porcelain as I sat down and let the water beat down on me. The burn on my arm stung, but the emotional sting of humiliation was way worse. I hugged my knees to my chest and let the pain wash over me.

No way could I ever move here. I wanted to go home.

Except I didn’t know where home was anymore.

Nathaniel

After he slammed the door, Carson pulled his sweatshirt off and threw it at the bed. “See, she’s a snoop!”

I chuckled at the irony. At least she didn’t lose her sleuth abilities when she erased—well, not all of them.

Carson moved so fast he was a blur. His hypersonic speed intensified when he was emotional. Barely a second passed, but he’d already pulled a suitcase from his closet and stuffed it with clothes. “I’m out. I’m coming to live with you guys in Colorado.”

I leaned against his desk. “You’re needed here. Imagine what might have happened if you hadn’t been here during the fire.”

“You and Anthony would have handled it.” He whirled by me so fast that papers flew into the air. “Was she this accident-prone in her other lives?”

I grinned, restacking the papers and setting his laptop on top of them. “More so. That’s why I need you to look out for her.”

“What’s the word you always use? Abolished? She abolished our family. Why should we go out of our way to help her?” He finally stood still to zip his suitcase. “Tell Dylan to come pick me up. I’m not living with her. I can’t stand her.”
 

“You have experienced only this lifetime of knowing her.”

“Whatever. I met her last lifetime.”

“You were four years old—hardly enough time, or memories, to judge someone.” I sat on his bed, resting my head in my hands. “She has no memory of abandoning us. You can’t hold that against her.”

“Ha.” He huffed. “For years I’ve watched you mope around and shut yourself off from the world because she broke your heart. She deprived me of a normal relationship with you. Both of my brothers moved away because of her. I hold
that
against her.”

For the first time I realized how deeply my depression had hurt Carson. This was his only experience of having brothers, and I had been a terrible one. “I’m sorry for that. Dylan didn’t want to leave, but Amber felt being around Maryah would cause her too much guilt.”

“Right. The bitch drove everyone away.”

“Carson, watch your mouth. She’s still my soul mate.”

“What? I don’t get you, man! You moved away because she
might
come live with us. Then you go out of your way to create your old frou-frou bedroom and—”

“She needed a safe haven when she arrived. She lost her family. Our bed and the elements in our room might give her serenity.” It devastated me that my arms no longer provided her that.

“Serenity? Peacock stuff and a dream catcher? She doesn’t remember that crap!”

I nodded at his Howlite necklace. “That doesn’t negate their powerful energy.”

The white stone helped calm tempers, and Carson had anger issues. It also helped souls remember past lives, and Carson wanted to remember more of his last one. It was his initiation life as an Element, but he died as a toddler, so he’d mostly only remember from this life forward.

“How can you pretend she didn’t screw this family over in every way possible?” He threw his hands up in the air.
 
“Harmony suffers every day because of what she did!”

“Carson, enough!” I tried pushing his flailing arms to his side, but his strength was no match for me. He tossed me across the room like a feather. Just before I hit the wall, I traversed in midair and reappeared in front of him. “You aren’t the only fast one in this kindrily.”

We were face to face, blood bonding us physically, supernal selection uniting us eternally. Anger still flashed in his eyes, but I remained calm. I possessed volumes of life lessons he hadn’t begun to learn. “I won’t tolerate you scathing her.”

His jaw tightened. “Why’d you even move out? You made a huge deal about how her being around would push you over the edge, but here you are, saving her from fires and watching over her anyway. You’re totally contradicting yourself.”

“Until you find yours, you can’t understand how impossible it is to be separated from your soul mate—or how difficult it is to be around them when they have no idea who you are.”

Carson held up his index finger. “One, I will never get roped into the soul mate BS. I’ve seen how it turns out. Two,” he extended his middle finger as well then poked my chest. “Just tell her the truth.”

I flinched, resisting the urge to rub my chest. I could already feel it bruising. I envied his strength. “I wish it were that simple. The past has taught us that no one believes in our way of existence unless they’ve experienced it firsthand—and
remember
it. If we tried explaining who and what we are, Maryah would be terrified and probably cut us off completely.”

“Good. Let her.” He must have seen the pain register on my face. “I’m sorry, Nate. I didn’t mean that.”

“Apology accepted.” Carson was more upset by the situation—and by the absence of me and Dylan—than I ever would have guessed. I promised myself I’d be a better brother to him. “Thank you again for your help during the fire. You never fail to impress me in dire situations.”

A proud grin replaced his irritation. “It was nothing.”

I couldn’t shake the image of Maryah surrounded by flames. “Do you think she saw me?”

“She didn’t mention anything. She questioned Anthony freezing time, but Louise fed her some brain instinct theory.”

“It’s like I’m invisible to her.” The words escaped my mouth by accident and sounded as insecure as I felt. Carson had already seen enough of my pain and weakness.

“I thought you weren’t ready to see her again. So
why
do you keep stalking her?”

I needed to tell him about the Nefariouns, but it wasn’t the proper time. Edgar could explain the situation better than I could. “Because she keeps ending up in danger.”

He grabbed his phone and began texting, knowing it drove me insane when he did that during conversations. “You said when Maryah woke up, there were flames between the two of you. Maybe she couldn’t see past the fire. Or if she did catch a glimpse of you, your disappearing into thin air probably made her think she was hallucinating.”

“What about the night she was attacked? She hasn’t mentioned me being there either, or at the hospital.” For fourteen nights I sat by her side, making sure her heart monitor continued beeping, and willing her to fight for her life.
 

Carson looked up from his phone. “Dude, she was practically dead. You’ve died a bunch of times. Can you remember all the details?”

“Most of them, yes.”

He rolled his eyes just as his phone chirped then he flicked the screen. “What a dickhead.”

“Who?”

“Dylan. He says I can’t move in with you guys.”

I sat beside him. “You have friends here, and Harmony and Louise would be crushed if you left them. Besides, I’m counting on you to look after Maryah. We all need to be on high alert right now.”

“Those pathetic outcasts thought they had the wrong girl. They wouldn’t follow her out here.”

“You already know it was the Nefariouns who attacked her?”

“Yeah. Louise and Anthony told me.”

“Then you know they might come after someone else in our kindrily. If they have any common sense they may figure out it was Maryah, and that she erased. If they find out she’s here, it could lead them right to us.”

“Good. This time we’ll be ready.” Carson punched the palm of his hand. “Those lowlifes kidnapped Gregory and murdered nine of us in the process. It’s time for paybacks.”

“We won’t stand a chance unless we stick together.”

“Exactly my point. You, Dylan, and Amber should move back home.”

I considered his logic. “If I promise to work on convincing Dylan and Amber to return, will you help look after Maryah?”

He looked down, tossing his phone back and forth. After several seconds of silent juggling, he countered. “That
and
you promise to answer all my phone calls and texts. And traverse here whenever I need you.”

He was too smart for his own good. “Within reason. At times it may be impossible.”

He squinted as if trying to assess how much more he could demand of me. “I’m only doing it because I miss you guys.”

“Thank you, Carson.”

Before I finished standing, he had stripped down to his boxers and blurred into bed. “It doesn’t mean I give a crap about her.” He threw a pillow at me much too fast for me to catch or dodge. “I still don’t understand what you see in that girl.”

That was the soul-shattering issue. I saw nothing inside of her. No flicker of the depthless light in her eyes, no trace of the soul I had loved for centuries. She had let go of our eternity, and I couldn’t stop grasping onto the memory of who she used to be.

Maryah

Krista crawled into bed with me and rubbed aloe on my arm. “They don’t hate you.”

“I almost burned down their house, and Carson definitely hates me.”

“He’s just a kid. He probably hates everyone.”

“He’s only a year younger than us.”

She set the aloe bottle on the nightstand. “Yeah, but we’re old souls. He has a lot of growing up to do.”

“What if they all end up hating me? Or what if death came for me that night, but something went wrong? Now it’s going to keep coming for me. Like the fire, maybe that was death’s second attempt. What if I’m putting people in danger by being here?”

She laughed. “You watch too many scary movies. Death isn’t some black-robed figure hunting you down and staging freak accidents to kill you.”

No, death is a gorgeous movie-star angel man that rides a motorcycle and sat beside you at the hospital
. I wanted to say that, but I chose something less loony. “What’s up with you being all buddy-buddy with everyone?”

“What do you mean?”

“Hugging everyone, and smacking Carson. You’re making yourself right at home.”

“They’re very hospitable—and loveable.”

“Loveable? You hardly know them.”

“Shhh.” Her fingers glided over my burn in her trademark figure eight pattern. “Think healing thoughts.”

Krista had an obsession with wanting to make people feel better. She’d done the healing thoughts thing since as far back as I could remember.

I faked a smile. “Seriously, my arm is okay. Stop stressing.”

“How’s your head?”

“Fine.” Since the age of two I’d gotten chronic headaches that doctors couldn’t prevent or cure. My brain surgery didn’t help matters. My ears had been buzzing so loud it made me dizzy, like a dozen bumblebees drag racing around my head. Thankfully, the bees had gone to bed. “What about you? You’ve got those dark circles under your eyes that always show up right before you get sick.”

“I’m just tired.” She wrapped her pinky around mine. “Let’s get some sleep. We’ve been through a lot today.”

“That’s an understatement.”

Krista recited the same line she’d used every night since we were little. “Sweet dreams, Pudding. The stars are waiting for you.”

Freakin’ stars. She had no idea how much guilt the mention of them caused me.

I fell asleep within minutes, but woke up several times, tossing and turning. Each time I felt disoriented because of the unfamiliar room. Blame it on the dream catcher, or the mental overload of being in Sedona, but when I did reach deep sleep, my dreams were intense.