Good Time Bad Boy (21 page)

He focused on her face and it helped to pull himself out of his reverie and focus on the present. “Call me Wade.”

Randy’s big voice boomed out over the sound system. “Ladies and gentleman, please welcome Brittain’s own Wade Sheppard!”

The little stage manager patted his arm and mouthed good luck. He couldn’t hear her over the sound of applause. He shoved his right hand in his jeans pocket and withdrew a pick. The flat surface and sharp, rounded edges felt like an extension of his fingertips, so natural after playing guitar for most of his life.

Wade strode to the stage, not slow but not hurried either. The wine red finish of his Gibson Hummingbird gleamed under the lights. He glanced out over the crowd and picked up the guitar.

They’d already worked out a set list, with room for some improvisation. So he knew what song to start with, and now as he listened to the thunder of the crowd he knew how to start the show. He raised his hands and lowered them slowly. The crowd responded, growing quieter as his hands dropped. He knew he had them, right from the start. That bolstered his confidence. Wade couldn’t see her but some instinct told him that Daisy was out there in the audience somewhere. He called up an image of her face bathed in moonlight and rapt with attention as he sang to her, just to her, and he had what he needed.

He nodded at the rhythm guitarist and then tore into
Whiskey River
with a vengeance. That bottle of booze he’d killed last weekend hadn’t done a damn thing for him. It certainly hadn’t cleared out the shit left in his veins by Daisy’s rejection. He channeled all of that now, every stupid pointless emotion the liquor hadn’t been able to wash away, and he exorcised it on the strings of his guitar. And god damn, it felt good. Cleansing and purifying and every bit the release his soul needed.

That set the pace for the next two hours. He played hard and loud and poured himself into every song, every note. The set list was a mix of covers and his own songs. Every time he sang one of his old hits, it felt like letting something free. It wasn’t on the list, but after conferring quickly with the band he launched into
Empty Rooms
. It cut him open right on stage and seared him to the bone, and this time the word exorcism felt truer than ever. Tears glistened in the eyes of a few close to the stage and he knew without having to see that there were more crying in the audience. He’d cried himself a few times, singing this song. This time when all that old heartbreak washed over him, he didn’t hold on to it with the greed of a man afraid he’d never feel again. He let it all go. As the song wound down to its final notes, he felt its power over him finally slip away.

The crowd was already on its feet. Now as they applauded and cheered, it felt like an embrace. He stood silent and still in front of the microphone for a long moment. The set list was visible, taped to an amp to his right. But now that he’d gone off the map, he wanted to keep going. All they had left was the encore, so surely no one would begrudge him taking off his hat and singing something a little different. He knew he’d just given one of the best shows of his life, and he’d done it by giving the audience what they wanted. Surely now he could have a little bit of what he wanted.

But what did he want? He still didn’t have an answer to that.

Then he saw her, three rows deep in the audience.

“Thank you all for being such a great audience tonight.” They answered with cheers and shouts and a few ear-splitting rebel yells. “How about a hand for this fantastic band back here?” He stepped to one side and held an arm out toward the band. The crowd roared its appreciation.

Wade stepped back up to the mic and removed his hat, setting it on the guitar stand behind him. He ran a hand through his sweaty hair and grinned. “It’s hot under all these lights.” He turned back to the rhythm guitarist and whispered. Audience members hollered and Wade knew he had to gather his courage quickly if he was going to do this.

“I got a song I’ve been working on. It’s not really finished yet and nobody’s heard it. How about I play it for y’all and you tell me if it’s got any potential?”

The crowd answered with encouragement. Wade sought out the face of the one person whose opinion he really wanted. Daisy stared, her mouth slightly open and on the verge of a smile. Her eyes glowed with something he was afraid to try to name.

“Just remember, y’all, this is a work in progress. It’s got some rough edges that need fixing.” He strummed the guitar, running through a few chords to calm his nerves. “I’ll probably forget the words.” He laughed and the crowd joined in.

Random chords became deliberate notes and he launched into the song.

He wore his hat and jeans like armor

A disguise to protect the truth

It worked just fine as long as other people believed the lie

But when he started believing it too

The armor became a cage.

He was just another good time bad boy

Pretending to be more than he was

Just another good time bad boy

Who forgot how to be the man he really was.

He made women smile and couples dance

And men want to be his friend.

He gave them all what they wanted

Happy to make them happy

Never thinking about what he might need for himself.

Then he had nothing left to give

Just empty and hollow.

The good times felt fake and he didn’t want to be

Anybody’s bad boy anymore.

No one else could see it

Except for her, the one who looked right through him

And saw the stars that guided his way.

He’d lost that way a long time ago

But looking at her showed it to him again.

He was just another good time bad boy

Pretending to be more than he was

Just another good time bad boy

Who forgot how to be the man he really was.

He put away the armor and stepped out of his cage.

He did his best to find the man he used to be.

But it was too late.

That man was gone.

All anybody saw was a good time bad boy

That’s all they wanted him to be.

But that wasn’t what she wanted and she walked away.

Just another good time bad boy

Was that all he could ever be?

Wade faltered at the look on Daisy’s face. She looked blasted open and raw, and he knew the song had hurt her. It wasn’t meant to be an indictment of her, not at all. It was an indictment of himself, for not being able to get past himself. Now he wished he hadn’t sang the song, especially as rough and unfinished as it was. As brutally honest as it was.

But if he was going to debut a song like that in front of any audience, it felt right to be this one here is his hometown. These people knew better than anyone that
Empty Rooms
wasn’t just a story, and they’d offered their love and approval to him for opening himself up like that. They did it again now, cheering and applauding and yelling for more. The song might have been rough, but it was true, and they respected that.

“Thank you all so much. It needs some work but I think it’s a good start. Hey, how about one more song? I don’t want to close the night with a half-finished song.” He laughed. “What do y’all say? You want one more?”

The crowd roared. Wade turned to the band. They could play all kinds of music but he knew they were best known in the area as a classic rock and soul band. They hurriedly picked a song and Wade turned back to the microphone. The crowd bellowed as the guitarist for The Sandy River Boys traded his usual instrument for a banjo and joined Wade at the front of the stage.

Wade grinned as he searched the audience for Randy. “That little stage at Rocky Top was the first stage I called home, Randy Tucker, and I want to thank you for that. And I want to thank all y’all for coming out tonight.”

The first notes from the banjo sent the crowd into a frenzy.

“This is for you, Randy.” Wade just about had to yell to be heard over the crowd as the band launched into
Rocky Top
, the classic Randy had named his bar after.

The convention center erupted in sustained applause as the concert came to an end. Randy came back on stage to introduce each band member. When it was Wade’s turn to stand front and center again, he took a bow and let the adulation fill him. But when he realized he no longer saw Daisy in the crowd, worry slipped in. The applause felt good, better than good, but Daisy –– she was what he needed.

He spent the next twenty minutes being dragged around by Randy for personal introductions to people whose names Wade couldn’t remember seconds after hearing them. He scanned the area for Daisy’s blond hair, finding every blond in the building except for the one he wanted.

He was struggling to pay attention to somebody, maybe the mayor or a councilman or just some old rich buddy of Randy’s, when a shout from behind got his attention. He knew that voice. He hastily excused himself and turned.

Daisy stood leaning against a side door near the stage. “You look good without the hat.”

The little half smile that played at the edges of her mouth was all the invitation he waited for. Wade made his way through the crowd, never taking his eyes off of her. He stopped a foot away from her. “Hi.”

She said nothing for what felt like a long time but was probably not even a minute. Just stared at him with her eyes full of emotion. “I feel like I’m about to walk a tightrope without a net here.”

“If it helps, you won’t be alone.”

Randy bellowed his name. Wade wanted to slip out with Daisy’s hand in his before anyone could pull him away from her. She pushed off from the wall and stood so close he could feel strands of her hair against him. “You’re not done working.”

“No.” He smiled ruefully, grateful she understood. “I’m not.”

“Where do you want to meet?”

Every muscle in his body tightened in anticipation. He pulled his keys out of his pocket and hurriedly removed his house key. He pressed it into her palm and told her the alarm system code. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

She melted into the crowd. Wade watched her go until Randy arrived with another local dignitary in tow. He did his best to continue to be Wade Sheppard, Country Star for a little while longer. Soon enough, he would be himself - the man he was with Daisy.

D
aisy wanted to explore Wade’s house but wasn’t sure if she should. He’d given her the key, surely he wouldn’t mind. But it still felt wrong to wander around without him being home. She sat in the living room on a plush, cozy sofa accented with matching pillows and a throw. A notebook lay on the coffee table, with a pen marking a place inside the pages. The cover of the book wasn’t labeled and they’d never talked about the mechanics of his songwriting, but she knew if she looked at those pages she’d find lyrics. She dragged her gaze away and stood, then went to stand in front of the bay window.

The lake was beautiful at night. The edge of the marina could be seen on the right side of the window. Lights glittered on the water, almost a twin to the star-dotted sky above. She settled on the floor and took her shoes off. She had no idea what she would say to Wade, or what she even wanted. Just because she was here tonight didn’t mean he would stay past the summer. Just because she’d taken his house key from him didn’t mean she wanted a part-time long-distance relationship. She didn’t know what she wanted, other than this night with him.

Then there was the question of what Wade wanted. If that song was any indication, he didn’t want to be just another good time bad boy. God, she wished she’d never said that to him. She didn’t know how to feel about the song. On the one hand, she hated it that she’d hurt him. On the other, she was amazed that he could take an off-hand comment and turn it into something like that. Even though it was grounded in at least some pain. She’d rejected him, and instead of doing something destructive with whatever that made him feel, he’d created something out of it. That took her breath away.

The front door opened. Daisy scrambled to her feet. Wade entered the room, his dark eyes full of fire. She started to speak but the words dried to dust in her throat. He never stopped moving, came right at her until he had her backed up against the floor to ceiling window. He rested his hands on the glass on either side of her head, caging her with his arms. She whispered his name.

Wade shook his head. “We’re not gonna talk tonight.” He cupped her cheek and she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. “Unless it’s to say
yes
, and
more
, and
right there
.
This is what I like
.
This is what I want
.” He dragged his thumb over her bottom lip, slow and torturous. “Everything else can wait until tomorrow.”

His deep voice sank into her skin and set her bones on fire. She opened her eyes to see him staring at her with the same intense desire she felt. Layers of doubt and fear peeled away, leaving nothing but a spinning, spiraling sensual heat that spread through her body like wildfire. She took his face in her hands and whispered
yes
before kissing him.

When was the last time she let herself get out of control with a man? Sometime before hobbling into the emergency room two years ago, bloody and beaten by an ex-boyfriend who didn’t want to be an ex. It was a hard lesson to learn, that sometimes the bad boys were really fucking bad, but once Daisy learned it she’d never forgotten. Wade would never hurt her physically, she knew that. This almost desperate need she felt to sink into his arms and not come up for air for hours, days even, warned her of another kind of hurt. It warned her of the hurt that waited for her at the end of the summer, when he went back on the road or back to Nashville and left her behind. Even knowing what was coming, she wanted him anyway. Touching him made her feel more alive than anything else ever had. Kissing him lit a fire in her that she knew not even heartache would extinguish. She wanted this man, now, tonight, no matter how much it hurt later on down the line.