The other end of the phone picked up. “Your mom.” “No, your mom.” “What’s up, Alex?” “How much does it cost to enrol at that kung fu school you’ve been going to, Drew?” “Hundred twenty-five a month, plus you gotta buy gear. But you can go almost every night of the week if you want. Why, you finally thinking of going?” “Yeah.” That price would hurt. He could cover it for at least a couple months at the expense of the new computer he’d been saving for…but this was too important. “Good. What changed your mind?” “I, um…kinda got into a scuffle the other night while I was out alone and I realized what an incompetent ‘tard I am.” “You okay?” “Yeah, I’m fine. I just got a little shoved around, but they won’t be bothering me again. Close cal , though, y’know? Kind of thing that makes you think.” “Well , you know nobody turns into an instant bad ass overnight, right? I mean that takes years to get really good. If ever.” “I hear you. Gotta start sometime, though. What’s the address and when’s a good time to go by?” He jotted down the details, said thanks, and hung up. Then he turned back to the course schedule. Life had gone crazy, and would with al likelihood continue to do so. Lorelei may be bound to protect him, but he had no interest in hiding behind her. Moreover, he had no interest in her coming home one day to find him carved up and
stuffed in the refrigerator because he fil ed the role of “helpless love-interest.” * “You want to add another class to your load,” the heavyset counselor said without much interest. Her jaw was propped up on her hand with her elbow on the desk, looking down at the form in front of her. “Yes, ma’am.” “You want to take First Aid/CPR.” Alex nodded patiently at her thril ing demonstration of reading comprehension skill s. Then he realized she couldn’t see him anymore than he could see her eyes. Al he saw was her mop of ragged, curly black hair. “Yes, ma’am,” he said. “And you’ve already got a full class load. More than a full class load,” she noted. He wasn’t even entirely sure she was awake. Her eyes didn’t seem open, and besides the way her head bounced up and down slightly as she spoke, what with her jaw being held up by her hand and al , she hardly moved. “I fil ed out the petition form there. I swung extra units last year, too, and I kept my GPA up with that. Dean’s list. And it doesn’t conflict with my current schedule,” Alex explained in a helpful, polite tone. “Are you switching to a major that requires this class?” “Um. Not real y, no.” Thus far, Alex had taken only widely required courses because his major was still undeclared. As a kid, Alex dreamt of becoming a cop, but long discussions with several veteran cops on the topic of constantly dealing with human misery had turned him from that. He had toyed with the idea of law school once, but then Keating
& Rose made him think twice about the lawyer’s life. Most recently, the idea of being a high school teacher had some appeal, but Lorelei and the affect her presence in his life had on him and women around him kil ed that idea entirely. He wanted to avoid underage girls at al costs for his own good as well as theirs. “This represents a serious increase in your class load.” “I can handle it,” Alex nodded. “First Aid isn’t even a full -semester course.” Without moving anything but her right hand and arm, the counselor reached for a stamp, pushed its ugly, red “Denied” imprint onto his form, then held out the form. She didn’t look up. Stunned at her complete disregard, Alex took the form back—he didn’t even know why he needed it now—and wandered out of her cubicle. Back in the counseling lobby, Alex wondered what to do. That whole “meeting” had seemed incredibly rude. He wasn’t even sure why she saw him. Was that old crank trying to keep up some sort of stats on how many students she met with? Was there some other counselor who might actual y, perhaps, counsel him? Alex decided it was worth a shot. He got back into the queue of students waiting at the front counter of the counseling office. Predictably enough, the line wasn’t moving very fast. Alex kept his eye on the staffers behind the counter. Eventual y, he spotted a young Asian woman working on a computer at a “closed” window behind the counter. She was cute, too. After checking the time on his cel phone, he decided to go for broke. Alex left the line and approached her. “Hey, sorry to bother you,” he began, smiling softly and trying not to stare down the small opening in her mostly-modest shirt, “but can I just ask you a quick question?” “Sorry,” she said without looking up from her paperwork right away, “this window’s…ah…” she looked up at him, smiling back shyly. “Hi,” she said. “Hi,” he said. Holy shit, is this happening again? He wondered. Maybe it’l help? “Wow, you’ve got really pretty eyes.” “Oh, do I?” the woman blushed, and looked away. Then she shrugged and admitted, “Contacts.”
“That color really works for you,” Alex pressed on anyway, holding her gaze. “You’ve got good taste.” “Thank you.” “So, um…Ugh. Sorry to be al creepy like that, I totally apologize. Way inappropriate.” “Oh, no, it’s not creepy,” she said, still blushing and now pulling shyly on a lock of hair. “What can I do for you?” “Well , I just saw a counselor for a course change, and she didn’t even listen to me before stamping ‘denied’ on my form here.” Alex held up the form to show her. “Is there someone else I can see about that?” “Real y? Hm,” the girl frowned. She took the form from him and looked it over. “She didn’t even talk to you?” “Not so much. Didn’t even look at me.” “Huh,” the girl said. She glanced up at Alex, blushing again before she turned to her computer with the form in hand. Alex watched as she quickly cal ed up his student record and began making adjustments. “Let me see if I can help you with that,” she mumbled as she worked. Alex’s jaw dropped. Was she seriously going to—? “There you are,” she said quietly, “your course changes are approved. But, oh, darn,” she added as she promptly put his denied request form straight into the shredder, “I guess I must have misplaced your form somewhere. Oops. I’m such a dingbat,” she smiled. “Wow,” he breathed. “Did you want a print-out of your new schedule?” “Sure?”
“Not a problem,” she muttered again. “Lemme just make a note here. Done. Okay, here you go. Please let me know if you need anything at al . I’d be glad to help you.” His class schedule now bore the handwritten note: “Theresa. Cal me. 206-555-4689.” Alex stared at the note wistfully as he exited the counseling office. She was really cute. But did she seriously want him that badly, that quickly? Maybe not. He realized that it probably really was that easy to get away with such shenanigans while working in the counseling office. But to just throw it out there like that…was she looking for a fling? Something serious? “Hel o, Alex,” cal ed out a sweet, almost musical voice. He looked up, completely bewildered, and saw an angelic young blonde standing in front of him. She wore a white dress, equal parts innocence and whimsy. Sunlight broke through the overcast skies to shine down on the exact spot where she was standing, il uminating her beauty and her smile. “Rachel?” Alex blinked. Her face was a heart achingly lovely picture of warmth, and kindness, and al that was good… right up until it twisted in a disgusted scowl. “Oh good Lord,” she burst out loudly, “you stink of that cheap, nasty slut! ” Passersby turned their heads. Alex just stood there, mouth agape. “What kinda moron cheats on a babe like her?” someone muttered. “…Hel o, Rachel,” Alex managed once he got hold of his wits again. “How are you?” “I was fine until I started inhaling the stench of whore-vagina.” Alex became aware of the dozens of eyes on them and the mumblings of “jackass,” “loser,” and, “I never understand why hotties hook up with such douchebags.” He glanced around, then offered her his hand. “I’ve been really hoping to see you again. Can we go somewhere and talk?”
Rachel looked at his hand like he’d just pul ed it out of a toilet. “Go,” she waved, “I’l walk with you, just…go.” They wandered a moment until they found a bench to sit on. Alex shook his head, amazed at the way he reacted to her. He felt an instant emotional connection, one that was just as quickly thrown into chaos as it was formed. She looked to be his age, but he knew she had to be vastly older. Just looking at her made him long for her approval, her companionship, intimacy…and here she was, making an obvious point of sitting upwind of him. “I was so proud of you yesterday.” The disappointment in her voice was palpable. “I mean, even after al that had just happened, you got up and went to work, and I thought everything was well , but…ugh. Look at you. I’l bet every moment you’ve been home alone with her you’ve been putting your…” she waved her hand as if fighting for the right word, “penis into her, haven’t you?” He bit his tongue. “I’m glad to see that you’re okay,” Alex said, hoping to shift the subject for just a moment. “I really wanted to talk to you more before you left.” “Sure you did,” Rachel frowned. “Hey, I held out until last night!” Alex finally shot back. “She’s been wrapping people around her finger for like two thousand years. I’m a single nineteen-year-old guy. What did you think was gonna happen when you sent me home with her?” The angel inhaled sharply and looked away as if he’d slapped her. “I’m sorry,” Alex found himself pleading, “I’m so sorry. I don’t want to yel at you. It’s just…yes, I slept with her, alright?” He bowed his head. “I slept with her, and before I did I was really freaked out over what might happen. But now I don’t know why I should even feel bad about it except that…except that it makes you unhappy. I feel awful about that al of a sudden. And it’s not even like I really know you or owe you anything,” he mumbled. Silence fell between the two. They both looked down at the ground awkwardly. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” Rachel finally conceded with a small voice. “I expected you’d sleep with her at first. I just thought after yesterday that you must’ve told the bitch to keep her tramp snatch shut. I suppose it doesn’t do any real harm…even if you’re probably bound to do it again,” she ventured sul enly. Alex’s eyes widened a bit as he shrugged in admission. Rachel
just turned her head, nodded, and continued another long and uncomfortable moment of silence. “Why does it bother you?” he asked gently. The angel blew at a lock of hair that dangled over her face. “Because I know what she is and what she’s capable of, and you’re just a mortal. I just thought it was really cool that someone like you could spend a night with someone like her and shut her down.” “I didn’t sleep with her the first night.” Rachel shrugged. “That’s still pretty impressive, I guess,” she mumbled. “She said it’s not like Heaven looks down on sex if that’s al it is,” Alex muttered. “And you both told me the bond means she can’t lie to me.” “It’s not an issue for Heaven. Not if you aren’t hurting people or, well , betraying someone.” “Do you feel betrayed?” Alex asked. Her breath caught, and he looked at her with curiosity mixing into his reflexive feelings of contrition. Then his brow furrowed. She was an angel, after al . Lying probably wasn’t in Rachel’s skill set. Maybe being so direct was a little harsh on her. “Does that question make you uncomfortable?” “Yes,” she nodded. “This whole topic makes me uncomfortable.” “You don’t have to answer that. I’m sorry I asked. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Whatever’s going on between Lorelei and I is just weird. I think it’l always be weird. But I’ve told her and I’l tel you that I don’t want to hurt anybody. We’re just trying to get along when everything between us is bound to be weird.” “You haven’t hurt anybody,” Rachel almost whispered. “I guess what goes on between you and…her is just between you and her.” “I’m really glad to see you, Rachel,” Alex gently tried again.
She nodded. “It’s good to see you,” came her hesitant response. “Did you say you saw me go to work yesterday?” “Yes.” “And you’ve found me here. But you didn’t know about Lorelei and I until just now. Have you been watching me somehow?” Rachel nodded, her brow furrowed. “I can see you much of the time even when I’m far away, but not when you’re with… her.” There was less venom in her voice, but the topic was still tender. “I suspect it’s because I’m still weakened by the ritual and she’s got such an overpowering aura of skank that I can’t see through it.” He blinked. Everything about her was angelic–literal y–except for everything that came out of her mouth. “Is there anything you can do to recover?” Again, she nodded. “My strength returns slowly. The Hosts think that there’s a channel between us because of the ritual bond. If you do good, I’l get better.” Rachel looked him in the eye. “That little incident in your philosophy class this morning kind of helped. It was really nice of you to stand up to that dipshit to help your professor.” He blushed. “Just seemed like the thing to do. Seemed stupid before too long.” “You might’ve handled it better, but you stepped up. You can’t go looking for things like that on my account, though. It won’t make any difference if you’re just trying to help me. Donating a ton of money to charity or picking fights against jerks isn’t going to do me any good, so don’t try. Put the whole issue out of your head. You’re a good guy as it is, so it’l take time, but I’m sure eventually I’l get better. Just live your life, okay?” “By Hosts do you mean the other angels? I thought they were supposed to help you break free of the ritual?” “Freeing me might also free her, which would create complications,” Rachel shrugged. “I’m not sure if they even know how to do it anyway, though. When I spoke with my peers there was a distance. No harmony, no concord.”
“You said you were diminished. Wouldn’t that be part of the spel ?” She shook her head. “No. I felt like they were standoffish somehow. I’m used to being the unpopular kid nobody wants to sit with at lunch, but it’s worse now. I suspect they don’t know what to do and they’re afraid to admit it.” There was a hint of bitterness and hurt in her voice. Alex reached out to hold her hand, and this time she al owed it. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I think you’re wonderful.” Then, hoping a change of subjects might lighten the mood, he asked, “So you’ve been watching me?” “Yes. I’ve been appointed your new guardian angel, for whatever I’m worth as such.” “Wow. That’s nice. Most people don’t get to meet theirs.” As he watched her face, he grew a touch suspicious. “Does everyone have one?” “More or less, yes. It’s not a one-to-one ratio, though. There are way more people who need guardians than there are guardians to go around, so protection isn’t constant. Protection can be lost, too. Mostly for going through life as a giant cockbag, but there are other reasons.” “But you’re my new one? Who was my guardian angel before?” “His name is Donald. He’s…kind of a pussy. He quit.” “He quit?!” “Abandoned his post. Chickened out. Buggered off.” “When did that happen?” Rachel struck the ground and looked up into Alex’s eyes, struggling to keep her voice even despite her open bitterness. “Right when you decided to face mortals capable of capturing an angel. He fol owed you into that chapel, saw a fell ow angel bound, tortured and facing rape and enslavement, and promptly ran like a bitch.”