Good Curses Evil (7 page)

“Jez, why don't you fly up and have a look around? At least you can be
some
use to us as a bat.”

“Hey! I can't help it, okay? When I get nervous I just, just …”

“Abandon people?”

“No!” she shouted. “Oh, forget it!”

She flew up above the forest, but even from above, the trees crowded in so close that Jezebel couldn't see the road anywhere.

The afternoon had turned to evening. The forest deepened to a cool, velvety purple. The second day of my Plot was quickly slipping away, and now I'd lost the road. We decided to stop for a bite to eat before moving on. Cappy found a dead rabbit and was munching it—fur, bones, and all. Jezebel and I ate from the provisions she'd packed. I think she could tell I was a little depressed, because she offered me a bite of her chocolate.

We got a fire going, then Jez and I took turns pulling out sprite arrows from each other's skin like splinters.

“Are you still mad?” she asked as she plucked one from my neck.

“Ouch! Mad? About what?” I asked.

“I don't mean to, you know, transform all the time. It just … happens. When I get anxious.”

“Oh.”

Fighting with Jez was fun, but for some reason talking seriously to her made
me
anxious.

“I'm not mad. I just can't believe we lost the road. If only we had some way to—wait a minute!”

I rummaged in my pack and pulled out my dad's crystal ball. Jez scooted in for a closer look. Our hands touched the glassy surface at the same time. I expected her to shy away, maybe flutter her eyelashes at me, but who was I kidding? This was Jez. After a tiny moment of awkwardness, she slapped my hand and took the crystal ball from me.

“Let me do it this time,” she said, closing her eyes and running her hands over the sleek surface. “Show us the road.”

A moment later, a familiar red glow lit up the ball. Cappy even stopped munching his rabbit to watch. His eyes got all big like he was being hypnotized.

“Ooooh, purdy!”

An image formed inside the ball of a dark road surrounded by trees.

“Well, that's really helpful,” I said. “Nice work, Jez. It showed us the road all right. Now if we only knew HOW TO GET THERE!”

The crystal went stubbornly dark.

“Oh, like you could do any better! Anyway, don't be such a baby. We'll find the road again. There's no way I'm going to tell my dad I failed my first Plot,” she said.

“Me neither,” I said.

Cappy was no help at all. He had no idea where anything was.

“But you live here!” I said to him, exasperated.

Cappy just smiled stupidly until a moth flew past. He hopped up and down, chasing it around the forest. But when he finally caught it, he smashed it in his clumsy, clawed hands. He cried for almost an hour.

“Poor flutterby!” he moaned from a rock, where he sat with his dog head in his claws.

“I wonder how Wolf Junior is doing,” I said to Jez.

“Doggy?” Cappy asked, perking with interest.

“Yeah, Cappy. He's a doggy. You'll get to meet Wolf later, okay? If we ever get out of here. We're lost, Jez.”

“I know,” she answered. “But there has to be some way …”

“There isn't!” I yelled.

Cappy's bawling and Jez's unrelenting determination were getting on my nerves. I only had five days left to steal a baby, kidnap a princess, and overthrow a kingdom … and I was stuck in the forest with an optimistic vampire and a crybaby henchman.

I'd pretty much given up hope, when something strange happened.

“Did you hear that?” Jez said. Even Cappy stopped crying to listen.

“It sounded like Wolf. Maybe we're not lost!” I said. “Wolf! Where are you?”

From far away we heard the voice again shouting what might have been our names.

“He's calling us!” Jez said. “Wolf! Over here!”

Quickly, Jez became a bat and flew in the direction of the voice. I put out our fire—except for one branch, which I used as a torch—and ran after her. Cappy trudged behind.

For a moment, I thought we'd lost track of Wolf's voice. Then we heard it again a little farther away. Once again, we ran after it only to come up empty.

“Where did he go?” I asked, searching around frantically.

All I could see were trees and thick undergrowth in all directions. Then I heard the voice again. This time, Wolf was calling from our left. I ran toward the sound, shouting Wolf's name. Instead of getting closer, though, the voice stayed just beyond our reach.

Jez had transformed back into a girl and Cappy had finally caught up with us, when we all stumbled through a thick growth of brambles and straight into what seemed like an enormous patch of soft moss. The moonlight broke through the canopy and turned the moss into an eerie misty green.

“Ooooh,” Cappy said. “Pretty greeny.”

We stepped into the mossy clearing just as a hailstorm of tiny arrows rained down on us from all directions. I tried to duck behind Cappy and realized I couldn't move my feet.

“Cappy stuck!” the capcaun cried anxiously.

“I'm stuck too!” Jez said in alarm. “And I can't transform!”

My feet sank beneath the surface of the moss, and I realized what had happened. Somehow the sprites had imitated Wolf's voice and lured us into a trap.

“Rune! What do we do?” Jez asked, trying to pull her legs free. She only sank faster.

“Stop struggling! It's a Magic Marsh!” I said. “We have to think.” A Magic Marsh is like quicksand, only it keeps a person from using magic to escape.

The barrage of mini arrows stopped as the little sprite chief stepped into the moonlight with his followers. He pointed at me, then Jez, then Cappy. Then he made a fist and pounded it into his other hand.

“Yeah, I get it,” I said irritably to the little sprite. He pointed and laughed. The others all joined in.

“Jerks!” I yelled.

Villains were not supposed to fall into lame traps. They were supposed to
make
the traps. Wolf Junior's dad is the expert on this subject. He wrote
Grandma's House: What I'd Do Differently
after the whole Red Riding Hood debacle.

I tried desperately to think of a plan as we sank deeper and deeper into the Magic Marsh. The marsh quickly swallowed us up to our waists, and every few seconds, one of the sprites would release an arrow at us just for fun. One stuck in Jez's nose, which really ticked her off. She hissed and tried to grab the sprites, but they remained just out of reach.

A moment later, an enormous bubble erupted from beneath the surface of the marsh. Green moss arced upward as the stinking air escaped.

“Gross, Cappy,” I said. He looked at me for a moment, uncomprehending.

“Cappy no toot,” he said finally. I raised my eyebrow at Jez.

“It wasn't me!” she huffed.

Suddenly, we started sinking ten times faster than before. My makeshift torch went out. In no time, we were up to our shoulders in foul, mucky marsh.

“Oh, no!” Jez yelled.

“It must've been an air pocket holding us up,” I said.

I racked my brain to think of a way to save us, but I couldn't come up with anything.

On the shore, the little chieftain and his gang stopped their twittering laughter. They all crossed their arms over their chests and narrowed their eyes at us. Then a slow, malicious smirk spread across the chief's face. They weren't just playing. We were doomed.

“Rune, what do we do?” Jezebel asked. I could hear the fear in her voice.

“I don't know,” I said.

“Rune,” Jez said after a moment.

“Yeah?”

“If this is really the end, then I just want to tell you— Hey!”

Out of the woods, a blinding light flashed. I squinted, and when my vision cleared I saw three beautiful flying creatures. They weren't much bigger than the sprites, but they couldn't have looked more different. Where the sprites seemed earthy and crude, the flying ladies were creatures of the air, lovely and refined—like royalty.

“Help!” I shouted to them. It was our last hope.

At the sight of the beautiful fairylike women, the sprites fell on their faces and groveled. The lady in front held a little stick that glowed at the tip. She reminded me of a white rose. As she raised her magic wand, the sprite chieftain floated up into the air in front of her.

“Gobledeegrigglebee?” she said to him in sprite-gibberish.

He nodded. Then she pointed at us, and he nodded again. Finally, she shook her head at him as if she were very disappointed. He burst into tears.

“Oh, Tibix!” one of the flying ladies said.

“What have you done now?” asked another.

The fairies flew in a little circle around the floating sprite chieftain and continued to interrogate him in the weird gibberish-talk.

All this I watched in silence. I couldn't speak if I wanted to, because my lips had just sunk beneath the mossy surface of the Magic Marsh. My eyes darted to Jez and Cappy, who weren't faring much better. Jez's nose was just dipping into the moss while Cappy had tilted his head back so that his face seemed to be resting on the lake like a floating dinner plate.

This was it. I was going to die. And what was worse … I was going to die without completing my Plot. Some people might think I had my priorities a little backward, but if they'd been trained as a villain from the time they were two years old, they would've felt exactly the same.

I contemplated the look on Chad's freckled, bespectacled face when he found out I'd been beaten by a bunch of three-inch-tall pixies. I sucked a desperate last breath into my nostrils before my head sank under.

 

CHAPTER SEVEN

Grand Theft Baby

I'd been under precisely twelve seconds when my head miraculously emerged from the marsh. At first I thought another bubble had risen up to carry me to the surface for one final, taunting breath before plunging me back under the muck. But I didn't go back under. I rose up and up and up. I stared wide eyed at Jez and Cappy, who were also rising out of the marsh. In seconds, we were floating over the surface and onto solid ground.

“We're alive!” Jez said, throwing her soggy arms around me. I smiled with relief.

“Hey, what were you saying before?” I asked.

“Uh …,” Jez said, quickly pulling away and pointing.

I looked up to find the three glowing ladies smiling at us. Better yet, the sprite chief was
bowing
to us. He had taken off his crown and held it to his chest like a hat. Then he said something in gibberish, which the glowing white rose lady translated.

“Tibix apologizes for waylaying you and your friends,” she said. Her voice sounded like three-part harmony. At first, I thought the other ladies were speaking too, but their mouths didn't move.

“Uh, thanks. I guess,” I said to the little chief.

I could tell
Tibix
would've preferred to let us drown. When he thought the flying lady wasn't looking, he stuck his tongue out at me. Then he yelped as she zapped him with her wand.

“Quit that,” she said sternly to the little chieftain. “You may go, Tibix.”

The chieftain didn't need to be told twice. In the time it took me to blink, Tibix and his sprites had melted into the darkling forest. Jez, Cappy, and I were left alone with the three glowing ladies.

Now that I wasn't about to die, I had time to study their features. The white rose lady's hair was long and white, but her face was both young and wise. She wore white petals around her waist that flowed into a gown. On her head was a crown.

The other two fairylike women resembled her, but the one to the right had golden hair and reminded me of a dandelion or maybe a daisy. As a villain I don't really know that much about flowers.

The lady on the left had dark skin, coppery hair, and a bright orange dress. I think it was made from a poppy. (Okay, I definitely knew too much about flowers. I made a mental note never to mention this knowledge out loud. It would completely ruin my villainous reputation.)

“Come with us,” the white rose lady said in her harmonic voice. “We'll find you shelter, clothes, whatever you need, children.”

All seemed well until Cappy wiped the muck from his dog face. The flying ladies took one look at him and flew backward, frowning at us.

“Not that one, sister!” the daisy lady said.

“He's a capcaun!” the poppy lady added.

The white rose lady seemed to scrutinize us very closely. I sensed that if she found out we were villains, we might be in trouble. I hoped Jez would keep her teeth hidden and refrain from turning into a bat. Our lives might depend on it.

“He's with us!” I said. “His name is Cappy. He's very gentle. Really. He was … uh … helping us get to the village of Ieri.”

“He is your guide?” the rose lady asked. I could tell she wasn't buying it.

“Sort of,” I answered. “We found him being tortured by those sprite creatures, and we saved him. He's trying to repay the favor.” This was almost true.

“Pretty flutterbies!” Cappy said, smiling at the flying ladies. He stepped forward as if to grab one of them, but I held him back with one hand and whispered, “Not now, Cappy.”

The flying ladies took a moment to confer as they hovered in the air. Then the white rose lady said, “We will take you to the village. We have business there this night. Follow us.”

I couldn't believe our luck. We fell in line behind the ladies, who illuminated the forest in front of us with their soft glow. Under my breath I asked Jezebel, “Are they fairies?”

“Pretty much. They're called the Zâne,” she whispered. “They're known for bestowing gifts on the good … especially children. They sometimes bless babies with unique powers. But they also punish evil, sometimes severely, so watch your step. That's why they didn't like Cappy.”

“He's not evil,” I said (rather regretfully, actually).

“He's an exception to the rule, Rune. Most capcauns are known for being destructive and malevolent.”

At that moment, Cappy was picking his big doggy nose. Well, there are always exceptions to the rule, I guess. Who was I to judge? I mean, after all, most of the villains at Master Dreadthorn's School for Wayward Villains had, at some point, behaved in very un-villain-ish ways—like vampires drinking cocoa and big bad wolves rescuing drowning kids.

“Wait,” I whispered. “You said they bless babies?”

“Yeah, why? Oh!” Jez said, comprehending.

“Let's keep our eyes open. For now, we'll just play the part of the poor lost kids.”

I smiled as Jez batted her eyes innocently. She was pretty good at playing a poor lost kid.

The Zâne led us to a series of caves where we were each taken aside by one of the three fairies. The poppy took Jezebel down one of the caves while I followed the white rose lady. The daisy got stuck with Cappy, but she didn't seem to mind. She smiled and flew around his head saying, “Follow the pretty flutterby, Cappy!” He lumbered after her, laughing deeply.

I followed the rose fairy down a cave tunnel and into a dazzling grotto. Ivy and vines clung to the walls, reaching up toward the moonlit surface of the forest floor. For a split second, I thought I saw a flash of green in the willow strands, but when I blinked it was gone. I decided it must've been a shimmer of moonlight.

Below, the cave floor opened into a deep pool of water. I would've said it was the most beautiful place I'd ever seen … but villains don't say things like that.

“Here is one of our sacred pools,” the rose fairy said. “You may bathe and rest. When you are clean, you may wrap yourself in the lambs' leaves while we wash your garments.”

She pointed to a plant growing near the edge of the pool. Its leaves were bigger than my whole body. I didn't particularly relish the idea of wearing nothing but leaves, but I didn't really have a choice, since my clothes were a stinking, wet, mucky mess. The rose lady left me alone to bathe.

In minutes, I'd submerged myself in the warm water, allowing my worries to wash away with the grime. As a general rule, villains do
not
enjoy steamy, scented baths in beautiful fairy grottos. However, I was willing to let it slide—this time.

At some point, the rose fairy must have come back for my clothes, because when I came out of my reverie, they were gone. I floated over to the gigantic lambs' leaves and reached out to pluck one. They were incredibly soft. In a few moments, I'd covered myself with the lambs' leaf, using it as a makeshift towel. I was really starting to worry about how un-villainlike I must look at the moment, but I assured myself this was all part of the plan. We had to look like innocent kids if we wanted the Zâne's help, right?

I made my way back out of the cave and into a clearing where Cappy waited with the fairy ladies. A split second later, Jez emerged also wearing a lambs' leaf towel.

“Whoa,” I said. Usually Jez was head-to-toe black with a cloak over it all.

“Aren't these
sooooo
soft?” she asked, twirling like she was wearing a new dress or something.

“Uh-huh,” I said, trying to look anywhere but at Jez and her skimpy veggie-towel. This resulted in me stubbing my toe, tripping over a rock, and walking face-first into a tree.

“Walk much?” Jez asked, tossing her hair over her shoulder and gliding past me.

Girls.

We sat next to a fire that flickered with strange blue flames. The Zâne brought us bowls of berries and apples. Cappy and Jez began munching happily.

“Your clothing is already nearly dry,” the rose lady said. I could see our cloaks (and Cappy's cut-offs) hanging on a tree branch near the fire. “When you've eaten and rested, we will guide you to the village.”

“Thank you,” I said. (What? Villains can't have manners?)

I joined Jezebel and Cappy. In a few minutes, we had finished the fruit and were dozing near the fire. It seemed I'd only closed my eyes for a moment when the rose fairy was shaking me.

“Midnight approaches. Wake up, child,” she said.

“Just a few more minutes,” I whined, rolling over.

“I'm afraid not. The time draws near when our presence is needed in the village.”

I roused myself from sleep, wondering what kind of business the three fairies would have in Ieri. Could they be blessing a baby? Could I possibly get
that
lucky? I didn't dare to hope, but secretly began to calculate what I would do if we found a baby there.

Soon, Jez, Cappy, and I were clothed once more and following the Zâne through the forest. It was hard to tell how much time had gone by; aside from the glow of the Zâne, the forest was as black as Master Dreadthorn's onyx desk. Thinking of the desk made me think of the crystal ball. Thinking of the ball made me think of Chad, and thinking of Chad made me worry. What if he was the one who'd sent the sprites after us? Or maybe the Zâne were under his command. Maybe they were leading us to Muma Padurii's gingerbread house.

But I had nothing to fear. In less than thirty minutes, we entered a clearing that turned out to be the road. Overhead, shredded clouds ghosted across the moon.

It was nearing two o'clock in the morning when I noticed another light.

“Do you see that?” Jez asked. “I think it's the village.”

It started as only a mild glow far ahead of us. Then I realized the trees were getting smaller and fewer. We were coming out of the Forgotten Forest.

“Finally,” I said, relieved that the forest—and its numerous deathtraps—would soon be left behind.

We emerged completely from the shadows of the trees and into open land just as a light rain began. The hill we were standing on sloped gently downward, into a valley. The village of Ieri was just below us at the foot of the hill twinkling with firelight.

I turned around to see the Forgotten Forest looming behind us. For a moment, I was sure I saw a small shadow move in the trees. Could Chad have sent someone—or something—to spy on me? No, I was being paranoid; it was probably just an owl or something.

“Our magic will not last long outside of the forest,” the white rose lady said. “We can only stay in the village as long as darkness lasts.”

“That's okay,” I said. “We can take it from here.”

“Oh?” she asked. “And what are your plans for Cappy? He will surely be shunned by the villagers. I fear for your safety. Perhaps he should remain in the forest?”

“No!” I said, a little more severely than I meant. “I mean, we've grown … uh … fond of Cappy—right, Jez?” I jabbed Jezebel with my elbow.

“Huh? Oh! Yes, very fond of him and … uh … he doesn't have any friends or family in the forest anyway,” Jez said. I had no idea if this was true, but Cappy didn't argue. He just smiled his big, dumb smile.

“And we have a friend we're meeting in the village square,” I added.

“Then perhaps we can accompany you until the time for our departure arrives?” the white rose fairy said.

I couldn't think of a good argument. I especially didn't want to insult the Zâne's hospitality after all the help they'd given us. But what would happen when they saw we were meeting Wolf in the village? Surely they'd know we were villains, and then what?

We didn't have a choice. The Zâne were already leading the way down the rain-soaked hill into the village. Jez, Cappy, and I followed behind them.

When we neared the town, we could see it had an enormous wall built all around it. The gates had been shut for the night, and beyond the gate we could hear the sound of guards playing a dice game.

“Now what?” Jez asked as we stood shivering in the wet cold. “That wall must be thirty feet high!”

Jez and I exchanged glances, and I knew what she was thinking. If the fairies had just stayed behind in the forest, Jez could transform into a bat and fly over, unlocking the gate from within. But as it turned out, she didn't have to.

“I think we can manage,” the poppy fairy said.

She flew over the gate toward the guardhouse and disappeared. In a matter of minutes, she returned announcing the coast was clear. We pushed through the now unlocked gate and found the guards sleeping soundly in the guardhouse with their arms crossed over their chests and big smiles on their faces.

We made our way to the village square without any trouble. It seemed the entire village was asleep, and anyone who did happen to be up late suddenly got very sleepy as we approached, and they rushed into their houses, closing their doors and turning off their lights.

The village square was lit all around by torches. They had burned low in the rain but still gave off a faint glow. In the middle of the square was a well—the main water supply for the village. I knew in the morning it would be crowded with townspeople, but for now the place was deserted. I expected to find Wolf sitting there, waiting for us, but he wasn't.

I remembered the Zâne had said Cappy might not be welcomed in the village because of what he was. I thought maybe Wolf had had the same idea. Perhaps he had been hiding nearby waiting for us to show up. We made our way to the well and waited. And waited. And waited. No Wolf. Finally, the Zâne grew restless.

“Perhaps your friend mistook the time?” the daisy lady said.

“Maybe,” I answered, exchanging a look with Jezebel.

“I'm afraid we can't wait with you much longer,” said the white rose lady. “We have urgent business, and I sense the time is near at hand.”

“Um, if you don't mind my asking … what exactly
is
your business here in town tonight?” Jez asked. It was the question I had wanted to ask but was too chicken … I mean, too
cautious
to ask myself.