Gone By (23 page)

I paused at my words for a while and passed a pleasant smile to her.

“Someone special has changed me” I said softly to Anannya.

“Who’s that special may I know” she inhaled her breath deep.

“Someone like you”.

“Why like me”.

“To be more precise, she’s like my dream”.

“Oh! Really” she chuckled.

“ Yeah!..She do exist in my dream”.

“Someday I would love to meet her” Anannya grinned.

“Surely...for that you need to come into my dream”.

She smiled and patted on my head like she always used to do. Our conversation ended up very shortly. Lastly we both parted away. I never thought the loss of love for her. It was just my instinct that constantly warned me to stay safe, cause love happened to be fragile that can bring sufferings if it’s over rated. I was compel to take up new things in life for the betterment of future. Anannya, was not only the part of my dream. In fact the greater part depended on her, such was the truth that I could feel for her. There was still a place somewhere in my heart that beats for her. But then there appeared a reason before my eyes why I should conceal it down. It was all for the love of her. I wanted to see her happy and satisfied. I wanted to see her smile and perhaps I was correct on my path. I could see her more charming with Avick. And that self satisfied me about her. If someday I become eligible for her then I would not hesitate to ask for her hand to make her wear a wedding rind. That strong faith and trust boosted me.

Fourteen

..................

The day reached its noon. The heat of the sun began to rise in higher degree. I could feel the velocity of our bus  gradually rising at greater rate. The lady beside fell asleep. And I was the only one in the whole bus with a busy schedule. I took a chance to stop my pen for a while. The diary laid closed on my lap. I could suddenly think about Isha. Yes! Indeed I was missing her. The place beside me felt empty even though the lady occupied it. The absence of Isha cascaded the emptiness all around. I thought of dialling her number. But something drifted me away from reading her number out on my mobile screen. I had many old contacts on my list. Contacts which were even invalid were kept as record on my number list. As I read down the contact list a name suddenly rolled out. I felt happy. A silent and brief smile flashed on my face. I read out the number on my mind with deep connection. And I knew it was the contact number of Anannya, which was invalid. I pressed the number and from the other end it shrilled only one voice “This number is invalid please check the number”. It was quiet an old number now. But I didn’t delete as to serve me as my memory. I smiled at myself.

“How mad am I for her” I whispered softly.

The lady gently opened her sleeping eyes and looked at me for seconds. She made her hair proper and made herself comfortable again.

“So, completed with your story” she asked. Her face glimpsed with an interest.

“It’s yet to be complete” I replied. She grinned and passed a frozen smile at me.

“Can I have a look at your diary” her voice sounded kind.

I handed her the diary which was on my lap. She began to flip back the pages from the beginning. “So, you’ll be reading now” I asked her.

“I thought so...If you don’t mind”.

I nodded my head with decency. She began to read the first page.

“It’s a touchy start” she said softly after completing the first page.

“I know” I said.

She stressed her interest further more into the next page. I could feel that zest rising and curiosity that generated within her with every single page she began to read. At some points her eyes turned pale and shuddered. In some lines she smiled with the touch of words that fluently involved her.

“It gets interesting with every lines I read” she said softly turning a page.

“Is it so”.

“Yeah! I Just don’t know you love her so much” she grinned.

“Yeah, I do”.

She proceeded to read further. I glanced outside of the window. We were heading fast. Our bus pulled it’s accelerator at its extreme height. The day began to grow older with the rise of sunrays getting brighter. I searched down the contact list again in my phone. Thought of calling to Isha. The lady beside lost under the world of my diary. I searched for Isha’s number. Suddenly a jerk of sound screamed from my mobile. I glanced at the screen to look for. Coincidently, it was a call from Isha. I couldn’t wait to hear her voice.

“Hey!” said I.

“How far have you been” she asked.

“I don’t know somewhere on the midway” I chuckled.

“Hey! I’m missing you damn much” her voice slightly shook off.

“Me too”.

The lady beside snuggled closer to me.

“Who’s sitting beside you” Isha inquired.

“Well, I got a good reader of my diary, indeed my book”.

“Wow! That’s great...definitely she must be a female..huh!!!” she grinned.

“Yeah! You’re right she’s a married lady. You don’t need to hackled around with your doubts in mind” I grinned.

Isha laughed “Alright I’m going off now, will talk you later...bye” Isha hanged her phone off.

“I just can’t believe it’s wonderful” the lady said.

“Oh! Thanks”.

“I can understand how you portrait your love for Anannya” she said softly.

She flipped one more page glancing at my innocent eyes. I turned to look at her face for seconds. She was flaring out with the crest of interest on my writing. I was seated idle on my seat with nothing on my hand. The only thing I could fiddle around was my cell phone. With every turn of the wheel my every thought began to whirl around in my head. I was waiting when she would hand me back my written pages. She was so much engrossed into it that interrupting her would be a crime. But I was in great need of that to add my incomplete written words on the diary. I had to amount some courage to ask back the diary.

“Excuse me Ma’am, Can I have my diary for now” I politely asked her.

“Oh! Sure...you can” she said with cheer on her eyes.

She handed me the diary. I clipped it from her hand.

“It’s going to be a fantastic story” she added her voice.

“Thanks..I hope so it does”.

“It will be.. I’ll pray that it does happen the best of all” she smiled.

“I just want to write it. No intentions of making it a great hit” I said softly.

“It’s already a hit. You can’t even imagine the touch of your emotions you put up” her voice seized my ears.

I perpetually glanced at her. My eyes shrunk deprived of light. I managed to gleam back focusing on my written words.

“You can add to your words” she solemnly said rubbing her hand softly on my shoulder.

I nodded on her agreement. My thoughts began to propel me. She plunged out a magazine from her hand bag to add to her leisure journey. She smiled looking at me. She gestured raising her eye brow pointing me at my diary. I slowly smiled out. She began to flip a page to read out from the magazine. I held my pen stiff through my fingers. I knew our bus was running at the speed of eighty kilometres per hour. I was completely with shades of reminiscing memories. The pictures of past rolled before my eyes. I began to think about Anannya. Indeed, I was under the effect of so called the day dreamer. My forefinger fiddled on my chin.

“What’s wrong you’re not writing” she said suddenly.

My eyes jerked out in sudden shock. My heart slightly trembled and shook.

“Oh! I was actually thinking of what to put up next” my voice shook.

She nodded her head and resumed back to her magazine.  I gasped, holding my pen hard and turned the next fresh page to fill up. A thought pondered on my mind searching for the reason why did I left Isha all alone. Was it the reason for her true confession of love on me or was it the fear that led me backward. I knew I couldn’t fall in love with her but leaving her all alone such way was not a valid act of respect which I violated. It began to crackle my nerves with the rise of guiltiness searching on my mind. I looked at the blank page and gazed a while before I began writing.

“Should I call back Isha and ask her sorry again” my inner conscious spoke out.

But then my heart wanted to let it go as it believed there was nothing wrong between both of us. Moreover, I would come back to see her once again before she would leave for Houston. I dropped my pen on the white paper and began to let it flow with its blue ink marking on the white sheet.

The year have passed now. Finally, I was upgraded to standard 12
th
. So was Anannya with the same zest like everyone on each one’s face of passing out their former class standard. That year, I pre planned not to indulge myself in any sort of mischievous tragic incidents. I was completely revolutionized with new rays of hope and aim. I began everyday with new dreams floating on my eyes. One day Anannya came up and said to me “You have become very quiet these days...what’s wrong”.

“I’m chasing my dreams” I said.

“What dreams” she asked softly.

We were seated outside on a bench, some birds were chirping loud high up into the sky. Anannya just came by and sat beside me.

“A dream I had been waiting for”.

“Nice” she nodded her head.

“Just look up in the sky once” I asked her to do so.

She looked up raising her neck high, her eyes blinked thoroughly in every nanoseconds.

“Do you see those birds flying high” I said softly.

“Yeah..I can hear them making some noise” said Anannya.

“No..They are singing. It’s not noise” I said.

“How did you know that” her voice sounded innocent.

“Cause I could feel the noise they were chirping out”.

She stopped gazing at the distant sky and glanced at me.

“Why are you sitting alone here” she asked calmly.

“I was thinking about someone”.

“Really...Who” her tone enthused up.

“I was thinking, how would I be after twenty years”.

“Where’s that someone”.

“That someone would be me after twenty years”.

“I was thinking it was about a girl” Anannya grinned.

“No...it’s not about a girl. It’s about me and that’s the dream”.

“Would you discuss your dream to me” she said.

“What you want to know about my dream” my feeble voice spoke out.

“Anything that you want to share”.

“Well, dreams are meant to be fulfilled not to share” I smiled.

“ Ok..You mean to say..each one of us has individual dreams to fulfil” said Anannya.

“Of course...you do have certain dreams to fulfil”.

She nodded her head and looked up into the birds again that were flying up.

“That’s the reason for your quietness” she squirmed.

“I believe so” I added my voice softly.

“Won’t you be attending the class today” she asked.

“ Nature is my teacher, nature teaches me much better than a scholar speaks before hundred students”.

“I see that..you have grown so mature enough to know the truth of life” she smiled looking at me. “Yes!!! Indeed...I needed a change”.

She peeked her eyes sharp at me. The air around swung, flowing swiftly through the narrow passages of branches of trees. I could see the zigzag movements of the leaves.

“You love nature very much” Anannya’s voice hissed softly.

“Yeah! I do”.

“Well..I’m impressed by that”. She keenly looked at my face.

I flashed a slow smile on my face. “You and I are totally different” her voice hurled.

I turned to look at her, my lips were pressed together and my eyes were blinking at faster rate. “We live by our own philosophy. We succeeds by our own philosophy..so it’s obvious we will have different point of view towards life”.

Anannya contacted her eyes sharply at me. Her face churned into complex emotions. I could follow her breath, she was riveted by my side. Her hair flew like a streams of invisible lines. Her blink of an eye slowed down and the gaze came strong from her side. Yes, of course we haven’t seen each other for a month. Our whole school was at holiday after the final promotion exam we had. So now we followed by the new opening of the year with new session and one standard ahead.

“I don’t know I got to know something from you that touched my inner conscious today” her voice spoke in deep concern.

My eyes pointed my rays towards a side where I could see flock of birds landed down to collect grains.