God's Gift of Love (5 page)

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Amish Love in Faith’s Creek
- 8 Book Box set, includes Mary’s Faith, Hanna’s Journey Home, Katie’s Amish Choice, Amish Baby Hope, Amish Valentine, Amish True Love, Amish Denial and A Prayer to Daniel.
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Amish Lost Love Box Set
– Amish Lost Love, Amish Hope and Faith, A Time for Faith – the Empty Cradle and A Prayer for Daniel
http://bit.ly/1PV2iMv

Amish Healer in Faith’s Creek 4 Book Set
- Amish Healer, Losing Faith, The Gift, and The Deacon’s Son
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Amish Faith and Love
– 3 Short Amish Romances
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Amish in Faith’s Creek
  - Amish Secret Journal, The Amish and the Englischer, Amish Valentine, Amish True Lov
e
http://bit.ly/1Q0iMBZ

Behold, children, are a heritage from the Lord, offspring, a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are children born in one's youth.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.

- Psalm 127:3-5

Chapter One

You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.

– Psalm 18:28

“It’s a girl,” Martha Byler said in her practical tone as she handed Anna the tiny pink wrapped bundle.

“A girl,” Anna repeated and joy replaced her exhaustion as she took hold of her baby for the very first time. Her hands were shaking, her breath still came in short, sharp, gasps, but the pain was less now. Still, as she held the delicate bundle, she knew it was all worthwhile. The worries, the pains, and the heartaches they had been through these last six years were forgotten as she clutched onto the blankets. This miracle of life was hers, her baby. Joy was like a physical force as it replaced the hopes and prayers that had been a constant in her life. No one had seen the desperation they felt, the despair at every hurdle, but here they were on the other side and everything they wanted was now theirs.

“
Denke Gott
” she whispered, as tears of elation welled up in her eyes.

The happiness this tiny bundle elicited was almost spiritual in its intensity. The pink blanket was warm and soft to the touch. Carefully she peeled away at the swaddling to peer at her baby, and despite her exhaustion, as she lifted her head from the pillow, she could almost see.

“Anna,” Samuel’s voice was gentle but insistent.

It seemed so far away and she wanted to ignore him. This was what they had been wanting, this was right. Pulling the blanket down just a little, she raised her head. More than anything she wanted to see, to look at her baby, after all this time. Her eyes opened wide in anticipation of that first look and she held her breath. At last she would meet their daughter.

A hand shook her shoulder and she jolted upwards and took her first glance. The blanket was empty, there was nothing there, and a black fear filled the room with darkness.

“Wake up, Sweetie,” Samuel whispered into her ear.

Anna opened her eyes with a start and the feeling of loss was intense. Where was her baby? She looked around the room and then felt the reassuring bump of her belly. It was just a dream. She was still five weeks before her due date.

“What is it?” she asked rubbing her eyes and bringing herself fully awake.

“Are you okay?” Samuel replied and he placed a hand on her head. It was so large it covered her face, as he gently checked her for fever.

“Just a dream,” she said holding his huge hand with her tiny one. She gave it a gentle squeeze for comfort. “It was so nice I didn’t want to wake.”

“Was it about the
boppli
?”

“
Jah
, I had her in my arms. I was just about to see her face when some oaf of a man woke me.”

Samuel laughed. “Soon my love, soon you will hold her… or him. Now I hate to wake you but it’s Abe, your
Daed
is asking for you.”

Anna was instantly awake. If he asked for her in the night, then it must be bad. “
Denke,
for waking me. Now you get some sleep, it will soon be morning and we have a busy day ahead.”

“I will stay here,” Samuel said his voice reassuring but gentle, “because he wanted to talk to you alone. But I will be awake in case you need me.”

Anna kissed him on the cheek and tugged his short beard. “You may have to give me a hand,” she said. The weight of her bump was making it difficult to get off the bed.

Samuel pulled her to her feet and into a hug. “I’m here if you need me,” he said.

Anna took a gas lamp and headed out of the bedroom and into the hall. Shadows chased behind her, but it was not those that stroked cold fingers down her spine. She knew that one day soon it would be his last and her heart wanted to break. “Please
Gott
let him see my baby born,” she asked, but she knew in her heart that it would not happen and this moment of joy was overshadowed with sadness. The doctor was amazed Abe had survived even this long.

She knocked gently on his door and stepped into the room. It was decorated in cream, with a wooden floor. On the bed was a faded brown quilt that had been made by her
Mamm
many years ago and was old and worn now. Anna wanted to replace it with one she made, but she knew it gave him comfort. It made him feel close to
Mamm
, even though they were apart.

“Anna,” he said his voice hoarse and breathy. “Come close girl.”

“
Jah, Daed
, how are you?”

“I am blessed,” he said.

Blessed
, she thought, and knew she should agree, but it was so hard. He was a shadow of the man she knew. His cheeks were like old leather, worn and wrinkled and sunken where the stuffing had compacted. Once beautiful blue eyes were opaque and looked so tired, yet there was a dreamy expression on his face and she wondered if it was the medication?

“How are you blessed,
Daed
?” she asked.

For a second the breath rattled in his chest and she thought that maybe he would cough. The cancer had taken a toll, but he bore it well. Only now towards the end, had he allowed heavy painkillers and then only to take away the worst of his pain. He wanted to face his God with a clear head, but it hurt her so to see him like this.

At last he managed to speak. “I have lived a full life and seen five children grow to become wonderful people. I have seen eleven
grosskinner
born and played with them so much that the memories will last me for eternity. Most of all I had the love of a
wunderbaar
woman for sixty whole years. These last three without her have been long and difficult.”

Anna dropped her eyes. Had she let him down?

“Now don’t you go feeling guilty. You have looked after me better than I could have imagined. You have given me a home and love and so much joy in such a dark time. You have been the best
dochder
a
mann
could ask for and I love you so much for all you have done. But your
Mamm
was my soul mate and without her it feels like part of me is missing. Like there is a thorn in my side that I just can’t reach, and I am ready to join her. I want your blessing to go to her, to go before my
Gott
.”

Tears streamed down Anna’s cheeks, but she fought back the sobs and screams that threatened to come with them. “I’m not ready
Daed
,” she said.

“I know, but it is time.” He reached out a frail hand and took hold of hers.

Anna felt the papery flesh of his fingers and she wanted to crush his hand in hers. She could not, it would hurt, so instead she patted it gently and sent her love and gratitude through her fingers.

“I have to tell you something before I go,” he said. “I am ashamed of this and sorry that I leave you with this burden.”

Anna looked up. What could he be ashamed of? It made no sense. “Do not worry
Daed
; there is nothing you need to be ashamed of.”

His eyes were weaker now and his grip on her fingers loosened. “Forgive me,” he said.

“Always, you are forgiven any sins…” Anna fought hard to control the break in her voice. “Surrender your will to
Gott
and you will journey to heaven. You will see
Mamm
again and be at peace.”

“That is what I needed to hear, now I am free to share my shame,” he said and then let out a long sigh.

Anna squeezed his hand afraid that he had gone and her own heart seemed to stop in sympathy. Her hands shook and tears ran down her face, but then she noticed him take a breath. Joy replaced despair and she leaned forward and listened to his chest: his breathing was steady, he was simply asleep. She left the room and walked into Samuel’s arms. He pulled her close.

“It is
Gott’
s will,” he whispered into her hair.

“You need to fetch the
familye
,” Anna said. “I do not think he has long.”

Samuel gave her a last hug and she watched him walk away, taking some of her strength with him. He would harness the horse and drive to all their kin spreading the news that Abe’s time was near. Samuel paused at the top of the stairs, but all she could see was the look in her
daed’s
eyes. It haunted her. Why would he be ashamed? “Samuel,” she called wanting to discuss this with her own soul mate… but she could not. If
Daed
had shame, he wanted to share it with her alone.

“
Jah
,” Samuel said turning.

“It is nothing. I just wanted to say I love you.” She stepped back into Abe’s room before she broke down and ran to him. There would be time for tears later but for now they were both needed. She sat quietly in the corner, trying to ignore the secret Abe said he kept, but it worried away at her mind like a dog at an old bone.

Find out what happens to Anna and Samuel in Amish Baby Hope
http://amzn.to/1P1WRLn