God In The Kitchen (31 page)

            I was rushing through the kitchen when Evan appeared. I barely saw him behind the boxes I had stacked up on the table. The top of his head swayed left and then right as he tried to see me around the mess.

            “How’s it going?” he asked as I caught a slight glimpse of his hair from the corner of my eye.

            “As if you don’t know,” I said, placing the heavy box I had in my hands on the counter so I could free my hands to move the boxes on the table enough so we could see one another.

            “You’re right,” he replied. “I know. I was there.”

            “It was a nice wedding,” I said, smiling and thinking of Maria and how much I was looking forward to our future together.

            “Ask and ye shall receive,” Evan said, a lopsided grin on his face.

            “You’re telling me!” I said happily, practically glowing with glee.

            “Is there anything else you want?” Evan asked. “To make your life complete?”

            I shrugged. “I don’t know, things are pretty good…” my father’s face flashed before my eyes and I thought about what I would say to him had I had the chance to talk to him one more time before he died. “I miss my dad,” I said, “but I know I will see him again someday.”

            “Funny you should mention him,” Evan said, leaning back in the chair. He probably would have asked about food but it was likely he already knew the cupboards and fridge were practically bare in the midst of the move. “I actually ran into him a while back.”

            “Ran into my dad?” I asked, incredulous that Evan would mention him in such a nonchalant manner. As if running into a deceased man was no big deal in his world. The more I thought about it, the more I figured perhaps it was not. “Care to explain?” I asked, anxious for him to do just that.

            “Your dad,” he said, stroking his chin and pantomiming a large beard, “he’s quite the character.”

            I nodded in agreement. It was the way anyone who had actually met him would have described him.

            “You know he only had one wish when he got to the so-called pearly gates?”

            I took a second to imagine those gates, shiny and bright, and wonder if they were indeed made out of pearl before I decided it was a silly thing to think about when Evan was clearly hinting at something my father had said.

            “He got a wish?” I asked.

            Evan chuckled. “Remember, I’m not a genie. But when people reach the other side, we often go through their life with them and ask them if they have any regrets or unfinished business. In fact, that’s why I’m here.”

            “My dad sent you?” I asked, my eyes widening. This whole time I had wondered why Evan had come in the first place and who he really was. Was it possible that my dad had been behind it?

            “We asked your dad if he had any concerns about leaving this world and moving on to the next. Let me be clear, a lot of times, people simply say no and they move on. The light up there is so bright and the feeling of peace is so prevalent that some people just walk in and don’t look back. They have a hard time feeling concern when they have that lying in front of them.”

            Surprisingly, I thought I understood. If they felt even more peace and serenity than I felt whenever Evan was around, I could see why they would leave whatever was behind them in this world there, in its place.

            “But your dad paused for quite some time and really thought about his answer. He said he knew that his wife and other son would be okay. They would have each other and their families. But he was concerned for you. He said he knew you were a good man and he was proud of you, but there was something fundamental missing from your life. He simply couldn’t move on until you found it.”

            “And that’s when you came here?” I asked, hungry for more details on what my dad had said and done.

            Evan tilted his head. “Have you found what you’ve been looking for?” he asked again.

            “I’m certainly happy with Maria,” I said as I thought. “And I learned quite a bit through the whole experience as well.

            “Like what?” Evan asked.

            “Like I need to rely on God more and trust His ways for my life above my own.”

            Evan snapped his fingers. “I think you have it,” he said with a smile. “Are you going to continue with that way of life? At least one more time?”

            I wondered what he meant by that statement, but I shook my head emphatically as I remembered the hurt I had caused myself by making my own decisions erratically without asking God for help. “Hopefully all of the time,” I said, “not just once.”

            “You’ll need that way of life,” he said, folding his hands on the table in front of him. “Especially for one particular purpose.”

            I blinked. He wasn’t going to elaborate. I knew it without even asking.

            “Is there anything you’d like me to tell your father if I happen to run into him again?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

            “How much time do you have?” I asked. “I have so much to say…” I looked down at the table and thought about all of the times he had made me laugh when I thought nothing in the world could. When I looked back up at Evan to ask for advice on how to phrase it all, Evan was no longer there. But my father was.

            It was my father, of that I was sure. But he was not the same man he once was. His beard was still prevalent, but it was shorter and not quite so white. He was thinner too and his eyes, which had always been kind and jovial, had the same glow Evan had on his face at all times.

            Had I not been in such shock, I would have thrown myself across the table at him. “Dad,” I whispered.

            “Hi, son,” he said, smiling at me and reaching across the table to touch my hands. His hands were much softer than they had been during his life and I was surprised at how warm they felt. “I know you love me,” he said, “there’s no need for you to say a word.”

            For once in my life, I stayed quiet, holding his hands and looking into his eyes.

            “When I was given the chance to come back into your life, I didn’t really have a choice. I had to make sure you were going to be okay. I wanted for you what I’ve had for so many years. With your mother…with God. It was all that mattered to my life.”

            Wait, did he say that he had been given a chance to come back? He must have meant just then, right?

            My dad suddenly smiled and nodded, as if he could read my mind just like Evan always seemed to be able to do. “It’s been me this whole time,” he said. “I go by Evan now and my new assignment is to work in other people’s lives. Helping them to find the right path for their life.”

            My mouth fell open. I now understood why I had always felt so comfortable with Evan. Like he was someone I had known my whole life. I HAD known him my whole life.

            “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier. I knew if I came to you in my old form, you wouldn’t be able to get past your shock at seeing me. As Evan, I was something different. Someone who might actually be able to help.”

            It wasn’t like me to remain silent for so long. I normally blurted out anything in my head, but there were so many things floating in my head that I didn’t know what to say first.

            “You don’t have to say anything,” my dad continued, “I understand. As we wrap up our time together, I just felt like you needed to know it was me. That all of these talks we’ve had…they’ve been between father and son. I thought that might complete your peace and give you reason for even more joy in your life.”

            He was certainly right. I was going to look back on this time as something really special. Even more so now that I knew the secret my father had been keeping. “Wait,” I said, finally pulling my thoughts together enough to find words. “Does this mean I won’t see you again?”

            “You don’t need me anymore,” he said and I wanted to protest, but he continued on too quickly. “You have God. You have Maria. You will have a family.”

            I still wanted to protest, but what he said made sense. I had the beginnings of everything I had ever wanted to have. With Maria, the future was bright and with God by our side, nothing could stop us from being happy for the duration of our life together.

            “There will be hard times,” he said with a sad smile. “You are going to have struggles soon. But there’s nothing you can’t handle with God and with that woman God has chosen for you.”

            I nodded, feeling the end nearing as tears built up in my eyes.

            “I have always loved you, son, and I will never stop. I will see you again soon. Not too soon. But soon enough. Until then, look to God and you will always find me there.”

            Before I could say another word…before I could tell him how much he meant to me in my life and especially in these past few months, he was gone. I didn’t lament not getting to tell him my thoughts. I knew that he already knew. And I had peace.

            When Maria returned several hours later to help me load the U-haul truck we had rented, I was still sitting at the table, staring at the chair across from me. I couldn’t believe that Evan wasn’t going to appear to me again. And I really couldn’t believe that Evan had been my father all along. It all made sense, but it was still hard to wrap my head around it.

            I described the afternoon’s events to her and she looked as incredulous as I felt. I was comforted once again by the fact that she didn’t question my story, no matter how unbelievable it sounded. She just took what I said at face value and accepted it.

            “So, in a way, your father brought us together,” she said with a smile.

            “He always did like you,” I said, remembering how he had told me she was a keeper time after time in high school.

            Maria’s dimple deepened as she put her head on my shoulder, scooting her chair closer to mine at the table. “Are we going to get you moved or what?” she asked, though she seemed in no rush to get up and move herself.

            “Let’s do it,” I said, squeezing her shoulder and standing to start the process of moving the last of the boxes to the truck so we could make a trip to her house. We would have to come back for the furniture that we were keeping, but that could wait until another day.

            After a few trips to the truck, the phone started ringing in the kitchen and I quickly set down the box I was moving to answer it.

            “Hello?” I said in a breathless tone.

            “May I speak with a Mr. Jared Jones?” the voice said as I heard papers shuffle.

            “That’s me,” I said with a sigh, expecting a telemarketer to being a long involved spiel that I didn’t have time for right then.

            “Mr. Jones, my name is Barry Barnes, I’m an attorney. I need to speak with you as soon as possible. Is there a time we could meet that would be convenient?”

            I was taken aback by his formal tone, but I could also hear the urgency in his voice and I was curious. “Well Mr. Barnes,” I said, “I’m in the middle of a move right now, but I have the whole week off. Where is your office? Perhaps I could stop by between trips?”

            “I can come to you,” he said. “My office is several states away. I have some papers for you and a letter from your friend Chloe.”

            When I heard Chloe’s name, my heart automatically stopped beating. The last letter I had received from her had been heartbreaking. Of course, I supposed with the change in events, I hadn’t ever really received that letter. But that didn’t mean I didn’t remember it in great detail.