Before the door clicks shut, he’s pushing my gown up to my waist. “Adam,” I say cautiously.
“I’ve had enough of everyone out there. I want to eat your pussy.”
I open my mouth to protest, but he’s already pulling my panties down. When he flicks his tongue over me, he moans long and loud, like my nectar is the sweetest thing on earth.
“I’ve been wanting to do this all night.”
I know there are five hundred guests just outside that door, but I can’t resist my man. And I don’t really want to. I doubt anyone else will venture into this utility closet, so I feel safe.
His hot tongue laves my clit, and now I’m the one who moans. I grip his shoulders to keep my balance.
I’m in the throes of passion when I hear the door creak open. I jump back so fast, I slip and nearly fall.
“Shit,” I utter, trying to right my dress. It’s then that I realize Adam isn’t hurrying like I am. In fact, he’s still on his knees, smiling as he swipes the back of his hand across his mouth.
“Adam!” I whisper sharply.
“Relax,” he says, stroking my hand. “I’m expecting company.”
“What?”
“Hello?” someone calls out. A man’s voice.
Now Adam gets to his feet. “Around the corner,” he answers.
My stomach takes a serious nosedive, and my breath leaves me in a rush. “Adam…”
“It’s a surprise, babe.”
Before I can say another word, an attractive white man rounds the corner. A moment later, I recognize him. Jason—the bartender who helped us create our own special drink for our wedding!
“What’s going on here?” I ask. My voice is shaky, and I feel sick. And scared.
“You remember Jason,” Adam answers.
“I remember him, but what’s he doing here?”
Jason moves toward me slowly. His lustful gaze makes me feel dirty. “Think of it as a present.”
My eyes fly to Adam’s. “A present?”
Adam rubs the small of my back. “Uh-huh. It’s okay. Jason enjoys…the lifestyle.”
“The
lifestyle?
”
“Usually when you swing, you bring a partner, but I was working the bar here—”
“A swinger?” I hiss, glaring at Adam. I look at Jason and say, “Give us a moment, please.”
I take Adam by the hand and pull him out of earshot from Jason. “What the fuck—”
He puts a finger on my lips to shush me. “I thought you wanted to try this.”
“
Me?
When did I ever tell you that?”
“That night we were at the club. You said you were turned on.”
“With you, yes. But it’s not something I want to try with other people. You want me to be with another man?”
“I didn’t think you were ready to be with another woman. I figured this was safer.”
“Here’s a news flash. I’ll
never
be with another woman, okay? You’ve been watching too much porn.”
Adam’s gaze wanders beyond me, and his lips curl in a grin. I whip my head around. Jason has his cock out and is stroking himself.
“Oh my God, Adam. He’s some kind of freak.”
“No, he’s just hot for you. He told me that the moment he saw you, he got a hard-on.”
I glare at Adam. “You’ve been smoking up, haven’t you?” Adam doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t have to. I can see it in his eyes. And in this absurd scenario he’s suggested. I can hardly believe that just moments before he gave such an empowering speech.
He covers my breasts, then kisses me. “Relax, baby. You’ve got two guys here to fulfill your every fantasy.”
I don’t understand him. He wants to watch me fuck another guy in this utility room, when there are hundreds of well-dressed, influential people just outside the door?
He nibbles on my ear. “We get married in four weeks.”
“And I don’t want to be doing this kind of shit.” I use a finger to angle his face so that he stares directly into my eyes. “Do you hear me? I am not into the ‘lifestyle’ or ‘swapping’ or whatever you want to call it. I am into you. But I’m not sure you’re into me,” I add, my voice cracking a little.
“Of course I’m into you. Why do you think I want to give you this gift?”
I inhale sharply when fingers skim my neck. I throw a gaze over my shoulder.
Jason smiles as he runs the tips of his fingers down my back. “I love your skin,” he tells me. “It’s so soft.” His hands move lower. “And I love this ass. I wanted to touch you the first moment I saw you.”
I quickly look at Adam. My eyes search his. For what—permission?
“It’s okay.” He plants a gentle kiss on my lips. “You’ll like this.”
Behind me, I feel Jason kiss my butt through my gown. A sexual charge shoots through me.
Oh, God help me.
“I’m not sure—”
“The moment you feel uncomfortable, we’ll stop. Okay?”
My reply is a shaky breath. Then Adam is kissing me, and Jason’s hands are trailing up my thigh…
I’m tense for a good ten seconds—Adam kissing me, Jason stroking my skin. I’m a little surprised that Jason’s fingers feel so…so gentle. Like he’s trying to savor every moment of this. Trying to seduce me.
But I jerk when his fingers graze my clit.
“Relax, baby,” Adam whispers. “Close your eyes.”
“I don’t know, Adam…”
Jason pushes my dress up and kisses my ass. I shudder. Then stiffen. This is disgusting. It’s wrong. Friggin’ twisted. And yet…his touch is strangely erotic.
Electric.
Jason slowly turns me around, and though I can hardly breathe, I don’t fight him. Fingering the lace of my thong, Jason groans with pleasure. “Oh my God, Claudia. What a beautiful pussy.”
I feel a jolt of unexpected heat.
Behind me, Adam unzips my gown. Jason wets his fingers and massages my nub. Adam’s warm lips kiss one of my shoulders as he pulls my dress straps down my arms. Now, my breasts are exposed. And to my shock, my body is thrumming with sexual energy. I’m feeling
turned on.
My body is excited and alive, reveling in the taboo of having a strange man’s fingers on my pussy.
“Fuck, I want to eat you, Claudia,” Jason rasps. “I want my tongue so far inside you…”
“You’ll like that, baby,” Adam says hotly against my ear as he tweaks my nipples. “You want that, don’t you?”
“Yes.” The word escapes on its own.
Jason pulls my clit into his mouth, and I gasp. And then I flinch. He’s sucking me so fervently, it’s too intense.
“Softer,” I tell him. “Not so much.”
Jason slows down, gently flicking his tongue now. “Like that?”
“Yes…”
Adam nibbles on my ear while playing with my nipples. “God, baby. You’re so beautiful. So amazing…”
An electrical charge of pleasure zaps me when Jason inserts a finger inside me. And then he starts sucking my clit again, softly this time, and my legs weaken. My breathing grows shallow.
“Yes, baby,” Adam whispers.
I explode, coming hard and panting fast. I close my eyes against the delicious sensations. Adam turns my face to his and kisses me while I ride the wave.
“I love you, baby,” he says. “God, I love you.”
“I love you, too.” And for a moment, I’m in orgasm heaven. But as my carnal bliss subsides, I glance down at Jason, see his smiling face. I’ve just shared the most intimate part of me with a stranger.
Christ, I came in his mouth.
I’m disgusted with myself.
I
t’s Sunday afternoon, the day after the charity fund-raiser, and I’m sitting with Lishelle and Claudia at our booth in Liaisons. I’m in a pissy mood and need to bitch.
“I mean, what is wrong with a sexual-wellness spa? Does something seedy happen there—something dirty? Because that’s what Charles implied on the way home last night. Worried that he could tarnish his reputation if people found out we went there. Am I completely clueless? Everything I’ve read says that couples go there to reconnect sexually—and what’s wrong with that?”
Lishelle swallows her mouthful of food, then answers. “Nothing. I would think Charles would jump at the chance to go.”
My own plate of scrambled eggs and bacon is mostly untouched. Instead, I’m sucking back mimosas like I didn’t wake up with a hangover. “I’m beginning to think that even if Charles can get it up, he doesn’t want to.”
“Did you bring up the whole impotency thing?” Lishelle asks.
“I tried. Another brush-off.” I can’t help groaning. “What am I supposed to do—live without a man forever just because I’m married to a guy who doesn’t want to make love to me? We got home last night and I hoped, I prayed he would make a decent effort to get it up. But he went right to bed. Leaving me there in a Dolce & Gabbana gown any other man would have wanted to rip off. I’m not sure I can take much more of this. I
need
to have sex.”
“I understand your frus—”
“No, you don’t,” I say, cutting Claudia off. “I’m so desperate, I’m considering having an affair.”
Claudia and Lishelle exchange a glance before looking at me again.
“I met someone,” I continue. “He came into my studio. And the way he looked at me…I don’t remember ever feeling so sexually charged just from a look. This guy made me remember that I’m a woman. He made me remember all the times I’ve been hit on in my life. Even by some of my clients’ fiancés—you remember the stories. I used to look in the mirror and see a confident and beautiful woman, but somehow, Charles has taken that from me. I want that back.”
“Wow.” Lishelle pushes her plate of pastries to the side. Claudia suddenly stops chewing her bacon.
“After I met this guy, I went home and used a vibrator for the first time, thinking of him through it all, and I had
the
best orgasm.”
“Aren’t vibrators fucking great?” Lishelle asks. “I’ve been telling you for years to buy one.”
“I thought that would be enough,” I say sadly, “but it wasn’t.”
“So now you want to have sex with him?” Claudia asks, sounding a little shocked.
A beat passes before I answer. “I’m not sure. I thought I wanted that, but then I ripped up his card, so I have no way to contact him. Unless…”
“Unless what?” Lishelle asks.
“He came in with his younger brother and the brother’s fiancée. They said they want to hire me, but they haven’t been back, so who knows?”
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Claudia comments.
“You think I shouldn’t have an affair?”
Claudia holds her forkful of eggs before her mouth. “If you want my honest opinion, no. But I’m about to get married.”
“Yeah,” Lishelle says. “You’re still in that blissful stage. When everything about marriage seems wonderful and perfect.”
“And what about you, Miss Suddenly Engaged to your first love.”
“I’m just saying—I
was
married, and it wasn’t always wonderful, and the sad reality is that yes, some people have affairs.” Now Lishelle faces me. “I am in no way saying you should have an affair. But then, that’s not my decision to make. If things are rough with Charles and you’ve tried all you can and you need to get some sex on the side…” She shrugs. “I’ll support you, whatever you decide.”
“Wonders never cease,” Claudia mutters.
“Annelise is a grown woman, and we’re not her parents. We’re her friends.”
As Lishelle and Claudia banter back and forth about what’s morally right, my mind drifts to Dominic. I can’t stop thinking about him. Even last night, when I was so pissed with Charles about Arizona, I began comforting myself with thoughts of Dominic. I’ll bet he wouldn’t balk at the idea of going to a sex spa. I’ll bet he couldn’t pack his bags fast enough.
That’s exactly what I imagined last night as Charles lay with his back to me, snoring. I thought of me and Dominic walking into a magnificent room at a resort tucked away in an Arizona desert, with a fire already going in the living room’s fireplace. Of course, there was a bottle of champagne chilling, and excited, Dom took my hand and hurried into the room with me. We both laughed like teenagers. Then he scooped me in his arms and twirled me around, and I clung to him, knowing that within minutes we’d be naked and having the best sex of our lives.
In my dream, once the twirling stopped, Dominic laid a heavy kiss on me, his tongue twisting with mine. I grabbed at his shirt, ripping it in my haste to get it off. Then I went for his jeans, unzipping them and shimmying them down his hips with his briefs. I moaned in delight at the sight of his penis—large and solid and angling to my right.
I took it in my hands, stroked him as I kissed the tip. Stroked him as I added my tongue, tasting the flavor of salt. Then I ran my tongue in circles around the top of his cock.
“Christ, Annie…”
Pressing my fingers into his ass, I took him into my mouth as far as I could. In and out I moved around him the way my pussy would.
Dominic tangled his fingers in my hair. “I can’t take this. I don’t want to come yet.”
He tugged me to my feet and pulled my simple black dress over my head. When he saw I was wearing nothing underneath, not even panties, his eyes roamed over me with heated appreciation. Then he kicked off his jeans and dropped to his knees, giving me not even a moment to catch my breath as he sucked my clit into his mouth and devoured it with his hot tongue.
With Charles beside me, it was too risky to get the vibrator, but I pushed two fingers as far as I could inside my body with one hand, while with the other I massaged my nub until I was panting.
“Oh, Dom…”
I stole a quick glance at Charles, wondering if my moans had wakened him. They hadn’t.
I slipped another finger into my pussy, imagining Dominic pushing his tongue inside me as far as he could go. I imagined gripping his head, staring into his eyes as he twirled his hot tongue over my clit.
And, fuck, I started to come. I had to bite down on my bottom lip to quiet my moans, certain I’d wake Charles.
But Charles never stirred.
“Annelise!” I feel an urgent slap on my hand.
“Huh?” I say, confused for a moment as to where I am. And then I remember. I’m with my friends. In a restaurant. And I’ve just wet my panties remembering my hot fantasy of last night with Greek God, Dominic.
“You look totally flushed,” Claudia says. “Are you all right?”
I shift uncomfortably in my seat. Holy shit, I can’t believe I just zoned out like that.
Here!
And now I have to scramble to remember what we were talking about.
“You do look a little…something,” Lishelle tells me.
I take a huge gulp of my drink. And then I remember. We were discussing the pros and cons of me cheating with Dominic. Of course, I already have—in my mind.
“I’m probably all talk, anyway,” I assure Claudia. I drag a hand over my face in an attempt to regain my composure. I really am flushed. “There’s a big part of me that believes I’ll burn in hell for even
thinking
I might want to have an affair.”
“Maybe you should try something else, but still drastic,” Claudia counters.
I look at Claudia. “Like what?”
“I don’t know. Like…like going to a swingers’ club or something. That ought to get Charles’s attention.”
“A swingers’ club?” Lishelle jerks her head in Claudia’s direction so fast it’s a wonder her neck doesn’t break. “Where did that come from?”
“Yeah, where did that come from?” I echo, though I remember Claudia telling me about Adam’s craving for weird sex these days.
Claudia gulps her mimosa before speaking. “It was just…I saw something on HBO about swingers’ clubs a while ago. Just an idea. Something different.”
“I have a hard enough time trying to get Charles to have sex with
me,
” I point out. “I don’t want to watch him get hot and bothered for anyone else.”
“Of course. Forget I even said it.”
“Honestly, it’s not like there’s anything I haven’t tried. I even rented porn in hopes that it would turn him on. He didn’t even stay up to watch it with me.”
“That would get Adam off,” Claudia mutters.
“Do you think he’s having an affair?” Lishelle asks me point blank. “Because when David stopped having sex with me—” Lishelle stops speaking, her eyes narrowing as she turns to Claudia. I look at her, too. She’s quietly crying.
“Okay,” Lishelle says. “What’s going on, babe?”
“I’m being testy and miserable, and it has nothing to do with you, Annie.”
“I’m not mad at you, honey,” I tell her. “Please don’t cry.”
“That’s not it.”
“It’s not about the dresses, is it?” Lishelle asks. “Because if you want violet—”
“It’s not the dresses.” Claudia blows her nose in her napkin.
“I’m starting to worry here, Claudia,” I tell her.
“I did something last night,” Claudia begins quietly. “And I feel so awful. So dirty. But Adam ambushed me with this. He told me how much it would turn him on if I did it.” Claudia squeezes her eyes shut. “Oh, God…”
My heart is racing, that’s how concerned I am for her. “What, hon? What did he make you do?”
Claudia inhales a deep breath, and glances around to make sure no one is within earshot. “After his speech, he took me to some utility room. He wanted to make out, like he always does. And that was fine. He gets off doing it in risqué places. But then…”
“What?” Lishelle asks.
Claudia sniffles. “Then some guy comes in. No, not just
some
guy—the bartender I told you about who helped us make our own personal drink for our wedding?”
I nod. “Right.”
“Apparently this guy was working the party last night. And Adam arranged for him to meet us in the utility room so we could have a threesome.”
I’m so stunned by Claudia’s words, it’s like there’s no one else in the restaurant. All the noises I’d been aware of moments before—laughter and chatting and a baby crying—it doesn’t exist anymore, I’m so focused on this situation with Claudia.
Lishelle is the first one to speak. “You had sex with a stranger?”
“I didn’t let him…do that. He…he played with me. Fondled me. Ate my pussy in a serious way.”
Lishelle gasps. “Some strange man went down on you?”
“Twice,” Claudia admits shamefully. “The first time, I came quickly. You know—because Adam was touching my nipples. The guy—
Jason
—said he wanted to do it again, wanted me to really savor it.”
“Holy shit,” Lishelle exclaims.
“Believe me, Lishelle, I’m not proud of myself. It would have been one thing if I wanted to do it, but Adam was pressuring me, and then Jason started touching me…”
I have no clue what to say. The first thing that pops into my mouth is, “Did you enjoy it?”
Claudia’s gaze bounces from Lishelle to me. “Not really, no. Well, I don’t know. I guess…maybe. After he figured out how I liked it. At first he was chomping away on me and I kept telling him to slow down. It was like, ‘Hello, I still need that in the future!’”
“I’m speechless,” I say. “I really am.”
“I didn’t want to enjoy it, but it was a tongue on my clit and he was cute. I thought that the first time I saw him. There’s no doubt I was physically attracted to him, but I don’t go around fucking every guy I’m physically attracted to.”
“Adam was excited?” I ask.
“I’ve never seen Adam so turned on in all my life. Jason’s got his tongue so far inside me, and when I glance at Adam, he’s jerking off.”
Lishelle’s eyes widen in surprise. “Holy. I can’t believe Adam wanted to share you with some other guy.”
Claudia downs the last of her mimosa. “Adam’s sexual appetite lately is out of control. I don’t know what’s going on with him.” She pauses. “Do you guys hate me?”
“Hate you? No,” I assure her. “We don’t hate you, and I certainly can’t judge you. And hey, this is the new millennium. I know there are lots of people out there who swap partners, and they’re happy.”
“But I don’t want that to be me. I told Adam that. I’m not into all that crazy stuff. I just want Adam. Please don’t ask me any details about what I’m about to say, but he took me to a swingers’ club a couple weeks back—shocked me with that, too. And no, we didn’t swap partners. We watched, fooled around…But after last night, I had to put my foot down. Tell him this kind of thing is not okay with me. He swore last night was the last of it, that he wanted to live out some fantasies before we got married and he’s satisfied now.”
“And you believe him?” Lishelle asks.
“I have to. Beside, there’s no way when we’re married that I’m going to be saying okay to anything like this. I’m sick to my stomach admitting any of this to both of you.”
“Maybe he’s freaking over the wedding more than you realized,” Lishelle says. “Some guys see marriage as the end of their sexual freedom. It doesn’t make sense, I know.”
“I give him everything he wants when it comes to sex. Everything. I should be enough, shouldn’t I?”
“Of course you should,” I agree.
“Should is one thing. Reality is another.” Lishelle shakes her head. “Look at how David was screwing around on me. And that was a happy man when it came to our sex life. Sometimes, you just can’t figure men out.”
“And despite being burned, you’re willing to get married again?” I ask.
Lishelle smiles, an ear-to-ear grin. “Fucking right I am. I have no doubts. Glenn’s different, ya know? We go way back. Whether he’s been in my life or not he’s always been in my heart.” She sighs happily. “What can I say—the man’s my soul mate.”
“I’m going to live vicariously through you,” I announce. “You’re totally in love, having great sex—right?”