Read Geek Girls Don't Date Dukes Online
Authors: Gina Lamm
Tags: #Romance, #Literature & Fiction, #United States, #Regency, #Science Fiction & Fantasy, #Time Travel
When Leah didn’t respond right away, Cook gave
her arm a little shake. “Promise me, lass. I’ll not leave go
until you do.”
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“Fine, I promise.” The words spilled out reluctantly
and Leah pulled her arm free. The relief on the woman’s
red face was plain.
“Good. It is time to retire, so go up with the others.
Not a word of this conversation to anyone.”
Without waiting for a reply, Cook turned and left
Leah in the empty kitchen. Leah crossed her arms and
furrowed her brow. What conversation? As far as Leah
could tell, Cook had talked and Leah had listened, even
though she didn’t understand a word of it.
Why would Cook be so adamant about Avery? It
didn’t make any sense.
“Ramsey, as penance for your tardiness this evening,
you will finish the scrubbing up,” Mrs. Harper said when
Leah entered. In the few minutes she’d been with Cook
in the kitchen, most everyone seemed to have cleared
out. “You will find the scullery off the main kitchen
there. Straight to your bed when you’ve done, and you
are expected here for your tasks by five. I shall not be
so lenient with your punishment if you are tardy again.
Tomorrow you will learn your regular duties. Granville
House is one of the most respected homes in London,
and you must work to maintain that status with the rest
of us.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Leah said dutifully to the woman’s back
as she exited the servant’s hall, leaving her completely
alone. Man, they didn’t really go for friendly working
relationships, did they? Or maybe it was just Leah.
Maybe they could tell she was way more familiar with
the intimate workings of
The
Legend
of
Zelda
than with a broom. In any case, she thought as she wandered through
the dim kitchen to the smallish room on the side, she
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Gina Lamm
would be pretty damn happy to see the end of her stint
as maid, and she hadn’t even done any real work yet.
Pushing open the door to the scullery, Leah ground to
a horrified halt. “Oh,
hell
no.”
It looked like an episode of
Hoarders: Regency Edition
.
Sticky dishes were piled everywhere, layered with crusts
and molding bits of food. Large pots were stacked to one
side of a huge basin, which was filled with grayish water.
Flies buzzed gleefully around the whole mucky scene.
Leah slammed her eyes shut. “This has got to be a
joke.” Even without the vision in front of her, the smell
of old food was proof enough that reality had a really
cruel sense of humor.
What
do
you
want, Leah? You want true love? You want
to find a man that Pawpaw can feel good about you marrying?
Then here. Prove it. Do the best damn job you can. It’s the
only way you’ll get the chance to win the game.
With a dejected sigh, Leah rolled up her sleeves and
grabbed an apron. If she was lucky, she’d get this done in
two hours, which would mean a good six hours of sleep.
She could operate on that. She hoped.
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Seven
She wasn’t lucky. Not only was she not lucky, she
was almost completely sure that Mrs. Knightsbridge
had put some kind of curse on her before shoving her
through that mirror.
She
didn’t shove you. You practically dived face- first into
that bureau’s glass front. “Don’t worry, Pawpaw. I’ll go off
and have an adventure and find super- husband and everything
will be perfect!” Typical Leah. Idiot.
The dishwater splashed into Leah’s face as she
slammed the plate down into it. A drop hit her tongue,
and she nearly gagged. Wiping her face against her arm,
she sighed and resumed scrubbing.
It was after midnight according to the bonging she
heard from somewhere in the house, and she still had
three pots to scour. Her hands were pale and wrinkled
like raisins. Her nails were jagged, her mobcap was slip-
ping, and to make things worse, a large brown spider
was working in a dusty corner directly in front of Leah.
She had to stand as far away from the basin as possible to
avoid any chance of contact. Arachnophobia wasn’t one
of those things she could just suck it up and deal with.
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“I’ve got my eye on you, you eight- legged bastard,”
Leah said aloud to the spider as she worked at a
crusted- on bit of something. “If you move, you and I
are going to have problems. I’m talking major issues.
You should probably go ahead and pick out your
casket, because
EEeeeeeeek
!”
The spider moved. The pot clattered to the floor,
splattering dishwater all over Leah, the clean dishes,
and the spider, who skittered down the wall toward the
floor as fast as his many legs could carry him. Letting out
another bloodcurdling shriek, Leah ran for the kitchen
and collided with a solid, muscled, male body in the
scullery doorway.
“Help,” she gasped into Avery’s face, completely
uncaring that her voice was thin and panicked. “There’s
a huge spider, and it was too close to me, and it ran and
I don’t know where it went.”
He looked like she’d just grabbed an unexpected
handful of Mr. Happy, but she couldn’t do anything
about that. The irrational fear completely blocked logic
from her mind as she climbed Avery’s body like a well-
muscled ladder. Looking over her shoulder to make sure
the spider hadn’t followed, she twined her arms around
his neck and her legs around his waist and held on for
dear life.
i
He’d known the lass for less than a day, and she’d just
wound herself around him like the crust on a meat pie.
She wasn’t an overly fleshy girl, but she was surpris-
ingly heavy when she clung to him like a petrified and
hissing cat. Though his first instinct was to shove her
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away, breaking the unexpected and— if he was quite
honest, painful— contact, he repressed it with difficulty.
Spreading his feet apart to give him more balance, he
carefully began to peel her from his body, making sure
to move slowly and methodically, both to prevent
distressing her further and causing his bruised body
greater discomfort. Her panicked state would not facili-
tate his swift release.
“Stoppit, Avery, please. Holy shit, he’s coming this way!”
She clung to him tighter, burying her face in his
neck. The measured pace of his removal gave him ample
opportunity to feel the soft vice of her thighs around
his hips, the press of her breasts against his chest. The
scent of a sweet perfume invaded his senses, and tendrils
of yellow hair tickled his cheek. The heavy ache in his
bones accompanied a deep tingling of desire at the base
of his spine.
“Miss Ramsey, release me.” His voice was firm if
muffled by the mobcap she’d pressed against his cheek.
For every finger he removed from its grip at the back of
his neck, another grabbed hold. “Now.” He mustn’t be
seen with her this way; it would ruin her. His unease was
growing into a creature that resembled her panic at the
sight of the spider. He had to break their contact quickly.
He could not harm her reputation, not when she’d been
so kind to him.
“I can’t. Kill it, please.”
His voice was angrier than he’d intended, but he
could not temper his response. “How am I to kill
anything with you clinging to me like a vulture on a
rotted corpse?”
“Ugh,” she said, loosening her hold enough to look
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him in the eyes. Her delicate nose wrinkled in disgust.
“What a gross visual.”
With barely disguised relief, he grabbed her around
the waist and turned, pulling her free and setting her in a
chair with a soft thump. His security was tempered with
another, stranger sense of loss. How odd.
“Where is it? Did you kill it yet?” She peered around
his hip as if looking for a brigand to come despoil her
instead of a tiny spider.
“Wait there a moment.”
He turned away from her and straightened his
clothing. Scanning the stone floor beneath his feet, he
stepped slowly.
“There it is! Oh my God, there it is by that bag.”
Instead of examining the tiny spider that was making
its way up the side of a sack of flour, Avery looked over
his shoulder at Miss Ramsey. She’d clapped both hands
over her eyes, drawing her feet up beneath her as if to
keep them away from the slavering fangs of the blood-
thirsty spider. It would have been humorous had her fear
not been so real.
Taking pity on her, he knocked the spider from the
bag, onto a small piece of kindling, intending to usher
the blighter outside.
“Don’t take it on a transatlantic cruise, just squish it
for chrissakes!” Her choked voice chastised him.
Ignoring her, Avery walked slowly, turning the
kindling to keep the spider from falling or jumping
free. Shoving the kitchen door open with his knee, he
bent down and deposited the spider in the bush beside
the stoop.
“There, lad. Mind you, stay clear of the kitchen and
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Miss Ramsey. I’ll not be allowed to spare your life a
second time.”
He smiled as the small creature disappeared into the
darkened foliage. The door’s hinges creaked as he pulled
it shut.
She sat in the same position, feet tucked beneath her
and hands plastered over her eyes.
“Is it safe?”
“It is. He will trouble you no longer, miss.”
Avery watched as the tension slowly ebbed from her
fingertips, her hands, then her arms and shoulders. Her
feet slid to the floor, and her whole body melted like
warmed candle wax. The corner of her mouth turned
down, her cheeks were pale, and her demeanor was that
of one utterly defeated.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking down at the
floor. “Snakes I can handle. Mice are fine. I know it’s
stupid, I know, but those damn spiders scare the crap out
of me.” She looked up at him, her blue eyes shiny with
unshed tears. “I’m so sorry.”
His arms ached but not from the beating he’d taken.
He didn’t know why. Never before had he felt the urge
to do something, to ease her discomfort, to shelter her
by…holding her in his arms? No. The thought was
insupportable. She had come here for the duke, and he
could not stand in her way.
Abruptly turning away, Avery cleared his throat and
clasped his hands behind his back. “It is of no conse-
quence.” Keeping his gaze trained on a stack of bowls, he
fought to regain his composure. What had this woman
done to him?
“I hate to even ask you this.” Her voice was thin and
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small. “Would you mind checking the scullery? To see if
he had any, er, friends in there.”
Without comment, Avery turned and walked into
the scullery.
Pots and dishes were piled everywhere, mostly
clean but for a pile of largish pots to one side of the
washbasin. He stooped to pick up a half- scrubbed pot
from the stones of the floor. This must have been the
crash he’d heard when entering the kitchen. He set the
pot upright by the basin and examined the corners of
the room.
“There is no sign of any eight- legged compatriots,
madam. I should think you are safe.”
“Are you sure?” Her pale face peered around the
corner of the doorjamb.
“Quite certain.”
She entered the room slowly, eyes darting this way
and that, as if she didn’t quite trust his report. He said not a word as she moved with arms crossed tightly over her
middle to stand in the center of the room.
“Thank you.” She didn’t look up at him as she spoke.
“Again, I’m really sorry about that. I just can’t handle
spiders. I’m not normally such a wimp, so please don’t
think I can’t do this, okay?”
“What do you mean?”
She gestured to the mound of dishes. “I know you
and Cook are risking a lot by getting me this job. I can
handle it, I promise. I don’t want you to think because
I wigged out over a huge, monstrously awful spider that
I can’t hack this job.” She nodded and straightened her
spine. “I’m kind of a bad ass, when I need to be.”