Game On (17 page)

“Puppy love. That's what you call what we had.”

“OK, maybe we even loved each other in spite of how young we were. But it was a long time ago. It has nothing to do with the present.”

“It wasn't that long ago.”

“Long enough, Lucas. We live in two different worlds. I mean, really, the President called to ask for your help.” She wiped at the tears falling down her cheeks. “You belong in that world. I don't.”

If she didn't care about him, why was she crying?

“But I want us to live in the same world.”

She met his gaze and shook her head. “It can't happen. We're too different.”

Lucas heard her words and knew she meant them, but he could see the love in her eyes. He didn't understand what the problem was. She'd forgiven him, and they'd moved past those old hurts. He wanted a life with her. Maybe it was too quick for her. He shouldn't have surprised her like that. One small step at a time instead of one giant leap. He could be patient. After all, he worked for the government. “Can we at least be friends?”

She grabbed the box of tissues. “We are friends, Lucas.”

That was a start. “Friends visit each other, so that means I'll see you soon.”

“No more flowers.”

He shrugged. “I'm not making any promises. I'll keep you posted on what's going on with the FBI investigation.”

“Hopefully, they'll find out who is behind this so you can get back to your real life.”

He smiled at Nikki, knowing she was his real life. If only he could convince her that they were meant to be together. If only he could break through that wall she'd built. But those were mighty big ifs!

****

Nikki was sitting on the bed when someone knocked on the door. “Come in.”

“Hey, little sis. Just checking to see if you need anything before I go to bed.”

“Not a thing.”

“Is it OK if we talk for a minute?”

Now what? The last thing she wanted was another heart-to-heart. Of course, she couldn't blame her sister. Bethany must be worried to death about Lucas coming to the house. Might as well get it over with. “Don't worry, Bethany. I know Lucas can't keep coming over to the house. I'll find a way to stop it.”

“What is it you think you know?”

“I have no plans to get involved with Lucas. I wouldn't do that to…to this family. To you.” Nikki lowered her voice.

Bethany closed the door behind her. “Do you have feelings for him?”

That was a good question. One she'd been avoiding answering even to herself. “It doesn't matter if I do.”

Bethany sat down. “It does matter.”

“All that matters is that Cas—that this family stays intact.”

“If this is the man who will make you happy, then we'll figure it out. Our family, and that includes you, is strong enough to withstand the truth.”

Nikki didn't believe that for a minute. The truth would devastate Cassie. She shook her head. “How can you think that I would ever want to be with him after…after what happened?”

“What really happened, Nikki? Think about it. What did Lucas do that was so awful? You broke up with him because Mom and Dad made you. He didn't break up with you.”

Nikki adjusted her position so she could look at Bethany. “I know you're right, but he could have defied them. Instead he left me to face…to face…well, you know what I faced.”

“But he didn't know about it. You can't keep blaming him.”

“He would have known if he'd come to see me even once. And I am not blaming him. I've forgiven him.” She smiled at Bethany. “It feels so good to not be angry at him anymore.”

“It wasn't his fault, Nikki. In fact, we may have been the ones who did the unforgivable.” Her sister's voice was quiet, reflective.

Nikki stared at the ceiling. Those were tough words to hear, but her sister was right. “Even more reason why we can't ever have a relationship. It's too complicated. It's all in the past. Let's leave it there.”

Bethany wiped away tears. “I want you to be happy. And if Lucas can make you happy, we'll figure it out. We'll make it work out.”

Nikki leaned over and hugged her. “You are the best sister ever. I love you and I appreciate that you want me to be happy, but Lucas McMann will not ever be a part of my life.”

“If that's what you want, fine, but don't be a martyr. You have as much right to be happy as anyone else.”

Could Lucas make her happy? She shook her head. “Can you see me as a senator's wife at a cocktail party in a fancy dress? I think not. The fanciest thing in my wardrobe is a glittery T-shirt.”

Bethany whispered in her ear. “I think you would make a wonderful wife to Lucas or to any man you choose.” She walked to the door. “Sweet dreams.”

Nikki lay in the dark. There would be no sweet dreams that night. How could she not have realized that before? Could she really be that selfish and unfeeling? Apparently so. For so many years, she'd made herself believe she'd been the one betrayed by Lucas. Now she had to face the truth—she'd betrayed Lucas, not the other way around.

He had a right to be angry at her. And he didn't even know it.

She turned onto her good side and curled up in a ball, allowing the tears to come as she prayed for forgiveness. The tears washed away the years of anger and the bitterness. The deceit she'd participated in when she'd been so hurt she didn't know where to turn. Even as her heart healed, she knew Lucas still couldn't be a part of her life.

He would never forgive her if he found out the truth about Cassie being his child. And rightfully so.

She could admit to herself that sometime in the past few days, she'd fallen in love with him all over again. But they could never have a future together.

Decisions had been made the night Cassie had been born. Decisions that had changed their lives forever. And it was too late to un-change them.

Nikki lay in the dark, staring at the ceiling. It may not have been the right thing to do, but they'd done it. And it had worked out.

Bethany and Ray loved Cassie. They had created a wonderful life for her baby—the baby she couldn't take care of.

Perhaps, if she'd gone to Lucas. Told him the truth, everything would be different. But she hadn't. Now she would have to live with her choices—and part of that choice included not telling Lucas. It would be just as wrong to try to rectify her mistake for her own selfish desires.

In the dark, Nikki whispered, “God, forgive me.”

19

Nikki opened her eyes. She'd tossed and turned most of the night. But sometime in the wee hours, God had given her the grace to forgive herself. Her heart overflowed with peace and joy along with an expectant excitement that God was working in her life. It was amazing, and she wanted more of that kind of love.

God had a great plan for her life.

Her Christian mentor had told her this, but she hadn't felt the truth of that promise until now. And even though she still loved Lucas, she was at peace that he couldn't be a part of her life. Now all she had to do was to figure out what it was God wanted her to do.

Was Lucas right about a flower farm? She closed her eyes and imagined herself surrounded by flowers, digging in the dirt, creating beauty from a seed. It was a pretty picture, but she wasn't sure. It might take a little time to figure out what she should be doing. She followed the scent of cinnamon to the kitchen. “Morning, Bethany.”

“Just in time. The muffins will be ready as soon as I put a little icing on them.”

“How about a lot?”

“Did I say a little? I meant a lot. I don't have to ask you how you slept—I can see. You look exhausted. They shouldn't have let you come home yet. Maybe you weren't ready.”

“Oh, I was more than ready to get out of the hospital. I wouldn't have slept any better there. It may not have been the best night's sleep, but not to worry, I feel wonderful.” She walked over to the coffeepot and poured a large mugful.

Cassie rushed into the kitchen, holding her laptop. “I found it. I found it.”

“Found what?”

“It wasn't easy. It took me most of the night but I found it. Then I fell asleep. I just woke up or I would have been down sooner. Can you believe it? I found it!” She grabbed a muffin and took a large bite. “I love Mom's nutty-cinnamon muffins. She really is spoiling you.”

“They are tasty. Now, tell me what you found.”

Cassie dove into the refrigerator and came out with a jug of milk. She took a glass from the dishwasher and plopped in a chair. “After you told us why Mr. McMann hired you, I started searching on the internet. I put in all kinds of search words.
Games
.
Famous people
.
Pictures
.
Photographs
. Any word I could think of. Nothing.”

“You didn't have to do that.”

“I told you computers are my thing. If Mr. McMann thought he was the victim of some sort of cyberstalking, I wanted to find it.” She poured milk and bit off another chunk of the muffin at the same time. “And besides, somebody shot you. They need to be arrested and the key thrown away.”

“Don't talk with your mouth full. So, what did you find?”

“At first nothing, but then I thought about it. What would make people take pictures of someone for someone else?” Another bite of the muffin. “The answer—money.”

“Of course. That makes sense.”

“I started searching for sites that offered money for photos and eventually found this.” She turned her laptop towards Nikki. “This is the Connecting Bridge.” She pointed. “Ever hear of it?”

“Sure, it's one of the sites that keeps me in business. People connecting with long-lost loves, then thinking the grass will be greener on the other side. All it usually does is lead to heartache and divorce.” She wondered what was going on with Stanley and his wife.

“I don't know about that, but I finally found this site.” She pointed at the screen.

Do you live in Washington, DC, or North Carolina?

Want to make some money?

“I don't see anything about Lucas.” She hated saying his name within hearing distance of Cassie.

“Gotta read the small copy. Here, I'll read it for you. Maybe your old-lady eyes are too bad.”

“My old-lady eyes are just fine.” She pulled the laptop closer.

Want to make some EASY CASH?

I'll pay for each photo you send me of senators, congressmen, and other politicians in the DC area, especially for North Carolina politicians. Email me to find out this month's target.

Nikki looked at Cassie. “Still doesn't say Lucas's name.”

“True, but I emailed the person. The email site is no longer active, but I was able to access old emails.”

“You accessed someone else's email account. That doesn't sound legal.” Nikki's eyes narrowed as she stared at Cassie. “How did you do that, may I ask?”

Cassie gulped the last of her milk and then smiled. “Don't ask.”

“I don't want you doing illegal things—ever.” Bethany walked over to the table.

“Your mom is right. That's not the way to find out who is responsible for shooting me.”

“Like I said, don't ask.” Cassie picked up another muffin. “Anyway, when I got access to the email, there was only one target. It was the same target month after month.”

“Lucas?”

“The one and only.”

Nikki grabbed another muffin. Cassie was right; they were tasty. “Now all I have to do is find out who set up the Bridge site and the email.”

“I'm sure the FBI will be able to do that.” Bethany wiped away some crumbs.

“Already did!” Cassie said triumphantly.

Bethany shook her head. “You and I will be having a long talk about following the law, little missy.”

“Don't you want to know who it is?”

“It would serve you right if I refused to listen, but I did get shot. So I guess I have a right to know. Who is it?” Nikki took a sip of coffee and then set down the cup.

“Well, that wasn't easy either.”

Bethany glared at Cassie. “Stop bragging.”

“She did a good job hiding it, but eventually, they had to pay with a credit card. And she did.”

“She? It's a woman?” Nikki hadn't even considered that possibility. She'd simply assumed it was a man.

“And not just any woman. Someone who knows the congressman.” Cassie beamed at the two of them.

****

“Lucas, who are all these strange people on my property?”

With all that was going on, he wasn't taking any chances with his mother's safety. “I hired a few security guards.”

“I would have thought the FBI agent would be more than enough to keep watch on you.”

He didn't want to admit they weren't there to keep an eye on him, but on her. “You're probably right. I overreacted, but I've already paid for them for the next few days, so they might as well stay.” Lucas walked out to the screened-in porch, or as Mama called it—the veranda. In that sweet Southern drawl of hers, just saying the word drew a picture of time gone past. “You outdid yourself, Mama.”

The furniture had been pushed to the perimeter of the room. Each of the four tables was surrounded by five chairs. The white linen tablecloths contrasted with the rose-colored antique china. Atop each of the plates sat a teacup and saucer. A small flower arrangement decorated the center of the table.

“It does look nice, doesn't it?”

“And you do this every month?”

“I like to show that gracious Southern living isn't dead quite yet.”

“That's good, Mama. Nothing wrong with traditions.”

“It's so sad these days. Most young women are too busy climbing up the corporate ladder to enjoy the finer things in life.”

“It's a different world than you grew up in, Mama.”